Life sucks without humor, so I'm going to give you a joke at the beginning of every chapter. Most of them will suck.

-Why do dogs suck at dancing?

-They have two left feet.

This Sucks:

The Story of How I Had The Worst Morning of My Life, But It All Turned Out OK.

Summary: "You're a weird one," he said with a smirk. Godammit…stop showing me small yet glorious hints of sexiness, Undercover Cop! It's really starting to get to me! The moment that knot appeared in my hair, causing me to inevitably end up on that stranger's lap, that crazy world awaited me. The world of a rock star, (AKA Undercover Cop).

Thoughts: I sort of feel like Chinese food right now…Hmmm…

General Info 'Bout This Sucks: Ok, so this is first person Lucy, AU…just thought I should clear that up ahead of time. So, they don't actually meet in this chapter, but the next one. If you can hang on that long, please do so! I bow to my fans who request NaLu fics…yet again. Oh, oh! I almost forgot! Thanks for clicking on my story!

Requests: Send a review my way and I'll give you my thanks by mind beaming to your location and bowing to you. Ok, so I can't do that…but it would be cool if I could, right? Anyway, please R&R! And I hope you stick with this story. It's specially delivered for all NaLu lovers, so give it a shot!

Reality sucks.

But there's never anything you can do about it.

So, to illuminate things for you, when I was catapulted several feet, due to the sudden stop of the subway, towards the other side of the train…towards him, physics—Damn you, physics! Again!—might as well have danced on my grave. Yeah, my grave. I was clearly going to die.

You may ask why, so I will tell you. I will give all of the cruel details of how I thought I was going to meet my end. I suppose I should start from the beginning, yes? I mean, my horrible fate would seem insane, absolutely and irrevocably mental, if I didn't explain it. If I didn't explain how I met my supernova, my star. Heck, let's call him the supernova. Because he is probably the hottest person I've ever seen.

Part I: My Sucky Morning

{Welcome to the Karma Café. There are no menus. You get served what you deserve.}

Ok, so we all have them. All of us! Don't even try to deny it. Every. Single. Person. Everyone who is reading these words right now has definitely had one. A sucky morning. A morning where it feels like the universe and everything and everyone inside of it is out to get you. Where everything bad that could happen, does happen. That is exactly what I was having that day. The most horrible, endless, unfair, torment-filled…sucky morning!

It all started with a knot. It was just a knot. Who cares, right? I could wrestle a knot out of my hair, and that's just what I did. After a few minutes of clenched teeth and wincing, my golden hair was once again straight and soft! I felt triumphant, but, though I didn't know it, that stupid knot had already won the moment I spotted it in my hair.

After The Battle of the Knot, (as I have now un-affectionately dubbed it), I went about my morning routine. I got dressed, having already taken a shower, and slipped on my boots. It was spring, so I dressed lightly in a white blouse and short, ruffled, pinkish skirt. I wrapped a sweater around my waste just in case I got cold sometime. I pulled my now-dried hair into a messy bun and stabbed it with a pencil. It was a procedure I was far too used to doing; I blame that on the abundance of pencils at my job and the obvious lack of hair ties in my possession.

I am, as I feel I should mention so that you can further grasp my story, a vet's assistant. Yeah, you read that right. I'm not even a real vet. I hope to be one, but I'm not quite there yet. Well, I get paid enough to keep up with my rent, so it's an ok gig. I'm always writing down numbers and recording measurements. Mira often scolds me for going through so many pencils. Now that you know that, I will proceed with the story of that one, fateful morning. Back to the point!

When I walked outside, I winced as the sun singed my retinas. I've never been overly fond of the sun. I much prefer nighttime, if you ask me. I've always sort of liked the stars, but the sun, though technically a star, has always been too gaudy for me. It's too bright, taking up the whole sky, and drowns out the other stars. That is why I don't like the sun, (not to mention my forgetting my sunglasses up in my apartment).

I like the North Star. Not too bright, not too dull. Just right. As I walked along the canal outside my house, I wished I could see that star up in the sky. I couldn't, though. What I could see, when I looked down, was a dog. Was me about to trip on the dog. Was the ground getting closer and closer as I tumbled forward.

I cried out in pain as my uncovered knees, (should have worn pants!), scraped against the pavement. I tried to beat physics by shooting my hands out in front of me, but my victory against physics was never to be. My palms were now also split open painfully.

I sat there for a few moments, trying not to whimper. I was quiet, basking in my own anguish. How had I not seen that coming!? Oh right…I tripped on a dog. Though I love dogs, (or rather animals in general…hence the job), I don't like dogs that trip me and cause me to almost crack my head open on hard pavement. This one just had to show up to brighten up my morning. I stared up at the sky for a moment, asking the universe why it had to do this to me, and then looked back at the dog.

It was small and white, with an orangish patch over its left eye and over his nose like paint splattered on him. If I had to guess, he was a lab mutt. And he was the most adorable little thing you'll ever see. I seriously mean it. Still, I resisted temptation! I turned away and huffed, examining my hands. They weren't that bad, but they still stung and throbbed. I heard his steps as the dog padded over to me. He sat down next to me and leaned close to me. With that, he started gently licking my cuts, his whiskers tickling me a bit. I gasped. It was a-freakin'-dorable!

"Yeah, you feel bad, don't you?" I asked him.

He stared up at me, still licking. "Well, I won't forgive you," I grumbled, pulling myself into a relatively upright position again.

The puppy stared up at me, his wiry yet soft-looking hair shining in the sun, (ugh, the sun). I sighed and walked away. I'd noticed that he didn't have a collar, but he looked healthy and fed so I had to assume that he'd only slipped out of it. I considered taking him to my workplace, but thought better. Mira would definitely be overwhelmed if I brought in a stray dog, and I didn't want to do that to her.

I also considered heading back to my apartment to apply some type of first aid, but I didn't want to be late. I'd never been late before, and I didn't want to let a few cuts and bruises ruin my streak.

And so I took a deep breath and limped on, imagining a parallel universe where all of the ground was made of trampolines and everyone just bounced everywhere. Ok, so I'm a bit…imaginative. Unique, I like to call myself. I've been called weird before, though, and I acknowledge that I'm out of the ordinary. Always have been, too. When I was a little kid, I always loved cowboys more than princesses. Red more than purple. Baseball more than dance class. I'm not sure I'm what you might call a tomboy, but I'm pretty close. I own an X-Box One, a PS3, and a Wii. I hate my Wii with a burning passion and worship my X-Box like a god. Sigh. I told you, I'm not your average gal.

Sometimes I wish a guy would come along who thought that was cool. Sadly, all of the ones that I meet think it's strange. Or they're gay. I've met a lot of gay guys, actually. A lot of the ones that come to the vet have tiny dogs that are overly-puffy and wear little dog clothes. I know this sounds stereotypical, and I don't mean to be, but a majority of those guys are gay. Granted, I haven't met a lot of guys. Still, if I had a choice, I would hide the fact that I play Skyrim and Assassins Creed during my free time, (or as much as I can).

So, as I daydreamed about the guy who would come along and not be gay or think I'm weird, I hobbled towards the subway. I was glad that it wasn't too far from my home, but not glad that I had to make the journey on my injured knees while my palms burned.

I had to push my way past a few people, of course leaving behind several courteous apologies in my wake, before I got to the yellow line that warned me not to cross it…or else death. I sighed, glad that I was on time for my train. Just as I started to relax, to soak in the normality of waiting for the train on a Wednesday morning, my shoulder was suddenly jerked to the side. I thought someone had grabbed my arm, but that's so not what he grabbed. I watched as the red strap of my purse was yanked away from me. Being that I used to play baseball, I'll brag and say that I have catlike reflexes.

I instantaneously grabbed onto my purse, determined not to let this guy get it. My wallet was in there, which meant my dinner was, too, (well…figuratively, of course. It was currently in the form of money). I wasn't about to let this guy take my dinner from me! Oh, and I also wasn't going to let him get my credit cards, ID, and other various other valuables. Still, he was stronger than me. Plus, my hands were in so much pain that it took all I had not to cry. At this point, everyone was rushing onto the train. Nobody glanced my way. My hands gave up on me, the little traitors. I watched as my purse disappeared into the rivers of people that were rushing past me.

I attempted to chase after the guy, but he was long gone. There was someone who wasn't long gone, though. The freaking idiot of a dog. Seriously!? He was just sitting there, staring at me and whimpering. The little guy had followed me into the subway! I wanted to keep looking for the dude who'd snatched my purse and run away like a little coward, (he seriously deserved my wrath…which is not pretty), but the dog was about to be trampled! I mean, what kind of heartless people just walk over a dog!? I was furious, and I had to come to the dog's defense. I rushed to him immediately and grabbed him, my hands screaming at me to stop, (again…figuratively), and protected him with my own body. I was big enough that people wouldn't trample me, so it was relatively safe.

I clung to the whimpering puppy as people poured into the train cars around me. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting the morning rush out. When I finally opened my eyes, the doors to the train were shutting.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I missed my train. At least I can say it was valiant; I protected a dog, and missed my train.

I watched as the lights disappeared into the darkness of the tunnel and sat down on one of the benches. The puppy jumped up beside me and curled up on my lap. Apparently, he'd decided he liked me. I scratched his head and he nuzzled my fingers. I sighed and hung my head.

And that is how the knot won. By existing. If I hadn't had to wrestle with that knot, I wouldn't have forgotten my sunglasses, wouldn't have been blinded by the sun, wouldn't have tripped on this dog, wouldn't have had my purse stolen, and wouldn't have missed my train…which would inevitably mean I would be late for work, no matter how hard I tried.

"This is seriously the worst morning every," I said to him. He looked up and me and blinked. "This sucks."

He whimpered when I set him down next to me. "Sorry, but my lap can't be your throne any longer. The next train's coming soon."

Ok, pause for a second.

Before I tell you what happened in that subway car, which I was stepping into that very moment, I have to give you another fact about myself. I hated physics in high school. It was my least favorite class. I just thought you should know that before you find out what happened to me on that subway train. If you're curious, no; I didn't really have a reason for hating physics class, and I still don't after careful consideration.

Alright. If you're curious as to what happened in that lucky—yes, I have decided my horrible morning was actually lucky—subway car, you'll have to read the next part of my story. It's worth it; trust me, because I'm the one who had the sucky slash lucky morning. Though I thought I was struck by disaster, being flung across that subway car was the best moment of my life. And though the incident may have involved my hyperactive imagination, the outcome didn't. Which is why I was lucky.

Read the next chapter if you've gotten this far. It's more than likely worth it.

Next Chapter Preview:

"Wait! I'm not a drug dealer! I swear! The only thing I smuggle is small dogs! …And sometimes food!"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned by the fact that the guy you were just talking to tried to steal money from you."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Eh, don't care. My purse was already stolen along with my dignity."