He is just standing there staring at me like I am a piece of meat ready to be eaten anying at me like i moment now, his eyes pouring into my soul he knows there is something wrong but yet he doesn't ask he just pulls me in and gives me the most passionate kiss of my life.

As he makes love to me I feel guilt he is my one true love but I will never tell him what is wrong as he will just see me and someone I don't want him to, he will see me as someone completely different I will never be the same person that he married.

I don't even need to find out the results tomorrow I already know that it is going to be the results are not going to be good and the impact will be massive on my life.

I lay awake all night thinking about what is waiting for me in the envelop I really do hope that my gut feeling is wrong but all the signs are there all the signs what will end my marriage…..

My heart is pounding in my chest I think it is going to explode if it hasn't already by my nerves. I need to keep myself calm I don't know the results yet anything could happen oh god ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.

Sorry to leave it like that guys