Title: The Playboy

Rated: T for the Playboy and swear words

Summery: When Arnold goes into the school's bathroom he didn't expect to find Stinky, Harold and Sid looking at a playboy. Arnold really didn't expect to be pulled into it. Gerald would have to solve the mystery of who brought the Playboy to school.

Author's Note: Consider this a prequel to Hey Arnold: Life Changes. This fic is in the same universe as LC.

The Playboy

It was 1985 and Arnold and the gang were now in PS 118's middle school. It was the same school. It was just on the other side of the school were the 7th and 8th grade classes were held.

Lunch had just ended and Arnold and Gerald were walking through the hallway, killing time before their next class would start.

Curly ran up to them excitedly holding something in his hand.

"Hey guys, I just got a new Garbage Pail Kids card. Wanna trade?" The dark haired boy held out the card showing the two boys.

They both jerked, nearly gaging, at the graphic image.

"Ew, Curly that's sick!" Gerald shirked in disgust. His expression then change to casual smile. "Sure." He went into his back pocket and pulled out his own cards to trade.

Arnold felt the sudden need to use the bathroom.

Arnold tapped him on the arm. "Hey I'll catch up with you, Gerald." Arnold started taking some steps towards the bathroom.

"Alright." Gerald said distractedly trying to decide what card he wanted to trade. He looked up. "Oh wait—You coming over later to play Atari?"

"Yeah sure thing." Arnold shouted before going into the bathroom.

He heard a gasp. At the back of the bathroom near the window was Stinky, Sid, and Harold.

They all had their hands behind their backs looking nervous.

They let out the breath they were holding.

"Aw Arnold man it's just you." Sid said in relief.

"What are you guys up to now?" Arnold asked approaching them.

Arnold's eyes widen. "Is that a—"

"Playboy." Sid smirked. "Nice, eh? And that's just the cover."

Arnold blinked.

"Harold found it in cafeteria." Stinky chirped.

"So you're looking at a dirty magazine at school that doesn't even belong to you?" Arnold asked.

"We'll let you look at it with us if you promise not to snitch." Harold smirked waving it in front of him.

"I think I'll pass." Arnold said. He turned around to make way towards the door. He suddenly felt like skipping using the bathroom.

"What? Come on Arnold don't tell me you're chicken?"

"I just don't want to get in involved like the last time you three were up to no good."

"Oh c'mon Arnold. That was freakin' 4th grade! This is middle school. We're mature now. Practically men. Men look at playboy."

"Yeah. Are you a man or are you a sissy? Huh, Ar-noldddd?" Harold sang in a mockingly baby talk voice.

Arnold kept walking towards the door.

"Do you even like chicks cause I never seen you with a girlfriend."

Arnold froze right between reaching for the doorknob. He turned around and looked at them half-lidded. "Alright I'm in."

"That a boy!" They cheered as he joined them. They all huddled in together near the window again and Harold opened the magazine up. Arnold face was faintly red.

Someone let out a low whistled.

"You think the girls here are gonna look like that when they grow up?"

"Yeah like Rhonda…"

"What about Rhonda?" Harold asked darkly.

"Nuthing," Sid said quickly, his fantasies quickly fading away.

"I reckon Ms. Lila would look like this, huh fellas?"

Arnold shrugged. He had gotten over his crush for the redhead ever since the whole Timberly fiasco in 4th grade. Though he wasn't gaga over her he had to admit Lila was becoming a prettier preteen than he expected. She was already developing breasts and he heard from the other girls' gossip that she just started wearing a bra.

The bell rang.

Arnold looked up from the magazine."We should get to class."

"Nah hold on a minute." Harold said. He turned a page.

"That's going to be my wife." Sid pointed.

Stinky rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, like you could get a girl like that." he sneered. "She wasn't even as good-looking as the redhead."

"What? She was totally better looking than the redhead!" Sid cried. He turned to Arnold. "What do you think, Arnold… Arnold?"

Though Arnold knew looking at the magazine was wrong he couldn't pry his eyes from it nor stop the sudden urges his body was feeling. He turned to another page. A woman in red thong and her arms folded over her bare chest to hide her nipples but also smush her breasts together. Another page and a large spread of a completely nude woman. She wasn't covering anything.

"Yeah…" Was all he said.

Harold turned to another page.

"Gee willikers," Stinky gasped.

"You can say that again." Sid said, slyly.

Suddenly the bathroom door open. All the boys jumped. Harold swiftly stuffed the magazine into his shirt before he turned around.

They turned to see, of all people, Principle Wartz.

He paused from going to the urinals when he spotted the boys.

"What are you boys doing? Didn't you hear the bell ring? You should be in class."

"Oh Principle Wartz! We were just um…"

all the boys fumbled for an excuse until Harold got a an idea.

"Washing the graffiti off the bathroom stalls!" he exclaimed.

They all nodded.

"Right Arnold?" Harold asked. Everyone known Arnold as a golden boy. He hardly ever got in trouble so Harold thought if Wartz was going to believe his excuse it had to be backed up by Arnold.

"Right," Arnold lied.

Wartz glared down at them. He looked Arnold right in his eyes. Arnold shifted uncomfortably.

"You are obviously lying." The principle declared. " I'm going to have to search all of you."

All the boys flinched.

"No," Harold said sweating.

"Okay boys raise your hands out so I can see them."

They all hastily did so but Harold kept holding onto his shirt. Wartz frowned at this. He stepped closer to the 16 year old.

"Hmmm, Harold your look larger than usual."

"It's baby fat!" Harold whined.

"Right." Principle Wartz snorted. "Would you mind releasing the bottom of your shirt?"

Harold looked down at his shirt then back at the aged man. "Ugh..."

"Now." The principle said sternly.

Harold squeezed his eyes shut, sighed, and let go and the magazine fell out from his shirt and on to the floor.

All four of the boys were sweating for what was to come.

Wartz bended down and picked up the magazine. "What's this?" His eyes were not what they use to be so he readjusted his glasses. The image slowly came to focus. His eyes widen. "Oh my!"

He lowered the magazine furiously and glared at the four boys. His eyes were red with anger.

"In my office now."

.~.

After class Helga split ways with Phoebe and went to bathroom. She wondered why Arnold didn't show up for class. She seen him all day until this point and she was worried if something had happened. Her teacher pointed out the missing of Harold Sid, and Stinky as well but Helga could care less about the Three Stoogies.

With only herself in the bathroom Helga pulled out her precious locket and looked at her crush's photo. I hope you're alright...

Suddenly she heard the voices of girls and she could hear Rhonda's voice among them. "Oh Criminy." Helga placed the locket back under her shirt and quickly made a dive into a vacant bathroom stall. She slammed the door.

She didn't want to be attacked by Rhonda and the other girls. She didn't want to be another guinea pig for one of Rhonda's makeovers.

Helga sat on the toilet and raised her legs up to her chin so no one would notice her sneakers.

Outside the stall she could hear the girls piling in.

"Yeah I heard it from Gerald," Rhonda was saying as she set her books down, lean on the wall, and started looking through her magazine. "Sid, Harold, Stinky, and Arnold are in detention for looking at a Playboy."

Helga jerked in the stall. "Playboy?!" She shouted but then covered her mouth. She processed the information in her head. Arnold was looking at photos of older, curvier women? That jerk, Helga thought in jealousy. The fucking fart ass!

"Wow, I can't believe that." Sheena gasped.

Lila tilted her head in confusion. "What's a Playboy?"

"Lila you can't really be that naive." Rhonda said turning a page of the magazine.

Lila blushed. She honestly had no idea.

"Seriously Lila? It's a dirty magazine of naked ladies." Nadine informed.

Lila's high pig tails bobbed as she gasped. Her face flushed. "Oh my!"

Rhonda lowered her Cosmopolitan magazine and noticed Nadine's ears. "Oh c'mon Nadine you can't honestly wear sticker earrings. Your thirteen now. That's childish." Rhonda said. She was sporting fancy pair of pearl earrings.

"But my mom won't get my ears prices until I'm fifteen." Nadine frowned.

Rhonda looked at Sheena as she walked over to a stall.

"Sheena, I can't believe you're wearing a tee shirt clip. That is so 6th grade."

Sheena frowned and looked down at the wore a round green tee shirt clip at the bottom of her shirt. "But I like my clip."

Rhonda rolled her eyes. "If you like that look."

Sheena went into the stall.

Lila was still coming over her shock. "I had no idea the boys would read something like that, especially Arnold."

They snorted. "He's a boy. Boys are stupid."

"Men like big boobs. It's just how they are programmed." Rhonda inspected herself in the mirror. She patted down her denim looked at her own chest. "That's why I'm preparing now."

They're just tissue." Nadine sneered.

The raven haired girl glared at her. "Ugh, it's certainly not tissue, Nadine. I would never stuff my bra with tissue." She said defensively. She looked back at the mirror and pushed her bra up. "It's pudding." she added.

Just then the toilet flushed and Sheena stepped out.

"You stuff your bra with pudding?" Lila raised an brow.

"So it can jiggle. It's more realistic that way." Rhonda explain. "You're lucky Lila. Yours are already coming in."

When Sheena was done washing her hands she step pass Nadine and grabbed a paper towel.

"Lucky? That's not how my dad sees it." Lila said smiling. She only had her father. Puberty wasn't the easiest time for Mr. Sawyer to be a single father.

"Having big boobs aren't everything. You should be happy with your natural beauty," Sheena said.

Rhonda snorted. "Spoken like a true hippy." Rhonda grabbed her books and magazine.

"On another note. Have you seen what Helga G. Pataki was wearing today? I mean, what's with the baggy shirt and bleached jeans? Can you say disaster." Rhonda said as they walked out the bathroom as the girls followed behind her.

"Where the hell did he get a playboy anyway." She huffed. She then remembered something. Helga's eyes then snapped open and she gasped. She made a quick dash for her locker.

.~.

Principle Wartz had called the boys parents. Harold's mom was crying about losing her baby while his dad, Jerry, felt that it was perfectly natural for Harold to be looking at dirty magazines at his age. Marilyn and Jerry had an dispute about it. Words were said like, "You're babying him. He's a hormonal teenager in middle school" and "You're not taking this seriously. Do you want me to look like that?!" The argument became less and less about Harold.

Sid's dad, Ray was annoyed that he was brought of of work for something so small. He didn't think it was a big deal. Ray even told a story about looking a dirty photos himself when he was about Sid's age but Wartz urged him to punish Sid to Sid's disappointment.

Stinky's dad told him that what he did was wrong and disrespectful towards ladies. Stinky's dad told him he loved him and that they will have a man to man talk over his mom's home made cookies later.

Arnold came out of the office. He had just had the lecture of his life from his grandpa. The shock and cross expression on Phil's face was imprinted in his mind. What was worst was that Phil also looked hurt. Arnold didn't want to make his grandpa be disappointed in him.

Arnold looked up and saw Lila standing there with her books in hand. It seemed like she was waiting for. She had a troubled look on her face. It was a face that looked not too off from the look Arnold's grandpa gave him when Wartz told him what happened. Before he could ask her anything she spoke.

"Is it true? I heard everything." she said softly.

He didn't need her to elaborate. Arnold knew what she was talking about. He sighed. "Yeah it's true."

"Arnold, I had no idea you would read something so... so... distasteful."

"Lila—"

"I thought you were more of a gentleman than that," Lila interrupted.

Arnold frowned. She was scalding him as if she was his mother.

"Okay I get that your angry," Arnold said. He pointed behind him. "but I already had a lecture—"

"I'm not angry. I'm just ever so much disappointed in you. Just ever so much..." She said before walking away.

Arnold frowned. Her words sting. They might as well have came from his grandpa. Suddenly a big arm came from behind him and wrap itsself on his shoulder. Arnold turn to see Harold.

"Oh forget her Arnold. You're a man now." Harold grinned. Then a hand came and grabbed Harold by the ear.

"Ow!"

"Come on Harold. We are going home to discuss your punishment." Marilyn huffed angrily.

"Ow, but ma-"

"Don't sass me." She said and started walking down the hallway with Harold struggling to keep up with her pace. "Ow. This is unfair dad doesn't mind." he whined.

Jerry sighed and gave his son a sorry look before following suit.

Arnold blinked at the scene.

Just then Phil walked out of the office as well. Arnold turned to face him.

"C'mon short man, we are going home to discuss your punishment."

.~.

Once Arnold and Phil got home to the boarding house Arnold went into the dining room and started on his homework. Phil came into the dinning room with a plastic bag and dumped out the items onto the table.

Arnold blinked at the many packs of cigarettes that was just poured out onto the table. He lowered his text book and looked up at his grandpa.

Phil had a cross expression on his face.

"You aren't going anywhere till you smoke each and every box of cigarettes." Phil said sternly.

Arnold blinked.

"But I don't get it. I looked at a dirty magazine so my punishment is for me to smoke cigarettes?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

Phil smiled.

"Yupe. You're gonna get so sick from smoking you won't ever look at a magazine again. That's how my father straighten me out." He said proudly then paused. "Wait. That can't be right." He scratched his head trying to remember his father's discipline.

Arnold sighed.

Mr. Potts walked in and sat down at the table next to Arnold with a sandwich on a plate.

"So Arnold I heard you were looking at playboy. Good for you." He elbowed the preteen and winked. "If you want I can lend you some of mines."

Arnold didn't feel good. He had dentine and his grandpa was going to make him smoke about 15 packs of cigarettes.

"hey don't encourage the boy. What he did is wrong and he should be punished by smoking these cigarettes." He put one in Arnold's mouth.

"or maybe I'm suppose to take you to a whore house. Oh what am I saying you don't need any of that." He took the cigarette out of Arnold's mouth and chuck it. "What you need is a talk."

Phil sat down on the other side of the table so he and Arnold were facing each other. "Okay Arnold it seems that you're at that age where we should have the, you know, talk."

He was interrupted by the munching sound of Mr. Pott's eating. He turned to Mr. Potts. "Will you take that somewhere else. You're getting crumbs everywhere, ya horse!"

The short man groaned. He got up and walked away with his plate. Now alone Arnold and Phil could have a man to man talk. Somehow Phil couldn't say anything.

Arnold blinked. He looked like just an innocent boy. That was how Phil saw his grandson. An innocent boy. When did he grow up to the point Phil had to give him the talk?

Phil suddenly felt very awkward. They both felt awkward. Phil had a hard enough time having the sex talk with Miles when he was about is age. Frankly Phil wanted it to be down with as quickly as possible. Looking back Phil couldn't even remember exactly what he said to Phil. He did't know just what to say to Arnold as a old man.

"So um..."

Arnold looked down. Phil looked to the side and scratched the back of his neck.

Arnold couched.

Phil cleared his throat.

There was a long moment of silence and avoiding eye contact.

Phil forced a smile and got up. "Well I'm glade we had had this talk." He walked to Arnold and patted him on the shoulder.

"Finish your homework and don't look at dirty magazines again." Phil hurried out the room as fas as he could leaving Arnold sitting there dumbfounded.

.~.

The next day of school everyone was talking about the Playboy. It seemed like most of the girls were giving Arnold, Harold, Sid and Stinky the silent treatment.

During lunch Wartz mad a announcement through the intercom.

"Someone brought an pornographic magazine to school grounds. You should all know that it is inappropriate and will not be looked over. Who ever own the magazine should turn themselves in."

The lunchroom exploded in chatter. Boys were asking Sid, Arnold, Harold, and Stinky what it was like to look at a playboy.

They had become quit popular in one day.

While Stinky, Harold, and Sid gloat, Arnold didn't like the attention that much. He still had detention and most of the girls weren't talking to him. Helga made sure to tease him about the whole situation.

In lunch she came to his table just to taunt him. "Wassup, football head." Helga sat down between him and Gerald." So I hear you like looking at girls."

Before Arnold could say anything Helga continued.

"I guess it's true what they say, the good ones grow up to be the most perverted."

Arnold lowered his hamburger to his tray. "Helga do you mind leaving me alone?" Arnold asked annoyed.

"Hold up a minute I got more material." She laughed. "Are you planning on becoming Hugh Hefner? I bet your folks would be happy about that."

Arnold groaned.

"Dude that would be awesome!" One kid exclaimed.

Helga got from her seat.

"Well I'm leaving before you start undressing me with your eyes, hot stuff." She joked then walked away laughing.

.~.

At the end of the school day Gerald and Arnold were getting their bags from their lockers.

"Hey wanna come over and play Atari?" Gerald asked lifting his bag up onto his shoulders.

"I can't Gerald. I got detention." Arnold said dully.

"Oh yeah for the Playboy." Gerald grunted. Arnold didn't pick up on the irritation of his voice.

Arnold blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah."

.~.

Sid, Arnold, Harold, and Stinky sat at their desk, looking up at Wartz as he spoke.

"I understand you are at the age of, um, puberty." Wartz was saying as he walked back and forth from the room. "You're bodies are going through changes and you have feelings you can't control..."

"Ugh, I reckon he sounds like those PSA movies they make us watch in health class." Stinky muttered to Arnold.

"But this is a school." The principle continued loudly. "We have rules that are meant to be obeyed."

He paused from walking and stood. "Okay boys suppose I actually believed your story of just happen to finding this magazine on the playground. Who does it belong to?"

"We don't know." Arnold said annoyed, his eyes half lidded.

"Boys I hope you understand that having a playboy is inappropriate and has no place on school grounds."

"We told you we didn't bring it. We found it." Harold said. The other boys agreed.

"Well you all just earn three more days added to your detention."

They all groaned.

"But Principle Wartz!"

"This isn't fair!"

"We're innocent!"

.~.

The next day of detention the boys had to watch an PSA from the 50s. They sat there bored and confused at the video.

"What the hell is this?" Sid asked annoyed. "When was this made, when tv was first invited?"

"Where's the color?" Stinky asked.

"Dude, was the couch just checkin' that kid out?!" Arnold asked.

"Why does the couch just happen to have a picture of some dude's junk?"

Harold only snored. He had fallen asleep as soon as the movie started to play.

Principle Wartz cut the movie off. "Alright, alright. The movie didn't need you boys commentary."

"Now which one of you is going to tell me where you got the playboy from?"

"We told you, Harold found it at the playground." Sid groaned.

"It was just laying there. I don't know who it belonged to." Harold cried.

Wartz glared at them. "Fine you boys can stay in detention longer if you choose to not corporate."

"No damnit. This is bullshit!" Harold yelled banging his hands on his desk.

"Young man do you want to add more days to your detention?" Wartz yelled.

"Fine I don't care but it's not gonna make me tell you who it was because I don't know. If I knew who it belong to I would have ratted out along time ago and not have to deal with this crap." Harold barked.

Wartz's eyes narrowed.

Harold spent the rest of detention writing out "I will not use profanity in school" 100 times at his desk.

.~.

Wartz had grown very tired of the boys in his office. Days went by and still no one said who the playboy belonged to. He was in Sid's face.

"Now Sid I know me and you have a history of your pranks. You really wouldn't want another incident on your permitted record. You will be suspended if you don't tell me who brought this to school."

"WHY?!" Sid cried sinking into his desk.

"Ugh, bringing phonographic martial to school is against our policy." Wartz informed angrily.

"Why?" Sid grunted through his teeth, folding his arms.

"Because phonographic images are not inappropriate to look at," Wartz said, his voice raised a bit.

The other boys could do nothing but watch as Sid and Wartz argued.

"But if you saw a woman that was super hot and wore mini skirt or something you would look wouldn't ya?" Sid challenged.

Wartz stuttered for a moment, unsure how to answer. He quickly got angry and decided he didn't need to answer the question. "That is not the point. The magazine is offensive."

"If it's so offensive why did the babes let their pictures be taken, huh?" Sid argued. "No one was aiming a gun at their head. They obviously wanted people to look at them."

Mr. Wartz's face grew red with anger.

"Silence. I am not arguing with a child!" He exploded. "I will get a confession out of you boys. I swear it." He yelled pointing at all four of the boys.

.~.

The next day of school Arnold came to Gerald's locker with a troubled look on his face.

"Wassup, jailbait." he joked glancing out of his locker for a moment.

Arnold didn't look amused.

"Gerald I really need your help. If Principle Wartz don't find out who really brought the magazine to school he's gonna think I brought it and I'll get suspended and it'll go on my permitted record." Arnold said.

Gerald continued to search his locker. "So."

"So?!" Arnold said in disbelief.

"So whatever." Gerald looked at him and shrugged uncaringly. "I'm still mad at you."

Arnold raised an eye brow. "You're mad at me? Why?"

Gerald sighed. "Cause you had the chance to look at a playboy magazine and didn't get me? That's just cruel. Now everyone in school looks up to you guys as big shots or something and I'm out the loop. We're suppose to be bros."

Arnold sighed. "We are. Okay, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it but I wasn't even planing on looking. It just happened. Anyway I'm in a deep jam here. I need you to do me a solid and find out who brought the magazine. Please." Arnold said desperately.

Gerald looked down at his pleading friend.

Gerald sighed. "Alright. Alright. I'll see what I can do." He shut his locker.

.~.

Gerald investigated. He knew the magazine was found by Harold at the outside lunch table. Only middle school students could have lunch outside. That eliminated his search to only the 7th and 8th graders.

The big brawny blonde mullet teen. Gerald caught him on the roof smoking with his buddies, Edmund and the other guy that he didn't know by name.

"C'mon Wolfgang." Gerald was saying. "I checked my sources and the evidence leads to you. No one else would be brave enough to own a Playboy but you."

Wolfgang puffed out smoke. "Yeah I got playboys." he smirked.

"I got a whole closet full of em. Broads posted on my walls but I wouldn't be as stupid to leave it at the playground at lunch. That's just sloppy work." Wolfgang said.

Gerald frowned. He thought for sure it was Wolfgang. Suddenly he heard footsteps approaching behind him He turned to see Ludwig with a mad expression on his face.

"Hey who said you were the toughest guy here?" Ludwig argued.

Wolfgang dropped his cigarette and snuffed it with his sneaker.

"Looks like everyone." he smirked. "You wanna challenge me?"

"It's already on." The two started a fist fight.

Gerald eased away before he became a helpless bystander.

.~.

Gerald search lead him away from the school grounds.

Gerald knocked on the door of the old shack behind a building. Peehole door slide opened and a pair of dark eyes looked at him.

Gerald cleared his throat. "I'm here to see Big Gino."

"On what business?"

"The playboy." Gerald said simply.

The slide door closed and Gerald could hear muffled voices for a moment then silence. Then the door opened.

"C'mon in." the redhead mobster greeted.

Gerald walked into the shack. He walked pass a pile of boxes to Gino's desk. He was the same old Gino, just taller with a few pimples.

The brunette thirteen year old smirked. "Ah, Gerald. You're Arnold's friend, right? What brings you on this visit?"

Gerald knew he had to play it cool when dealing with Gino. He placed his hand on the desk and gave him a sly look. "You know why I'm here, Big Gino. I heard you knew something about the playboy. Tell me what you know."

Gino popped the lollipop out his mouth and chuckled."What is this? An interrogation? Are you a cop or something?"

"You're funny, Gerald. I like you." Big Gino snapped his fingers.

"Please may I offer you some Marbobo?"

Gerald look at it. "Candy cigarettes? Aren't these illegal?"

The brunette mobster leader smirked. "Not everywhere. I have my ways of getting what I want."

Gerald frowned. "I bet you do." He took one and put the pipe in his mouth. He sucked on it and the rich flavor of chocolate rubbed on his tongue. How could anyone ban something so wonderful was beyond him.

"Anyway Gino I'm here on business, he said throw the candy in his mouth. "About the playboy—"

"I don't know nothung about no playboy." Big Gino said quickly.

Gerald furrowed his brow. "Then why am I here, Gino?"

"Oh I don't know." Gino waved innocently. "Even if I did see somethang my memory is foggy."

Gerald threw down the payment on his desk the folded his arms.

Gino picked the money up, counted it and smirked.

"Ah wait I think I remember." Big Gino said. "I was at the playground doing business as usual when the incident to happen. Yes at the playground someone dropped the Playboy near the seating area before Harold picked it up."

"Who?" Gerald asked.

"Alright I'll tell you but you're not gonna believe it." Gino warned.

"Darn it Gino just tell me." Gerald demanded. The suspense was killing him.

Gino sighed. "Alright, alright." Gino waved his hands.

As Gino said the name Gerald's eyes widen and his mind was shocked.

.~.

Wartz was now trying to interrogate Arnold. Arnold had answered every question truthfully. He didn't see a Playboy at the playground and could only take Harold's word that he found it there.

"Okay Arnold. It is four o'clock and you still refuse to tell me who brought the Playboy to school."

"Because I don't know. And even if I did know who it was I'm not a rat." Arnold said defensively.

"Well alright young man. You're principles has earn you and your friends to take full responsibility of the material being on school grounds and I will have to suspend you all for a whole week."

the boys groaned.

Sid turned to Harold

"Harold why don't you just confess. We all know you just made up that finding it at the playground stuff." Sid said angrily.

"What?! I did not. You're probably the one that dropped it. Everyone knows your family are hobos." Harold yelled.

And what about me?" Stinky asked angrily.

"Guys calm down. You're just turning on each other." Arnold said worriedly.

Suddenly the door flung open.

"Objection!" Gerald yelled. Helga was behind him scowling.

"Wha-what?" Wartz fumbled.

"Oh nothing I just always wanted to say it." Gerald shrugged.

"What do you two think your doing barging in my office." Wartz yelled storming up to them.

"I know who brought the playboy. We have a confession." Gerald explained.

"Oh we do." Wartz glared down at Gerald.

"Yeah it's mine." a feminine voice said.

Wartz blinked. "Excuse me." He turned around and looked down at the young girl.

"I brought the playboy to school. It fell out of my book bag at the lunch. It belongs to me." Helga confessed crossing her arms.

Stinky. Harold, Arnold and Sid looked at each other confused.

"You?!" He asked in disbelief, adjusting his glasses.

"Yeah. Doi!" Helga huffed. "Now can I have my playboy back. My dad is going to kill me if he doesn't get it back soon."

The boys stood from their seats.

"I don't understand." Wartz said.

"Oh just put me in detention already." Helga scowled. She walked over to Arnold and poked him in his chest. "Looks like you're off the hook, bucko."

Arnold blinked. "R-right."

"Well um..." Wartz looked back at the boys. He readjusted his tie and cleared his throat. His face was slightly red from embarrassment. "Well I guess you all can go. Sorry about not believe you boys."

The boys smiled and walked out the office leaving Wartz and Helga.

Wartz turned back to Helga. "Now young lady you should know material like this is, um." he cleared his throat. Using the same discipline on a girl was not as easy. "Not allowed..."

Arnold and Gerald paused at the door and did their secret handshake before leaving.

"Thanks for having my back." Arnold said.

"No sweat." Gerald said.

"Yeah thanks Gerald. You saved all of our butts." Sid smiled. The rest of the boys agreed and expressed their thanks.

When the boys walked out of the school Stinky talked again.

"I know one thing is for sure I'm never looking at a Playboy again."

"Seriously?" Arnold asked.

"Are you kidding?" Stinky sneered. "You know my parents sat me down and had, the talk with me. There are just some things you don't put a kid through."

"I know. My rabbi gave me a bunch of pamphlets," Harold said stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"We should just enjoy being kids." Arnold said.

"Yeah we're only 7th graders once." Stinky said.

"Except if you're Harold." Sid injected. Harold growl at him. Sid hushed up.

They continued to walk down the sidewalk.

"...It sure would have been nice to see a naked babes though," Gerald sighed.

.~.

The End

Arthur's Note: The PSA the boys were watching I got from a real video from the 50s. It's called As Boys Grow. You can find it on youtube. It's pretty funny to me.

Yes the playboy belonged to Helga. My first idea for this fic was: "Wouldn't it be funny if the boys were in detention for bringing a Playboy to school but in the end we find out it belonged to Helga?"