Name: A Trip to The Dungeons (Sucky title, I know)

Pairings: DenNor, RussLiet.

Characters: Denmark (Mathias Køhler), Cuba (Carlos Machado), United States of America (Alfred F. Jones), Russia (Ivan Braginsky), Lithuania (Toris Laurinaitis), South Italy (Lovino Vargas), Norway (Lukas Bondevik), Prussia (GilbertBeilschmidt), Romania (Vasilica Lupei).

A/N: Just thought I'd try out a Pottertalia AU! It's a one shot, but I plan to write more one shot's in the same universe! Be sure to check out the poll on my profile to see what my next oneshot should focus on! By the way if it prevents confusion, England is the Care of Magical Creatures professor and head of Slytherin house, while Spain is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and head of Gryffindor house. If you see any mistakes please tell me! Hope you enjoy!

Mathias groaned. He had a full charms essay and had to finish brewing a sleeping potion by tomorrow! There was no way he could do it on his own.

He sat there, all alone in the Gryffindor dorm, moaning and groaning about this fact (instead of actually doing said homework), when suddenly he shot up like someone had splashed water on him.

"Lukas!" The Danish boy jumped off his bed and dashed out of the empty dorm. He sprinted down the stairs.

Only to be confronted by the huge group of people still celebrating Gryffindor's victory against Slytherin earlier that day. "Mathias! Glad to see that our best beater has finally joined us!" Carlos clapped him on the back, ignoring the indignant "Hey!" that came from the team's other beater, Alfred F. Jones.

Mathias turned to the Cuban and whispered, "Dude, I need you to cover for me, if anyone asks I'm going to the bathroom on the third floor 'cuz it's cleaner." Before he could protest the taller boy burst out laughing saying "That's hilarious Carlos, but I really have to take a piss now! See ya." And suddenly the fifth year was gone, already crawling out of the portrait hall to the other side.

Having gotten clear of that, he waited a few seconds, to see if anyone would follow. No one did. Grinning once he realized this Mathias began sliding down the banister of the near by stairs. They were less active at night and as a result didn't move. The teen zipped through the next seven floors in the same manner, not getting caught and enjoying the adrenaline rush.

That is until he reached the door that he dreaded. The door that separated the rest of the castle from the dungeons. It was old, heavy, and most importantly loud! If he wasn't careful, the entire castle would know that someone was out of bed!

He sled it open, just enough to get through and not mess up his signature spiked up hair (Abel stole it from him). Still it slammed heavily when Mathias let it go, causing him to cringe. The Dane slowly and silently creeped away from the door, and right when he thought no one had heard it, he heard the singing.

It was in what seemed to be Russian, a fact that caused shivers to run down his back. Of course Ivan was patrolling, just like the perfect prefect would!

Cursing in Danish under his breath, Mathias prepared to move forward, after all, he had made it this far, no point in turning around. He crawled at what seemed like snails speed to the final hallway in dungeons, the end of it hosting the door to the Slytherin common room.

Cheering silently to himself, the teen strode forward, almost forgetting to stay in the shadows, only to freeze when he heard a voice.

"Ivan? You there?" A boy that looked one or two years younger than him stepped out of the darkness, not 5 feet in front of him. He had longish brown hair and from what Mathias could see, was wearing Hufflepuff robes. The Danish boy faintly recognized him as Toris Laru- something, a boy that was often harassed by Slytherins for being muggle born.

Said prefect immediately came sweeping down the hall, hugging the (much) smaller boy and kissing the top of his head. "Дорогая моя (My dear), I thought you weren't coming!"

Blinking at the unexpected sight, Mathias froze for a moment, then realized that if the two looked up from their, ahm, makeout session, then he would most likely be spotted.

Deciding to use the, um, distraction to slink past, the Dane whispered the password to the door (flying mint bunny, as chosen by the head of Slytherin house, Arthur Kirkland) and entered.

As expected it was empty. It was about midnight after all. Mathias quickly ran up the right set of stairs leading to the boys dorms. He counted five doors before stopping and knocking. A groan could be heard inside the room, followed by a quiet conversation and a muffled thunk.

The door opened to reveal a very angry looking Lovino standing there.

"Lovino! Long time no se-"

"You saw me during Divination yesterday, you bastard. I take it you want to talk to your boytoy?" At these words a rather large book flew into the back of the Italian's head.

"Go back to sleep Lovino. Go get Gilbert to sleep as well." Lukas calmly took a sip of his cup of coffee that he apparently got from nowhere (magic, dur). "What do you need? The sleeping potion, or the transfiguration and charms essays?"

Mathias smiled and leaned against the doorframe. "I just need you honey." Moments later he cried out in pain as Lukas had stomped on his stockinged foot.

"Enough with the flirting. I'm tired and want to go back to sleep. Now, what do you need?"

Now leaning against the doorframe for support as he rubbed his aching foot, the Danish boy told him: "The charms essay and the potion, please."

Lukas turned back into his dorm room, revealing Ivan's empty, tidy bed, Lovino trying to sleep, and Gilbert making suggestive faces at Mathias behind Lukas' back (He got a potions textbook in the face).

The Norwegian boy was back after a moment holding the needed homework in a small satchel, which he held out to the taller Gryffindor, whose eyes then lit up.

"Dude! Thanks! You're the best!" Mathias picked him up in a sweeping hug.

By the time he let him down, the Slytherin's face was still blank. Mathias looked like he was about to say something when he noticed the clock behind Lukas.

"One o'clock! Already! Got to go! Love ya!" After a quick peck on the lips (Which, by the way, caused Lukas' cheeks to reden quite a bit), the boy was gone, sprinting down the stairs.

He swung the common room door open and promptly ran into Ivan.

"Why, hello there, Mathias."

"Hi, Ivan. Got to go! Bye!" The boy barely paused, breezing past the creepy Russian and making his way out of the dungeons. He was back up at the Fat Lady within five minutes. After whispering the password (Tomatoes! Figures Professor Fernández Carriedo would pick that) he crawled through the portrait hole back into the common room.

The party looked like it never even paused in his absence. Next thing he knew Alfred and Vasilica were on either side of him, both slightly drunk.

"That was a really long piss."

{3 pages on google docs, 1227 words}