A/N:

Merlin fanfiction. I do not own Merlin, it belongs to BBC, etc, etc. Warning: Mergana pairing eventually, Arwen pairing, if you don't like, then don't read it, that's simple.

"Arthur, I heard what happened. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Arthur dismissed Morgana's apologies: "This was all my fault."

Approaching him, Morgana said: "You're not to blame"

Turning to face her, in obvious distress, he added: "I can't accept that I may never see her again."

Morgana continued: "Uther has banished her. Surely you have no choice."

Disagreeing with her, Arthur spoke: "There are always choices."

In confusion, his half-sister asked: "What will you do?"

Taking a moment to answer, the prince finally said: "I'll leave with her."

Incredulous, Morgana inquired: "You're leaving Camelot? You'd give up your rights to the throne?"

Then, standing up, her half-brother answered "One day we will return to Camelot together and Guinevere will take her place on the throne, beside me."

Morgana lowered her head a little, as if absorbing shocking information, lifting her head up and giving Arthur a reassuring smile.

She left the Prince's bedchamber and went directly to her room. If her brother spoke the truth (and for what reason wouldn't he? He isn't some traitorous, sneaky, annoying and bastard manservant, like some, that would lie to her for no apparent motive), then all she had to do was wait to be crowned princess of Camelot.

That would be a much smoother succession, Uther himself would proclaim her as the sole heir to the throne (my father will finally recognize me as his daughter for the whole kingdom, my claim will be undisputed, she thought), all she has to do was "wait" for his death. And there was something else (if I don't meddle, if I don't frame her as a sorceress, then at least Arthur and Gwen could have something that I cannot, to love and be loved, to have the happiness that was never meant for me, instead of death or a life of misery, she thought) that and the fact that her brother couldn't possibly go openly against her in an succession dispute in which he already began as an oath breaker, abandoning the whole of Camelot for a single woman.

Still, there was something bothering her, the inexplicable luck that her prat of a brother had when magic was involved (it didn't make any sense. How did Morgause's spell simple blow out of control and caused the castle of Fryren to crumble conveniently before it hit Arthur? And it wasn't the first time that something similar happened, the prince dealt with his fair share of magical and common foes alike and, regardless of the odds, always got back in one piece, she thought). There could be only one explanation: someone or something with magic was helping him, keeping him safe, for some unknown reason and that could mean that incriminate Gwen of witchcraft to win Arthur's heart could backfire or worse, that obnoxious manservant could thwart her plans (guaranteeing that my maidservant takes my rightful place as queen).

Indeed she had a tough decision to make, because eliminating her brother or her maidservant would make her vision impossible, whereas letting them go somewhere far away in order to live their love in peace could be good for the three of them, but it'd also mean that Arthur could be back at any time and claim the throne of Camelot, in opposition to her lift of the magic ban (but would he have support from the people? Even with him abandoning his entire kingdom for one simple servant? Wouldn't they feel betrayed with such a selfish behavior? Putting his own needs above his duty with his people? Leaving them to suffer in the hands of a tyrant king that has no regards about who dies in his mad quest against magic? But they won't suffer anymore, because I won't let them. I'll get Camelot free from Uther's tyranny, nobody will have to crumble in fear simple for who they are, how they were born, I'll make sure of that).

In truth, her indecision had other causes. It was probably because letting them go would mean she could forgive them completely – even if that was not their perfect scenery of a future together – and she wasn't sure if she could forgive them for what they had denied her. Distantly, she put a hand above her lean abdomen (my happiness, the one that was taken from me, ripped apart as I laid dying in his arms), that untold secret that could have changed the way Merlin had behaved … (perhaps he'd have talked to me, explained to me why he had to kill me. To think that until now I don't exactly know why is what hurts the most. Was it because I have magic and he thought I was the cause of all the evil that roam this land? Was it because he knew I was the source of the sleeping spell, even though at that moment I wasn't aware of it? No, I have to stop dwelling on it, being attached to the past, it is something that can never change, no matter what is done, it's a weakness that I cannot afford to have if I'm to bring magic back to this land.) Morgana shook her head as if attempting to clear her thoughts. She wasn't a weakling, she was a Priestess of the Old Religion, training to be a High Priestess like her sister, so self-pity wasn't an option and her actions couldn't be motivated by her emotions, that was what her sister have been trying to teach her for the last year and a half.

Standing in the middle of her chambers wasn't helping her came across a solution to her dilemma, so she went to the table and poured some wine to a goblet, taking a sip and then resting it atop of her vanity's surface. Then, she opened a drawer in which she kept some parchment, a quill and an ink bottle, and wrote two columns on a stray page: reasons to let A & G live versus reasons to be disposed of then using magic. That was it, she was going to be rational about it, follow her sister's advice, compare her options instead of deciding with the easiest way, which always involves the chance to use her magic.

Starting with the second column – because it was easier to just let her rage be filled again with the memory of their transgressions – she marked her first motive: (I) making me keep my pregnancy a secret from Merlin and continued which probably led him to murder our children without even knowing of their existence. While she wrote down that phrase in the paper, she began blinking tear filled eyes. Immediately, she dried her tears with the sleeves of her dress, returning to her task. (II) Uther's choice to throw away any life in order to have a male heir, even though I was already born, adding her third reason – (III) Uther never admitting my true parentage to not "threaten" Arthur's claim to the throne – continuing with the fourth – (IV) Arthur's status as legitimate heir and next in line of succession, ahead of me.

At the moment she was already suspecting that this was an idiotic move, filling a parchment with her true motives, but it was a something that Morgause had taught her, saying it could help her make a better decision if she tried to foresee the possible outcomes of her course of action, so instead of just tossing the paper in the hearth, she'd keep inscribing in the other column.

(Ok, I have to try to write without pausing, the first thing that comes to my head, she thought)

Then she began: (I) because we are or used (?) to be friends; (II) because it would turn an enormous amount of people against them, at least everybody that believed in duty above happiness, that wouldn't support him if he tried to snatch my crown once Uther is dead; (III) it could have the same effect of Arthur's physical death, because he would no longer have a lawful claim to the throne; (IV) I wouldn't use my magic, hence avoiding any additional prejudice from the common folk in that subject.

That was getting interesting, that last line made her think deeper. Magic was feared in Camelot in general not only for Uther's hate on it, but for all the events that happened as a consequence of the persecution, as magical folk used any means they had just to keep their lives, causing damage to a lot of unrelated people, strengthening their fear and belief that their liar of a king was protecting that against it. Remembering the use of magic, she added another reason: (V) the possibility that using a magical artifact backfires, probably because of Merlin.

In writing his name her hand trembled with anger. That nosy servant, always finding a way to foil her plans, always able to hurt her somehow even with her well-built walls around her heart.

She looked at the piece of parchment again. She had one more reason to simple let life move on its own course and not interfere. Arthur's choice would certainly shock many, especially Uther, and that probably would led him to crowning her as Princess in a blink of an eye. But at the same time, the king could simple lock his son in his chambers as he exiled Gwen from the kingdom or just killed her – well, that would certainly put son against father, possibly in an challenge to death – so however she regarded the probable outcomes, just waiting for the day of her maidservant's departure was better than any other.

That was it. She would only observe as everything happens right in front of her eyes, Gwen and Arthur had already helped her more than any magical item or Morgause's spells had in the matter of attaining her goal as sole heir to Camelot's throne, and later sole sovereign. She just had to be patient. (Oh, now eliminating evidence of my conspiracy) Morgana proceeded in throwing the piece of paper in the fireplace, burning her list, so that her true thoughts would be kept in a secure place – her own mind.