Candy was running for dear life as two Pokémon were chasing her through a very fenced garden. The Pokémon that were chasing her are both males and they have names - A Medicham named Clark and a Golurk named Kevin. For being a big, heavy guy, Kevin sure can keep up the pace. Clark was trying to read her movements with his mind so he could easily track her down in case they lost her. Finally, the silly goose chase ended near a giant fountain at the center of the garden. The bushes in the garden were very tall, so no one can see them. Also, the garden isn't really known by the public, so that is why there is no one else around. What was even more ridiculous is that Candy was carrying around a 6-pack of cream sodas - 2 of them were already drinked while she was running. Where did she get it from? Only she can tell us that.

Anywho, Clark and Kevin were trying to block Candy's chances to escape, getting a little closer to her while Candy was trying to catch her breath. "Well Kevin, Clark, it's been fun, but I'm afraid our little game ends NOW. Lady Luck has decided to smile upon me and grant me the gift of soda. And one of these 4 cans holds your fizzy, golden DOOM!" Candy said as she was reaching for one and opens it. The two guys just simply looked at each other in both confusion and anger.

"She CAN'T be serious! Let's get her!" Kevin spoke to Clark, raising his fists for combat. "Let her have her fun. We're still gonna pummel the living piss out of her." Clark said in a relaxed tone, still eyeing Candy.

"Of course, I'm not 100% which can it is, but I won't have a problem finding out. Starting with this one. I have a good feeling about this can, yessir!" She said right before she drinked the first one. After finishing it, she savored the aftertaste and waited a couple of seconds for the energy to scorch through her, but it turns out to be a dud. "Hmm. Your certain doom must be at the bottom of THIS can..." She said, opening another one and drinking it.

"Screw it! Let's get her!" Kevin growls, getting more impatient. "May as well. We're running out of time..." Clark said, figured that he thinks he sees enough. After the guys finished chatting, Candy finished her second one and was opening the third one.

"Yep, this can for sure. Why, I hate to think about what horrible, humiliating defeat lies at the bottom of this 12 ounce, finely, sweet lager..." Candy said, drinking the third one. She barely drank the rest of it when Kevin interrupted her. "No more talk out of you!" He said, quickly ran up in front of Candy, which surprised her. "Time to BLEED, four-eyes!" Kevin yelled, punching her in the face really hard, causing her to fall on the ground instantly on her belly, not moving. Clark walked over to them.

"Running out of time, buddy. Let's just up and kill her, collect that sweet bounty and meet up with Dudley and Fred." Clark plainly said, giving a confused look at Kevin when he was rubbing his knuckles. "Hold on, hold on. Her face is fucking SOFT! I could punch it all DAY!" Kevin said, raising his fists up really high like he was the champion in the ring of wrestling. "Naw, buddy. Let's just kill her." Clark said, thinking he's got something else more important to do. While the two dudes were arguing, Candy looked up and slowly grabbed a loose brick from near the base of the fountain. Now that she got the energy from that 'special' can of cream soda, she is ready to brawl. Candy continued to 'play dead' while the guys were about to finish their conversation. "Oh, come on! It's like punching a drunk pillowcase full of fat kids! Lemme wail on her a bit more!" Kevin begged him.

"Ah, hell. I guess that bounty isn't going anywhere. Wail away!" Clark finally agreed. Candy started to slowly move one of her legs to get up while she got a tighter grip on the brick for her to use. "NICE! Time for a knuckle message, fork-fingers!" Kevin said, turning towards Candy for another hit. "TAKE THIS!" Candy screamed as she jolt right up and slammed the brick into Kevin's left foot with all of her might. Kevin yelled by the sharp pain as Clark refocuses on her again, regretting he should've made sure he take care of the job himself.

"God damn it! This is why I said just KILL HER!" Clark angrily yelled at Kevin, who was still trying to nurture his injured foot. "MY FOOT! She swings like a pillowcase full of fat kids!" Kevin whines.

"DIE!" Clark yelled as he tackled her and did a Backthrow on her. Then Clark elbowed her in the stomach yelling, "Okay, you little brat! No more fucking around! YOU DIE NOW!" After all of that, he picked her up by the back of her neck while Candy was trying to squirm her way out.

"Finish her off, Kevin! With the bounty money, we'll BUY a pillowcase and fill it with fat kids!" Clark said, holding her in position. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Candy begged, moving around even more frantically as Kevin was starting to use one of his learned moves. "PHANTOM..." Kevin begins saying when finally, Candy broke free and quickly hid behind Clark. "Shit. Dropped her. Hold on." Clark said, but it was too late as Kevin finished saying the move. "FORCE!" Kevin screamed as he disappeared from where he was standing and reappeared real close to Candy, but ended up damaging Clark because she was too close to him. Kevin realized and started to flip a shit.

"Oh, shit! Clark! CLAAAARK! Speak to me! Come on, man! Speak to me! Say something! Anything! How could this be POSSIBLE?! This attack is supposed to hit targets WITHOUT FAIL! Damn, it also looks like a critical hit, too!" Kevin said, kneeling down by Clark to see if he's okay. Candy was now becoming a little pissed off for the killing she almost received. "Okay. That's it. Time to bring down the thunder." Candy said, starting to tilt the fountain over Kevin, who was not paying attention. "Cl-Clark? Clark?!" Kevin continued when suddenly, he got knocked down by the fountain, causing him to faint. "Whoo, yeah! Sometimes I'm so bad-ass, I can hardly believe it!" Candy panted, sweating up a storm, bleeding from the mouth a little, smiling. It all seem to turn out okay when out of nowhere, everything around her (including the atmosphere itself) started to get darker very quickly, which causes Candy into a panic frenzy. "W-What?! Wait! Why is it getting so dark?! What's going on?!" She started saying when bats swooped in around her. "AHHH! BATS!" She said when the bats left her briefly to make a formation in front of her. It was at THAT time when things around her was starting to get more lighter, but a bigger man in a cape emerged from the group of bats and laughed evilly. "AHHHH! DRACULA!"

[End of flashback]

[Back to reality]

"DRACULA?!" Mabel asked her with an eyebrow raised. "Yes! Dracula!" Candy said to everyone. Everyone who is there was Mabel, Dipper, Grenda, Jeff, Ash and Serena.

"Oh, come on, Candy. Dracula? Now we know you're just making this all up!" Dipper said very sternly at her with his arms crossed. "But I'm not! It really happened!" Candy spoke back with a shaky tone, making the others think a lot if she's a liar or not. "Wait, wait, wait... I'm confused. Kevin knocked out Clark in ONE punch, but the two of them couldn't take you down? That doesn't make any sense!" Serena said out loud to everyone, letting them know what she thinks. "Neither does Princess Allie wanting to kill you. Where'd that come from?" Ash asked, changing the topic. "Yeah! Explain THAT!" Grenda added on, but Candy ignores all the questions.

"Hey! You guys wanna hear how I beat Dracula or not?" Candy asked everyone, which they all said 'NO!', but Jeff said 'Yes.' "God damn it, Jeff! Who let you in here?!" Dipper yelled at him. "Well, I hope you're happy, Jeff. Now she's NEVER gonna shut up!" Serena agrees with her hands on her waist. "B-But... I wanna hear how she..." Jeff started when he got cut off by Mabel yelling, "OUT! GET OUT!" "Yeah! Go slit your wrists and write about it in your blog, you emo-fag!" Grenda said directly at Jeff, who's now more mad. "Fuck you guys! Come on, Ash and Serena! We're leaving!" Jeff said, stomping out the door of the Mystery Shack, followed closely behind by Ash and Serena who were giving each other worried looks as they left.

"Okay, Candy. Tell us the truth. Where have you been for the past 11 months. Don't lie to impress me, just tell me the truth. I won't get mad!" Dipper said in the most controlled, relax-sounded angry tone as possible. "B-But I AM telling the truth!" Candy reassured her friends. "Man, I hate that guy!" Mabel said to herself, still looking at the door where the others left while she's still all ears to the conversation that's still taking place. Dipper took in a huge, stressful sigh and decided to go along with what Candy's trying to say with her 'story.'

"Alright, Candy. How did you beat Dracula?" Dipper asked with an annoyed look on his face. "Well~! Fortunately for me, Dracula made ONE fatal flaw!" Candy continued on. "I bet it involves boomerangs!" Grenda guessed.

[flashback]

"OH, GOD! SUNLIGHT!" Dracula screamed in misery and pain as he exploded.

[End of flashback]

[Back to reality]

"Alright. That's it. Give me a call when you're ready to be serious." Dipper said, leaving the group of girls to themselves in the gift shop. "But-But...! B... But it all DID happen... Why won't you believe my ludicrous tale of Vampires and Pokémon?" Candy asked, begging herself for Dipper to come back to her, but Mabel and Grenda stayed because they do believe her and they're her best friends in the world.

Suddenly, Wendy came running in the gift shop and stopped in front of the girls. "Hey! I thought I heard whining!" Wendy said worriedly. "WENDY! I know YOU'LL believe me!" Candy cheered.

"Where the hell have YOU been?! I gave you up for dead 3 hours after you left!" Wendy scowled at Candy with her fists by her sides. "Well, it's an amazing story...!" Candy started on again to her flashbacks.

[Flashback]

"Well, Mise Chiu! I thank you for joining me for tea, but I have world conquest plans to plan. I'm sure you understand!" Princess Allie said with a very polite tone with one of her favorite fans she used over her mouth sometimes. "Princess Allie, I swear, I'm gonna escape and kick your pink ass up and down the kingdom. And then, when I'm done with that, I just might decide to kick it again!" Candy said with no emotions.

[End of flashback]

[Back to reality]

"I was just being polite. I don't really wanna hear it..." Wendy said calmly, trying so hard not to hurt Candy's feelings. Candy understood and said, "Well... Fair enough... But you're missing out!"

THE END

Author's Note: Yeah, things just went all nuts in this one, eh? At least Candy turned out okay at the end though. I'm moving to a different home soon right now, so I'll be off the internet for a while. Also, if you REALLY like this story, click on my screen name 'TheFightingDragon' and check out the other stories I made in the past month. And it would be wonderful if you guys could leave some comments in the review section about what you think of the stories. The feedback will give me a more positive feeling about my creativity. Thank you SO much for reading.