(Chapter 5: The Prince and the Heiress)

It was an early morning on Thursday as Jaune made his way through the training fields. The sun had yet to rise and the young Huntsman-in-training was dragging his feet. He'd been up all night doing the homework for Team CRNL, much as he wished otherwise. However, despite his protests, Cardin and his friends seemed to have singled him out. So here he was, wandering the training fields after a night of doing five assignments and making certain that no two looked the same, less the teachers figure out what's going on. Truth be told, he'd rather be sleeping. He knew he could probably get at least an hour in, but he didn't want to risk waking up his team. He didn't want to be a burden…

"Huh?" He questioned as he noticed a pulsing orange glow coming from a nearby training field. He crept closer to the field, mindful of staying hidden.

What could it be? Jaune really hoped it wasn't some student trying to summon an Elder Grimm from ancient times. That would suck. And certainly be within the realms of his luck.

He peeled back a few of the branches and was surprised by what he found. "Whoa…"

There in the middle of the field sat Professor Uzumaki in a meditative pose. All around him, extending in a five foot radius were orange hued…stars? They certainly shined like the ones in the sky. Little lights that glowed brightly and pulsed in sync at regular intervals. Jaune watched as the pulses came quicker as a spot two and a half feet away from Professor Uzumaki's left started to spark viciously. The stars around the blonde stopped pulsing and started to grow brighter and brighter before quickly dimming to almost nonexistence. Soon the training field was bathed in a soft orange light once more. The sparking, which had stopped during the stars little light show, began once more.

Jaune watched fascinated as the pulses started picking up again, but before they could reach their fevered pace from before a blinding light erupted from the sparks causing him to look away from the spectacle. As the light died down, Jaune looked back to see a new star had formed and now pulsed alongside its peers. The young professor took a deep breath. As he inhaled the stars brightened and upon exhaling, they extinguished.

"You can come out now," He called out.

Jaune glanced around the field. Surely he couldn't mean…

"Oi! Idiot in the bushes! I can sense your aura from here!" His professor shouted in annoyance.

Jaune couldn't leap out of the bushes fast enough. Professor Goodwitch had certainly done a good job teaching him that, that tone was to be heeded at all costs.

Naruto frowned as he arched an eyebrow at his audience. He hadn't had the chance to really interact with Jaune outside of class. He had wanted the chance to speak with him, but things hadn't gone quite as planned.

"Well, Jaune. I'm certainly surprised to see you up this early."

Jaune bowed his head and started to apologize. "I'm sorry. I swear I didn't meant to interrupt," he paused, trying to think of the proper way to describe what he saw before giving up. "…Whatever it was you were doing, Professor Uz-"

"Naruto," Said blonde interrupted getting a confused look from the student. "Outside of class, it's Naruto and what you interrupted was a training exercise I learned from a drunk old hag to help me better control my semblance." Jaune wasn't sure what to say to that and opted to remain silent. "So, are you out here for a little early morning training of your own?"

The Huntsman-in-training jumped at the excuse. It was certainly better than admitting the truth. "Yep! That's me! Just this…Youthful Huntsman with a Flaming Passion! If I don't train to get rid of this aggression…why…I might become as scary as the Grimm I fight!"

Naruto stared dumbly at him.

"Uh huh…" He said with a slow nod. "Well Mr. "Scary Grimm" that's all well and good. But if you use the words "flaming" or "youthful" in the same sentence ever again, I will show you why the Grimm run and hide at the mere sight of me."

The younger blonde audibly gulped. "Duly noted."

"Now pop a squat," Naruto said patting the ground near him. "I wanted to talk to you at the start of the semester, but got sidetracked."

Jaune hesitantly sat down, "…What's there to talk about?"

"Can't I simply show concern for how one of my students is fitting in?"

"Um…all the concerns you have for our education…seem to, uh…be come complete with a throwing knife…Sir."

Naruto sulked. "I'm not that bad…"

Jaune's considered responding with "Yes, you are" but quickly smothered the urge. He didn't really want to give his professor the chance to prove himself wrong. It certainly had nothing to do with his own wants of avoiding being used for target practice.

"So, how's life as the leader of Team JNPR?" Naruto merrily asked. His mood having done a complete turnaround with the change of topic.

"Huh? Um…not much different from usual, I guess?" Jaune answered tentatively. They hadn't really done much as a team. Dejectedly he added. "Professor Goodwitch seems to feel I should try to get to the same level as the rest of my team before she considers furthering our training..."

"That woman can be such a Mother Hen." Naruto grumbled. He couldn't really fault her approach though. Jaune was severely underprepared for the trials Beacon would soon start throwing at its students. Not to say his situation was completely hopeless. There was still plenty of time for him to catch up, but it would be up to Jaune whether or not that ever happened. Shame the boy would have to figure that out for himself. You couldn't hand someone an excuse to better themselves. They had to figure that out for themselves. Still, that didn't mean Naruto couldn't give the kid a blatantly obvious hint.

"Huh…guess you really were here to train," the blonde teacher feigned ignorance. "But why train so early? You should have plenty time in the afternoon."

"I'm usually doing homework in the afternoon." Jaune dismally answered.

"There shouldn't be that much homework."

"There is when you're doing it for five people…" He muttered under his breath. However, Naruto heard him and smirked inwardly. That was what he had wanted to hear.

"Hmm…so you're the one helping Team CRNL cheat," the Prince of Beacon murmured.

"Huh, what!?" Jaune cried out surprised. "Cheating? Pfft, no. Why would I-"

"Jaune, you suck at lying."

The younger blonde hung his head in defeat. All those weeks of trying to hide the truth and one of his teachers was already aware of the cheating. And like the genius Jaune was, he just had to announce to said teacher that he was the one helping others cheat. "I'm expelled, aren't I?"

Naruto gave him a curious glance before shaking his head. "Nope."

That certainly surprised Jaune. "B-but I'm a cheater! Isn't that a pretty bad offense?"

"Correction," Naruto said holding up his index finger. "You're a patsy. As far as punishments are concerned. I think you're doing a fairly good job of punishing yourself by obeying Team CRNL."

"So what happens now?"

"Nothing," Naruto answered with another shake of his head. "This is a combat school, Jaune. You're expected to handle your own problems. The teachers are only expected to intervene if we feel the situation has gotten out of hand."

"So that's it!? Just business as usual!?" Jaune wasn't one for anger, but hearing about Beacon's rather laissez faire approach to the situation really irked him. "Team CRNL just gets away scot-free as long as I continue to do their work for them!?"

An evil smile appeared on Naruto's face. "Now whoever said anything about letting Team CRNL get away with their lazy approach towards their schoolwork?"

Jaune looked up at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Let's just say halfway into the semester, team CRNL will have their wonderful little security blanket, ripped away from them, torn to pieces, and then lit on fire."

That just confused him more. Naruto rolled his eyes behind his goggles. "The staff has been aware of Team CRNL's cheating for some time. We've decided to let it continue while marking all their assignments as zeroes. Within the next couple weeks or so, we'll reveal to them how we were aware from the get go. We'll then present them with an option…" Naruto's evil smile returned. "Either redo every assignment they failed to do themselves or drop out of Beacon entirely."

"If you and the other teachers already know, then why let it continue on at all?"

"I already answered that," Naruto said with a hint of annoyance. "We're a combat school, not a daycare. If you can't take care of yourself in a classroom environment, you'll be fucked on the field." He said standing up. "Either way, Jaune, the fact is it's up to you whether or not you stop being Team CRNL's bitch. Whether you do or don't won't change the fact that the staff will be speaking with team CRNL within three weeks' time."

Jaune watched his professor leave the field. He wasn't sure what he should do. He wanted to tell team CRNL or more specifically, Cardin Winchester just where to shove his homework, but Cardin was really big and would just kick his ass. Then a thought occurred to Jaune.

"Whether you do or don't won't change the fact that the staff will be speaking with team CRNL within three weeks' time."

Jaune soon found a smile that eerily similar to Naruto's gracing his face. He would go ahead and continue to do the extra assignments for Team CRNL. Why? Because he was already used to doing five people's work. But the real kicker was the fact that for every one assignment Jaune did that would be one more assignment Team CRNL would have to scramble to finish in order to avoid dropping out.

Jaune stood up with a smile. Perhaps coming to Beacon wasn't too bad after all. All he needed to do was be a little more patient.

XxX

Weiss stood alone in Team RWBY's bathroom doing what the rest of the team called her "Thirty Minutes of Princess Pampering". She just called it "Weiss time". There seemed to be so very few opportunities for someone to just sit back and enjoy some time alone. Sure there were plenty of places where one could find some form of quiet. But true isolation? Freedom from the agonizing frustrations that came from dealing with the uncivilized, unprofessional, and immature? Or in Weiss' case, the Faunus on campus, Naruto, and half her team plus Naruto…that could only be found in a private bathroom.

That wasn't to say that Weiss hated or even disliked her team. She got along with them all well enough and the blonde idiot that was her commander had proven himself capable…occasionally. They could just be so aggravating sometimes. The Schnee heiress sighed. Why couldn't her commander have been Professor Goodwitch? They had quite a lot in common from what the young heiress could see.

Idly her hand came up to trace the jagged scar that ran just on the outside of her left eye. The feeling of the uneven skin snapped her out of her ponderings. She hated looking at the scar, hated touching it. Just knowing it was there was enough to send her feelings through the grinder and what came out was always a mess of negativity and painful memories. Try as she might, she couldn't ignore it. It was there every time she looked in the mirror. Serving the exact purpose it was intended for.

"Remember well, Weiss. You are a Schnee before all else! You must be perfect in everything you do! If you wish to pursue this folly, then you will bear the scars to remind you of every failure!"

Those had been her father's words.

She hated them.

She hated the scar on her face.

She hated the memories it brought up.

She glared bitterly at her reflection. Because despite all the things she hated, there was one thing that stood out above all else. The one thing she hated more than anything was-

"Weiss! You've been in there long enough! Now hurry up before Ruby pees in her pajamas! She's already started doing that little dance." Yang's voice called out from the other side of the door. The young heiress could hear her teammate whining to her older sister for saying something so embarrassing out loud.

Weiss rolled her eyes before leaving the bathroom. Thirty minutes of alone time truly wasn't enough.

XxX

"Hmm," Naruto hummed quietly as he stared down at the mission scroll in his hands. Classes had concluded for the day and just before Naruto could book it to the mess hall for his third infusion of rameny goodness, Ozpin had called him up to his office.

"I was expecting you to say-" The Headmaster of Beacon started before being cut off by his youngest staff member.

"So how many greased palms did it take for this steaming pile of Grimm shit to make its way into Beacon?"

Ozpin rolled his eyes. That was more like the Naruto he knew. Grimacing as he recalled the results of his investigations, he answered. "Too many. Needless to say, they've been let go."

"And were most likely picked right back up by the Schnee Company."

Ozpin frowned, revealing just how true Naruto's accusations were. "Odds are the Schnee Dust Company wishes to ensure their silence. As you should know, silence never ends with just one payment."

"Tamamo wouldn't sell any of my secrets even if I did stop sleeping with her. At least, not the ones I really wish to keep." Naruto defended knowing exactly who Ozpin had been referring to.

"True," He conceded. "But that hasn't stopped her from blackmailing you a few times in regards to other things…" Ozpin trailed off as he reached into his top desk drawer and withdrew a familiar book, "The Glass Slipper" and waved it at him. "…isn't that right, Mr. Bakatchu?"

Naruto frowned in annoyance at his boss. Ozpin had been one of only a handful who managed to figure out his pen name and the prick just loved lording it over the blonde. Not that the Headmaster would actually spill that secret, Naruto was already a big enough celebrity without the title of "World Renowned Author". It was all good though. Plans were in motion to pay Ozzy back. Even if meant burning alongside the Headmaster, Naruto would call it a price well paid if it meant getting Ozpin to stop teasing him about his alternative and arguably primary source of income. The joys of a teacher's salary…there were none.

But that was neither here nor there. Thus, Naruto felt it necessary to move the meeting along. "So why bother showing it to me? Deny it for violating Beacon's mission policies and send it back. A "fuck you" would be optional, but highly encouraged."

Ozpin sighed in annoyance. "Why must you insist on being so difficult?"

"Because you insist on playing games," Naruto responded, equally annoyed. The two glared at each other for a moment before Naruto backed down. Like it or not, Ozzy was his boss and the blonde did respect the man, no matter how little he showed it at times. "Fine, I'll see what the team thinks about this. But just for the record, I'm calling this a bad idea."

"Could it truly be any worse than ignoring it only for Ms. Schnee to learn you knew about this mission and chose to refrain from saying anything?"

Naruto blanched at that. Weiss could be difficult at the best of times, he'd absolutely hate seeing what she would be like should she actually have something to legitimately bitch about. "Point taken, I'll be sure to drop in on them before the day ends."

"That's all I ask," Ozpin replied. Truth be told, he wasn't keen on this mission either. However, the Schnee name was not to be taken lightly and at least one member of Team RWBY would have a personal claim to this. Denying the mission may have been both the right and smart thing to do, but it could also open the door for greater trouble down the line. Such was the nature of politics.

XxX

The sun had just finished setting and the four girls of Team RWBY were spending their time lounging around in their room. Even though lights out wouldn't be for another hour or so, the four usually took the time after dinner to relax and either finish some schoolwork or do whatever helped them settle down after a long, boring day of classes. Ruby was resting on her bed going over her homework and making sure she was satisfied with her answers. Blake was also resting on her bed reading a book. Yang was off to the side of the room where she merrily danced with her eyes closed to the music pumping through her headphones. Weiss was standing by her dresser only in her school skirt and white, lacy bra. She had just gotten in after doing some independent research in the library and was getting changed for the evening. She had just pulled out her pajama top when the door to their room suddenly opened.

"Good evening, girls! How are you all feeling this fine evening?" Naruto exclaimed as he stood in the doorway.

"What the hell!?" Weiss shouted doing her best to cover herself. "Are you blind? Shut the damn door!"

Naruto looked over at her with a raised eyebrow before quickly snapping back into action. "Whoops! Sorry, Weiss."

He stepped fully into the room before shutting the door.

"And get out!" The Schnee heiress shouted.

Now Naruto gave her a look of confusion. "But then I'd have to open the door."

Weiss was seething. Blake lowered her book just enough to glance over at her teammate. "You know, it would be faster to just put your clothes on than trying to fight his intentional idiocy."

"Yang, Blake's being mean to me!" Naruto whined. Yang however, was still in her own little world as she danced to the beat only she could hear. Seeing his fellow prankster wasn't paying him any mind, he turned to what he saw as his next best source of support. "Ruby, Blake is being mean to me!"

Ruby hopped off her bed and approached Naruto's side giving him a few comforting pats. "There, there."

Weiss gave the whole room an icy glare before quickly pulling her pajama top on while Naruto was being comforted by Ruby. "Why are you all so calm!? What if he'd come in while we were naked?"

Naruto stood up straight and answered in all seriousness. "If that were to happen I would gladly burn the image into my brain before I fall victim to the unholy feminine wrath that would follow."

"What he said," Blake said as she turned the page of her book.

"Yup!" Ruby happily agreed despite the slight dusting of pink on her cheeks. A boy seeing her naked? Talk about embarrassing.

Weiss gave them a frustrated groan. Rounding on her team's commander, she waspishly asked. "And just what was so important that you had to barge into our room this late in the evening? So help me, if you just came in hopes of getting a free show-"

Naruto took that moment to cut her off. "I'd watch the pervert accusations if I were you. I'm not the one who passes their time reading smut."

"It's erotic literature!" Three affronted voices shouted. Their combined volume serving to get Yang's attention.

"Huh? Naruto? When did you get here?" She asked. A quick survey of the room revealed her teammates giving her fellow blonde three intense glares. "And what did I miss?"

Naruto hummed thoughtfully as he ignored the others ire. "Hmm, well Weiss was stripping at the start, then Blake started being mean to me. Ruby was being her sweet, innocent, little self for a while, but now she's glaring at me for some odd reason."

Yang looked at Weiss.

"He barged in when I was changing!" She coldly stated as she crossed her arms.

Yang nodded, that would explain why she was still in her school skirt. She then looked to Blake.

"After barging in, he was purposely being difficult when he realized the state Weiss was in." The black hair girl of Team RWBY calmly answered as she continued reading. Naruto blew a raspberry at her whilst Blake ignored his immaturity.

Yang nodded once more. That certainly sounded like something Naruto would do if he caught them in some compromising situation. Finally, she turned to look at her younger sister.

"He insulted Mr. Bakatchu's generous gift to the people of the world!"

Yang rolled her eyes. Clearly that was the gravest offense the Prince could have been responsible for.

For the sake of the group, she chose to ignore Weiss' issue as the girl would probably rather forget it ever happened. Naruto's complaint towards Blake was an over exaggeration to begin with, so that wasn't worth even a second thought. Thus, in order for serenity to be achieved, Yang decided to focus on her little sister's complaint.

"Come on, Prince. You can't tell me you've never read one of Gama Bakatchu's stories."

Naruto rocked back and forth on his heels as he gave her a mischievous smile. "That's exactly what I'm saying."

Naruto didn't read the stories, he wrote them. Proofreading didn't count since they were talking about reading for pleasure.

"Doesn't mean I don't know what happens in all four of them."

"He only has three books published," Blake stated not looking away from her own book.

"Oh! That's right. My bad," Naruto said a bit too quickly. He forgot his fourth book wasn't out yet and wouldn't be until sometime next semester. The girls gave him an odd look that he nervously tried to laugh off before choosing to steer the conversation towards safer waters. "Matters of smut-"

"Erotic literature!" Weiss and Ruby yelled.

"-aside," Naruto continued, dismissing the interruption. "A request has made it to the Headmaster's office and Ozzy wanted me to bring it to you four to decide whether or not we accept."

Blake looked up from her book. "I thought missions were mandatory. Since the missions are filtered before making it to Beacon."

The frown on Naruto's face told them enough.

"This didn't go through the normal screening process, did it?" Weiss, ever the sharp one asked.

"Bingo," their commander confirmed. Naruto reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a deactivated scroll before tossing it to Weiss. "I'm sure you can figure out why we are taking a rather unconventional approach towards this request." He emphasized. Missions were mandatory, this was optional.

The other three members of Team RWBY approached Weiss to look at the scroll over her shoulder while Naruto leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, patiently waiting. Weiss gave him an inquisitive look before activating the scroll. What it revealed surprised all four of them.

"Head to the attached coordinates, mission briefing will occur on location," Ruby read aloud.

"Hey, isn't this an S-class mission?" Yang asked.

Naruto nodded. Any time a mission came without a debriefing it was treated as an S-class. It didn't even matter if it was something as stupid as cleaning toilets. No one liked walking into a situation blindly.

"And Professor Ozpin wanted our approval?" Blake asked. Seeing Naruto nod she couldn't help but ask. "Why?"

Naruto noticed the look on Weiss' face and said. "That is the million lien question and it looks like Weiss has the answer."

The three girls turned to the Schnee heiress and saw her body trembling slightly. Not badly enough to be readily noticeable, but certainly enough for those who knew her to see.

"It-it's from the Schnee Dust Company." She answered before biting her lower lip. She looked back at the goggled blonde and asked. "Why would my family's company send a mission to Beacon without using the proper channels?"

Naruto shrugged, "I honestly don't know any more than you. All I can really add is that it was coming our way. The fact that it was caught before it could officially be assigned to us is the only reason Ozzy wants to hear your thoughts on the situation."

"What would have happened if it had been officially assigned to us?" Ruby asked.

Blake answered for Naruto, "We would have been forced to complete the mission. Missions handled by students are cheaper for the contractor and considered good learning experiences for the students themselves."

Their teacher nodded in agreement before elaborating. "It's the reason for the screening process. Should your request be accepted, you get a full team of students plus their advisor at a fraction of the cost you'd pay for an active Hunter. The only downsides to submitting a request to Beacon, is being turned down and the time you spend waiting for the screening process to assess your mission and find an appropriate team. It's not often a mission comes to Beacon that shouldn't have. But those few that do, usually do so because of someone not paying attention during the screening process. This mission however…" he paused to gesture at the scroll in Weiss' hands. "Made it as far as it did because a lot of bribes were made to make it so."

Team RWBY looked back at the scroll before returning their gaze to the only guy in the room.

"You don't sound very happy." Blake commented.

Naruto uncrossed his arms before pushing off the wall. "I'm not. An S-class mission has no place in Beacon and yet here it is, in the hands of the very team it was being streamlined to. I didn't even want to bring it to you four, but Ozzy did have a point. This mission is likely related to you, Weiss and as a member of Team RWBY, you four should have a say on the matter."

Blake, Yang, and Ruby looked at the Schnee heiress only to see her biting her lower lip as she hesitantly glanced at them each in turn. Weiss understood the potential dangers of an S-class mission and she didn't want to ask her friends to risk their lives over what could possibly be a personal matter for her. Ever since she made the decision to become a Huntress, her father had thrown all manner of tests and challenges for her to overcome in an attempt to break her of what he considered a fool's errand. Weiss Schnee was a member of the upper echelons of society, she had no place on the battlefield. At least, that was how her father viewed things.

"C-c-could we," Weiss started. She wanted to have time to think it over. Of course no amount of thinking would matter if the rest of the team was…

"We'll do it!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Huh!?" Weiss managed to gasp out at Ruby's sudden declaration. A look at her fellow members showed her nothing but understanding smiles.

"This matters a lot to you. Right, Weiss?" She asked. "I'm sure if we were ever in need of help you'd be willing to do the same for us!"

"Yeah!" Yang readily agreed.

"We are a team after all," Blake added with a smaller smile than the other two.

Weiss didn't know how to respond, but the large smile and slight watering of her eyes conveyed the message easily enough.

Naruto sighed as he looked towards the ground. Shaking his head, he looked back up at the four and smiled. "Well at least I can be proud that you four are on the right track. That being said…" Naruto turned to glance at Team RWBY's leader. "Ruby, I'm relieving you of command for the duration of this mission."

"What!?" Ruby asked, her face pale from shock. The other three looked just as surprised at Naruto's declaration.

"Weiss," He continued. Weiss was quick to snap to attention. "You will be Team RWBY's leader for this mission."

"Huh!?" Weiss exclaimed.

"I expect you all to get plenty of rest. We leave bright and early tomorrow." Naruto said before turning and exiting the room.

"W-wait!" Ruby said before chasing after him leaving the other three in the room, too shocked by Naruto's decision.

Despite having followed the blonde out of the room almost immediately after he had departed, Naruto was still a fair way down the hall and had just rounded the corner. Ruby was hot on his tail. She rounded the corner at full speed…and promptly into someone's chest. Before she completely lost her balance, two strong hands gripped her shoulders and held her steady.

"Easy there, Red." Naruto chided softly. "You should never run around a corner, especially during a chase. Otherwise, you make yourself an easy target."

"R-right," She muttered uncertainly while glancing at the floor.

"I am glad you followed me though," He said, prompting Ruby to look up. "I know what this is about and didn't feel it was a conversation for anyone other than the two of us."

"Ummm..."

That was all that really came to Ruby's mind.

"So, why did I give Weiss the role of leader?" Naruto said aloud as he placed his hands behind his head and interlocked his fingers. "To be honest, there is no simple answer. I had a number of factors come up that made me choose Weiss over you."

Ruby had to know. "Like what?"

"Well, the primary reason is simple enough. We're going on a mission for the Schnee Dust Company. Weiss has a personal investment in this mission and even though the details are currently nonexistent, she will likely be knowledgeable about a number of factors that we aren't aware of," Naruto started. "Secondly, she has questioned your leadership in the past and that means she will be more likely to do so during this particular mission."

"But we worked that out…" Ruby said demurely.

"That was then, this is now. Had this been a regular, school issued mission I don't doubt she would follow your lead. But like I said, this mission…" Naruto trailed off.

"…Is personal." The young rosette finished.

"Exactly."

"But what if that clouds her judgement?"

The blonde snorted, "Weiss is in charge of the team, but even she has to answer to someone and that is me. I can reign her in and take over if I feel she lets things get out of hand."

"I see," Ruby whispered to herself.

Naruto smiled and ruffled her hair getting a cute pout out of her. "Don't worry your pretty little head over this, Ruby. This may not have gone the way either of us expected our first mission would go, but it is what it is. Focus instead on what you can do to support Weiss and the rest of the team."

Ruby beamed at her commander and nodded.

As Naruto walked away he said, "And make sure the team goes to sleep as soon as you get back to your room. We leave before first light."

Ruby's smile instantly vanished.

XxX

It was just shy of five in the morning and four members of Team RWBY were hunched over trying their hardest to stay awake as they waited for the Bullhead that would take them to Vale. That and their commanding officer.

"Good morning girls!" Naruto cheerfully greeted much to the team's annoyance.

Yang groaned, "How are you so upbeat?"

"I raided Oobleck's stash as I finished preparations for our departure." Naruto proudly stated before holding up a small tray with four steaming cups. "Coffee?"

Needless to say, those cups were gone in seconds.

"What took you so long!?" Weiss exclaimed more awake than before.

Naruto turned his head and innocently said. "Super-secret teacher stuff."

Yang turned to her partner and whispered, "Five lien says that's Naruto-speech for 'I did something that will get me in big trouble, but will blow over before I return'."

"No bet," Blake dryly replied.

Naruto clapped his hands as the Bullhead arrived. "So shall we go?"

It was a short trip to Vale's airport and from there the team took a cab to the train station to find a single streamlined locomotive with two cars attached to it. The four girls stared dumbfounded at the train before them. Finally, Blake said the one thing they were all thinking. "…It's orange."

"Awesome, right?" Naruto asked. "Welcome to the Uzumaki Express! My own personal train."

"You have your own train?" Weiss questioned. He nodded. "How can you even afford that!?"

"I have my ways." He grinned mischievously.

"Ten lien-"

"No bet."

Yang pouted at her partner's immediate refusal.

Naruto led his team on board the first car and gave them a brief tour. "Down this hall you'll find two rooms on your right and one room at the end. The two rooms I first mentioned have a pair of cots you can use to catch up on your beauty rest. Seeing as we have a six hour trip ahead of us, I recommend you four get some sleep. Especially since you'll be crashing from Oobleck's coffee in say…" He glanced at his team noting how their eyes were starting to droop and their shoulders were becoming hunched. "…ten more minutes or so. If you wake up before we reach our destination or need me for something I'll be in the room at the front of the car and since we passed the bathroom on the way here, I doubt you need me to point it out again." He finished before walking to the end of the hall.

Yang let out a yawn as she and Blake made their way to the first room, "You'd think with how active Professor Oobleck is, his coffee would have us buzzing for the rest of the day."

"Why do you think he drinks so much of that crap?" Her fellow blonde called over his shoulder.

Weiss and Ruby followed Naruto down the hall, but when they reached their room only Ruby entered. The Schnee heiress looked between the room her partner practically dragged herself into before glancing at her commander's back. If she were being completely honest, she was just as tired as the rest of her team, if not more so. The nerves of going on her first official mission as a Huntress as well as being named leader had made sleep rather difficult the night before.

"Weiss?" Ruby called.

Weiss looked back at her teammate. "Get some rest, Ruby. I need to go over some things with, Commander Uzumaki."

The rosette gave her partner a curious look. "You know he hates formalities. Besides, you look like you need rest too."

"I'm fine!" She snapped before letting out a sigh. "Sorry. It's just, this is our first mission, Ruby. We should be taking this seriously."

Ruby watched Weiss head towards the room Naruto had pointed out last with a small frown. Like her teammate, she was just as nervous about their first mission. However, her talk with Naruto the night before had eased a lot of that tension. Sighing, she shut the door to their room and flopped on the cot. She hoped Naruto would be able to help Weiss relax.

Weiss for her part had just entered what she thought was Naruto's room, but instead found it to be a spacious room complete with sofas, a television, bookshelves loaded with all kinds of books, a minibar, and even a freaking pinball machine! It was like one of the Schnee family's personal transports and once more she found herself wondering just how the hell Naruto could even afford such a setup. Further observations were cut short when she heard said blonde's voice.

"Oi, granny! We're ready to go." Naruto said into a speaker on the wall.

"Yeah, yeah," Came the gruff response of an older woman. "Why the hell am I doing this again?"

"Because you're an old drunk who owes me a hell of a lot of favors and-"

"Keep giving me shit and I'll come back there and plant your face into the ground!"

Naruto continued not the least bit phased by the woman's threat. "And I have Tamamo on speed dial ready to tell every debt collector in Remnant where they can find you."

Silence reigned for a full ten seconds.

"…I'll be good."

Naruto smirked as the train lurched forward. He turned around to see Weiss standing by the door. Arching his eyebrow at her, he said. "I know I mentioned I'd be here if you needed me, but you really should be getting some rest, Weiss."

"I just wanted to go over some things for the mission." The Schnee heiress said as she watched Naruto make his way over to the minibar where he grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine.

"There isn't much to go over right now," He said as he poured two glasses. Putting the wine away he grabbed the wine filled glasses and approached Team RWBY's temporary leader. "Here."

"It's not even six in the morning!" She exclaimed. Naruto handed her the glass anyway.

"Relax, it's just one glass and the alcohol will help ease your nerves. Now come and sit down."

The two headed over to the sofa and sat on opposite ends. Weiss glanced at the glass of wine in her hand before looking back at Naruto to see him already taking a sip. Sighing in resignation, she brought the glass to her nose and took a sniff of its aroma before immediately looking at Naruto in shock. "This is a Mantle Black Vintage!"

Her commander smirked as he took another sip before saying, "I knew you'd be able to appreciate its quality."

"Can I have some?" Came the voice from the speaker.

Naruto turned and glared at the wall, "Your definition of some would the rest of the bottle! So, hell no!"

Weiss was still shocked at the wine she was holding. A single bottle of Mantle Black Vintage ran for a couple thousand lien. That was the kind of wine you saved for a serious celebration! Like someone showing up after being presumed dead for over ten years serious.

"Okay, tell me now! How can you afford all this!?" Weiss nearly shouted. "There is no way in hell you can pay for all this on a teacher's budget! Hell you couldn't even afford this even if you were the most successful Hunter in all of Remnant!"

A snort came from the speaker, "Are you kidding? Do you know just who that brat is? His boo-"

"Hi, Tamamo," Naruto loudly spoke as though he were talking to the woman on his scroll, even though it wasn't turned on. "What's the current bounty for information on Tsunade Senju's whereabouts?"

"Shutting up."

The connection from the speaker quickly shut off after that.

"What was she about to say?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Naruto chuckled nervously. "As to your question, I didn't buy it. I won it and two other bottles like it in a card game. Now hurry up and drink. Someone with your refined palate should know not to waste wine of that quality."

Weiss gave him a shrewd stare before taking his advice. She took a small sip and savored the flavor on her tongue before swallowing. Soon after, she began to relax as she basked in the pleasure of enjoying the finest of wines. "You know this is only the second time I've ever had the chance to taste a Mantle Black Vintage."

"The experience never truly leaves you, huh?"

Weiss hummed her agreement before having another sip. They spent the next thirty minutes discussing the finer points of wine tasting. A discussion that left the Schnee heiress pleasantly surprised as she had never imagined someone as rough and immature as Naruto to have such a deep knowledge on wine. Before long her glass was empty and all her concerns and worries for the mission were all but forgotten allowing her exhaustion and the alcohol to ease her to sleep. Naruto smiled at his student before grabbing her glass and placing it on the nearby table. He then got up and carefully repositioned Weiss so that she was laying fully on the couch.

He grabbed both glasses and headed over to the minibar to wash them out. His plan to distract Weiss from dwelling on what was to come had worked perfectly. He had seen the bags under her eyes clear as day when he had first approached the team that morning and knew she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Part of him mourned having to use his best wine to do it because those bottles were seriously expensive, not to mention rare. But a larger part of him considered it a small sacrifice since it had helped one of his students.

Pulling out his scroll, Naurto started going over what he could in regards to the mission. The train would only carry them so far. They would have to drive the rest of the way as the facility was still a good thirty minutes away from where they'd be getting off. Best to have the course plotted out before they reached it.

The blonde grunted in frustration, due to the legitimate fear of a White Fang attack, the facility had been built in what was pretty much the middle of nowhere and the only way to and from the facility had been a series of landing pads. His original plan had been to take a Bullhead to their destination, but it was quickly cast away when he learned the facilities anti-air defenses had been targeting any and all airships indiscriminately. It was one of the few details he managed to get out of the Schnee Dust Company after the team had accepted the mission. This meant they would be off-roading it once they got off the train. Something he suspected would please Yang greatly.

As he continued studying the map of the surrounding area, he idly wondered how his gift to Ozzy went.

XxX

Glynda Goodwitch was a creature of habit. At six she woke up and prepared for the day. By six twenty she was dressed and headed to the faculty room to collect whatever reports needed to be addressed by the Headmaster. At six thirty she entered the Headmasters office with the reports and a hot cup of coffee. She would then wait fifteen minutes for Professor Ozpin to arrive.

It was during this wait that Glynda noticed something was off in the Headmaster's office. There, sitting innocently on his desk was a book with a note attached to it. Glynda was not the curious sort, but this was an abnormality in her routine and so she decided to take a little peek at the note.

Dear Ozzy,

Here is that book you blackmailed me into writing (you bastard). As per our agreement it is the only copy in existence and if you publish this I will flay you alive! Also remember, you promised that Glynda will NEVER see this book and that should she ever find it, you would accept full responsibility.

All my hate,

Naruto

Now let it be said once more for the record, Glynda was not a curious sort by nature, but even she had her limits and so she set the note aside and read the cover of the book, "The Naughty Professor". Glynda's eyebrow twitched as she, being the intelligent woman that she was could already guess what the book was. Picking it up, she started reading the first few pages. Her anger growing with the turn of every page.

Like clockwork, Ozpin entered his office fifteen minutes later and quickly noted the drop in temperature. He glanced over at the only other occupant in the room to see Glynda holding a book with one hand and her riding crop in the other. The glare she gave him had him sweating profusely.

"I don't suppose the words 'I'm innocent' will save me from whatever has angered you?" He hesitantly asked.

"Not in the slightest." Was her response.

Ten minutes and a lot of pain later Glynda left the Headmaster's office, book in hand. She descended down the elevator and stomped her way through the campus back to her office. Anyone that saw her quickly ran for cover. When she finally reached the sanctity of her office she shut the door and immediately locked it. She threw a suspicious gaze around the room before letting out an uncharacteristic squeal and hugged the book to her chest.

She, like Professor Ozpin was aware of Naruto's alias as Gama Bakatchu and would never openly admit she was a huge fan of his. She glanced down at the book in her arms reverently, as any true fan of Gama Bakatchu she recognized the value of the book. It was the only copy! She knew that much for certain because she knew as well as Naruto did that had he published a book with her likeness as the heroine he would never write another book again. On account of him being dead. That meant this book was easily the most priceless book in all of existence! At least, as far as she was concerned.

She quickly rushed to her desk and sat down before opening the book to the page she had left off at. As she continued reading, a single thought pervaded her mind. How had Naruto gotten her three sizes?

"Oh who cares," She said to herself as she continued reading.

XxX

Over the course of the next four and a half hours, Blake, Yang, and Ruby would enter the lounge and glance around in shock. Before any of them could say anything, Naruto would shush them and tell them to be quiet since Weiss was still sleeping. This proved easy for Blake and Ruby as Blake passed the time reading one of the many books from Naruto's library and Ruby spent her time watching television while listening through headphones. Yang proved problematic as she saw the pinball machine that was practically calling out to her. She decided to show her displeasure by hanging off of Naruto's shoulders and moaning her complaints.

"Just wake her up already," She whined.

"For the…" Naruto paused as he tried to remember what number they were on.

"Forty seventh."

"Thanks, Blake." He said before turning to look at Yang still hanging off his shoulders. "For the forty seventh time, no. Ask again and I'm giving you a haircut."

Yang's eyes flashed red, "You wouldn't dare."

The two had a stare off that ended with Naruto drawing one of his throwing knives. An act that sent his fellow blonde scurrying away to hide behind her sister. Ruby looked surprised by her sister's sudden appearance and pulled her headphones off. "Yang?"

"Ruby, Naruto is being mean to me." Her older sister whined.

Ruby patted her sister's shoulder. "There, there."

Blake remembered a similar scene playing out the night before. Shaking her head and returning to her book, she muttered. "Must be a blonde thing."

Weiss groaned from her place on the sofa before slowly sitting up.

"Oh Dust! Thank you!" Yang cheered before rushing over to the pinball machine.

"Huh?" The young heiress asked sleepily. She quickly noticed the other members of her team were in the lounge and soon remembered that she fell asleep. She quickly stood up far more alert than before. "How long was I out? Are we there yet?"

"Relax," Naruto said as he came over and handed her a glass of water. "We still have another hour."

"Then we should-"

"Listen to your commander and try to settle down," He said, cutting her off. "There's nothing more we can do until we get there."

"But-," Weiss stopped as Naruto held out a scroll to her. Putting the water aside she took it and studied the display.

"I've already mapped out the quickest route from the train tracks to the facility. The best thing you can do is take a page from your teammates' book and try to enjoy the rest of the trip."

Weiss seemingly ignored Naruto as she double-checked his route before finally admitting to herself that it was indeed the fastest one available. Sighing, she apologized. "It just feels like I should be doing more."

The commander of Team RWBY nodded in understanding. "The waiting game is always the worst. Why else do you think I invested in this train? Now why don't you go find something to read? I doubt you'd be interested in anything Ruby is watching and Yang probably won't let anyone near that pinball machine for the rest of the trip."

"There's no 'probably' about it, Prince! That high score is as good as mine!"

Naruto snorted, "Fat chance, you know how many hours I've invested in that-"

Suddenly the pinball machine lit up with the words "NEW HIGH SCORE" flashing across the screen.

"So fast!" Naruto shouted while Yang just gave him a cheeky grin.

"You may be the Prince of Beacon, but I'm the Queen of Pinball," She said giving him a double victory pose. However, her pose cost her as she lost her first ball. She cried in dismay before focusing on the game once more.

Weiss just sighed at her team's antics.

XxX

The final hour of the trip passed relatively quickly for the group and it wasn't long before they felt the train begin to slow down. Naruto stood up and clapped his hands gathering everyone's attention. "All right girls, this is where we will be disembarking. If you have to go to the bathroom, I suggest you do so now since the rest of the trip will be pretty bumpy."

Ruby paled as she recalled the last time she shared a "bumpy ride" with Naruto. With a quick application of her semblance, she rushed to the lavatory with a cry of, "Me first!"

The other three girls of Team RWBY decided to follow after the rosette as they still had another half-hour to travel and would likely not have a chance to use the restroom once the mission truly started.

Naruto watched them leave before heading over to the speaker. "Oi, Granny. We'll be leaving shortly. Stay away from my booze or I'll take it out of your paycheck! And if you so much as look at the Mantle Black I will quit my job as a teacher and make my new profession in life, ruining yours!"

"Yeah, yeah. Read your loud and clear, brat." Tsunade responded. The blonde nodded before turning to head out only to be stopped by the older woman's voice. "…Are you sure my presence won't be needed?"

"Honestly? I don't know," He admitted. "But I didn't ask you here to fight. I just want you standing by should any of them get hurt."

"If that's the case, then it's a waste keeping me cooped up in this train."

Naruto shrugged, not that Tsunade could see it, "You're probably right about it being a waste, but you seem to be overlooking one thing."

"Oh?"

The blonde smirked, "They'll already have me waiting on the sidelines."

XxX

The four girls of Team RWBY looked dumbfounded at the vehicle they would be riding for the rest of the trip. Located in the second car of the train was a large off-road four door truck with a spacious bed, complete with a segmented metal cover…and it was orange…burnt orange with black flamed decals.

"Um…Naruto, I think you may have an unhealthy obsession with the color orange." Ruby nervously pointed out.

"Oi! I don't want to hear that from any of you, missus Red, White, Black, and Yellow!" Naruto protested.

"We don't flaunt our favorite colors nearly as much as you," Blake blandly stated before heading to the back seat. Naruto sulked as he made his way to the driver's side.

Yang gave Weiss a curious look. "Aren't you going to ask him how he can afford this?"

The Schnee heiress shook her head in resignation. "I gave up that inquiry hours ago…Oh and Yang?"

"Hmm?" Yang said as she approached the front seat on the passenger's side. Seeing Weiss' smirk quickly made her realize her mistake.

"Shotgun."

"Shotg-Dammit," Yang said being a split second too late. With a pout she headed to the back. Ruby snickered at her sister before following after her.

Once everyone was situated Naruto told them to buckle up and hit a button on the dashboard that caused the back of the train to open up and a ramp to shoot out. Putting the truck in reverse, he slammed his foot on the accelerator and launched the truck out of the train completely bypassing the ramp. An act that elicited three cries of terror and one cheer from the other members of Team RWBY.

Once the truck hit the ground, Naruto quickly turned it to face the direction of the Schnee Company's facility and put the truck into first gear. Sending a smirk to Weiss who was clinging to the door with one hand and bracing herself against the dash, he glanced into the rearview mirror at his other passengers. Blake and Ruby were holding each other out of fear and Yang was looking right at him with eyes shining in excitement.

"Hold on to your butts," Naruto said before flooring it.

XxX

"For Dust's sake! Can you slow down!?" Weiss shouted. In the backseat, Ruby and Blake were still holding onto each other tightly, crying out every time the truck went airborne while Yang laughed merrily and cheered her fellow blonde on.

"I thought you wanted to get there as fast as possible?" Naruto casually asked as the vehicle vaulted over another hill.

"And in one piece you jackass!"

XxX

Team RWBY finally got their reprieve from Naruto's driving fifteen minutes after they left when they approached a forest with a moderate amount of trees. The trees themselves were sparse enough to drive around them, but still dense enough that it forced their driver to be a little more careful. Weiss took this chance to pull out her scroll and access its radio functions.

"What are you doing?" Ruby asked as she leant forward to get a better look.

"All Schnee Company facilities operate on a private, short-ranged frequency that allows them to communicate with groups outside the facility in the event of an emergency. That's a company secret, by the way. So keep it to yourselves," She explained before continuing. "You can thank the White Fang for the backup communications. They make it a habit of taking out or primary communications when they assault one of our factories."

Only Naruto noticed Blake's brief look of shame.

Once she was tapped in, Weiss began to send a message over the emergency line. "Attention! This is Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company. My team and I are currently in route to the facility and are requesting an update on the current situation. If anyone is listening, please respond!"

The line was filled with static before a shaky voice came over the line, "O-oh thank Dust! M-miss Schnee! This is Doctor Noal, head of cyber-system maintenance! I-I think I'm the only survivor left! Please hurry!"

"The only guy left is head of tech support?" Naruto asked in disbelief.

"I'm more curious how he got a doctorate in tech support." Yang responded.

"Shut up!" Weiss snapped before turning back to the scroll in hand. "Dr. Noal, we're still roughly fifteen minutes out, but we have no information on what is going on at the facility. Any information you can provide could prove essential to our success."

"You mean you don't know!?"

"And we will continue to remain ignorant unless you start talking." Naruto said loud enough for the man to hear.

"R-right! Um, well you see this facility was designed to create a new form of security for the Schnee family's shipping industry. Mr. Schnee was tired of the failures that came from Atlas' defense bots so he had this facility built in secret to develop a new line of security robots."

Team RWBY looked stunned at the news.

"That's illegal weapons research and development." Weiss said in shock. How could her family do this?

"I-it wasn't like we were going to implement them right away," Dr. Noal defended. "Once we had our first series completed, we were going to present a single prototype for military certification."

"That hardly justifies things!" Weiss declared. "What if they failed certification!? We would have a whole bunch of useless not to mention illegal weapons in our possession!"

Naruto already guessed the answer was through bribes.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The good doctor cried. "I wish I could tell you more, but I don't know anything else about production. I was just meant to oversee their programming."

Weiss wanted to continue her interrogation, but was cut off by Naruto. "So what happened? I'm guessing these murderbots went rogue."

"Yes and no," Was his answer. "The SDC-Mk 1's are technically acting as they should. The problem is our Mother Goose."

"What's a Mother Goose?" Ruby asked.

"A virtual intelligence overseer," Naruto answered. "They are used to monitor and operate assembly lines and report any problems to maintenance." He paused for a moment before musing aloud. "I've never heard of one going rogue though."

"I'm not sure what happened either," Dr. Noal admitted. "A Mother Goose has no combat protocols. A hive mind overseer works great for construction, but not when it comes to fighting since you would cripple yourself should anything happen to it. But that's the situation."

The five members of Team RWBY were listening attentively.

"Twelve days ago, Mother Goose started installing a new program into the SDC-Mk 1's programming. Because of the passive nature and reliability of a Mother Goose, we didn't realize the program was being installed until the Mk 1's came online and began attacking the facility two days later," The doctor continued. "Our security team was taken out almost immediately and those of us that weren't caught in the initial attack managed to barricade ourselves at various points around the facility. I was smart enough to make it back to the security command center after Mother Goose's initial attack. If it weren't for the triple layered mag-locks on the doors, I doubt I'd still be alive."

"Wait, you're in the command center?" Weiss asked. "That means you should have control of the facility."

"That was the other reason I ran here," Dr. Noal said proudly. "I've been doing everything I can to hinder Mother Goose. However, as of last night I've been hearing all sorts of noises outside the door. I don't know how much longer I'll be safe here."

"Why would she wait so long to go after you?" Naruto asked as a large building came into sight.

"She's working on something…Something big, but I can't figure out what." Dr. Noal answered apprehensively. "I see your vehicle. I'll monitor your progress and do my best to guide you. But be careful, Mother Goose tried hacking into our systems a few days ago. Her approach was pretty barbaric so I was able to fend her off, but she was able to gain access to the cameras as well as our anti-air defenses."

That answered why they hadn't been able to fly to the facility.

"So everything you can see, she can see." Blake assessed.

"I'm afraid so."

Silence filled the cabin of the truck as the Team digested everything they heard. It was clear to them now just why the mission was made an S-class. The fewer people that knew of the Schnee Company's work with illegal weapons development, the less the company had to cover up.

Weiss clenched her fists in anger. She knew her family had partaken in questionable practices from time to time, but she always defended those deeds as an "ends justify the means" approach. A bitter pill that was made easier to swallow when she pushed the blame onto the White Fang. However, this was something else entirely. While the facility was constructed in response to the constant assaults by that accursed Faunus faction, weapons development went beyond toeing the line of the law. It was corporate dirty laundry and her family's very name was all over it.

Naruto stopped the vehicle just outside the facility allowing the team to get out. However, before Weiss could exit, she felt a strong grip on her wrist and turned to look at her commander with conflicted eyes.

"Don't dwell on what you can't fix," He advised. "Focus on the here and now and deal with the things you can't control later."

Weiss shut her eyes for a moment to collect herself before looking back at Naruto with more determination. She gave him a nod before stepping out of the vehicle. She would take care of this. But not for her father, nor for her family. She would right this wrong for herself.

(End of Chapter 5: Part 1)

Omake Time!

(Omake The Drunk Princess and the Toad Faunus Pt. 1)

A fourteen year old Naruto stumbled his way into town long after the sun had set. He'd been on his own for the last month since he left Jiraiya after their bitter disagreement. Turns out without the pervert's contacts or presence, very few people were willing to take him seriously when he went looking for work. The fact that he was also a Faunus didn't help matters. If that wasn't bad enough, his primary armaments had been destroyed after a harsh battle with some Ursai and he was now stuck with those damn throwing knives. At least they were cheaper to replace.

As he made his way down the main street he came across a scene that inspired some small measure of hope in him. There in the middle of the road was a blonde woman being harassed by a group of four thugs. Maybe if he saved her, she would treat him to a meal!

He took a single step before immediately diving out of the way as one of the thugs was sent flying his way. Naruto looked up in shock as he stared at the woman as she looked with boredom at the three remaining men surrounding her. The three men quickly scrounged up what courage they could muster before charging the woman. Had Naruto not spent the last number of years under Jiraiya's harsh regiment, he would have missed all the key details in favor of the circus act that was now dubbed "The Soaring Trio".

The woman didn't punch or kick her opponents away. She flicked them away with a single finger! And if his eyes weren't deceiving him, which he doubted was even possible what with Faunus having better vision at night than any human, a small light blue spark would appear at the tip of her finger right before a blast of Aura would send her target flying.

How did she do that? Naruto thought before quickly picking himself up and running over to the woman. All thoughts of a free meal were cast aside in favor of learning more about this woman.

"Hey! Hey, lady!" Naruto shouted catching the woman's attention. "How'd you do that? That was so cool! How you sent those idiots flying with just a flick of your finger! I've never seen anything like that and I've seen some crazy stuff!"

The blonde woman looked bewildered before her face returned to its bored countenance. "Great, a fanboy…"

"Oi!"

"Listen, kid. I don't do autographs and my child rearing days have long since passed. In short, I have no time for you." She said before walking off.

Undeterred, Naruto quickly followed. "Who said anything about an autograph? I don't even know who you are."

The woman rounded on him, "You mean you've never heard of Tsunade Senju?"

Naruto gave her a blank look.

"One of the greatest retired Huntresses, not to mention the greatest combat medic in history!?"

Still nothing.

Tsunade growled before hanging her head in resignation. "Kids these days…no respect for the veterans."

"So, how'd you do it?" Naruto asked returning to the whole reason for their conversation.

"That's for me to know and you to never find out," She answered in annoyance. "No go home, your parents are probably worried sick about you being out this late."

She began walking away leaving Naruto standing where he was.

"They're dead," he hollowly stated.

Tsunade stopped and turned to look back at him, "Huh?"

Naruto was looking away before answering. "My parents…they died a while ago. I've been wandering Remnant for about the last five years now…"

Tsunade turned around and took a better look at the kid. His ragged appearance was obvious, but it was the subtle points she was focused on. He was slightly emaciated from not having a proper diet, but she could still see some muscle on his frame. A slight glint at his waist made her take note of the knives strapped to his belt. The way he held himself despite his depression. Everything she saw told her the kid was a fighter and had most certainly been trained at some point. Which begged the question…

"Where's your guardian then?" She asked. "I doubt a kid like you could have survived Remnant all on your own."

"We…" Naruto hesitated. "Had a falling out. He wanted me to be someone I'm not and didn't care about my thoughts on the matter…"

Tsunade was curious about that, but cast it aside. It wasn't any of her business. "Well that sucks, kid. But I stand by my word. I'm not interested in having a sidekick."

She took a few more steps before she felt something latch onto her leg. She looked down with a twitching eyebrow to see the younger blonde gripping her leg with a bear hug.

"So cruel!" Naruto cried as he continued holding her leg. "How can you listen to my sob story and not feel the urge to help me!?"

"Easily!" Taking a few steps and dragging Naruto along. "Let go!"

"No!"

"Do it!"

"Teach me the 'Finger Flick of Awesome'!"

"It's not even called that!"

"I don't care!"

The many passersby watched the duo with a strange fascination as the blonde woman continued dragging the younger blonde down the street. The two of them shouting at each other the whole way.

XxX

Tsunade sat in a bathroom stall panting heavily. The women's restroom was the only safe haven from the blonde little leech! For the past four days that little shit hounded her! She even knocked him unconscious and left him in an alley before running out of town…twice! Whoever trained the brat did a good job teaching him how to track. May that man feel pain a thousand fold!

XxX

On the other side of town, the branch one Jiraiya was standing on overlooking the women's hot spring snapped sending him plummeting into the spring. As he cleared the water from his eyes, he opened them to find the murderous gazes of over a dozen angry Huntresses.

"Somehow…this is all Naruto's fault."

XxX

She even tried using the bathroom window to escape when she discovered he wouldn't actually follow her into one. But the little bastard could sense a person's Aura and chased her down not two minutes later!

Sighing she debated for the umpteenth time the merits of putting a kid into the hospital. Sure she would probably find her reputation taking a hit, but still…she had a lot of stress that needed relieving. But like always, she decided against it. There were just some lines that she wouldn't cross and as annoying as the kid was, he didn't deserve that sort of beating.

Having had enough time to collect her thoughts, Tsunade exited the restroom only to find two cops roughly holding the brat down on the floor.

"Quit squirming you little beast!" One officer said before punching Naruto's face.

"What's going on here!?" Tsunade said, alarmed at the rather harsh treatment.

The cop that struck Naruto stood up and gave her a charming smile. "Don't worry ma'am. We caught this Faunus before he could think of doing anything perverse."

"I was just leaning against the wall waiting for-"

"Shut up!" The cop said before kicking Naruto's side getting a pained grunt from the boy. Before she realized what she was doing, Tsunade walked up on the cop and strongly gripped his shoulder. The man winced as he looked back at her.

"That kid," She emphasized whilst glaring at the cop. If she couldn't beat the kid to within an inch of his life, this guy sure as hell wasn't going to. Especially not for some reason as petty as 'being a Faunus'. "Is with me. He was merely waiting for me to finish my business. Or are you saying its common practice in this town for grown women to take teenage boys into the bathroom with them."

The cop began to panic as he felt her grip on his shoulder tighten. "N-no, ma'am."

"Then I suggest you let him go."

The cop still holding Naruto down quickly got off and let the boy get up. Tsunade released the man she was holding before grabbing Naruto's arm and leading him away.

"W-wait just one moment," The cop she had been speaking to called out. Tsunade glared at him over her shoulder. "Y-you're Tsunade Senju. Correct?"

"What of it?"

"N-nothing." He quickly replied as he watched the pair walk away before pulling out his scroll.

XxX

Once they were a few blocks away, Tsunade let Naruto go. "That is the first and last time I will save your ass, brat. Now get lost. Because the next time you get in trouble with the law, you're on your own."

"…Understood…" Naruto whispered. The hits from the cop didn't hurt nearly as much as the discrimination. Jiraiya had always bared the brunt whenever it happened in the past, but he hadn't had that shield for the past month and it still left him feeling raw.

Tsunade was surprised by the kid's turnaround in attitude, but figured it ultimately didn't matter since she was now about to get the freedom she had desperately sought. However, before she could even take five steps a series of vehicles came speeding down the road ahead of and behind her. The many vans and cars quickly surrounded the pair before unloading a small army of men in black suits wielding weapons of all types.

"Well, well, well…" Said the apparent leader as he took a few steps forward while swinging a chain. "Looks like that cop's info was right after all."

Naruto started to panic thinking they were a bunch of Faunus haters. Tsunade looked at the group nervously knowing exactly who they were. Debt collectors.

"I didn't think you'd ever have the guts to show your face round here again, Tsunade."

All the panic Naruto was feeling evaporated instantly only to be replaced with confusion. "Huh? Why are they after you?"

Tsunade gave him a rueful chuckle, "Well, you see…a couple years ago, when I last visited this town…I may have lost a little bit of money gambling with some…unsavory people."

"2.3 million lien!" The de facto leader of the group shouted angrily.

Naruto gave his fellow blonde a deadpanned stared. "A little bit of money?"

"And we're here to collect! But this goes beyond money now. Now, we're going to take it from your pretty little hide! You and the little Faunus brat!"

"Hey, don't look at me," Naruto said holding his hands up in surrender before gesturing to Tsunade. "She just told me to get lost. Something about not wanting a sidekick."

"Traitor!" Tsunade shouted. Naruto just gave her a cheeky look.

The leader of the mob seemed to consider his options before shrugging. "In that case, you're free to go. Beating you is pointless if she doesn't care about you. Besides, even I can see you got some skill on ya. You wouldn't be worth the trouble of beating if you plan on staying out of this." He paused as if considering something. "Besides, the bitch will be hard enough to take down. The less help she has, the better."

It was in that moment, inspiration struck Tsunade.

"Oi, brat." She spoke softly so only Naruto could hear. "You help me here and with any debt collectors in the future and I'll teach you that technique you wanted to learn so badly."

"You swear it?" He asked just as softly.

"On my honor-"

Naruto snorted, "That means little coming from an old drunk buried in gambling debts."

"As a Huntress you little shit!" She finished harshly. Truth be told, Tsunade could probably handle this mob herself. But considering just how outnumbered she was, she knew there was still a chance of someone getting a lucky shot. If that happened, things would just go downhill from there. If not now, then later with the next group to track her down.

"In that case," Naruto said punching his open hand. "Consider me your own personal bodyguard…Granny."

Tsunade growled in annoyance. She'd kick his ass later for that remark. After all, it was perfectly okay to beat a kid in her book when you were the one "training" them.

(End of The Drunk Princess and the Toad Faunus Pt. 1)

XxX

(Omake 2 Operation Three Sizes)

Glynda was walking down the streets of Vale as she performed a series of tasks for Beacon Academy. It was par the course for her to go into town every second Saturday to place or pickup any orders Beacon made over the course of the past two weeks. While it was entirely possible to do this through her scroll and various shipping industries, Glynda always liked handling the smaller affairs face to face. There was a measure of satisfaction she felt every time she interacted with the good men and women who helped keep Beacon running from the shadows.

She was making her way to her sixth stop of the day. Hands full with various bags when it happened. Her danger sense went off and before she could react a small ball landed at her feet before exploding into a large dark cloud.

A smoke bomb!? She questioned before she was assaulted.

Two small, dainty hands grabbed her ass from behind causing a startled gasp from the blonde professor before circling to her hips and finally pulling away. Despite her hands being loaded, she was a trained Huntress and responded to the attack as one would expect. Pivoting on her feet and using the weight of her bags to increase her momentum, Glynda raised one high heel clad foot and struck with a harsh roundhouse kick at her attacker. She felt a bit of satisfaction when her foot connected and she heard someone, a man cry out in pain.

However, victory wasn't found just yet. Once again two small hands grabbed her waist and rubbed it up and down prompting a blush and gasp out of the teacher before they pulled away. Of course there was another attacker! Being mindful of the bags she was still holding, she threw her weight forward into a front flip whilst using the heel of right foot to strike the chin of the second molester.

As she landed on her feet and regained her balance, a third attack came. This one was the worst of all as two small hands groped both of her breasts, firmly massaging them and eliciting a brief erotic moan from Glynda that only served to fuel her immense rage. The hands retreated, but Glynda took a step forward after them. She quickly raised her knee and slammed it into the crotch of her final attacker.

The smoke started clearing revealing a man in a black suit with red sunglasses holding his family jewels before keeling over. As she glared down at the three men currently unconscious at her feet she made note of one very important fact. All three men were tall and burly. Their hands were large as well…too large to be the hands that groped her. Quickly looking up she had just enough time to see two white ponytails round the corner.

"What the hell was that all about," She asked herself.

XxX

Two blocks away, Kuro walked up to Naruto holding a single sheet of paper.

"Glynda Goodwitch's three sizes. As you requested." The young cat Faunus said in her usual monotone handing him the paper and accepting the fat stack of lien he gave her in exchange.

"Thanks, Kuro. I knew you were the girl for the job."

Kuro nodded, "Mistress says my hands are magical."

Naruto's mind went blank as he processed that sentence and the mental imagery that came with it. He snapped back just in time to see her scribble something on another sheet of paper. "What's that?"

"Mistress also wanted to know if you would get aroused imagining dirty thoughts of me and her together."

Naruto gave her a blank look. "You're a strange one, Kuro."

The white haired teenager slipped the piece of paper into her kimono. "And you're a deviant for thinking I would do anything sexual with my mother-figure."

The blonde sulked at the reprimand while Kuro walked away.

(End of Operation Three Sizes)

And we're back after (glances at last update) holy hell, 8 months!

First and foremost, special thanks to Dreadman75 for his work as beta. Hope you enjoyed the omakes (He doesn't get to beta those. My own way of thanking him and giving him something new to read when I update).

That being said, good news to all my incredibly patient fans. The real life issues that were holding me back are dealt with and so updates will return to the same frequency as when I first started this fic. Now, I know I promised a double update and yet failed to deliver. But I figured you lot were along the lines of "Hurry up and update, asshole!" So I figured I'd give you this instead of waiting till the next part is done. By my estimate, Part 2 should be done by Christmas, but since I don't expect Dread to take time away from his family to beta the story, you will have to wait till after Christmas for the next part. Okay? Okay.

As always, when introducing major players, here is the folklore they relate to…

Tsunade – We basically covered this with Jiraiya. They're part of the same folktale and there really isn't much else for me to add.

Dr. Know-all – Dr. Noal is an allusion to the German fairytale collected by the Grimm brothers about a peasant who wants to get rich and live a life of luxury. This is why he is a "Doctor" of tech support. If you got the time, look up the story. It's pretty funny.

Everyone enjoy your holidays and I will see you again before the New Year!