Author's Note:
I'm really sorry about how long it took for me to update, but I had reallllly bad writer's block but all your comments and kind words really helped me with writing this chapter.
I have had this idea planned for almost two years and I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this, it means the world to me. I love this book so much, and I really adore Holland's character. Which is probably another reason it takes me forever to write, because I want to give you guys the best chapters that I can, meaning no filler chapters so it takes me a little longer than usual to plan them out. So I hope you all continue to stick around because this roller coaster is only about to get even crazier from here.
But without further a due, here is chapter 9. Which *drum roll pls* finally has the big reveal on Holland's departure and a huge moment between Holland and Carter that will define their relationship.
Please leave your thoughts and comments because I want to know what you guys think! And wow, this story is already over 2k?! Thank you all so much, kisses. ks 3
If you thought Sex and The City was juicy, then you will absolutely love what I'm about to spill. This just in, a little birdy left me with some very vital information regarding a certain redhead. Get your tissues handy, because Holland Braxton might just be winning an Oscar.
Though it must be a shame that it will be under these circumstances. But nothing screams irony like revealing a life-ruining secret on the debut of your parent's premiere, now does it?
You know you love me.
Xoxo, Gossip Girl.
9. Sex, Drugs, Scandal
The Braxton Suite was filled with assistants, florists, cooks, and a handful of Holland's friends. Serena and Blair were hell bent on helping prepare the premiere party, Holly's guess was so they could get their hands on the celebrity guest list. Michelle was pacing back and forth, being followed by dozens of assistants as they dashed from one side of the room to the other. Then repeat, again and again.
Sebastian could be found in the dining hall with his eldest son and newly announced fiancé. They were chatting over a bottle of Jameson and talking about Sunday night's football game. Declan was seated behind them on the couch, awaiting the text message of his best friend. Carter hasn't answered him all morning, completely blowing off their plans for the afternoon.
Serena tugged on a piece of Holland's messy hair and her green eyes darted towards the blonde, "Why do you look like you were rolling around in a haystack?" She pulled a piece of grass out of her hair before shoving it into the redhead's face as a signal of proof. Holland swatted the piece of grass out of her hands, "It wasn't a haystack."
The brunette's eyebrows raised in amusement and her lips puckered into a knowing smirk at her best friend's expense, "Well don't spare us any details, Braxton."
"He took me out of town," Holland recalled, thinking about her date from yesterday. Things have been really good. Better than she could have ever hoped. Carter surprised her with a limousine and a picnic basket. They had a quiet picnic by a lake, followed by stargazing... Among other things. "We just had a really good night."
Serena plucked another piece of grass from Holland's hair before taking her chin in her hand and raising it to find a red splotch on her neck. Serena's eyes found Blair's as they exchanged a knowing glance, before Blair dug through her purse for her cover up. "We can tell, H. The least you could do is have the decency to cover up." Holland's hand found her neck immediately with a pair of matching shocked eyes. Blair shooed her hands away before applying the makeup and covering up any trace of the marking.
Someone busted through the doors, causing a wave of commotion and everyone's eyes peeled away from what they were doing to see what was happening. Holland stepped up on her tiptoes, over the crowd of people placed in front of her to see a back of dark hair holding a bouquet of flowers. He was standing beside Declan who quickly stood up from the couch and shook his friend's shoulder. "Took you long enough, I was starting to think you were gonna ditch me," Declan laughed, gaining a small chuckle to leave the back of Carter's throat.
"Nah, man, I just had to stop somewhere first," He held up the flowers before Michelle gathered beside them. Her features were stained with anxiety and panic, tonight was the largest premiere the Braxton's have ever had and it needed to be perfect. This would be their make or break moment for their career. Carter handed over the flowers to Michelle, "For you. Good luck tonight."
Michelle smelled the flowers before pulling Carter into a hug and pressing a small kiss onto his cheek. "Thank you so much, it's wonderful for you to be here. And I know she really appreciates the support," She spoke quietly before running off with her stampede of assistants. Declan knitted his eyebrows together in confusion but Carter turned around, covering his tracks. "She must have meant he, that's cute though - you appreciate me."
Declan rolled his eyes, "Shut up."
The two college students made their way out of the room but before walking through the door, Carter turned around to look at Holland. She gave him a small wave before he was literally yanked through the door by Declan. She turned her head around to find Blair and Serena with wide grins on their lips, "You should go get ready for your big night. I might even slip a message to lover boy that you need to see him up in your bedroom." Blair fixed the purse draped over her shoulder, with a puckered smirk and rosy cheeks.
Holland stepped backwards, "I should probably go. I need to shower and everything, you know?" Without another word, she took off towards the stairs. Once she was in her room, she pulled her hair out of its high ponytail and trailed her fingers down her face. She needed to get ready.
She opened her closet to find an outfit, but she noticed one hanger pulled out and set to the side. Their maid, Jessie, must have already gotten her an outfit. She had to admit, she loved Jessie's taste. She was a younger girl, a family friend of Dorota's. She pulled the green gown off of it's hook and laid it on top of her bed. Her eyes glanced towards her clock, she had three hours until the premiere started, and two until she was scheduled for hair and make up. Her mother had set Holland last with her two friends at the same time.
Holland was staring at her reflection in the mirror, she only had about twenty minutes left before she was up for hair and make up. She had her olive green dress draped firmly around her body, her red hair following down her back against her light complexion. There was a sudden knock at her door and sucked in a deep breath before walking over and opening it up. Carter was staring back from the other side of the door with a bouquet of roses and a small box in his other hand. His eyes widened as they travelled down her body, "Whoa. You look-" Before he could even finish his compliment, Holland pulled him into a kiss.
She pulled away, just enough so they could walk into her bedroom until she pushed him up against the closed door. "I was starting to think that you wouldn't come up here."
"Well Declan isn't that easy to avoid. I'm starting to question which Braxton I'm actually dating," He arched an eyebrow and she broke out into a laugh. He took her face in his hands and licked his lips, "You look beautiful, Holly. I just, I needed to tell you that. But when you opened the door," He tilted his head to the side, smiling to himself, "You left me breathless."
She shook her head, biting her bottom lip, "God, I-" She pressed her lips to his quickly, stopping what she was so close to saying. She knew she meant it. She did love him, but she was scared to say it. Especially after last time. Once she pulled away, she took the flowers and box out of his hands. She placed the roses in a vase beside her bed and looked down at the box. "What's this?"
He walked across the room, moving closer to her as she stood in front of the mirror. He stood behind her, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck. She let her neck fall to the side and she sucked in a quick breath as her eyes fluttered shut. He placed his hands on her hips, "Open it and find out."
She pulled the red ribbon off of the box, before opening it up to reveal a gold necklace with a small heart in the middle. She smiled down at it before pulling it out of the box and turning around to him, "I love it."
"Here," He held out his hand for it which she placed in his hand before turning back around. He pushed her hair to one side before placing the necklace around her neck and clasping it together. He brushed his fingers along her collarbone until he touched the small golden heart. As he pulled away, he pulled her chin towards him so he could kiss her once more. She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer to her. But he pulled away, "There's something else in that box for you."
She blinked before opening her eyes and staring up at him, she looked down at the box pulling the foam out to find a key laying at the bottom of the box. Her mouth dropped open as she picked it up between her manicured nails, "Wait, is this?"
"A key to my apartment," He nodded his head before taking her hands in his, "This way there's no more need for sneaking up that fire escape."
She let out a deep breath, "I don't know what to say. Thank you," She pulled him into another kiss before he had to leave and she had to go finish getting ready for the premiere.
Holland walked into the dressing room where Blair and Serena were both already seated and their hair was being done. They both gave Holland wide smiles as she sat down between them. Serena gave her a smug smile, "Well someone is glowing."
"Lover boy got my message?" Blair smirked, before raising her chin for the make up artist. Blair looked over at Holland in the mirror, "Declan was glued to his hip the entire time. I had to wait for him to go use the bathroom so I could run over there and deliver the message."
Holland held out her hand for her best friend and squeezed it, "Well thank you, B. It meant a lot to me."
"Have you told him you loved him?" Serena asked, gaining the attention of the other two. Holland chewed on her bottom lip before fiddling with her necklace, "I think I might tonight."
"I want to thank everyone for joining us today to celebrate the premiere of our movie. The entire cast and crew have put so much time and effort into making this film. And I hope you all enjoy it as much as the rest of us."
The entire room erupted into an applause as Michelle and Sebastian stepped down from the podium. Holland was standing with Blair and Serena as they saw Chuck and Nate walking towards them. Holland met them, hugging both of them and looking around at her group. Everyone was together. She grinned, "I'm so happy that you all made it."
"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Hol." Nate insisted as the rest of the group all nodded their heads in agreement. Holland let out a shaky breath, but Nate caught onto it, "What's wrong?"
She waved a dismissive hand, "Nothing too severe. It's just my speech that I have prepared, I had it written perfectly but now, I'm nervous that it won't be good enough."
"You'll do great, don't worry about it." Chuck placed his hand on her upper back and she bit her bottom lip nervously, still not convinced.
She gave them a weak smile before her eyes caught something in the background. Her eyes grew wide as she stormed towards the girl, "Dakota?"
The other girl turned around, pulling her glass of champagne up and clinking it against Holland's before downing her entire glass. Holly wrapped her hand around Dakota's wrist and dragged her forward, trying not to gain any unwanted attention. She smiled widely at the redhead, "I was just looking for you, where have you been?"
Her eyes were bloodshot and she couldn't hold any eye contact. "Are you, are you seriously high right now?"
Dakota shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows condescendingly, "I'm just playing my part."
"You need to go," Holland started dragging her out of the room but she was struggling against her. They got maybe three feet towards the door before Dakota ripped her arm free and stumbled backwards, "I'm not going anywhere. What you don't want to be associated with a drug addict or a drunk? Well guess what," She raised her voice gaining everyone's attention and putting on a show, "I'm Dakota Watts, the British actress whom played a drug addict on television. But guess what? It's not all a ruse. I'm high as fuck right bloody now!"
"Kota!" Holland screamed, snatching her arm once again and yanking her forward. Thankfully, Chuck and Nate came rushing to her rescue and helping drag her out of the room. Once they were in an empty hall, Holland pushed Kota back against the wall. "What the hell did you think that you were doing? Why do you have to keep screwing my life up along with your own?"
Dakota scrunched her nose up, as she pushed herself off of the wall and fixed her dress. "Oh, I think you did a perfectly fine job at doing that one yourself, Holland."
"What the hell was that?" Michelle came rushing into the hallway with Declan and Carter following in behind her, all with matching expressions.
Holland rushed towards her mother, "Mom, I had nothing to do with this. I promise, I had no idea she would come here. You have to believe me."
"Your parents can't make all your problems go away. That's not how the real world works. You mess up and you fix it all on your own, or you just keep on spiraling. But mummy and daddy can't keep erasing all your mistakes. Last time was just luck," Dakota slurred before pushing herself off of the wall but Holland turned around, her eyes dark and dilated. She stormed over to Dakota, getting right in her face, "What did you just say to me?"
"You don't scare me," Dakota spit in Holland's face before the redhead lunged forward but Carter yanked her away before she could hit the other girl. Dakota bit back a hollow laugh, "I didn't think you were so clueless to go back to him. It makes sense though. You like having people around who treat you like garbage."
Security entered the room and Michelle placed on hand on her forehead before waving the other for security to take Dakota out of there. Once she was escorted out of the party, Holland rubbed her temples. Her green eyes wandered up to Carter, "How did she?"
He shook his head, "I don't know."
"Come on, honey. I'll have Jessie fix your make up. Your speech is coming up next. Okay?" Michelle coddled her daughter, making sure she made it into the other room without any questions from paparazzi being asked.
Holland stood at the front of the room, on the podium with every guest's eyes narrowed on her. She thought she was nervous before, but now with what had just happened - she felt sick. She couldn't mess this up for her parents. "Good," She cleared her throat and gripped onto the podium as tightly as she could, her knuckles turning white. "Good evening, I'm Holland Braxton. Tonight has turned into one of the most important night's of my parent's life and I couldn't be a happier or prouder daughter. To watch how far you've come from producing independent films to gaining such a wide production, I'm glad to say I've been a part of this family. I know that only greater opportunities are to come and I cannot wait to see what you've got in store for us all. So without further ado, here is the final trailer."
Holland stepped down from the podium as the lights dimmed and the camera began to roll the tape. The trailer began to play so Holland went to take a step down when she heard her own voice break through the speaker. "Why don't you put the toy away and come play with something a little more... Exciting?" Her eyes snapped back up to the big screen where she was being projected on. It was definitely her, only about three years younger. She was wearing a skimpy lingerie outfit, laying down on the bed and staring up at the camera.
"What is this?"
"Is that their daughter?"
Holland felt like her chest tightened up completely and she couldn't breathe. She stepped down another stair before she lost her balance and fell, smacking her hand against a table and catching herself before she fell. She looked back up at the screen to see her spaghetti strap fall down off her shoulder and she was biting her lip, as Carter placed the camera down and started to walk over towards her. "No," Holland looked around her, spinning in circles trying to find where it was coming from so she could turn it off. This could not get released into the public. It's already ruined her life one time, she couldn't go through it all again. Where would she disappear to this time?
"Oh my god, is this a sex-tape?"
People in the crowd were shouting out insults and pictures were being taken but Holland could barely keep her balance from her numbing legs. On the screen, Carter's shirt was being pulled over his head and his hands were moving to remove her silk gown. She knew what was next and she felt like she was about to vomit.
"Someone turn this off," Michelle shouted over the microphone as Holly felt someone grab onto her arm and she looked up to find Chuck holding onto her for support. Nate was trying to help the girl at the projector turn it off until Blair just ran forward, yanking the plug straight out of the socket and the screen went completely black.
The lights turned on and everyone was sitting there in silence, until Michelle rushed forward, grabbing her daughter and pulling her out of the room and shielding her away from the reporters and paparazzi. Michelle stood in the corner with one hand placed on her hip and the other rubbing her forehead. Sebastian was pacing back and forth, as Chuck and Nate stood alongside Blair and Serena who were trying to comfort a crying Holland. Carter rushed into the room, walking straight for Holly but Blair stopped him, placing her hand firmly on his chest. "I really don't think it's a smart idea for you to be in here right now."
"I just want to see her," Carter pleaded.
Holland heard him and she wiped her tears, pulling away from Serena and storming towards him. "Don't you think you did enough? I did everything that you asked. I left. I left you, I, I left everyone. So why? Why now?" She pushed his chest back and her voice cracked underneath the cries, "What did I ever do to you that you had to humiliate me like this?"
Carter shook his head, placing his hand on her arm and crouching down so she would actually look at him, "It wasn't me, Holly. You have to believe me."
She sniffled, "I don't know what to believe. Who else would do it? You, you were the only one with the tape."
Carter swallowed hard, a vein in his neck prodding out against his skin and he shook his head. "I don't know who it could have been. I deleted the video, last year. After the visit in London, seeing how much pain I caused you. I got rid of the video, the camera, everything. I would never do anything like that to hurt you again. I was a stupid kid who was scared of his dad, but I'm not that person anymore. I changed. I've changed because of you."
Holland bottom lip quivered as she listened to him, believing every word he had to say. She wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her head into his chest and his arms wrapped around her protectively, kissing the top of her head. She didn't pull away, only shifted her body so she was leaning against him and he grazed his fingers along her back, soothingly.
But the door busted open and Declan barged into the room, storming towards Holland and Carter after their parents left the room to perform damage control on the situation. Holland pulled away from Carter, going to step forward to talk to her brother but Declan dodged around her, throwing a punch right into Carter's jaw. Holland covered her mouth with her hands as Declan threw another punch as Carter stumbled onto the ground. "Dec! Declan, stop it!"
Holland grabbed Declan's arm, trying to pull him off of Carter, but he yanked his arm free, throwing another punch at Carter who was just laying on the ground with a bloody nose and a bruising eye. Holland yanked Declan's arm, "You're hurting him!"
Declan stood up straight, before pushing his younger sister away from him and sending her stumbling back from his anger. Her eyes widened at the force that he used and she stepped forward, reaching for his arm but he pushed her back again, even harder than before. "Just stop defending him. This is all on you, Holland."
"Whoa, man. Back it up, okay?" Chuck rushed forward, wedging in between the two feuding siblings and pushing Declan back lightly, maintaining a distance between Holland and him. "I think she's dealt with enough tonight. Don't you think?"
Declan let out a breath before nodding his head and turning back to Carter who was slowly getting off of the ground. He stepped forward, which made Carter instinctively back away, but Declan grabbed the front of his shirt pulling him forward. "I want you out of the apartment by tomorrow. If I catch you in there, I'll call the police. Who do you think they'd believe? A Braxton who has straight A's and does community service or the low-life scumbag who took all daddy's money to travel the world?"
"Declan, come on, man," Carter let out a sigh but Declan just pushed him backwards letting go of his shirt.
Once Declan left the room and the door was slammed shut, the hallway was filled with silence and tension. Serena grabbed Holland's hands and gave her a weak smile, "We can have a girl's night tonight like old times?"
Blair joined in, "I'll call Dorota. Have her lay all the pillows on the living room floor like we used to and we can watch movies and I'll even have her order your favorite macaroons."
"I love you guys," Holland hugged both of them, before pulling away, "Yes that sounds perfect. Thank you."
Blair pulled her phone out of her pocket as fast as she could, "Wonderful. Come on, Serena. We have some preparations to attend to."
"I'll have my driver drop her off," Chuck added, which caused Blair to give him a small smile before hurrying off with Serena. He turned towards Carter, "And I know we may not have gotten off on the right foot in the past. But it's pretty obvious that she cares for you and I care for her, so if you need someplace to crash. You're more than welcomed to sleep on the sofa."
Carter held out his hand which Chuck took and shook it firmly, "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."
Chuck grabbed Nate's shoulder before motioning that they should be getting back into the party. As soon as the door closer, Holland rushed over to the mirror and started tugging on her hair trying to tame the mess that it's become in all the chaos of the night. Everything was going so great. She was finally ready to tell him that she loved him, her mother was finally accepting their relationship along with all of her friends, and he gave her a key to his apartment. But it was all completely ruined now. First with Dakota crashing the party, and then the sex-tape that her parents tried so desperately to hide was literally projected at their premiere. And if matters couldn't get any worse, Carter was kicked out of his apartment and Holland would be lucky if Declan would ever want to speak to her again.
Carter walked up behind her, grabbing her shaking hands and making her turn around to face him. He ran his hand down her cheek, "Hey, talk to me. Okay? Tell me what's going on inside that head of yours."
"It's just, everything was so good. I was finally happy," Holland swallowed hard and casted her green eyes away from him so Carter licked his lips, "Are you not happy anymore?"
She stared up into his blue eyes, they looked clearer today. Like two tiny oceans that every time she looked into them, she felt herself getting lost in them. And she loved that feeling. She loved being able to stare into his eyes and forget about the world crumbling around them because that's all that mattered to her in the moment. She shook her head, breaking into a tiny smile and placing one of her hands on his jaw, "No, of course I'm happy. Since the day I've came back, I've been putting on this strong front. Smile, tell everyone that you're okay and you're happy and you're glad you came home. Some of which were complete lies. But with you, I don't need to lie. You just know when I'm happy. And every time I see you, I know I made the right decision coming home." She grabbed his hands in hers and squeezed them, "We'll make it through this, together this time. There's no more, me against the world. From now on, it's us against the world." Holland leaned forward, closing the space between them with a kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck.
Carter pulled away only an inch, but they both froze there. Breathing each other in and feeling the warmth from one another and never wanting to pull away. He swallowed hard, "I love you."
Holland's eyes opened, her green eyes staring into the two oceans in front of her. But this time she didn't get lost in them because she didn't have to escape to another place to whisper back those three little words that she's been aching to say. She let out a light chuckle, relishing in the happiness being shared between them. "I love you too."