A/N: Um... Hi? Sorry I forgot to post this for so long and please don't hurt me? But look! Trolls! Be happy!

Bilbo had just finished his own dinner when Bofur handed him two more bowls. He had to hold back a sigh – here we go again, I suppose,he thought to himself. Outwardly he gave the friendly hatted dwarf a small smile.

"Be a star and give those to the lads, Bilbo?" he asked, before swatting at Bombur, who had been angling for another helping. No change there then. Bilbo took the bowls, and headed into the forest.

Bilbo hurried along to where the boys were supposed to be, and found them standing stock still, staring at where, probably not that long ago, there had been more ponies. He crept up between the two of them and handed a bowl to each, which they took automatically.

"What seems to be the problem?" He asked, startling to two of them so badly that they squawked like frightened eagles and Kili, he was certain, leapt about two feet into the air.

"Bilbo!" Fili hissed once they had recovered themselves, "you can't just sneak up on us like that!" Bilbo just rolled his eyes and looked between the two hopeless dwarflings.

"So, what have you two idiots done now?"

"I resent that tone," Kili pouted. "And what makes you think we always cause trouble?"

"You remind me of my Took cousins, who are nothing but trouble." He bit his lip, smiling. "And your uncle might have told me about the incident with the mountain goat." At that they both paled, as if Bilbo had been let into their deepest darkest secret, and then they both deflated.

"We've misplaced two ponies." Kili admitted. "Daisy and Bungo are missing."

"Well," Bilbo began, "shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"Nah, best not to worry him" Fili disagreed.

"We thought," Kili added with a grin, "that since you're our official burglar, and a damn good shot – I bet you'll be a natural with those knives too, and if not, Fili can teach you – anyway, you're a reliable fellow in a pinch-"

"Get to the point, lad." Bilbo scolded gently.

"Well, we thought you could investigate – look over here." Kili walked ahead to where trees had been uprooted, and Bilbo gulped.

"Well, that is not good – that is not good at all." Bilbo muttered as he followed along.

This was ridiculous. Fili and Kili were both idiots. How had they ever managed to convince him that this was a good idea? But instead of berating them for their utter lunacy, he found himself gritting his teeth, taking a deep breath and saying;

"It's my guess that something big uprooted these trees – something very big." Fili nodded in approval.

"That was our thinking." he agreed as he moved forward.

"Big, and possibly quite dangerous" Bilbo said aloud, even as he thought, that might just be the biggest understatement of the century, Bilbo Baggins, you fool of a half-Took. Fili turned away and narrowed his eyes, staring into the distance.

"Hey, there's a light," he whispered urgently. "Over here!" he said as he motioned for the others to follow him. They hurried to a fallen log, and Bilbo didn't have to be told twice when the blond dwarf prince instructed them to stay down. In the distance they could hear mumbling, and Bilbo felt his heart start hammering with fear. True, he had dealt with these exact trolls before and he knew how to distract them if he needed to, but that did not make them any less troll-like or terrifying.

"They're trolls" Kili stated, which was quite unnecessary, but Bilbo supposed that he really should never have seen a troll before, being a hobbit tucked away in the Shire all his life after all.

Then, without warning, the two brothers darted forward, leaving Bilbo to scurry quickly after them. This time he decided to just leave the bowls where the boys had set them. If the boys wanted to eat after this they could go pick mushrooms for all he cared. It would serve them right for asking a hobbit to burgle from trolls – and from a dragon, whilst he was at it.

They hid behind a tree as one of the trolls passed by with two more ponies – with Bilbo and Thorin's ponies.

"They've got Myrtle and Minty!" He exclaimed, which is very difficult to do when whispering. " They're going to eat them. We have to do something."

"Yes. You should!" Kili agreed, rather too excitedly for Bilbo's liking. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid and you're so small – they'll never see you-"

"no-" Bilbo tried to butt in.

"It's perfectly safe. We'll be right behind you." the brunet prince insisted. Bilbo levelled him with a disbelieving glare – one that seemed to have no effect at all. He was going to be thrown to the trolls yet again. How wonderful.

Fili was talking about hooting and trouble and barn owls and Bilbo realised that he really had to take control of this conversation before he ended up covered in troll snot and nearly having his arms ripped off.

"Wait! Look, you can't just throw me in there and hope for the best. We need a plan." he insisted, using his best stern uncle voice. It had always worked on Frodo, and it seemed to be working now too.

"What did you have in mind, Master Baggins?" Fili asked quietly. Bilbo took a deep breath and thought for a second.

"Kili – you are going to get Thorin. There is a chance things could go wrong and then we'll need everyone if we want to get out of this alive. Hurry now" With a single nod, the younger prince was off like a shot into the night.

"And me?" Fili asked.

"You are going to watch my back, and absolutely not do anything stupid in the event of my capture. At least not before Thorin arrives." Fili gaped at him, and then nodded when he saw that it wasn't something Bilbo was going to let go.

"Very well. But why ask me to stay behind instead of Kili?"

"If you know your brother then you already know the answer to that question." Bilbo retorted. "Now let's stop wasting time." he scolded, and drew his knives from where they were hidden in his cloaks.

"Twice like a brown owl and once like a barn owl, you said?" he asked with a grin before sneaking where the trolls were keeping the ponies. He was almost sure that he heard Fili whispering "May Mahal's hammer shield you" after him. Fili was a sweet lad, and deserved more than the death that awaited him if Bilbo could not change their fates.

As he edged closer to the trolls – close enough to smell them at least – he began to think about how he might free the ponies. True, he could cut them loose and they would bolt off, but there was no guarantee that the trolls wouldn't just go after them again. But he couldn't think of any other plan, so that would have to do – as for getting himself out of any trouble he might get in with the trolls, well, he had a little Deadly Nightshade in his back pocket that he'd picked up along the way. He would have to see if he could find a way to get it into their system without – and then he noticed the "cup" of whatever it was trolls thought passed for drink. Even if it only got rid of the one troll, the dwarves would have a far better chance of fighting off two than three. If he got a chance to poison the stew then he would, but there was no point in taking an unnecessary risk. If he knew Thorin, and he was almost sure that he did, then the dwarf would shout at him for even taking as much of a risk as he was.

So he carefully placed the belladonna in the cup and went over to the ponies. Just as he did so, one of the trolls took a swig.

"Ere, Bert, what's wrong?" One of the others said, but the other did not reply, merely groaned as the poison began to take effect. Now was Bilbo's chance, and he was going to take it. He pulled out one of his knives and started hacking at the ropes that secured the ponies in the pen. As soon as the first one cantered out of the gate, the others soon realised they could follow. He just hoped they made their way back to the others, and had not bolted out into the wilds.

The dying groans of a troll, Bilbo decided, were ugly, and unarguably loud – much like trolls in life, really. But it did mean that neither of the others could hear the sound of dwarven feet as Thorin and company charged them. Bilbo barely had the chance to admire how co-ordinated they all were as a unit before Kili threw him his bow and quiver, which he had left at the campsite. He felt decidedly honoured to be included in the action, and the strange fierceness that entered his heart made him forget his fear of these huge creatures for a moment. He notched an arrow, and aimed for the back of one's neck (he couldn't be bothered to remember the names of trolls at that moment). His arrow struck true, and the troll fell forward, nearly crushing Ori in the process, but Dwalin hauled him back out of harm's way. That left only one troll, and Balin gave Thorin a boost so that he could cut the throat of the beast. Bilbo found it strange to see Thorin without Orcrist in his hand or on his back, but that would soon be rectified. His own hand was calling out for Sting, and his heart was still singing with the battle, in a way he had never felt in the Battle of The Five Armies. He had felt so small in that battle, so utterly powerless to make a difference – but in this one was different, it made him feel like he could actually achieve something – but there were no more trolls to kill and he had to calm down.

"Did you see that shot Bilbo took?" Kili was asking his brother excitedly, "I've never seen anything like it! I knew he was good when he shot that boar, but a troll?" he exclaimed before turning to said hobbit and grinning. "Where on earth did you learn to shoot like that?"

"If you must know," Bilbo said, digging an arrow out of the trolls neck – that was going to be a pain to clean, "As a youngster I often played with my Took cousins, and when one of the oldest challenges you to shoot apples off of the girl's heads, you tend to practice rather vigilantly."

"Did you have the contest?" Fili asked. Bilbo snorted.

"The girls mothers found out about it and we all got a good scolding – and let me tell you, a scolding from a Tookish mother is nothing to sniff at. I should know. I had one myself." he told them.

"Master Baggins!" Thorin called from where he was standing over his own kill.

"Yes, Thorin?" Bilbo asked as he walked towards him.

"That was some fine archery, you would put even an elf to shame." Bilbo rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell the wizard, or he'll find an elf to test your theory." Thorin snorted, but clapped Bilbo on the back. Fili had left his brother to collect his own arrows.

"What did you do to that troll's drink, Bilbo? As soon as it took a sip, it was dying."

"Use your brain, lad – I poisoned it." Bilbo teased, but not unkindly. Fili blushed, embarrassed that he had asked such an obvious question, and Bilbo took pity on him. "It's odd though, that cave trolls would be so far from the mountains – isn't it?" he asked Thorin, but Thorin was not the one who answered.

"Indeed, Bilbo. They have not wandered this far for an Age – not since a darker power ruled these lands."

"Gandalf!" Bilbo exclaimed, before frowning, looking as disappointed as he possibly could. "You're a bit late." he said, indicating to the bodies of the trolls, which, now that the dawn was approaching, were slowly turning to stone.

"A wizard is never late, Master Baggins – nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

A/N: And of course, the writer echoes Gandalf's sentiments here. This chapter arrived precisely when I meant it to. Yeah, I don't believe me either. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and still love me enough to review.