Ch.1

Olivia Benson has just made it home. A half filled diaper bag slung over one shoulder, her purse over the other, and clutching, in her right hand, a car seat containing a now sleeping, baby Noah. After sitting with Noah at the ACS facility for a while, gradually getting more comfortable and slowly beginning to build a bond, she began thinking of all the things she needed for Noah. She was starting from scratch. Of course she has been around babies, her half niece Olivia for a short while, but this was different. She was solely responsible for the welfare of this little boy that lies asleep in the car seat borrowed from ACS. While getting ready to leave, and begin this new life, one of his caretakers approached her and gave her some necessities that she would need for the night to care for Noah. While it wasn't much, it was enough for one night, until she could go to the store the next day.

Making her way into the apartment she sat down on the sofa bringing Noah's car seat to rest at her feet. Olivia sat there, staring down at the angelic face of her new son. "My Son" she thought out loud. Technically, she was granted temporary custody of Noah for the period of one year, to be used as a trial period, where at the end of it, she would be able to file for permanent custody. There was no question in her mind that she would make it through one year and come out on the other side, the permanent mother to Noah. Nothing would interfere with this dream coming true. Noah comes first, before everything else in her life.

She reached down and ran a finger along the side of his chubby little cheek. She whispered, "My sweet, sweet little boy. You are everything I have ever wanted. And everything I thought I'd never have. We're going to get through this together. I'll never give up on you". Tears began to well in her eyes and she needed the contact with her new baby boy. Slowly she unbuckled Noah from his car seat, careful not to wake him from his peaceful slumber, and brought him up to her. Cradling him in her arms, she walked around the living room, rocking him ever so gently.

Glancing at the clock, Olivia realizes just how late it has gotten. It's now ten o'clock, but she just can't bare to part with Noah just yet. Feeling as though this is a dream, that if she sets him down she'll awaken to an empty apartment.

After a while he begins to stir. A slight whimper escaping his tiny little lips. She brings her head down to his ear and begins whispering sweet nothings to him. Most of what is said indecipherable, but the one repeated phrase that was just audible enough for him to hear was "I love you little man". She was going to make sure that he always knew just how much he meant to her and how much she loved him.

It was already late in the evening when she returned home. His caretaker informed her of the schedule that he has been sticking to and told Olivia that he probably wouldn't wake until early the next morning. Still carrying a sleeping Noah, she makes her way to her bedroom. She place Noah in the middle of the bed. Not wanting him to roll over and fall, she moves two pillows to lie next to him. She kisses him on the head and turns around to head to her dresser. Still dressed in the clothes she started her day with ,some 16 hours ago, she needs to change. Olivia rummages through her drawers until she finds and old oversized NYPD issue t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. She checks on Noah before making her way into the bathroom to change.

She reappears just a minute later and makes her way to the bed. She lays down and brings Noah to her body so that he is cradled in one arm and is resting along the side of her body. She looks down at the sleeping boy resting alongside of her. She memorizes his form. His tiny little face. The brown hair that is not more than inch long that sticks out in every direction. The button nose that sits perfect in between two closed chocolate brown eyes. His little hands that rest next to each other on his stomach. The rise and fall of his chest and stomach with each breathe he takes. How is legs ever so slightly twitch when she runs her finger along the bottom of his sock clad foot. The most perfect thing she has ever known. She thinks about how even though he's had it pretty rough for a while, bouncing from house to house, he is still healthy and happy, which is all she could ever ask for.

Olivia stares down at him and thinks about how much her life has just changed. Waking up a single woman with no family and an empty apartment, to this very moment. A mama. She thinks about how many times in her life things have changed in the blink of an eye. Most of them for the worse. Having and losing Calvin, Lewis, and him. Being told, that her once partner and best friend wasn't coming back. She shook her head, she wasn't going to allow him, or anything else, tarnish this incredible moment , right here, with her new baby boy. She was going to cherish these precious moments.

She settled down into her pillow and pulled Noah just a little closer. He lets out a contented sigh and snuggles into her side. Overcome with emotion, Olivia kisses him on the forehead once more, falling more in love with him as each second passes. Finally, after a long journey and many bumps in the road, she feels whole again. Like everything in her life has brought her to this place. All of the pain and sacrifice brining her and this little boy together. Lying there with her son in her arms Olivia finally understands what it means when people say "Sometimes, the best things in life come out of the worst situations." She survived Lewis, a hell in and of itself, to make it here. To have all her dreams realized. She smiles because for once, in a very long time, she is truly happy.

Before sleep can overcome her she moves her finger around the side of his face and under his chin and whispers "Mama loves you little man. So very much. Sleep well my precious angel", and with that, she falls into a peaceful slumber with her son wrapped in her arms.