1. Serenade
Nikolai promises to sing outside of her window every night until she relents; Alina realizes the relenting is because he can't carry a tune to save his life.
2. Dreams and Nightmares
They suffer alone, night after night, until they end up sharing the same bed; it doesn't stop the nightmares, but at least they know there is someone to hold them when they're awake now.
3. Time
"In time," he murmurs, holding her hand tightly in his gloved one, "you'll want me as fiercely as you wanted them."
4. You, Me, and the Car Crash
It's years before Alina can look at the remains of a skiff in what was once a barren wasteland, but she finds that her heart doesn't ache as much as it used to.
5. Restlessness
She's draped in more fabric than she even knows what to do with, hating every bit of the wedding dress and the way it inhibits her from pacing; she suspects that it's Nikolai's way of keeping her from running.
6. Things You Need To Know
"What use is a queen who can't summon?" Alina asks Nikolai the third time he asks her to marry him.
7. Golden
Sunlight reflects off Nikolai like he was born to stand in its golden rays, and it's perhaps the first time since she's lost her summoning that she realizes she's had a piece of light this entire time.
8. Wilderness
Their darkness is vast and personal, but it's Alina who takes the first step into exploring Nikolai's; it surprises them both.
9. Masquerade
"You know that wearing a fox mask is not actually that clever, don't you?"
10. Space
She tells him she needs space, and Nikolai wants to respect that, but he also doesn't know what to do with the emptiness that threatens to swallow him whole without her nearby.
11. A Careful Deception
"I'm not going to be thinking of him," she lies as her mouth hovers over his, and maybe it's not a very good one, but Nikolai still kisses her.
12. Genius
"I don't care that you can't summon, and if you're that worried about my need to secure an alliance of power, you know that we can still tell the people that you're a saint," Nikolai reasons breezily, as though he knows every excuse she could come up with.
13. Oracle
He tells her that he once met a woman who could see the future in the lines of his hand, and when she asks him what it is that was seen, he gives her a little smirk and says that he was told he would father many children.
14. The Snows of Winter
She might not be Grisha anymore, but she hasn't forgotten her combat training; Nikolai, on the other hand, learns very quickly that she's still a soldier when she dumps him into a snowbank.
15. Strays
They all suspected that it would be Alina who wanders off now and then, but it's Nikolai the tsaritsa chases after and herds back home.
16. Long-Distance
He courts her, even when she goes to Keramzin for a couple of years to rebuild what was once lost.
17. Definite Borders
He asks her about the Darkling once, early on, and in her anger, she asks about the blood on his mouth; they don't talk for two months following the incident that Zoya fondly calls the Frost in Summer.
18. Blood
Mal's blood is still on her hands when Nikolai takes her face between his palms and forces her to get off the ground.
19. Sparks
His mouth is hot on hers, and it feels like several lifetimes since she's felt the sparks of desire wind their way through her body.
20. Hearsay
The newest rumors from Nikolai's political enemies are that Alina sacrifices children in the hopes of regaining her power, that's why she visits the orphanage so often; when Alina tells him this in a huff, he laughs so hard that he falls off of his chair.
21. Runaways
She asks him once if he'd give up his throne for her, but they both know he's lying when he weaves a daring tale of a runaway prince and his bride.
22. Apology
"I'm not fit for this," Alina tells him as she stuffs old clothes into a bag, and Nikolai merely watches her because they both know she's not going to go far.
23. Chains
When Nikolai offers her the emerald again (she's lost count at eight times), she finally sees that it's not meant to chain her to him so much as to accept the position next to him.
24. Ashes
Her hands are covered in the remains that was once the only home she ever had, and it seems fitting that they coat the same hands that had been covered in Mal's blood, that had drove the knife into Aleksander's chest, that wished for Nikolai's hands in hers.
25. The Prince
Alina knows absolutely that she is in love with Nikolai when she comes up on him with Misha, the word tsarevich on his lips as he lays a gloved hand on the young man's shoulder and squeezes it.
26. Decoder Ring
Zoya sniffs at the sight of the emerald on Alina's hand, "You just couldn't let me wind him around my finger just as easily, could you?"
27. Revenge
Alina doesn't get the last laugh as Nikolai grabs her wrist too quick for her to dance away and drags her into the snow next to him, packing it into the places where her skin is exposed.
28. The Guiding Hand
She peels his gloves off on their wedding night, kissing every scar before she guides those hands to her body.
29. Sensitivity
"If you keep bruising my ego like that, Alina, you might find that the handsome devil you married will be no more," he whines at her one night while she rolls her eyes.
30. Chinese Whispers
Genya finds it hilarious to tell Alina every little story that makes its way to the Little Palace and the way her face grows darker with each new rumor.
31. Fading Twilight
They're watching the sun reflect off of the lake, his arms around her waist, his chin on her shoulder as she rests her hands over his and whispers into the fading light, "I'm pregnant."
32. Show and Tell
It's become customary that with each new gray hair that streaks through his head, she has to point out the crow's feet at the corner of her eyes.
33. Whoops!
The sixth time he proposes, she knocks the ring out of his hand; it takes a week before the servants can find it.
34. Phoenix
When he comes to the orphanage, he doesn't come as Nikolai Lantsov, but as Sturmhond; the woman formerly known as Sankta greets this resurrection much more warmly.
35. Human Remedy
It'd be easier, she thinks, to have a doctor look in on him, but Nikolai refuses treatment from anyone but Alina (it's the fourth time he proposes).
36. The First
Her name is Nika Lantsov, born with her father's looks but her mother's practicality (much to Alina's relief at the idea of being surrounded by a clan of foxes).
37. Abroad
Alina holds tight to Nikolai's latest creation, dread mingling with wonder as they fly over Shu Han like it's nothing.
38. Ring
She plants a circle of flowers around the stump where a tree once stood tall - a different color for each body that had swayed on its branches - in each hole that Nikolai has dug for her.
39. The Ends of the Earth
It takes Nikolai only a couple of years to realize how far he'd go for Alina, and it has nothing at all to do with either political movements or the selfish desire to not be alone.
40. Belief Unwavering
His head rests in her lap as he stares up at her, memorizing the lines of her face and the way her white hair curls around her ears, and he tells her that he never believed that she wouldn't have found the strength to save him from the darkness.
41. Hatred
He asks if she hates the Darkling, and she whispers that she can't, even if she wants to.
42. Fragile
It's the first time he's able to bring him up without her storming out on him.
43. Lonely
And he asks her why she stayed when she didn't want to be with him, but he already knows what she'll say when her lips form Mal's name.
44. Sunshine
They name their second child Malyen and watch as his chubby fingers bat through the beams of light streaming into the nursery with bated breath and old fears.
45. Foolish
Genya rolls her eyes at Alina when she finds her friend hiding out in the library and tells her exactly how she feels about her running out on Nikolai's proposal.
46. Dancing
"It's been ten years, and I still can't get the hang of this," Alina mutters as she steps on Nikolai's foot for the fifth time that night.
47. Star Counting
They're on a mission when Nikolai pulls her away from the tents and soldiers to lie back in a field with itchy grass, her head on his chest as they make up stories about the stars they see; Nikolai is far better at this game than she is.
48. Sand Dune
There are times when she dreams of an endless desert, the voices of the dead squeezing tightly around her, and when Nikolai wakes her up, she cries into his shoulder and tries to ignore the sound of Aleksander in her ears and Mal on her skin.
49. Bones
He tells her once that he can't get the sound of bones cracking out of his head and the taste of marrow on his tongue; without him knowing, Alina makes sure to tell every chef that if they ever mistakenly leave a bone in the king's meat, they will answer to her.
50. A Curious Incident
"I love you," she whispers into his ear one night when she thinks he's asleep, and she's surprised when he pulls her closer and finally presses his lips to her neck to whisper, "I know," into her skin.