A/N I know the drugs used in this chapter might not do what I've written that they do. Please suspend disbelief. I'm sure there's a combo which would have worked, but I spent hours wading through information to try to find the right combo and this was my best guess before I discovered T leaves the system faster than I thought. Hope it doesn't spoil anything for you. ;-)

Chapter Sevem

This is Me

Gibbs led his two male agents into the Interrogation room, silently pointing out the mess that had been left the morning before when they'd tag-teamed the suspect and gotten a confession. They were bickering, and Gibbs was struggling not to slap them both. He was tired from the night out with Tim, and upset at how rough everything had gotten at his house. He'd seen the bruises and bite marks on McGee's pale skin, although the sweet person he was, he'd thanked Gibbs. Thanked him! He had to make the man exert some backbone, he could have really hurt him last night, and, like an abused dog, he'd just come crawling back for more. He needed to stand up for himself, to stop taking shit from people, like Tony -

" - junior agent, it's your responsibility, Probie."

"You are the last person I'm gonna learn personal responsibility from, Tony!"

DiNozzo's hand darted out and gave the back of Tim's head a resounding slap, and Gibbs was moving before he could think, his coffee dropping from his hand to dump on its side and begin to glug out.

"Don't you touch him!" Gibbs snarled. DiNozzo looked over in surprise just in time to see Gibbs' quick approach. Next Tony knew, he was up against the wall with Gibbs' forearm ready to crush his windpipe. McGee froze at the attack. "If you touch him again, I will kill you, you hear me?" The low voice was chilling. Tony had heard it before and knew he was in mortal danger. There was a coldness in Gibbs' eyes that he'd never seen directed at him before.

Tim finally moved, broken from his stunned paralysis by the tone of Gibbs' voice. Suddenly he knew with total clarity that something was terribly wrong with his lover and boss. And he was the only one with any chance to do anything about it. He walked heavily toward Gibbs and DiNozzo, making sure his footfalls could be heard. He saw Tony's eyes flick toward him and Gibbs' head tilt. Very gently, he put his hand on Gibbs' waist and leaned close. He was pretty sure there was no way he could control this situation without outing their relationship, and since their careers weren't worth risking Tony's life, he focused completely on his lover.

"Gibbs, I need your help," Tim said very quietly. He saw the blue eyes blink. "Please, Gibbs, I need you." He put all his fear into the words, hearing his voice quaver. Gibbs blinked again, and finally glanced over to him, then back to DiNozzo.

"What's wrong?" Gibbs demanded.

"I'm sick, Gibbs. Please, please, can you call for help? I need help," Tim leaned a bit of his weight on Gibbs. The older man frowned.

"What? Call... Call 911, Tim. Get help. I need..." Blinking rapidly, it was obvious Gibbs was having trouble concentrating.

McGee leaned harder on Gibbs. "Please... Oh god, Gibbs, I - I don't know if I can..." He let himself slump toward Gibbs, who did as he'd hoped and turned to catch him. Tim gestured to Tony, pointing urgently at the door, and the senior agent darted out, closing it behind him. It spoke to Gibbs' confusion that he didn't seem to notice at all. Tim let himself be ragdoll-limp, forcing Gibbs to hold him.

"Let me put you down, I'll go get help," Gibbs said.

"Don't leave me, Gibbs! I think I've been drugged. Poisoned! Please, we need an ambulance," McGee said, hoping Tony or whoever might be in Observation next door would take the information the way he intended.

"What? How could you be drugged?"

"The bar...Verse," It was Tim's best guess, but saying the name of the place was a dead giveaway that they'd been in a very gender-fluid, pan-sexual place together. "Last night, at the bar." It explained the way Gibbs had been forceful nearly to the point of brutality after they'd gotten home. Tim had assumed he was just exceptionally riled by something and it had been really hot, so he hadn't minded the bruises and soreness, but now he put the pieces together and guessed that Gibbs' drinks had been spiked.

McGee kept mumbling and trying to keep Gibbs with him and calm, but eventually, the older man went for the door. Finding it was locked from the outside, he flew into a rage. Tim rolled himself over and scrambled into the corner. Sober, Gibbs would never hurt him, but doped on who knew what? Tim crouched, watching, ready to dodge.

Before it came to that, DiNozzo and David led the charge into the room. Tim leapt for Gibbs, wanting to take him down without hurting him. The three of them subdued him enough for a paramedic, followed by Ducky, to get close and give him a sedative. As he weakened and began to collapse, he looked up at Tim, hurt and accusatory, and Tim's heart broke. He kissed his forehead and whispered to him. "It's gonna be alright, Gibbs. I'll stay with you. Gonna be okay." Then the blue eyes closed and they moved him to the gurney in the hall. McGee moved to accompany him, but was stopped by DiNozzo.

"Whoa, McLucy, you got some 'splainin' to do."

Tim shook him off and hurried for the elevator. "Not now, Tony." He squeezed in with the gurney, two paramedics, and Ducky.

As the elevator moved, he told the paramedics everything he could think of that might be pertinent, speaking in a low, tightly controlled voice.

"Last night we were at a club. He had a double bourbon at around 8, another around 8:30, then two more pretty quick after that. We danced, and he became very lively, which was out of character. By 9:30, he was getting very sexual and aggressive and we took a cab home, where he continued the same behavior. We had...vigorous sex, twice, and I went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, he was already up. I don't know if he slept at all. He was in a bad mood, though he wouldn't usually have a hangover after that amount of alcohol, and when agent DiNozzo got physically close to me, Gibbs snapped and attacked him. I got him to let Tony go by pretending to be ill. Was he drugged? Ducky?" He looked to the ME. "He had to have been drugged," Tim finished in a rush as they made their way out to the ambulance.

"I don't know, Timothy, but we're going to find out. I'll meet you at the hospital," Dr Mallard replied, shaking his head.

In the Emergency Room of Bethesda Naval hospital, they stopped McGee from accompanying Gibbs into the exam area. The nurse who pulled him away from the doors made him repeat what he'd told the paramedics and then told him to go wait. By then, Ducky had arrived and they went to the waiting area together.

"Now, my boy, the others are coming, so let me ask this before they arrive: do you need to see a doctor?" Ducky asked, keeping his voice low.

"What? Why? I wasn't drugged, I was pretending, counting on Gibbs' need to take care of me to distract him, that's all."

"That's not what I meant. I am fully capable of reading between the lines. 'Vigorous sex', Timothy," he quoted, and Tim swallowed and looked away. "Did he rape you?" Ducky's voice was barely audible. McGee turned to him and looked him directly in the eye.

"No."

"I know he would never hurt you if he were in his right mind, but it is very likely he was under the influence of some substance last night, and if you are hurt you need to seek medical attention. There's no shame in it - "

"Ducky, no! I said vigorous sex and that's what it was. It was entirely consentual and nothing we hadn't done before. Please don't make anything out of it; it's going to be difficult enough when everyone finds out we're lovers. We could lose our jobs... Oh, Ducky, I don't really give a damn. He'll be okay, right?" Tim's eyes filled with tears and Ducky put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right, my boy. You and I both know Jethro has survived worse than this. I want to be sure that you know he did tell me that you were in a relationship, and I am very happy for you both. I've honestly never seen him so content with anyone, and I've seen him with a good number of individuals over the years. I'm prepared to help in any way you require."

Tim's shoulders sagged with relief. "Oh, thank you. I'm so glad to hear that..."

"What the hell happened? Why were you at that club, were you on a case? Spill, McGoo, now," Tony stormed into the waiting room and stalked straight up to McGee. McGee ran his hand over his face and stood.

"Ducky, please come get me if there's any word," Tim said. The doctor nodded, and the two agents went outside.

"Tony... Um, are you okay? He didn't hurt you, right?"

"Takes more than that to put a DiNozzo down," he boasted. "But why didn't you tell me you were working last night?"

Tim took a deep breath, wishing he'd discussed how to do this with Gibbs. It had never seemed like a good time to bring it up, and now they'd run out of time. He cleared his throat, squared his shoulders, and faced Tony eye to eye.

"We weren't working. We're in a relationship and we were at the club on a date."

"You are. You are? You're sleeping with the boss? But you're not into guys. You've been very clear on that, McGee. How did this..." For once DiNozzo seemed at a loss for words.

"Tony, I always said I wasn't gay. I never said I wasn't bi. I am. So's Gibbs."

"I know Gibbs is, but... I swear you denied it, I really... But Gibbs? Your boss? Man, that is just one of the dumbest things anyone can do, isn't it? And he's old, I mean, not old old, he's Gibbs, but he's..."

"Oh my god, oh my god! Where is Gibbs? What happened?" Abby rushed up to them, with Ziva following more slowly. "How could he have been drugged? Did they sneak into his house and poison his bottle? Why did he attack Tony? McGee? Why is - "

Tim turned to Abby and took her by the shoulders. "Abby, take a breath!" He waited until she did, taking it with her. All he wanted was to be with Gibbs, to make sure he was going to be okay, but he had to deal with everyone else first. "Okay. Gibbs and I were out at a club last night - " He shook her gently when she started to interrupt. "We're seeing each other, okay? That's not important right now, though. Someone must have slipped something into his bourbon, because he got aggressive and hypersexual and then today he got really defensive of me. Abby, I need you to think, to help me figure out what they might have given him. Ziva, Tony, can you try to think if there's anyone who would want to hurt Gibbs like this?" He was attempting to derail their concern and questions about the relationship, and with Abby it worked; she started spouting various drug combinations which could cause behavior changes. Tony and Ziva were not as easily sidetracked, but they seemed to understand the pleading look he gave them and they began to quietly discuss possibilities. They moved inside and Ducky took over occupying Abby while Tim went to ask for news.

"You're his emergency contact, along with a Donald Mallard. You can come back and sit with him if you like," Tim was told several minutes later when he'd insisted on talking to Gibbs' nurse.

"Ducky," McGee called. "You can come back. Guys, we'll tell you as soon as we know anything."

Seeing Gibbs strapped down in a hospital bed made Tim's stomach turn. Ducky saw his reaction and put a reassuring hand on his back. "Just go sit and talk to him, Timothy, while I find his doctor."

Doing as he was told, he sat down and carefully took Gibbs' hand in his own. "Hey, Gibbs, sweetie, it's me. I told you I'd be with you and now I am. I've gotta warn you, I had to out us. How is it Tony knew you were bi but I didn't? I might have made a move on you sooner if I'd have known... But it doesn't matter. Tony is fine, you didn't hurt him. I'm fine, too. I was just pretending. Oh, Gibbs, I can't believe this happened. Seeing you like this is awful. I hope you're gonna wake up soon..."

Gibbs groaned.

"Gibbs! I'm here. I'm here. You're okay."

His eyes slitted open and he tried to move his arms.

"...the hell?" He muttered.

"Shh, just lay still. You're in restraints. It's okay, stay calm. Everything's okay. Gibbs, can you hear me?"

The blue eyes turned to him and the anger there softened as he saw Tim, who nodded and kept murmuring platitudes.

"Are you okay?" Gibbs interrupted. "Last night..."

"I'm fine. Gibbs, I'm fine."

Gibbs squeezed his hand painfully hard.

"I hurt you," he whispered. He recalled Tim crying out in more pain than pleasure, recalled biting him and fucking him hard, with little or no lube… And more than once. He closed his eyes.

"Damnit, Jethro, I'm fine!" McGee snapped. The use of his given name stopped Gibbs and he stared hard at Tim, who stood and leaned over him, kissing his forehead, then softy, his lips. "I love you, Gibbs. I'm a little sore, and I've got a few bruises. It was fucking amazing, actually, but right now, my concern is you; you were drugged with god knows what by who knows who, and all I want right now is for the doctors to tell me that you're okay."

"It seems so, dear boy," Ducky said, walking in with a short Asian woman, who elaborated.

"MDMA: Ecstasy, almost out of your system now. You also have an unusually high level of testosterone, so we suspect you were dosed with that, too. It made you euphoric, and as the X high wore off, you experienced a more severe come down than normal. Irritability, anger, and paranoia were exacerbated by the testosterone levels and made you aggressive. We're flushing your system," she gestured at the IV hanging at his side, "and I want you to drink plenty of water for the next few days, then get your blood tested again, but you should be fine as your testosterone levels begin to return to normal."

Gibbs frowned and looked at Tim. "I want to find who did this," he growled.

"Ah, no. Agent Gibbs, you will be on medical leave for the next week. Get used to dealing with the moods from the raised testosterone before you get into any situations which could produce adrenalin. Take some time off and relax. I'll have the restraints removed."

The doctor left and Tim snickered. Gibbs glared at him. "Relax. You, home alone. Yeah, right."

"You'll just have to solve this case so that you can take a long weekend together to relax," Ducky advised.

"Um, yeah, we'll have to see about whether I'm gonna even be allowed to stay on your team," Tim said. Gibbs frowned. "They know. Tony and Ziva and Abby; they're all here, waiting to see you."

A CNA came in to remove the restraints, and Tim kissed Gibbs' forehead again, smoothing his hair back. "I'll go tell them you're okay. Be right back." Gibbs nodded and his eyes followed as his lover left the room, watching for any hitch in his step or other indication he was hurt more than he'd let on.

"Jethro, the boy says he's fine. I'm sure he'll let you make it up to him later, but continuing to snap at him won't be helpful. Try and relax," Ducky admonished his old friend. The CNA finished with the straps and left the room.

"I want out of here, Duck. I want to find the bastard who did this. I could have hurt Tim last night, and Tony this morning. I want the person responsible."

"You heard the doctor. You will not be allowed to work this case. As soon as she signs off, I suggest you let Timothy take you home - "

"Actually, could you do that, Ducky? I'll need to go back with Tony and open the case," McGee put his head into the room. "Gibbs, are you ready to see them?"

Gibbs pushed the button on the bed until he was sitting up and sighed, nodding. Abby was first in, squealing and hugging him, and he patted her back and reassured her. A long look shared with DiNozzo put the attack to rest between them, and they shook hands. Ziva assured him they would find who had done this to him, and then the arrival of the doctor sent everyone but Tim and Ducky out. Tim whispered to Gibbs and kissed him lightly, then with a squeeze of his hand and a nod to Ducky, he followed the others.

Walking into the waiting area, Tony shook his head. "Boss and Probie? How did I miss that?"

"He did not tell me about it either, Tony. Do not feel bad," Ziva replied. She kept muttering to herself and shaking her head.

Abby's voice was hurt and confused. "Yeah, but he should've told me. I'm his best friend! He said he was working on gender identity, but he never told me he was bi or that he and Gibbs - "

"Wait, gender identity? McGee's a tranny? What the hell?" DiNozzo's jaw dropped.

"I'm not a tranny, Tony, not like what you're thinking," McGee stated, walking in on the last of the conversation. He set his jaw and tried not to glare at Abby. "I'd have liked to tell him myself, Abs," he said to her. She slapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. His head inclined as he saw she hadn't intended to spill his secret. "Look, Tony, I'll tell you about it later. For now, just know that I'm not planning a sex-change, and I don't cross dress, okay? Now can we get back to the Yard so we can start the investigation?"

The case went easily. A member of the waitstaff from Verse, an intersex male to female, had quit the night before, gone home, and killed herself. Several patrons had been drugged, all dates of people the individual had hit on in the past and been shot down by. Tim only vaguely remembered a time many months before that she had given him her phone number. The mix of a very pure ecstasy and a massive dose of testosterone was a vicious plan to get the objects of her unrequited attention assaulted, and Tim found he had very little sympathy for her. Two victims of the drug had gotten violent in the club and been thrown out by the bouncers, and Tim was determined to try to track down anyone else, if only to check to be sure the poisoner hadn't succeeded in getting anyone raped.

They'd found her body at her apartment when they'd gone to question her, and Ducky and Palmer had arrived together after that.

"I got Jethro settled at home," Ducky had assured McGee. "He only agreed to stay put if you would go to him tonight, however."

As they were cataloging the crime scene, though there were no indicators of foul play and it appeared to be a cut and dried suicide, DiNozzo began questioning McGee.

"So you're not pulling a whole Crying Game, but you have gender issues? What's that about?"

Tim sighed. "There are dozens of genders. You saw the news reports about Facebook offering more than fifty genders for users to self-identify, right?"

"C'mon, man, there's only two sets of plumbing. I mean, I get Rodney-turned-Rhonda here," he gestured toward the bedroom. "But if you aren't Timothea, what's the prob?"

"When you're talking about plumbing, you're referring to the sex of the person. Gender is about how you feel inside, and it's not always one or the other. I... I've been thinking about it a lot, and I am coming to terms with the fact that I have a lot of feminine in me. I always have had. Trying to be alpha male, super masculine was like trying to wear a shirt that didn't fit, it was uncomfortable, and it just felt wrong, but I felt like I had to keep wearing it. I'm learning that it's okay to be just who I am, masculine, feminine, and anything in between, or even outside of those."

Tim surprised himself with the ease at which he explained what he'd been going through. He'd found the shirt analogy on an androgyny website and it had really stuck in his mind. The original writer had added that it was a hair shirt that chafed and caused a lot of pain, and had made Tim sad for the person and grateful that his experience hadn't ever been that bad.

Delivering the evidence from the apartment to Abby when they finished at the scene, Tim wasn't sure what his welcome would be. Abby signed all the chain of evidence forms and then they stood and stared at each other in discomfort.

" - I'm sorry I didn't tell you - "

" - I didn't mean to tell Tony - "

They spoke simultaneously.

"You go first," Abby said immediately.

"Abs, I'm sorry I didn't tell you we're together. I didn't tell anybody."

"How long has it been?"

"Eight months."

Abby stared. "I can't believe you were able to keep a secret from me for that long, Timmy."

"I was scared you'd feel threatened. I know how much Gibbs means to you."

Her head tilted. "And you. You're my two favorite people, McGee. But don't tell Tony that."

Tim shook his head, his fear of losing her easing and slowly beginning to unclench his gut.

"You really love him? He really loves you?"

He nodded. "We're so great together, Abs. We laugh and we started dancing, and he's making me a desk, and the sex is mind-blowing, his stamina - "

Abby threw her hands up. "No. That's the line, McGee. No sex talk."

"Whatever you want, Abby. Just please know that nothing has to change in your relationship with either of us."

"Well, duh, McGee. If I didn't know for eight months that means nothing changed. So, I'm sorry I blabbed to Tony about your gender identity crisis."

"To be honest, I'm glad all the secrets are out now. Tony will be okay. I just hope Ziva can accept it, and that this doesn't break up the team when we tell Vance."

"Why do you have to tell him?"

"Well, the whole freakout on DiNozzo thing happened on the premises, and there were witnesses, and it would require a huge cover up if we didn't... I need to just have it out there, whatever the consequences."

Abby's cocked head and sympathetic look showed her concern for him and the team, and he gratefully accepted her hug.

~~~NCIS~~~

Later, when they had finished for the day, McGee called and informed Gibbs of the outcome of their investigation, receiving only a grunt in return.

"I talked a little with Tony. I'd like to talk some more with him, just make sure he's okay with...me, and with us, but I feel like I should come right home to you..."

"I'm fine. Go get a beer. Just come over after?" Gibbs sounded grumpy and frustrated, but Tim smiled that he still expressed wanting to see him.

"I won't be late. There's left over chicken alfredo in the fridge."

"I can feed myself, damnit, I'm not an invalid."

"No alcohol."

"Oh for pete's sake!"

"I mean it. I'll come home right now if you don't promise not to drink."

"I won't drink. Go out with Tony. I'll see you later."

From anyone else Tim would have described his tone as sullen.

"I love you, Gibbs."

"Me, too."

So McGee and DiNozzo went out for drinks. Ziva had bowed out, and Tim wistfully wondered if their relationship would ever recover, but he was pleased at how Tony took his explanations. He even apologized when it hit him that all the teasing Tim had reacted badly to in the last few months had been related to gender identity.

"And I thought you were just being too sensitive," DiNozzo shook his head. "But, now, Gibbs... You and Gibbs? How does that work? I mean, I get how it works, but... You're not even a redhead, Probie."

Tim smiled. He took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say. "Well, I've been in love with Gibbs for a long time now," he started.

"I know. I mean, I thought it was a daddy thing or hero worship - wait, you don't call him daddy, right? 'Cause that would be - "

"No, Tony," he rolled his eyes. "None of this is a daddy thing. I...I was attracted to him from the beginning, and over time, as we got to know each other... I love him," he shrugged.

"You were very sly keeping being bi from me. You never lied, did you? You just avoided the truth."

McGee shrugged again. "I'm a lousy liar, so I speak carefully."

"So you love the boss-man, but how did he... I mean, no offense, Probalicious, but you aren't exactly his type."

Tim nodded. "I've asked him about that. He..." Thinking quickly, he wondered how much personal information he should share. "Okay, so, the ex-wives were all redheads and really volatile, right? Well, that's fun, but it gets old fast, y'know? Fighting and making up is fine occasionally, but when it's the basis of the relationship?"

Tony nodded. "I guess I can see that. But he's a woodworker and you're allergic to sawdust, man! He builds boats and you get seasick! You're cutting edge and he's anti-technology! You're - "

"He's not anti-technology. He appreciates how fast computers get answers for him at work. He just doesn't have the patience to learn it himself."

"Patience? The man doesn't use electric tools!"

Tim smiled. "Gibbs is a man of contradictions."

"And that! You call him Gibbs?"

"Yeah, mostly. He doesn't mind." McGee considered the one time he'd called Gibbs Jethro and decided it should be saved for getting his attention.

They talked for a while longer, then Tim saw the time. "Look, Tony, I really wanna get home and check on him."

"Home? You living en la casa de Gibbs?"

"Not...yet."

"Okay. Well, when you need help moving..."

Tim was touched by the offer. "Thanks, Tony."

They rose and DiNozzo clapped him on the shoulder. "No problem, McGirlGuy," he grinned and McGee just shook his head and smiled back, feeling not a twinge of hurt.

When Tony dropped Tim off at Gibbs' house, he went in and had to wake his lover where he'd gone to sleep on the couch reading. Taking the open book off his chest and putting it on the end table with his page carefully marked, he then brushed his hand through the silver hair and kissed his forehead. When Gibbs' eyes blinked open, Tim smiled.

"Reading, huh? Didn't feel like working downstairs?"

"I'm too wound up," Gibbs grumped. "I have no patience."

"Okay. Ready to come to bed?"

He grunted and rose. They went upstairs and undressed, climbing into bed together. Gibbs cringed inwardly at the bruises on Tim's back and hips, and the bite marks he could see on his shoulders as well as the ones he knew were on the delicate skin of his inner thighs. Tim ignored his scrutiny and started to kiss Gibbs and slowly stroke his body, but Gibbs stopped him.

"I'm not gonna risk anything," Gibbs said with finality. Tim sighed and agreed, turning on his side.

"You called me Jethro," Gibbs pointed out as they lay in the dark, Tim spooned before him to assuage his protectiveness.

"Yeah, I needed to get your attention."

"I know I hurt you," he said softly, kissing the back of Tim's head. He felt the sigh that went through the younger man.

"It was rough sex. I'm sore. But it was intense and erotic and I loved having you go completely wild for me, even knowing it was chemically aided. I feel kinda bad that I also enjoyed how you defended me with Tony, too," Tim brought Gibbs' hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Gibbs' grip tightened on him, and he snuggled back against him contentedly.

"Mmm, I'd do anything to keep you safe, Tim," Gibbs murmured. He was beginning to doze. Tim frowned, knowing it was true and that that fact was exactly the reason spouses were barred from serving on the same team. It was a problem they would have to face as soon as Gibbs returned to work, and he spent over an hour considering their options before falling asleep with no better idea of any way to deal with it.

~~~NCIS~~~

The team was restricted to desk work while Gibbs was out, which, once they were all caught up on their normal paperwork, meant cold cases. The only benefit of that was that they got to go home on time. Tim, always efficient and conscientious about his reports, was already running new backgrounds for a murder from '02 by the end of the first day. Quitting time came, and he was surprised when Ziva hurried to join him in the elevator, knowing she wasn't ready to leave yet. Still, he gave her a half-smile and a nod as the doors shut, and he wasn't shocked when she hit the emergency stop.

"McGee...Tim, I wish to explain myself to you," she began. Tim waited quietly. "When you spoke to me about your gender concerns, I was...unkind." She held up her hand when he tried to deny it. "At the very least, I was not compassionate or understanding, and you are my friend. I should have been - nicer." Sighing, she began to pace the tiny space. "I though that all the time we were spending together meant...something more to you than it did. I thought it showed that you were interested in me in a romantic way. We grew very close very quickly, and I was unsure if I wanted anything more, so I did nothing. When you told me about your gender, I felt that that somehow threatened any possibility for what I thought you wanted, and I needed time to decide if I was grieving the loss of opportunity or relieved, or something else. I am not a woman who is deeply in touch with her feelings, so it has taken time... And now you are with Gibbs. I feel foolish for not speaking to you sooner about my misunderstanding. I know that I have hurt you, and you are my dear, dear friend, so I would like to apologize."

McGee waited to be sure she was done talking, then he pulled her into a quick hug. "Thank you, Ziva. You are so important to me. I forgive you, and I'm sorry I wasn't straight with you from the beginning. I...I feel like our time together allowed me to be myself in a way I wasn't able to be with anyone else until Gibbs," he bit his lip and confessed. "I kept thinking of our time as 'girl time'. Does that...my gender fluidity, does it freak you out? I'm still me..."

Ziva put her hands on either side of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. "You are a beautiful person, Tim. If you are a sister to me or a brother, it does not matter. You are my friend."

Tim felt himself getting choked up. "I love you, Zee. I want to keep having girl's nights with you."

"I would like that."

She rode down to the garage with him then remained in the elevator when he walked to his car.

At his apartment, he ran up the stairs, unaware of how free his movements were until he carefully went back down to his car with two big armfuls of his clothes. Picking his way down the stairs, he realized he was moving more like he did when he danced; unselfconsciously, placing his feet one directly before the other, making his hips sway. He grinned, and when he'd deposited his load in the back of his car, allowed himself a giggle and a little hop of joy before he ran back upstairs for another few personal items he wanted to take to the house. As awful as it was to have had Gibbs be victimized, being out not only in his gender identity but in their relationship was a very heavy weight off of his shoulders, and one of the final pieces toward his acceptance of himself at the level where he could consider moving in with his lover.

Not even Gibbs' staunch refusal to have any form of sex could bring him down. Each day that week after work, Tim went to his apartment and gathered more of his living essentials to bring to the house, and he waited, watching for Gibbs' reaction as the older man helped him carry a load of books and some of his electronics supplies, but shrugging mentally when he remained stoic.

Gibbs did notice, of course. He was finding that his temper remained off the chart, so he was keeping nearly mute to avoid any possibility of even speaking hurtfully to Tim. The indications Tim was making with bringing more of his belongings over had Gibbs guardedly pleased, and he spent a whole day completely cleaning one of the spare bedrooms upstairs, moving boxes either to a giveaway pile or the attic depending on the contents. Keeping the door shut to hide his intentions from Tim, the next day he took the giveaway boxes to the local charity and went shopping. He found a workbench and stool for Tim's electronics projects, along with a small shelving unit, and a basic desk. All were second hand but usable, since Gibbs would have to wait until he actually discussed with Tim whether he was completely moving in or just keeping extra items at the house. He thought that the mahogany desk would look great in the room, and if Tim agreed, they could move it up there as soon as he finished staining it.

That evening, when Tim arrived with another carload of his stuff, Gibbs brought the boxes upstairs to what he was privately thinking of as Tim's office. Tim followed him, seeing that the boxes he'd brought the day before were no longer in the dining room.

The joy that spread across Tim's face when he saw the room was worthy of speech.

"I'm glad you like it," Gibbs said, when Tim put the box he was carrying down and flung himself at Gibbs in a hug with Abby-level enthusiasm. "We can move anything else you want...whenever."

"Oh, Gibbs! Thank you! This is...amazing. Thank you. So much."

Gibbs breathed deeply of the scent of Tim as he continued to hold him. Not being intimate was as hard on him as it was on Tim, but he refused to risk losing control and hurting him again. He'd considered asking Ducky about when the doctor thought it would be safe to have sex again, but it seemed too embarrassing of a topic, even with his old friend. He'd wait until he was sure. He would not hurt Tim again if he could possibly help it.

~~~NCIS~~~

Gibbs' refusal to have sex with Tim continued through the work week before Tim finally put his foot down on Saturday morning. It had been nearly a week, and after all the months of being very sexually active together, Tim refused to wait any longer.

"I know you're worried about hurting me, Gibbs, but I'm not waiting until your testosterone levels return to normal," he said, stepping back. He'd come up behind Gibbs while he brushed his teeth, slid his hands around his middle, and started nibbling in the back of his neck. When he hadn't gotten any response, he'd slid one hand up to Gibbs' extremely erogenous nipple. The response was a growl and a shake, dislodging Tim from holding him. Gibbs rinsed his mouth and turned around, but Tim had stubbornly blocked his exit from the room.

"No."

Tim had the temerity to roll his eyes, and Gibbs' face flushed as he felt fury heat his gut. He clenched his fists and shook his head.

"Get out of the way."

Tim dropped the attitude and stepped closer. Pushing Gibbs until they could have pissed off, angry sex would only make things worse. A better idea came to Tim and he felt a nervous flutter in his belly. He stopped a breath away from his lover.

"You don't want to risk hurting me," McGee stated, then he paused. Gibbs calmed down a bit when the other man made no move to touch him. He nodded slightly. "Do you trust me not to hurt you?" Tim's voice dropped to a low, husky whisper, and Gibbs' eyes widened a fraction. Their breath sped up and became matched.

"I - trust you," Gibbs finally replied. He'd agreed some time ago to let Tim top, and it would only be fair at this point. He'd survived a painful bottoming experience decades ago, and there was no way Tim would be as rough as the other man had been. Hell, he deserved it, and worse. He'd take it as a punitive action and maybe his guilt would ease from the punishment.

McGee almost rolled his eyes again when he read the thoughts that flitted across Gibbs' face as he clenched his and he nodded in resignation. He looked like he'd agreed to a caning. A small sigh escaped Tim, but the realization of what was about to happen overwhelmed his annoyance at Gibbs' assumption that he'd cause him pain; that he wanted Gibbs to bottom as some kind of retaliation. Thinking of the feel of a hot, tight ass around him made Tim blush, blood rushing not only to his cheeks at the sense memory. It had been over five years since he'd topped, and he was suddenly eager to do so now. He took Gibbs' hand and led him to the bedroom.

Kissing him sensuously only heightened the tension in Gibbs, and Tim shook his head. He pushed Gibbs back onto the bed and tugged the older man's boxers off. He evidenced no arousal.

Gibbs watched when Tim moved to draw the dark drapes over the windows, then turn on the lamp on the nightstand and partially cover it with a lightweight red shirt. The effect was cocooning and Gibbs relaxed fractionally. Tim put music on low, a mournful sounding jazz that soothed Gibbs further. His blood finally began to heat when his lover came back to the foot of the bed and slowly started to undress. As the alabaster skin was revealed, Gibbs lost himself in the view, beginning to grow hard.

Tim smiled as his preparations allowed Gibbs begin to let go. When his stepped out of his underwear, revealing just how aroused he was, he saw Gibbs' jaw clench and his half-hard cock start to deflate. Shaking his head, Tim climbed onto the bed and ran his tongue from base to head, then sucking the tip between his lips and probing the slit.

"Oh, Jesus!" Gibbs groaned, and Tim smiled as his mouth filled as he grew erect. He continued to lick and suck for a few minutes before he released and crawled up to kiss Gibbs passionately, resting his full weight on the older man, trapping their cocks between their bodies and moaning at the feel of their sensitive skin sliding against each other as he settled. Gibbs's voice answered the sound, and their kiss became aggressive, battling tongue and lips and teeth.

Finally, panting, Tim broke away and stared into Gibbs' eyes. His pupils were so dilated there was only a tiny ring of blue, and his lips were swollen, cheeks flushed. God, he was the most gorgeous sight Tim had ever seen. He pushed up and rolled Gibbs over onto his stomach. Kissing and biting Gibbs's neck and shoulders, Tim reached across to the nightstand for the lube, dropping it beside them. Gibbs' head was turned away from him, and he knew he'd seen the retrieval when the muscles under his lips tensed. Tim ignored it, confident he would be bringing his lover so much pleasure he might even beg to be fucked. Well, maybe not. Tim didn't think he'd have the patience to make Gibbs that wild for it. This time. But he'd still make this a great experience for him, one he'd be willing and even eager to repeat. Tim would get him to beg later.

Shifting his focus to releasing the tension in Gibbs' strong shoulders, Tim started on a back rub.

"Why don't you just get it over with?" Gibbs grumbled. Tim slapped his ass, hard enough to leave a hand print. "Hey! I didn't agree to that!"

Tim moved, rolling Gibbs over so he lay on his back. He glared down at him. "Did you lie when you said you trust me?" He demanded.

"No."

"Well, then, as tempting as it is to blister your ass for acting like a petulant child, I won't do that," he leaned forward, putting his hands to either side of Gibbs' head and bringing his face close. "Gibbs, I am gonna fuck you, but not until you're out of your mind with pleasure from everything I'm gonna do to get you ready. I'm gonna slide into you, I'm gonna possess you, and you're going to enjoy it. You are gonna come with my dick in your ass; you're gonna feel me when I shoot my load inside you, and believe me, trust me, when I say you are going to love it. Now stop bitching and let me show you how good it can be."

Gibbs' eyes had grown wide, staring up at Tim. This version of him was completely masculine, totally in control, and was amazingly sexy. He believed every word, and the trepidation he'd felt since he agreed to bottom melted away in the heat of Tim's scorching proclamation.

Months of experience with his lover's body gave Tim the knowledge to do exactly what he'd said he would. His mouth and fingers played Gibbs like a maestro, hitting every hot spot and teasing him to head-thrashing arousal before he finally lubed his fingers and eased the tip of one into him. Gibbs' instinctive push against the intrusion was just right to allow Tim to slide his finger all the way in.

Gibbs' gasp against Tim's mouth made him smile, and when he crooked the finger to stroke Gibbs' prostate, the cry he gave as his hips jerked made Tim pause and concentrate on the periodic table, reciting it backwards for a dozen elements before he could continue without coming.

McGee had spent nearly half an hour winding him up before that first penetration. Gibbs was as aroused as he had ever been in his life, and when that long, elegant finger caressed inside him, he lost it. He could feel the pleasure from his curling toes to a tingle in the back of his throat. It was like the moment before his orgasm hit: that strung out, suspended moment before the rush. He shuddered and suddenly understood. He wanted Tim, hard and throbbing, inside him, pushing him again and again to that sense of -almost- then finally to make the world explode.

"Yes-yes, Tim, yes," he mumbled. Tim closed his eyes and soaked the moment in, the total surrender from this powerful, brave man whom he loved so fiercely.

A second finger joined the first, stretching, preparing, and Tim carefully stroked the cluster of nerves as he moved. Gibbs was totally lost in the pleasure Tim was providing, and Tim bit his lip and rose on his elbow so he could watch as the silver-crowned head tossed restlessly and profanities and affirmatives mixed with his name rolled from Gibbs' lips.

Shaking, restraining himself, Tim lowered his head to nibble on Gibbs' nipple just as he pressed a third finger into him. He tongued the hard nub where it nestled in Gibbs' coarse chest hair and carefully curled his middle finger inside him.

There was some discomfort at the wide stretch, but the immense pleasure surging through him made it barely noticeable. Gibbs was no longer aware of the bed beneath him. The entire universe had contracted to himself and Tim, and the feeling of what Tim was doing to his body.

"Fuck...Tim...need...god! Gotta...oh...ah..."

It was as close as Tim could imagine to Gibbs begging, and he was done waiting. He withdrew his fingers, rolling on top of Gibbs as he rubbed the lube onto himself. Kneeling, he pulled Gibbs' lean thighs up so he could press the head of his cock up against him.

"Gibbs...oh, Gibbs..." Tim whimpered. Gibbs opened his eyes and Tim pushed forward, choking on a sob at the squeeze as his head spread the older man and finally slipped past the ring of muscle. He froze.

There was finally pain, a burning as Tim entered him, but instead of lessening the pleasure, it provided a counterpoint as his legs shook and he wanted more, needed to feel Tim inside him, on top of him, all around him. With a drawn out groan, he shoved his ass hard against Tim's slim hips, drawing him in, fulfilling the need. Tim's cry when he bottomed out was half-surprise, half-ecstasy, and Gibbs felt the pulsing as the younger man came.

Tim couldn't stop it. The sound Gibbs made as he forced Tim deep into the heat and the pressure was too much and his orgasm triggered without his volition. After a long moment, he fell forward onto Gibbs' chest, their sweat mingling, breath gasping, hearts pounding.

Gibbs knew what Tim was capable of: his quick recovery time when highly aroused as well as his ability to climax multiple times. So he waited only a minute or two before he started moving, rubbing his erection against Tim's stomach.

McGee groaned at the friction against his over-sensitized but still mostly hard cock. Gibbs' near-virgin tightness was like a cock ring, keeping him erect. The movement was pleasurable agony on his still twitching flesh.

"More," Gibbs grunted. And the order, the raw need in the voice, made Tim shudder and shift himself to obey. He'd worked Gibbs to the edge of madness; he couldn't leave him hanging.

Tim moved just a little bit, giving a few small thrusts as he got fully hard again. The response of a choking near-whimper from Gibbs drove him crazy. He propped up on his elbows and kissed his lover bruisingly hard before he pulled out and gave a powerful thrust. Gibbs' neck arched and he cried out, and it was on.

Shoving deep again and again into the hot sheath of Gibbs' body, Tim reveled just how good it felt to top. That it was Gibbs, the person he loved more than anyone, avowed top himself, opening before him, face screwed up in a completely different ecstatic expression than he'd ever seen before, made the experience profoundly intense.

Gibbs' eyes were squinched closed, and Tim could tell he was totally focused inward, but Tim needed to share the awareness of the profundity of this experience with him, so he called his name as he continued to rock in the slick tight passage. Not getting the response he wanted, Tim grunted and tried again.

"Jethro!" He snapped, his voice sharp. Gibbs' eyes snapped open and Tim's lips peeled back from his teeth in a feral smile.

His name spoken that way brought Gibbs to awareness and he stared up at the flushed, triumphant face of his lover. He watched as the expression on Tim's face softened into pure adoration. Every other consideration fell away in the emotional torrent that poured through him. He hadn't known a love like this existed, had never felt anything like it before. He was drowning in it and pulled it into himself gladly as some broken part of him was utterly destroyed in the onslaught. He'd always been emotional during sex, as if it were the only time his armor could ever fall away, but this was tenfold, a hundredfold, magnitudes more than that. His soul had been laid bare, and the glowing adoration in Tim's eyes held it safeguarded, providing something stronger than the armor he'd always wrapped himself in.

A transformation was happening in Gibbs while Tim continued loving him; he could see some kind of re-birth taking place, and he was shaken to the deepest part of himself by the raw vulnerability he sensed. He knew that sex sometimes freed Gibbs to express himself emotionally in ways he never could otherwise, but this seemed to be so much more.

It was unbearable, the build up, physically, emotionally; it had to culminate, Tim couldn't stand the intensity any longer. He nodded a question to Gibbs while he raised up and reach for the man's cock. The relieved, gasping nod gave him permission. He gripped the rock hard flesh and stroked as he shifted to stimulate Gibbs in the most direct way possible, humping hard, panting, sweat rolling over him.

Yes! It was nearing, the explosion of sensation that would complete him, complete them. Close, so close!

Tears filled Tim's eyes, and when Gibbs' body arched and a primal screaming howl tore free from him as he came, the clenching on his cock nearly caused him to pass out as his own climax washed out his vision, along with his awareness of everything except the head of his cock buried in the molten, rippling heat of Gibbs' body.

It was over. Gibbs was sure that this was it, his heart was giving out and he was dying. His body was turning inside out, white hot pulses mirroring what he was certain were the final beats of his heart. What a way to go...

Tim's weight collapsing onto him caused Gibbs' breath to whoosh out, and the firm reality of the younger man's trembling, shaking body atop him forced Gibbs to acknowledge that he was still alive. Not only that, but he'd just had the most affecting sexual experience of his life, and he'd had it bottoming. He had no idea what to think about that, so he pushed the thought aside and concentrated on his lover. Not only was Tim trembling, he was sobbing softly, and Gibbs put his arms closer around him and soothed him.

"Tim. Mmm, Timmy, baby, oh, Tim," he murmured, until Tim finally raised his head and looked at him.

Sniffing and taking a final shuddering breath, Tim dared a question. "Are you okay?"

Gibbs brought his hands up and cupped his face. "I have never been better. Tim... Oh, Tim, I can't say it enough: I love you."

Tim's eyes widened and filled with tears again.

"Hey! Hey... What is it? Tim?" Gibbs hadn't meant to make him cry more.

"You...you've never said the words before. You've told me, you've shown me, in all kinds of ways, but you never said... Oh Gibbs, please, please, say it again? Please?"

"Say what? I love you? I've said it before. Every time you say it, I say it."

"No. No, you say 'me too'. Say it... Gibbs, will you look into my eyes and say it, please?"

Gibbs shifted, wanting a direct view of Tim, and when he rolled, Tim's cock slid out of him and there was a moment when he regretted the loss. He paused, then they were laying face to face, sharing a pillow. He brought his hand up to hold Tim's cheek, using his thumb to wipe the tears away.

"Timothy McGee... My Tim... I love you. I love you more than I could ever have imagined or hoped for. I love you more than..." He closed his eyes for a moment, unable to say it, to compare his first and last loves. "More than anything."

Tim's eyes shone. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I love you. If it's okay, I want to let my apartment go and stay here, with you, and make a home...and a life. A new life. Together."

It felt formal, almost ritualistic, and Gibbs took it for the declaration that it was.

"Yes. Together."

Tim kissed him joyfully.

~~~NCIS~~~

With Tony and Ziva's help, they moved the last of Tim's belongings to Gibbs' house the next day. Putting Tim's newer bed in the master bedroom, they moved Gibbs' bed into the third bedroom, with Gibbs quietly asking if Tim would mind decorating it for a guest room, which made Tim beam. Ziva helped Tim make the master up with the bedding from IKEA while Tony and Gibbs rearranged Tim's office with his workbench and some of the shelves from the apartment, leaving room for the mahogany desk in a prominent spot. The remaining shelves went into the garage, their fate to be decided later.

The team sat on the front stoop and drank a beer together and then Ziva and Tony left, leaving the couple alone. Tim looked at where Gibbs stood, just inside the door. They had some glaring reality to face. He'd never lived with someone outside of family and college. Their work life was likely to change radically when they spoke to Vance. The only thing he was sure of was that he was finally whole, and he and Gibbs shared a love which would weather the years. He smiled a special smile as he stepped over the threshold toward Gibbs, who stood waiting to start their new life.

Together, as promised.

~~~The End~~~

A/N I sincerely hope this was a satisfying ending for you. I loved writing this so much that I hate to see it end, but there are always more stories waiting to be told. If you enjoyed the romantically sexy nature of this one, I humbly suggest you check out my Home series. It's a crossover with Supernatural, but it is more about the relationship between Tim and Sam than about monsters. I really don't think you need to know much about SPN to enjoy it. There's even a nod to Gibbs and his possible feelings for Tim. (I have come to love the m/m/m in Precious Pup's Lost Boys series and Emi-Lyn's Paradox of Love so much that I have written a sexy bit for Home with Gibbs joining them, sort of. It's titled Home Away From Home.)

Big shout out to hazelmom and hostaqueen, I like to think we're becoming friends. And to everyone else who favorited, followed, reviewed, and read; thank you so very much. It means the world to me! I've really enjoyed messaging with readers. I'm always willing to PM, so feel free.

This series continues with (chronologically in the story) The first chapters of When Does Happily Ever After Start?, then a sexy sidebar with the couple taking a weekend vacation in Cooking Bacon In The Buff Is Never A Good Idea, then the rest of Happily. I'm planning another sidebar with the working title Adventures in Transgender Shopping, and then a final serious story to complete the verse.

Thanks again for all the support this has received.