A/N

This same time two years ago, I started this story, my first one. And with the way my life is going, probably the last. (I mean, a year between updates?! Am I kidding?! Lol!)

I know I was not as great as some the authors here, still am not tbh, but I really tried. It was just a hobby. Life got in the way, sorry I updated too slowly.

Ultimately, I found it so difficult to end. Part of me did not want it to end, bigger part of me did not know how I would end it.

As a way of me apologizing to people who actually sent me messages, asking me for the rest... Here's my answer.

The Ending to A Bastard's Dignity.

I will come back from time to time. I will clean up the loopholes (there's too many, I counted), rewrite dialogues maybe.

To some who did not like it, Im sorry. I promise I'll do better next time. Meanwhile, calm the fuck down. Haha!

So all in all, THANK YOU. If you are reading this note... Gotcha!

CIAO! ;p

-Cora Reed.

Jon

There were not a lot of people to be there for the funeral. It was held before the sun was about to set. A wildling death within their land was not an occasion to attend to by its people.

Jon thought Koreen was beautiful in the blue and gray dress she was wearing. The wind gently blew her fiery red hair making it look like it was dancing and still alive. Her face was white as snow. Jon did not think Koreen could ever be paler. He did not think that she could be any more beautiful than before.

He looked at Robb.

Lord Stark ordered that Koreen's body be burned and her ashes scattered on the river. To free Koreen, he said.

The girls, including Luna, brought flowers and put them around Koreen.

After a while, Lord Stark signaled to one of his men to light the torch. But then Robb took the torch.

From her feet, he lit the dry hay where her body laid. He then set fire at the middle. Jon saw Robb stared at her abdomen. And finally he went on and lit the hay where her head rested.

When the fire grew, and the heat too great, everyone moved back.

In the end, Ned and Catelyn turned around and walked towards the castle. The children followed, and the other folks as well.

But Robb and Jon stood there silently, only the crackling of the fire breaking the quietness.

There were two servants who stayed to put more wood to the fire and to collect her after. Robb moved towards them. Jon saw Robb threw something onto the fire. The necklace.

Robb looked at Jon, until Robb broke the stare and talked to one of the servants.

"Kindly save half of her ashes then bring it to me when it's done." He then turned to Jon. Jon looked at his brother's sunken eyes.

"She loved you, Robb. She—she said it." Jon said to his brother.

Jon saw how hurt his brother was in knowing that he was the one who heard her last words. Robb held Jon's shoulder and nodded. Then he walked on.

Jon walked to his chamber as everyone went on with their day. He excused himself from supper and saw that Robb was not there too.

Jon marched to his room as fast as his feet could take him. He removed his fur coat once he let himself in and felt the surging cold air to his body. Against the cold wind, his body was sweltering. His body still ached from the beatings.

He dreaded this moment. Jon contemplated leaving Winterfell, not because he wanted but he needed to. That was the plan. It was not like he had any other choice.

For a moment, he imagined what it would be like if he had gone away with Koreen. The idea of living in a country house, going home after a hard day's work was something a bastard could hardly dream of.

He then remembered Koreen. Her face, her innocence, her stupid wit, her laugh. Every day with her would have been great. He missed her company.

He recalled her eyes the first time she stepped a foot in Winterfell, then her eyes the last time she looked at him.

Troy ran to his brother's side, leaving Jon almost half dead.

Jon did not see when the arrow was released. He did not know where it came from until he traced its way from Ferros' neck to Koreen. He saw her struggling to stand, trying to hold her bow, and finally collapsing.

Jon summed up all of what was left of his energy to drag himself towards Koreen. He struggled to stand, to walk, stumbling on his way to her. He let himself skid to her side.

She was wearing the same clothes she was wearing when she arrived in Winterfell, he did not notice earlier. Her face was covered with dirt and dried tears. Jon could not help but be mad at her.

"What are you doing? I told you to hide!" Jon scooped her quickly and laid her on his lap.

Koreen coughed dryly. Her lips were almost white even among the darkness. Jon's lips were trembling.

He took her cold hand, stained with dried blood, blew them with his warm breath.

"I…" Koreen feebly voiced.

Jon saw her exhaustion. He touched her face, pale as snow. "Shh… you will tire yourself." His voice trembled.

"I love you…" Koreen whispered, looking straight to Jon's eyes.

Jon's stomach lurched. His own heart filled with confused emotions. "Don't speak, Koreen. You're safe now. I am here. You will be fine." he tried to comfort her, still blowing warm breath to her icy hands.

"There's… no more pain?" Koreen swallowed.

"No. No more… I promise. It will be alright. I'm right here." Jon's voice was breaking, tears on the brink of falling.

"I'm so sorry…" Koreen cried. Her eyes wandered, as if searching for something out of her vision, her lids were heavy from crying.

"Please, Koreen…" Jon held her face, trying to pull her focus on him.

"I love you…" said Koreen through weak sobs. "Tell me you love me, too. Please… Robb…" She pleaded.

Jon's heart broke into pieces. He was never hopeful, he was used to painful truths.

Jon caressed her face, wiping her tears. "I love you, too." Jon spoke.

He saw a brief smile across Koreen's lips.

"Tell Jon… ask him to forgive me... please…" Jon's heart broke more.

Jon hushed her, "There's nothing to forgive. Believe me." Jon let his tears fall. He let them fall and he can see her clearer.

"D-don't cry for me, my lord… I'm free." Once more, she smiled.

Koreen weakly lifted her hand and cupped Jon's cheek. Jon's hand held hers tightly, trying to tell her not to let go. For a moment Jon closed his eyes, he let go more tears he had been fighting off. And the moment he opened his eyes, Koreen's were already shut, her smile gone.

"Koreen…" Jon whispered. He shook her.

And after a moment, kissed her forehead.

"Goodbye." Jon embraced her lifeless body tight.

He heard footsteps behind him, cracking the dried leaves on the ground. He only realized now that he and his brother were fighting Troy and Edris. Ferros was dead.

His father was still lying on the ground unconscious. He realized he barely cared. He fought. He was not as good as he hoped for. If he died right now, it would not matter. He looked onto his brother.

"Do not die yet, boy! I will wake your father, I will show him how I will kill your bastard brother. And then I will make you watch me kill your father! I am not yet done! You must not die yet!" Ferros screamed at Robb, appearing to Jon as if he was half dead.

He didn't realize that Robb's sword was in Troy's hand until he threw it away from his brother. Jon saw Edris smiling from ear to ear. Troy kicked Robb on his stomach as he was already lying on the ground.

Jon had no more energy. Until he realized where Troy was heading.

Ned's feet twitched, he was coming out of unconsciousness. Chill rushed to Jon's body quickly.

'Father… Robb…' he prayed.

Jon's hand bumped Koreen's bow, he searched for her arrows. He wanted to stand but could only manage to kneel.

He drew a deep breath as he aimed his first arrow and shot Troy on his back. Jon almost missed.

The big man was unfazed. He turned around and looked at Jon.

Jon scrambled to draw another arrow. Troy was already marching towards him, when Jon managed to aim and release another.

This time, Troy took an arrow on his stomach. The giant stopped and knelt, visibly hurt by that second shot. He spat blood and not a moment too soon, stood up, holding his black sword firmer on his hand.

When Jon drew another, he saw that he only had one last arrow. Jon's hands were shaking as he drew the arrow, and aimed.

Troy was a savage, screaming and running towards Jon. Jon's fear was evident against the darkness.

Jon drew a breath.

'Relax.' He heard Koreen's voice in his head.

Troy stopped. His arm dropped. Followed by his sword. He fell to his knees.

Jon's arrow shot through his left eye.

The arrow then pierced through his head when his body flopped face first to the ground.

Silence surrounded them.

He could barely see, he hardly heard anything when Robb stood, picked up a sword and charged Edris who was standing still, shocked at the turn of events.

Jon could not focus on his brother attacking Edris. He was so exhausted. He could barely look at Robb.

There was no sound. Or maybe he had gone deaf. All he saw was Edris standing firm on the ground. Robb stabbed his body through with a sword and pinned him against a tree. Robb left his sword pierced straight on Edris' body.

'Robb…' he whispered.

Jon looked at Koreen. His heart breaking for his brother.

After a moment, Robb reached Jon.

"Jon." He flinched when Robb tiredly approached him, holding his shoulder. Both were trying to catch their breaths. "Father…" it was an order.

Jon nodded. And stood up from the ground and turned his back on Robb and Koreen.

He heard Robb's quiet weeping as he walked towards their father. Worry rushed back to his body when he saw him still lying on the forest floor.

When he was near, Ned's hand gently moved. Jon rushed to get to him quicker. He kneeled beside him as his father stirred. Ned groaned for a moment.

Jon's tears fell as his father finally opened his eyes and scrambled to make himself aware of his surroundings.

"My lord…" Jon shuddered.

"Jon…" Ned said as he struggled to sit.

Jon shuddered as Ned spoke his name. He looked at Jon's face intently, cupping his face.

Jon saw worry and comfort all at the same time. Jon touched Ned's hand touching his face, he then closed his eyes. He let go of all his fears, his burdens, his tears. All this time…

"Father…" Jon cried. Finally, Jon resigned himself in Lord Stark's embrace.

"Jon." Her voice was familiar, but each time Lady Catelyn utter his name, it always felt foreign. It took it him out of his pondering.

Jon turned to the voice, disbelieving the fact that the lady was in fact in his chamber.

Catelyn cleared her throat, as if it was disgusted with his name.

"My lady," Jon looked around for something to offer Catelyn, something to sit on maybe. But his chamber was bare, containing only his bed and an old wardrobe. He felt embarrassed, but brushed off that sentiment "do you need anything from me?" he asked.

"Yes." She answered.

Jon was taken aback. For a moment he was scared. But soon realized that there was no point in being afraid of her now.

"You need not to go up here, my lady. The stairs are steep and the cold is brutal in here." Jon said.

Lady Catelyn briefly scanned the room. She let herself in more. She arranged her coat over her shoulder, she always hated the cold. Then her eyes were once again onto Jon.

"Thank you, Jon… I need to say it." She announced. Jon saw how sour it was in her mouth.

Jon was confused. He knew what she was thanking him for, but never did he imagine she was to stand in front of him for gratitude.

"My lady?" She was always gracious, courteous even to the servants, but never polite to him. Jon never demanded, never expected.

"Do not make me say it again, Snow." She warned.

"I did not do you any favor, my lady. There is no need for it." Jon confessed.

"You saved my son, my husband." Catelyn stated.

"That's not true. Robb may have exaggerated, my lady."

"You saved my life before, it was not hard to believe Robb's account." Jon did not expect Lady Catelyn to bring up that event on the cliff. He was never to speak of it again, and he didn't, not to anyone.

"You are my father's wife, Lord Stark is my father, Robb is my half-brother. Please trust that I would exchange my life for your family's if it comes to it."

Lady Stark glared at him more. "Why would you do that? You are not a Stark." She asked.

Jon stood straighter, trying to cure the pain of the fact rubbed to his face once more.

"I'm a Snow. I'm a bastard. I have nothing to look forward to, I've been told hundreds times over. Giving my life up for someone who would do greater things than I can ever hope for, I should find joy in that." Stoic, he faked not being offended by the fact, he faked being used to the reminder.

"I do not like the fact that I am indebted to you." Catelyn said after a moment.

"You're not." Jon quickly quipped.

"I am."

"Never will I be asking of anything in exchange of trying to keep my brother alive and unhurt." Jon said the truth. Catelyn seemed to believe it.

Jon thought he was seeing wrong when Catelyn looked down on the floor, seeming embarrassed. "I asked you to leave." She reminded him once she looked up at him.

Jon swallowed. "Yes, my lady. I did not forget."

"Stay then." Catelyn looked straight to his eyes. Jon could swear that he must be dreaming. "Robb was right. Ned would look for you if you leave Winterfell. I do not want to lose my husband." Catelyn said.

Jon considered the situation. He could have been glad. He should be glad, he thought. "I do not want to abuse my welcome. I do not want to be a burden to you anymore." Jon said, wary of the lady's suggestion.

"I was afraid you will get me wrong." Catelyn cleared her throat. "There is no place for you here, I trust you understand that." She said icily.

"Yes, my lady." Jon answered.

"I owe you. And for that I will give you a year or two at most."

"My lady?" Jon was more confused now.

"I will tolerate your presence for two more years, but no more than that. When that time comes, leave for the Wall." Jon stood stunned of Lady Catelyn's statement.

"The Wall?" Jon asked, although he was already sure of what he had heard.

"If honor's what you're looking for, you will find it there. The Night's Watch takes bastards, even murderers and rapers. Everyone has a chance for honor being on the watch." Lady Catelyn paused, trying to sense Jon's reaction. Jon stood, though his knees were already beginning to falter. "I'll see to it that you will be trained for combat. I'll have them train you well. There's always a Stark who takes the black. I can send Benjen a letter -"

"It is fine, my lady. There's no need to convince me." Jon intruded.

The thought of going to the wall would be petrifying for a boy his age. Imagining fighting off wildlings, white walkers and such along with hard criminals who had no other choice but to volunteer to take the black brought chills to Jon's body.

"I promise I will go to the Wall. I will ask Lord Stark myself if you prefer. I will tell him that it is my wish. I will make the letter myself before the sun is down. I will give it to you later to make sure it is sent to Uncle Benjen." Jon said simply.

An awkward silence rested between them.

Lady Catelyn cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "This doesn't change anything, Snow." She whispered, adding chill to the room.

"I understand. I will stay clear of your sight as much as I can. I will no longer demand acceptance from you. I will eat at the servant's table, rest here in my chamber, do as you command, protect your children, give my life if I must. Nothing will change, trust me. Except that I am to leave Winterfell. I shall do my best in training so I can be on my way as soon as I can. It is clear to me, my lady."

"Very well then." Her stern look made Jon's knees thaw.

Jon expected that his agreement would bring a faint joy in the lady. He tried to quickly understand his situation, it was not like he had anything more to look forward to in his life. In fact, her offer was generous.

"Lady Stark?" Jon summed up all the remaining courage when he call the lady who was about to turn her back on him.

"What is it?" she asked flatly, her back still on him.

"Do you know-" he was reluctant to ask. But Jon thought this might be the only chance he would get to speak with her.

She turned. "Do l know what?"

"M-my mother. Do you know her name?" Jon was not hopeful.

Lady Catelyn's brows furrowed, Jon swallowed. He knew she was going to be angry at the question. Reminding Catelyn that there was another woman who was bedded by her husband was comparable to walking on thin layer of ice.

"Why on seven hells would you think I know who your mother is?" Catelyn's stare was almost piercing.

Jon looked at her feet, embarrassed that he queried about something no one even spoke of for obvious reasons.

"Sometimes when I get to thinking, when I try to convince myself to understand you, to forgive you, I tell myself that perhaps you know who she is." Jon slowly raised his eyes, tried to look at Catelyn's eyes, "It might be the reason why you are angry at me so. Perhaps that would explain why you hurt me. Maybe you hate her even before I was born. And that it's possible that you knew her. Nobody would tell me who she is or was, not even Father." Jon realized his mistake immediately. "I'm sorry, I meant Lord Stark."

Jon expected nothing more than a sneer. Maybe she would even hit him for asking. He saw anger in the lady's eyes. But then he had gambled. He had to.

"No. No, I don't, Snow." That was enough for him. But he took his chance.

"If you knew, would you tell me?" he tried once more to push his luck.

"Yes." Lady quickly answered. "I imagine I would. I would remind you every day how your mother disrespected my family and my honor when she conceived you. I will tell you every day how much of a whore I think she is or was. I pray to the Gods she's dead, if you must know. I must not, but I do." her words were cutting him, but it did not hurt. "I do not know who your mother is Jon." She answered.

Jon was afraid that it would hurt him. But after all these years he had at last surrendered. He gave up blindly loving a mother he only knew in his imagination. He had loved a mother who was standing in front of him now, but his efforts were futile. He thought it would hurt, but it did not anymore.

"Thank you, my lady." He bowed to her. "Will there be anything else you need me to do?" he asked.

Lady Catelyn stared at him, coldly, as if it was the last time. She did not answer. Instead she quietly turned around on him, and went.

Jon could hear her footstep, growing faintly in to the distance. He stood there in front of his window. He thought of the Wall.

'There is honor in taking the black.' He could still hear Lady Catelyn's words.

He looked on the horizon, he imagined how far of a travel it would be.

Jon then turned to his bed, he knelt and closed his eyes.

"For father's safety… For peace in Winterfell…" he whispered to the air. After a moment of thought, he opened his eyes. "For my future…" he prayed.

It did not take him two years. He was not sure he was ready. He constantly convinced himself he was. The day had finally arrived. He wished this day came in different circumstance, but then this time was it.

The King gave the Starks a visit offering his father a position in the castle.

And now, his father and two sisters were to move to King's Landing, Lord Stark was to serve the Robert Baratheon as the Hand of the King.

Robb was to stay and protect Winterfell. He would never leave his mother, especially at this time when Bran's life fell into complete halt.

His heart broke yet again when he said his goodbye to Bran. Lady Stark never left his little son's side, but there was no more time for Jon. He recalled what Lady Stark said. 'It should have been you.' Lady Starks last attempt to hurt him. But he went out of Bran's chamber without showing his pain. He settled with the fact that those words were his step mother's last words to him. It must not hurt him. Lady Stark was hurting, more than he will ever be hurt by her.

Jon had said his goodbye to Arya. He smiled as he recalled her reaction to his parting gift. Oh, how much he will miss Arya. He still could feel her warm embrace.

"Jon!" Robb called as he approached him at the gates. Jon faced his brother and gave him a smile. "Uncle Benjen was searching for you." Robb continued.

"I just needed to say goodbye to one more person." Jon said.

"And my mother?" he asked Jon when he caught on him and gave him a smile.

"She was too kind." Jon smiled back.

Jon finished preparing his horse, finally facing his older brother.

"The next time we see each other, you'll be all in black." Robb said,0 smiling admiringly at his brother.

"Take care, Stark." Jon bid.

"Farewell, Snow." Robb said.

And they both gave each other a tight embrace. Robb patted Jon's shoulder before he started to walk.

"Oh, Jon!" Jon looked over his shoulder. "What would I say to Uncle Benjen, if we cross paths?" he shouted.

"Tell him," Jon breathed. "it's about a girl!" he shouted back. They both smiled , Jon chuckled at his own retort.

When he was sure all his belongings are packed, he slipped through the thick crowd preparing to leave Winterfell.

It was not a long hike. The tree on the cliff, underneath it was a small blanket of flowers. He helped tend it. Flowers of different kinds and colors hardly flourished in Winterfell. Yet Jon was able to care for the garden, and it was a sight to behold.

He knelt before them, his eyes followed small butterflies that took refuge in the colors.

"I just came to say goodbye, once more. Maybe it's the last time." Jon said to the flowers. "I will go to the Wall. I will think of you when I get there. I will see your side of the wall, Koreen." Jon let a smile. "I miss you. I miss you so much, Koreen." Jon sighed. Day after day, he forgets a little more how Koreen looked like, frustrating him.

"Do me a favor, watch over Robb. Guide him so he won't burn Winterfell to the ground." he found it funny that he was humoring plants.

"I must go. I must go and make something of my life. I will pray you help me find what I am looking for." he drew a breath. "Goodbye."

Jon turned his back and marched away from where Robb had buried a part of Koreen's ashes. No other people knew of the place. Just him and Robb.

Koreen's ashes were scattered in the river, to free her.

Robb opted to bury portion of ashes in Winterfell, to finally give her a home.

His direwolf, Ghost ran to him and nuzzle its nose on his legs. Jon bent to give Ghost a pat. He stood and started to walk, his direwolf never leaving his side.

When they reached the gates, he mounted his horse. He rode beside his father as they left Winterfell. Savoring the their last time minutes together. Gods knw, how long before they would see each other again.

At the crossroad where their procession was to separate Ned halted. So did Jon.

Ned looked at Jon.

"There's always a Stark in the Night's Watch. There is honor in taking the black." Ned said.

Jon have heard that countless times since Catelyn told him to leave for the Wall. But this was the first time Lord Stark said them to him.

"Who is my mother? Is she still alive? Does she know about me, where I'm going? Does she care?" Jon could not remember the last time he asked his father about his mother. And after that day with with the Lady he barely thought of her any longer.

"The next time we see each other, we will talk about you mother. I promise, hm?" Ned said to Jon. He was looking at Jon as if he was trying to convince him to believe his promise to him.

Jon thought of getting angry at himself, Ned was ready to tell him. But this was no place for it, they both had no more time. But there was hope, that soon enough he would know.

Jon nodded. He always trusted his father's promise. He already waited all his life, he realized a few more years would not hurt. Then they separated.

Jon looked over his shoulder as their horses galloped away from each other.

He imagined what the Wall looked like, how cold it would be, the quiet, the height, the brothers.

Jon was scared, but also anxious. And for the last time, he stared at Winterfell.

Finally, he accepted the fact that he was never coming back.

The End.