Lena feels like her children won't love her enough because she is not their biological mom and Callie feels like Lena wanted a baby because she wasn't good enough. Will Stef be able to show them both just how important they are to each other?
(Takes place after 'Mother' (206)
Stef hadn't meant to listen to what Lena told Dana but when she heard the first few lines of the conversation she just couldn't help herself. It broke her heart that Lena didn't feel like she was completely a part of this family. Besides Brandon, none of the kids were biologically connected to her either and she'd never thought about it before. But maybe having that connection with Brandon had been enough. She would never know just how Lena truly felt.
The thought plagued Stef for the next few days. She wanted Lena to know that she was loved and she was sure that the kids would do everything they possibly could without her even having to ask. She just hoped that Lena could see just how much love they had for her.
Stef was sitting by their bedroom window letting the cool air hit her face when she heard crying from down below. She looked out the window and found Callie sitting on a chair, her knees up, head buried and sobbing. Stef's motherly instincts instantly kicked in as she headed down towards her daughter.
"You alright love?" Stef asked gently as she took a seat next to Callie.
Callie immediately tried to wipe her face and pull it together but she wasn't fooling anyone.
"Sweetheart, talk to me." Stef said, pulling Callie's face up from her knees. "What's going on love."
"I feel like this is my fault." Callie finally said as the sobs overtook her again.
"You feel like what is your fault?" Stef asked surprised. The only thing that was really going on at the moment was Lena and the baby but Stef couldn't make a connection from that to Callie.
"She lost the baby because I wished she didn't exist." Callie finally admitted softly.
"WHAT?" Stef was absolutely shocked, both because Callie just admitted to not wanting the baby and to the fact that she blamed herself for the loss.
"I just felt like I wasn't good enough." Callie explained.
"Sweetheart." Stef said as her heart broke for the teen sitting next to her. "You mean the world to us and no baby would ever change that."
Callie didn't say anything and so Stef continued.
"Why didn't you tell us how you felt?" She asked after a few minutes.
"Everyone was so happy." Callie said. "I didn't want to ruin it."
"Baby, you never have to hide the way you feel." Stef said as she grabbed Callie's hand. "Nothing you could ever say to us would make us not love you or not want to help you."
"I know, it's just..." Callie began but then stopped.
"It's just what love?" Stef encouraged her to continue.
"I'm not adopted and I thought that once the baby came you might change your minds." Callie said softly, looking away from Stef as her eyes filled with tears once again.
"Sweetheart nothing could ever make us not want to adopt you. You need to trust me on that baby." Stef said full of emotion.
Stef pulled Callie up and much to Callie's embarrassment she pulled her onto her lap. Callie tried to get away but Stef held on to her. "No baby stay." She said holding on tight.
"I'm too big for this." Callie said still trying to get off.
"Oh baby you'll never be too big." Stef said pulling Callie back into her. She held on to Callie until she finally stopped struggling and then for a few minutes more just enjoying having her daughter close.
She finally let Callie get off but held on to her hands and turned the girl towards herself.
"Callie none of this is your fault." Stef told her firmly. "You are not to blame for what happened, even if you weren't too happy about the baby. I didn't want mama to have a baby at first either but that doesn't make it my fault. Sometimes things just happen. I don't want you to ever think that you are responsible for any of this, directly or indirectly."
Stef made Callie look at her until she finally acknowledged what Stef had said.
Callie finally nodded and then a frown formed on her face. "You didn't want the baby?" She asked.
"Not when mama first told me she wanted to have one." Stef admitted.
"How come?" Callie asked curiously.
"Six kids, come on." Stef said in a humorous tone, but then in a softer one she added "six kids would have been perfect."
Callie saw the sadness in Stef's eyes. "Even if it isn't my fault, I'm sorry." She said to Stef and Stef gave her a grateful smile.
"Thanks baby." She said giving Callie a kiss. "You what I think." She asked Callie.
"What?" Callie asked.
"I think that mama could really do with some hugs herself." Stef told her.
"I don't want to bother her." Callie said. She honestly felt awkward around Lena. She was so upset and cried a lot and Callie never knew what to say.
"Having her babies around is never a bother." Stef promised.
"I don't know what to say." Callie admitted.
"Tell her how you feel and what you were thinking. Be honest. She may need it just as much as you." Stef told her. She really hoped that Callie admitting to Lena about how she felt would prompt Lena to realize just how much her children loved her and wanted her.
When Stef first heard that not terminating the pregnancy could possibly cost Lena her life she had been terrified. The thought of being a single mother, raising her babies without her best friend and wife beside her was something she couldn't even imagine. Loosing Lena would have killed her and it would have crushed their children and Lena needed to realize this.
"Okay." Callie finally said. "Will you come too?" She asked her. She still felt a little weird and wanted Stef around just in case.
"Of course baby." Stef said with a smile as she reached out a hand for Callie to take.
Together they headed inside to Lena.