* Special thanks to all these lovely people while I was gone they gave me encouragement to write and so nice! You should thank them: I'm Selfless. I'm Brave and bankhead56. And as always, please please please go check out the amazing and wonderful Purplemockingjay4!

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Chapter 19: Tris POV- Tuesday October 28th

A common saying: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

That saying is complete bullshit.

Did life give you a container? No. What about some water and sugar, maybe a knife to cut open the lemons? Nope, all you get is some sour lemons. Lemons that, if you decide to peel, will leak and the citric acid will seep into your already open sores making everything ten times more painful.

I'm not ready to face Evelyn. I can't. What would I even say? Hey, even though you kicked me out I would like to sit down and talk about our problems.

Four is the only person I want to talk to right now, but he doesn't want to talk to me, which is completely understandable. I know all of his deepest, darkest secrets. And I never got his permission to hear them.

I'm brought back from my thoughts when a car horn starts blaring, urging me to go forward. A man, who looks to be in his mid-to-late 30s, races past me when I drive far enough forward making unpleasant hand gestures out the window which I'm guessing are directed towards me. I wonder where he is going. He has a nice car, a Mercedes, and from the looks of things is wearing a suit. He could be a common jackass businessman, or he could be unhappy with his life. Which causes him to take it out on other people whether he realizes it or not.

The scenery outside starts to change from heavily industrialized to a clean scenery. A place that looks more welcoming, innocent. The last time I was here was exactly four months ago. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. My parents' death, my brother leaving, me turning into an alcoholic, Four, finding out Four is the Tobias, but there is also good things. My relationship with Christina being stronger than ever, reuniting with an old friends, making new ones, getting a new little niece or nephew, and lastly, my growing affection for a man with blue eyes.

I finally reach my destination and pull into the gravel, leaving a dust cloud behind me. Thankfully, I don't see anyone here. There is a big possibility that I will break down, I don't want anyone to see that.

Deep breathes, Tris. You can do this.

I take my keys out of the ignition and sit for a moment to try and calm myself down. You can do this.

I grab the flowers out of the passengers seat and take a deep breath of their scent.

Tulips. Yellow tulips to be exact. Both my mother and father's favorite flower. The scent calms me. Reminds me of home. We always had a vase of them in our kitchen no matter what.

I'm certain the ones lying on the grave now are wilted. That's why I am, to replace them.

I finally get out of my car and start making my way towards the resting place of my parents. Maybe this will make me feel slightly better. I've been avoiding coming here, afraid of breaking down again, but maybe this is what I need. I can tell them goodbye. Even though they are not living it still counts as something, it has to. As someone told me before, I need to learn how to be free of my fears.

As a pass all the other graves I notice that very few graves have fresh flowers. Have they been forgotten? Or are their loved ones to afraid to come here as I have been? I want to say it's the latter, but deep down I know it's not.

My anxiety increases by ten each step I take. I can't explain the feeling. Grief mixed with guilt and a slight eeriness.

I can see their headstone now. A small, simple, gray headstone with only Natalie and Andrew Prior engraved onto it sits in the near distance. I don't notice I am biting my fingernails until pain starts radiating from my fingertip. Come on, deep breathes, Tris. Deep breathes.

I cautiously near the grave, careful not to step on it. Listening to the crunch of the frozen grass beneath my feet. The tulips that I set here four months ago lay dead with a layer of frost in the built in vase. I carefully lean over and take the crumpling flowers from the vase and replace them with the new ones. I sit down to the left of the grave with the dead flowers in my lap.

"Hi." Deep breathes. "I, um, don't really know what to say. I brought some new flowers. The old ones were wilted. I, I miss you guys, so much. Sometimes it gets really hard to just even get out the bed. So many things have happened since you've been gone." One tear. "Caleb, he-he's going to be a dad. I guess Mom won the bet that Susan would get pregnant before they got married." I let out a pitiful laugh.

"If it really is possible that you can see me I met someone. He's really great. Things didn't get to go to far though. Lots of things happened an-and I don't know where we stand." Second tear. "But," I wipe my face with my jacket sleeve, "it's okay. He's been through a lot stuff and he needs to deal with it before we could start a serious relationship. I don't know if you remember her, but my boss, Evelyn, she took me in. Though I'm not there anymore. I think I'm going to quit my job. I know what you're thinking 'Six years of college and you're going to quit?!' but I guess I only wanted to become a lawyer to make you guys happy." Third tear. Fourth tear. "I'm sorry." I sob out. "I just wanted you both to be proud of me even though you always were. I, I was stupid and should've just accepted the fact that I wasn't meant to be a lawyer an-and just-" Uncountable tears.

"I'm so stupid!" I furiously wipe the oncoming stream of tears of my face. I fling my body back so I am now lying on my back looking up at the sky. "I miss you," I whisper out. I let silent tears fall down my face as I stare into the sky watching my breath travel farther and farther up.

"I miss you, but its time for me to move forward. I love you both. So much," I say into the sky hoping that someway, somehow they can hear me. The exhausting emotions get the best of me and I fall asleep watching the clouds slowly float by.

"Warmed…clothes…pneumonia!" I hear panicked voices say. I fell like they are yelling, but there voices sound so far away. I fell like I am being jostled around, but I cant open my eyes to see.

"She's…friend…let…please…TRIS!" Is all I hear before I succumb to darkness again.