Things haven't gone so well for me since I got voted off Pahkitew... Sure I've got lots of people to notice me for even making it on the show but it was only for the publicity... to be on the good side of a possible millionaire, but it's also got me into fights with people that were not happy with my performance on the show.

No one really wanted to be friends with a guy like me. I might have the looks but I was considered 'too much drama' and 'full of myself'. They picked on me for thinking that I could become rich and famous and lately... I've started to doubt that I'll ever be...

It's nice to have some people walk up to me and ask me how it was like on Total Drama. I know if I saw one of the past competitors that I would have done the same thing but it's just a short time thing. My 15 minutes of fame have all but vanished... I was yesterday's news...

After actually watching the episodes that I was in rather than living them, I could see what I did wrong. I realized how backhanded my compliments towards Chris actually sounded... I also saw the reason for auditioning for the show in the first place.

Chris McLean... from his sadistic yet handsome smile to his chiseled yet nearly always hidden chest, I became obsessed... if it was as bad as Sierra's... I honestly don't know...

I craved to be like him from the very beginning. At first, I thought that the reason I was obsessed with him was because I idolized him. I fixated on his strengths and tried my best to be like that. It later brought me into the world of acting and the drama that came with it. Later on, I realized that it wasn't that at all...

I was nearly stunned into silence when I first met Chris; to actually talk to the Chris McLean, even if he was just a hologram. When I met him for real, I never wanted to leave his side and I think that made me as desperate as Sierra when she can't blog or talk to Cody...

I only realized how I felt towards him during one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had. Well, I could've sworn that it was a dream. Though, I always hoped that it wasn't; I wished that it meant a whole lot more...

~I was walking around the island only hours after the elimination of our food. I was looking around and realized that there were trees in places where there weren't any days before. I was too busy taking in the view that I nearly tripped when my foot hit the side of a large rock that hadn't been there only hours before.

"Ow! Woah, that was close," I said as I stood there in front of the rock.

Suddenly, the rock lifted up from the ground like it was some sort of lid. I looked at it closely and realized that it was an entrance or exit of some sort. I pulled back because I was afraid that the rock might fall down on me.

"It looks like a tube or something. I wonder where it goes. Does anyone know this is here?" I asked as I glanced around. "One way to find out..."

I stood up and looked around one more time to make sure that no one saw what I was going to do. I counted silently to three before jumping into the tube and I was terrified when I heard the rock close off the way I came.

After a minute or two of falling and sliding down the tube, I finally saw the ground. I somehow landed on my feet without hurting myself. I looked around and I realized that it was in some underground bunker or something like that. I knew that I should've gone looking for a way to get out but I heard the person I was dying to see.

"What do you mean one of the contestants are missing? Send the interns to go look for them! I don't want any lawsuits for losing a camper," said Chris as the shuffling of feet started to come down the hallway.

I realized that they were heading straight towards me. I quickly glanced around looking for a place to hide and saw a door to my right. I rushed to it and snuck into the room as fast as I could. I pressed my ear against the door to listen as the shuffling went past the room.

"That was close! Least I know that Chris is down here somewhere," I said as I pressed my back on the door.

I reached out to my right in a blind search for a light switch. I finally found it and I'm astonished of the sight before me. The room was breathtaking and looked extremely expensive. I walked around wondering whose room it was but I already assumed that it belonged to Chris.

"Hey, what are you doing in my room?" asked Chris as he came in.

"I... um, came looking for you..." I said as I desperately tried not to stutter.

"Kid, it's late! I have the interns out there looking for you! You're not even supposed to be down here and definitely not in my room! Get out!" he said loudly.

"I'm so sorry! I was trying to sleep but I couldn't. I was hoping that if I went looking for you by walking around the island that it would tire me out... I guess it didn't work," I said as I tried not to stare at Chris.

His shirt was halfway unbuttoned so I could actually see some of his well-toned chest. His hair was dripping wet and I realized that he had probably just taken a shower. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as he stared me down.

"Well you found me... what were you thinking? I hope whatever you wanted to ask me or talk to me about was worth getting in trouble," said Chris as he closed the door behind him.

He walked right up to me to look me in the eye despite the height difference. I don't know what happened or who initiated it but we were both into it... and if anybody asked me, I'd tell them that it was totally worth my early departure.

I was kissing Chris McLean! It felt like I was in heaven and I wished that it would never end...

At first, we kissed hesitantly... as if someone might come in to interrupt us. Then it became slightly more aggressive as we both tried to dominate in our game of tonsil hockey. A moan escaped from one of us as we pressed ourselves together as if our lives depended on it.

Chris knew exactly what he was doing as he pushed me back against a wall and started to work his way out of his shirt. Eventually, he threw it off into a corner to be forgotten for now. I took this time to run my hand across his chest while trying to memorize how his heated skin felt under my hand...

He started to push up my shirt when there was a loud bang on the door. We freeze and I can see the regret all over his face that slowly turns into anger.

"Chris! We haven't found the camper yet! Do you want me to send out the animal robots or one of your Chris 'bots?" asked Chef from the other side of the door.

"Robots?" I asked quietly which made Chris push away from me.

He quickly grabbed his shirt and buttoned it up before he came towards me. He gripped my wrist and hauled me towards the door. He opened it and shoved me at Chef.

"I found him going through my stuff. Get him out of here and make sure that he gets back alive. Don't want any lawsuits... you know what to do. Don't you, Chef?" asked Chris in a bitter voice.

"You got it. Come on, kid. You shouldn't have stuck your nose into other people's business. It's a good thing that you won't stick around long enough to tell anyone," said Chef with an evil smile on his face as he shoved me down the hall.

"What do you mean- AH!" I shouted as I got hit upside my head with something.

My vision started to blur as I fell to the ground with a loud thud. I faintly saw two interns run in our direction. They pick me up and drag me off as I start to pass out.

When I woke up, I was in my bed up in the tree house. I looked around and saw that some of the others were waking up or already up. I just pretended to not to remember what happened that night and went out for the challenge.

I desperately waited for the phone call from the producers and because of that, I lost my chance of winning. When Chris told me that he knew what I did and that he tricked me, I felt like the world fell from beneath me. As I got shoved into the cannon, I could've sworn that Chef had said that he told me not to stick my nose in other people's business and Chris was trying not to look at me.

I couldn't put my finger on it at the time but I was about to before I got shot out of the cannon...~

Could it have been real or was it just a figment of my imagination? I really wasn't sure and I knew that I'd probably never find out. I spent all of my free time trying so hard to move on from Total Drama. There was no way I was going back.

A week or so later, I was forced to stay with my aunt and her son that no one has seen in years. I was upstairs trying to do something that occupied my mind when my aunt called me down for dinner. I was completely taken aback when I saw the man already sitting at the table.

"Chris?" I asked.