Zuko sat across the table from Sokka, the remnants of their dinner pushed to the side, weapons laid out between them. Zuko looked appreciatively at his hoard: two dao and three daggers. Sokka's sword, club, boomerang, and dagger didn't seem quite as impressive. Well, maybe his space sword, but he wouldn't ever tell Sokka that.

"Boys, can you not have your weapons on the table," Hakoda called from across the room.

"Oh, come on, dad. We've got to settle this."

The sun was just starting its descent, and a pleasant golden light shone through the windows of the Jasmine Dragon in Ba Sing Se. They'd all gathered for Iroh's grand re-opening a year and a half after the end of the war. Zuko had resisted coming at first, saying there was too much to be done at home, that tensions were still too high, that there was still too much hate aimed at him. Iroh had pleaded, said it was only for a few days by airship and that Zuko absolutely needed to learn how to make more than just hot leaf juice. Finally, he'd relented, and he was incredibly glad he did.

Zuko smiled as his uncle and Katara went around collecting dirty dishes from the tables. It was especially nice to see her. Zuko was still a little confused about where they stood after everything they'd done and been for each other during the war. All the secret sharing, the sparring, the hugging, the kissing… During the war, they'd found time to be more than just friends, and during that final battle, Zuko had put everything on the line for her. He hadn't expected to survive, but so long as he protected her, so long as she continued to live, he hadn't cared.

"Give it up, dad," Katara said as she stopped by their table. "I've been trying to get them to shut up about it since Ember Island. It doesn't work."

Hakoda chuckled to himself, shaking his head and going back to his tea. Zuko stood to help Katara, gathering his and Sokka's dishes, and when she smiled at him, his heart leapt. He would never be able to get enough of such a beautiful smile. He always felt at ease when she was near, and he'd missed her presence sorely. He walked with her back to kitchen, and immediately wanted to kick his uncle, because when he saw them, Iroh smiled slyly, made some excuse, and then returned to the main dining room.

"I hope you're not trying to dodge this because you've realized how inefficient your two swords are!" Sokka called.

"Seriously," Katara said, affectionately. "The two of you."

Then they stood in silence. Hesitantly, Zuko reached out to her, wanting to just touch her, but he stopped himself. After his coronation, when everyone was preparing to leave, they'd found one last moment of privacy, and in it, his heart had been shattered. Despite all their whispered words, despite how they felt, they knew it would never work between them. They'd agreed that they couldn't continue what they started. They had a brief interlude of happiness, but now it needed to be pushed away. No one else could know. They didn't need pity. Yet in their letters, there was still a desperate need for the physical and emotional closeness they'd shared. Zuko stepped back, further into the darkness of the unlit kitchen.

"How's your chest?" She asked finally.

Zuko shrugged, trying not to notice the light blush on her cheeks. He rubbed at his scar. He swore it itched whenever she was near.

"It's ok. The palace healers do their best."

The silence between them was awkward, but all Zuko wanted to do was pull her against him, breathe in the scent of her, kiss her, touch her… He stepped further back, not trusting himself.

"I… I should get back. Sokka and I…"

There was the lightest touch on his hand, like an electric shock, and he jumped. She had that power over him. She made him want to be so many different things for her, and whenever he saw her, he wanted to fight against all the people who blamed him for the war, or for the lives lost, he wanted to fight against those who called him a stain on the Fire Nations history and those who tried to kill him. He wanted to fight the world if it meant that, at the end, she could stand by his side for the rest of his life. But those were silly fantasies of a lovesick seventeen year old. They'd been through this already. It couldn't happen.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"Zuko, please," Katara said, turning toward the door. Turning her back to him. "Seeing you is hard enough I… We promised…"

Zuko stepped up behind her putting his hand on her shoulder and slowly, lightly trailing his fingers down her arm until he was holding her hand. He expected her to move away, and he steeled himself against that moment, but she didn't. She hesitated briefly, squeezing his hand before making an excuse and returning to the dining room. When she was gone, he felt colder, more alone, more isolated and without support than he'd been before. With a deep breath, Zuko tried to force away the hurt and empty his mind like he did before going to difficult council meetings, and pushed through the doors and into the dining room.

"Took you long enough," Sokka said as he sat down. "What did the two of you talk about? Katara seemed a little upset."

"Stuff. I don't know." Zuko shrugged, his eyes zeroing in on the blue at the table with Suki and Toph.

The stress was starting to return. Zuko could feel it settling right between his shoulder blades again. He didn't like Sokka watching him. He didn't like his uncle looking in his direction as he and Hakoda passed, heading to one of the store rooms. He didn't like Toph shifting around like that. He didn't like anything.

"Yeah. Sure," Sokka said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What's 'stuff, I don't know' supposed to mean? Come on, inquiring minds and all."

"Suki's right, you know," Zuko said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "You're so nosy."

"And you're always so weighed down. By secrets and weapons. I mean, look at this!" Sokka gestured dramatically at Zuko's weapons, masterfully shifting the conversation. "You don't even have enough hands for all of that."

"Are you kidding? Are you honestly going to tell me that if someone's coming at you from behind, you're not going to reach for a dagger?"

"Of course I am. Sword and dagger is completely different from two swords, though."

"Yeah, it's way less efficient."

This was one of the reasons Zuko liked Sokka so much. The Water Tribe siblings always seemed so attuned to the emotions of their friends. The abrupt change in subject had shifted Zuko's attention away from the deep pain in his chest and made him release a little tension. He forced himself to stop looking at Katara's back, forced his mind to focus on this conversation, to finally, once and for all, get Sokka to admit that if he was going to sword and dagger it, he might as well just use two swords. It wasn't like he had to draw them both at the same time.

"Where's Twinkletoes?" Toph asked, rolling a pebble around the table. "He's been gone for hours."

She'd been teaching Suki a game she'd learned from some criminals in the Fire Nation. Zuko frowned. He should really talk to Toph about that.

"He went to the zoo," Suki said absently, studying the board between them. "He's probably trying to adopt some animals."

Sokka was saying something to him, probably about how his stupid space sword was better, but Zuko's mind was starting to wander off again. He rubbed at his scar. It was itching a lot lately, and every time it itched, it made him think about Katara.

"You've been doing that a lot," Sokka said. "Want me to get Katara to heal—"

"No," Zuko answered, perhaps much too quickly.

"Hey, don't bite my head off—"

"I'm back!"

The door flew open with a great gust of wind, and there was Aang, his arms wide and his face triumphant, and much to everyone's relief, he was without a hundred animals. Still, Zuko felt a little uneasy. Aang was just a little too happy, a little too satisfied. No good things were going to come from this.

"You won't believe who I found!"

Aang stepped to the side as Toph's face dropped and she muttered "you found trouble" under her breath even before they could see anybody, and the look she cast him set Zuko's nerves on edge. Zuko braced himself, already feeling on edge because he knew that guy. That stupid idiot who would have turned them in to Ba Sing Se's police. That fool, who would have ruined everything when he and uncle were just trying to stay out of everyone's way. Things were finally starting to settle down for them, and then he came along, chewing his stupid wheat stalk and trying to out them as firebenders.

"Jet!"

Sokka was out of his chair first, disbelief in his voice as he took two hesitant steps forward, but Katara practically flew out of her chair, and a stupid irrational anger surged in the pit of Zuko's stomach because he really, really disliked Jet, and yet here was Katara, pure relief and excitement in her voice, rushing toward him. She threw her arms around his neck, and Jet laughed as he hugged her, lifting her off the ground. There was a very loud voice in his head that kept chanting 'do it,' and the rational, responsible part of his brain was telling him to sit down or to walk to another room, to count to ten, anything to squash the anger. He was barely conscious of his hand moving closer to his sword as his friends turned to Jet with a thousand questions about what happened and how he survived Lake Laogai.

None of that mattered to Zuko. He tried to focus on his breathing and calm himself because Jet was putting Katara down, but his hands were on her hips, and something inside of him was breaking and it hurt because she had just hugged him that way when he arrived the day before. Only he hadn't been allowed to put his hands on her hips. And he certainly, absolutely had not been allowed to kiss her and off to his left, he there was a loud whoosh and a blur of movement, and distantly, he could hear his uncle's voice calling him. He remembered the way Jet had spewed the word firebender like it was the worse curse you could put on someone.

Then Jet pulled his dirty, filthy, unworthy mouth away from Katara, and noticed him.

"You," Jet yelled.

He shoved Katara behind him protectively, shielding her with his body as if Zuko would ever harm a hair on her, as if Zuko hadn't given his life for her, and he felt his control slipping just a little more.

"Newphew!" Iroh's voice made a dent in the haze that was Zuko's mind.

Restraint. He needed restraint. But it was so hard.

"I told them you were a firebender! I told them, and no one believed me."

"We were minding our own business," Zuko spat, his voice dangerously low. "We weren't hurting anybody—"

"Not hurting anybody? You almost got me killed. I could have died, and it would have been your fault!"

"Hey, wait a minute, that isn't fair—"

"Stay out of this, Aang," Zuko said dangerously, his hand closing around his sword.

Everyone was frozen, just on the edge of action, and Zuko's breath came quicker because he'd had enough, absolutely enough of people telling him that he was at fault for things he had nothing to do with. It was far easier to blame him, to turn their anger toward the Fire Nation than it was for them to work toward recovery. No one wanted to be held accountable for the terrible things they did during the war, but they were all too willing to blame him. Zuko was forced to sit there and take it, but he would be damned if he took anything from Jet.

"Of all the people in the Fire Nation that I'd find hanging out with the Avatar… It's you, the worst Fire Nation scum of all."

Zuko lost control over his body.

The fire was a tempest in the pit of his stomach and he exhaled steam from his nose as Katara moved, shoving Jet to the side and ripping water from somewhere because there were three globes of it hurtling toward him. They slapped into his face, covering his mouth and knocking him back as the cold almost burned him when the water solidified into ice. Jet stood, stunned, and Zuko had a smug moment of satisfaction, feeling the dark part of himself rising to the surface and taking control and doing his best to fight it because he didn't want to be that person. He'd been there before and had seen what it would do to him. Even still, there was such unresolved, barely contained hurt and anger inside of him, and he wasn't aware of what he was doing until he felt Iroh grab his hand and the power flow through his arm, and Iroh turned, redirecting the lighting out of the window and into a tree outside.

That set everyone into motion, and Zuko was kneed in the back, disarmed, and slammed painfully down on the floor, as Suki rushed toward Jet, knocking his arm down as he reached for his swords, and Hakoda was there, slamming the kid against the wall, twisting his arm, and Aang and Toph were standing in the middle, blocking Jet from his view, ready to end things should either boy move. The anger and rage was still boiling in Zuko, and now shame was flooding in because he knew what he'd done. Shame because he'd done what he promised himself he'd never do. He could see the disappointment in Aang's face, the sadness that his friend would stoop so low, but how could Aang even begin to understand what he'd been going through? What right did any of them have to judge him? He could shame himself enough. Slowly, Zuko melted the ice around his mouth, flat out refusing to look at Katara.

"What're you restraining me for?" Jet barked, grunting against the pain of his twisted shoulder, his face pressed against the stone wall. "Did you see what he tried to do to me? Killing me once wasn't enough for the Fire Nation, was it?"

"That is enough!" Iroh barked, bringing everything to order. "We are not directly responsible for what happened to you. Direct your anger at Long Feng and the Dai Li, not the Fire Nation."

"Let's not forget that you provoked this whole incident," Hakoda said, twisting Jet's arm even more.

"Let me up, Sokka," Zuko said, feeling completely drained, the tempest inside him calming. "I need to get out of here."

"Good idea."

Sokka moved, and Zuko stood, looking everywhere but at the faces staring at him. He didn't want to see them look at him with confusion and questions. He didn't want to see the disappointment that would be in their eyes. Zuko knew he was doing the same thing as Jet; he truly disliked Jet for nearly ruining what was becoming a peaceful existence for him and Iroh, but Jet had nothing to do with the anger the rest of the world was dumping on him. He had no right to put that on Jet.

"I get it—"

"No, Sokka, you don't," Zuko said, brushing off his friend's comfort.

At the door, Katara called to him, her voice soft and insistent, her hand reaching out to him. He started to turn and look at her, but all that filled his mind was the way she was in Jet's arms, how she didn't push away from him. That part of his mind that insisted that he wasn't good enough told him that what they'd shared for a few weeks, every secret, every touch, meant nothing. His scar itched, and he rubbed at it as he went out of his way to dodge Katara's hand. He pretended he didn't hear her sharp intake of breath, his name a half formed whisper.

Outside, the air was cooler, and Zuko took in deep breaths. When he breathed out, it was a long, shaky breath.

"Are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me about you and Katara?"

Zuko turned to look at Sokka. He didn't seem upset. Just…curious. When Zuko hesitated, Sokka raised an eyebrow, and for a moment, Zuko considered telling him everything, because maybe he'd interpreted things wrong. Maybe it was just the odds that made her confide in him things she'd never told anyone else. He'd offered her listening without judgment and he'd offered her understanding. He'd challenged her and pushed her to be better. When she couldn't sleep, she sought him out. She's shared his bed. She'd…

"And don't tell me that she brought you back to life, either. I know that. I was there. I saw." Sokka took a deep breath. "I hate to admit it sometimes, but Katara's a special girl. If—"

"We're good friends, Sokka," Zuko said curtly. "We work well together. We've told each other things we wouldn't tell anyone else. But Jet… For the past year, I've heard those things almost every day. Everything is my fault. Everyone wants to throw blame around, but no one is willing to work to fix what's wrong. I can't do it all by myself, and I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of being the bad guy."

"I know it's a struggle," Sokka said, putting his arm around Zuko's shoulder and leading him down the street. "Peace isn't going to be easy, and I don't think any of us had a clue about just how hard this would be. But you know we've got your back. We always will."

He didn't question Sokka's loyalty and commitment, though. The nagging in the back of his head said that maybe he'd been a fool all along. Zuko absently rubbed his scar. His uncle called it stepping to the edge of the cliff. Trust in yourself, he would say, and even when you are blindfolded and cannot see where you step, your heart and your mind and your spirit will guide you down the right path. In one tiny, miniscule part of his life, Zuko had finally allowed himself to do just that: to step on the path blindfolded and just trust that what he'd shared with Katara, the thing he refused to call love, had been right.

Only now, with the blindfold removed, did it seem that he'd just fallen off the edge of the cliff.

A/N: So, this story ended up being much more massive than I'd intended it to be, but I have to say, I'm pleased with it. I kinda like the idea of Jet not being dead so that I can use him strategically where I see fit. Also, out of all the people in the show, I don't know why it had to be Jet who died, and it sort of felt...I don't know, at odds with a lot of what was going on in the show. Anywho, while Jet may have decided to stop trying to turn in the Fire Nation, I don't ever see him and Zuko becoming friends. Here, I imagine his anger being more personal. Though he may have painted broad strokes about the Fire Nation, all of it is aimed at Zuko. He got arrested by the Dai Li after their awesome Tea Shot Tabletop Showdown. And since Zuko's going through some frustrations with the FN, that kid of bled over.

This is also still in the beginning of his and Katara's relationship, so they aren't sure what they are to each other outside of Ember Island, or what they can be to each other. Also, some Zuko/Sokka bro moments because they're besties for life. Hope you guys enjoyed!