title: blisters on her feet

summary: "you're taller than i remember" she says and then she cries/ she takes up track in her third year of high school because she figures she'll need the practice

notes: as it turns out, i'm not dead

(1)

"I fixed the brakes on your bike," her father says that morning. He doesn't look up from his newspaper. Her mother is finishing up the rest of breakfast and Miyuki is sleepily shoveling cereal in her mouth.

"Oh, thanks Dad," Makoto says and shoves a piece of toast in her mouth, chewing on it as she bends over to tie the laces of her shoe, "But I don't think I'll be using it for a while."

She straightens up and jogs over to the door.

"I'll see you guys after school!"

(2)

"I think maybe I should join a club," she announces to Kousuke. She doesn't know why she says this. Possibly to fill in the silence because she's been a little quiet lately and she knows Kousuke worries when she's too quiet. Perhaps it's the influence of the hundreds of clubs outside the school, attempting to recruit members as they walk through the school gates.

Kousuke considers this. "It would look good on college applications."

Makoto sighs. Not even the middle of the school year and he's already thinking about college. What a dedicated student. She sort of admires him for it.

"Maybe I should join the baseball team. I'm awesome at baseball."

"I don't think catch really qualifies as baseball," Kousuke says and laughs at the face she makes, "Also, I'm not really sure if we have a girls' baseball team."

"OI, JOIN THE TRACK TEAM!"

"THE TRACK TEAM NEEDS MORE MEMBERS."

"PLEASE JOIN THE TRACK TEAM. THANK YOU."

Makoto stops abruptly, an idea forming in her mind as different teams and clubs continue to chant and shout for people to join. Kousuke stops walking and looks back at her, slightly concerned.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks.

"I know what I'm going to do."

(3)

"Since when were you interested in track?" Kousuke asks, watching as she signs her name on the sheet. She feels excited for some reason.

"Are you kidding? I love to run," Makoto says and hopes it sounds convincing. (please don't ask please don't ask)

He narrows his eyes suspiciously at her and then sighs, ruffles her hair. "Alright then." Makoto tries not to look so relieved.

She hands him the pen and he shakes his head.

"You aren't going to join with me?" she asks, a little surprised. They always do everything together.

He shrugs. "I'm not really a runner," he says. Makoto smiles. She's glad to have a friend like Kousuke, someone who doesn't ask questions. Someone who understands just what she needs.

"Thanks," she says.

He whistles and grins. "I don't know what you're talking about. Come on. Don't wanna be late for class."

(4)

I'll be waiting, in the future.

I'll be right there. I'll run there.

Makoto tightens the laces of her sneakers. It's time for her to get a head start on that promise.

(5)

Her feet hurt and she thinks she may collapse any second now.

She's bent over, hands resting on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. Makoto wipes the sweat out of her eyes, takes one last deep breath and straightens up.

"Konno—"

"One more time," she says, "Please?"

Her coach furrows his brow. "You'll wear yourself out Konno. I appreciate the dedication but practice ended an hour ago. If this is about the meet on Thursday, you'll do fine. There's nothing to be nervous about. For now, you should go home and rest up."

"I'm sorry to keep you here coach. I just—" she breaks off, feeling the familiar prickle of tears forming in her eyes, "I need to be faster."

"You're plenty fast Makoto," he tells her in an attempt at being comforting, slightly alarmed at the sight of the distressed teenage girl before him.

"Just once more?" she asks with a small smile.

He sighs, resetting the stopwatch.

"Take your position."

(6)

It scares her to think that this is all for nothing. That even if she runs to him, she won't be fast enough.

It scares her to think that she won't be able to catch up.

Makoto runs until there are blisters on her feet.

(7)

She lets herself fall to the ground, finally having tired herself out from running around the baseball field. She's breathing hard and lying on the grass feels nice even though the sun is shining almost directly in her face so she's forced to close her eyes.

"Makoto?"

She opens one eye to see Kousuke looking down at her. She blinks a few times and squints up at him.

"Hey," she says and kind of hope he doesn't move because he's providing her with wonderful shade.

"Geez," he says, "You're so reckless." He holds a water bottle out to her. She sits up, taking it from him and he crouches down in the grass beside her.

"And you're thoughtful," she replies, twisting the cap off and taking a huge gulp. She notices Kousuke looking at her then. "What?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing," then, "Are you okay?"

Makoto looks at her water bottle. No, she wants to say, I made our best friend go away. Chiaki's gone and it's my fault and we'll probably never see him again.

Instead she settles for a wry smile.

"Time's a weird thing, eh, Kousuke?"

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't ask her what she means by that.

(8)

When she isn't running track, she's with her aunt, helping to restore the painting. She figures that if she isn't able to get to Chiaki, she'll give him something to look forward to in the future anyway because he deserves at least that.

Makoto rubs her forehead, smearing red paint there in the process. Kazuko giggles and Makoto looks at her questioningly. She points to her forehead and Makoto groans, excusing herself to the bathroom to wash it off.

"How are you doing Makoto?" her aunt asks when she comes back.

"Oh," Makoto says and looks down at the painting, "Pretty good. I'm better at this than I thought!"

Her aunt smiles. That isn't what she meant.

(9)

The track team wins many of their meets with Makoto on their side. The tournament at the end of the season is added to their number of wins and is a great day for all the third year members.

At the end of the relay when she's the first to cross the finish line, they shout her name and hoist her up on their shoulders.

"Konno!"

"You were amazing—"

"Like a blur—"

"I thought you were gonna disappear for a minute there—"

She manages a grin through her exhaustion.

(10)

Makoto lies in bed, staring up at the stucco ceiling blankly and not thinking about anything. She shifts slightly and feels cold metal on her skin and remembers the medal she let rest on her stomach.

She holds it up and watches it. The gold glints in the light of the setting sun outside her bedroom window.

It is the first gold medal she's ever won. Her family and Kousuke were amazed and proud when they'd seen it.

Makoto places it beside her and turns on her side, closing her eyes.

She feels so unsatisfied.

(11)

Makoto is twenty-one when she decides to move on. This is also around the time where the painting is finally restored.

She goes to the museum to gaze at it sometimes, whenever she can.

It's one of her favorite paintings is all (and that's the only reason she swears, nothing more, nothing less).

(12)

She thinks she sees a flash of bright red hair out of the corner of her eye, standing just a few feet away from her and the painting. Her heart stops and she turns.

"Chi—"

There's nothing there. Of course there isn't. A few people give her odd looks.

My God, she thinks, I'm going crazy.

Except when she leaves the museum it happens again and Makoto knows.

(13)

Makoto is twenty-three when she admits that maybe she hasn't really moved on at all.

(14)

Admittedly, the shoes she's wearing aren't the best for running. Halfway through, one of the heels break and Makoto nearly falls flat on her face. She lets out a frustrated yell and the kids on their bikes sort of laugh at her as they ride by but she doesn't care. She takes her shoes off and holds them in her hands.

Makoto runs, the fastest she's ever run before and when she blinks she swears she can see him right there in front of her.

Makoto leaps.

(15)

She falls, tumbles down a hill, rolling in the grass so quickly that she can barely see anything so she shuts her eyes until she finally rolls to a stop near the river.

When she opens her eyes there's a hand in front of her face. She takes it without thinking and is yanked up on her feet. He holds her hand for about two more seconds before he lets go. All she can do is stare at him, because yeah, sure, he's aged some, but he's pretty much the same except for the fact that

"You're taller than I remember," she tells him and then she cries.

(16)

Even though it's been five years for her, it's only been about two for him. His eyes widen. He looks ready to apologize.

"It's okay," she says, "You waited."

"I would've waited for however long you needed me too," he says, sincerely.

"I ran for a long time. I gave up for a little while," she confesses and doesn't look at him when she says it, "But I ran again. I broke my heels for you."

Chiaki gives her this look that she can't quite describe but she likes it.

"Konno—" he starts and then stops himself, "Makoto."

She blinks up at him.

"I like you."

She grins.

(17)

"I like you too."