Zina Mayk: Hello everyone, and welcome to It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk,
the official talkshow of the Enchanted Forest! Our topic today is "The
Secret Life of a Wizard", and we have as guests Zemenar (Head Wizard of the
Society of Wizards), his son, Antorell, and Telemain, our resident Magician
and Wizard Expert.
(Guests murmur hellos and thank-yous).
Zina: We'll begin our discussion right after these messages from our sponsors!
------------------------------------------------------
Female Voice: Have you been experiencing difficulties with wizards lately? If so, please place your call to Pest-b-Gone Central to receive a brochure on the newest, most effective ways for getting rid of wizards, moles, cockroaches, and undesirable princes. The booklet is free, and contains a coupon for Pest-b-Gone, the revolutionary supply store stocked exclusively with pest removers. Call today, for your free Pest-b-Gone brochure!
(Soft music in background)
Suave, Persuasive Male Voice: Hello, stranger. I am Merylis the Magnificent, and you shall soon fall under my spell. Hear my voice - nothing but my voice - listen to me as I speak to you, of waterfalls, of trees, of large ugly rocks. You will hear my voice and be enspelled. Listen, listen. You are growing weary - you hear nothing but my voice - soon you will be under my control. Listen, lis-
Curt Female Voice: Really, Meryl. I've told you to stop trying to hypnotize the radio audience.
(Soft music stops abruptly)
Female Voice Continues: As I was about to say before our little interruption.
(Peppy music blares)
.If you're having trouble finding Prince Charming, here is the place for you. Find-a-Prince is a FREE organization where you can come to find listings of all the local knights, princes, and eligible woodcutter's sons for miles around! There's also an index of dragons, ogres, and giants who are affiliated with Find-a-Prince, who would be happy to carry off any maidens in need of a little help. So have your Magic Mirror take you to Find-a-Prince and meet your match today!
------------------------------------------------------
Zina: Aaaand we're back to It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk. First we'll hear from Zemenar, Head Wizard of the Society of Wizards, who will tell us a little bit about the purposes and tasks of the Society. Zemenar?
Zemenar (pompously): Our first purpose is, of course, to unite the wizards living in and around the Enchanted Forest region. Take note however it is not a social society. It is strictly business-related. We meet once a week to discuss things of importance pertaining to the world of wizards, such as spells, interference, new sources of magic, etc. Sometimes members of the Society will take on apprentices and we will train them in the mysterious arts. We also deal frequently with the problems caused by dragons. Though we do nothing to provoke them, the meddlesome creatures seem to find it their business to -
Zina: Yes, yes, we understand. Thank you very much. Now, one of the most intruiging facts pertaining to your people are the fact that you collect magic from your surroundings. How is this done?
Zemenar: It is a complex spell, Miss Mayk. It would most likely confuse the audience.
Antorell: Actually, Father, it's quite simple - just a magic-absorbtion spell invoked in the staff -
Zemenar (frostily): Really, Antorell, can you not hold your tongue?
Telemain: Ah, is that how you do it. I was thinking something more complex, such as a reversed defence spell that ingests the magical particles near it -
Zina: A what?
Telemain: A - ah - defence spell, meant to ward magic particles off, reversed. That - ah - absorbs the magic in the air around it.
Zina: Thank you. Now, one more question and then we will accept some calls. Over the past few years, it has been proven that wizards have a - er - dislike for soapy water.
Telemain: With lemon juice, Miss Mayk.
Zina: Ah yes, with lemon juice. As I was saying, soapy lemon-juice-water has an extremely adverse affect on your kind. Do you know why? Zemenar?
Zemenar (frostily): It is not a topic I enjoy discussing.
Telemain: Miss Mayk, I believe it is because of the -
Zemenar: It is also not a topic I enjoy others discussing.
Zina (hastily): Then let's take a commercial break. Stay tuned!
------------------------------------------------------
Herman the Dwarf: Are you looking for training for that soon-to-be-hero of yours? Does your maiden need Damsel In Distress tutoring? Look no further. Herman's Elite Academy For the Training of Important Juveniles is accepting pupils! You can send your application to Herman the Dwarf, Magician's House, Middle of Nowhere, Mountains of Morning. If you would like to apply for a scholarship, please send a chart showing your monthly income as well as the heroic history of your family line.
------------------------------------------------------
Zina: We're back again! Welcome back to It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk! Our next topic of discussion is dragons. Antorell, any thoughts?
Antorell: They're pests. And they keep stupid princesses.
Zina: Right.Zemenar?
Zemenar: They interfere greatly with the workings of the Society, hamper the gain of new magic, and.ah.have a particular taste for wizard. They are very hasty, as well, more liable to destroy a wizard on sight than hear his reasonable explanation for why he is there. And to top it all off, the dragons have this past year canceled our access to the Caves of Fire and Night, which caves are crucial to our research -
Zina: I see, thank you. Telemain, do you have anything to say on the subject? Then we'll take some calls.
Telemain: Dragons are highly intelligent creatures. They generate their own magical substance, and so are indisposed to let wizards linger near them because of the rather unpleasant side effects that result when the wizard's staff comes too near, and the essence of the dragon's magic is sucked away. That is the reason for the banishment from the Caves, you see. And -
Zina: I'm sorry, Telemain, but we're out of time. Your discourse on dragons sounds fascinating, however. Perhaps another time we can chat. Right now, we have just enough time to take some calls. First we have Morwen, you're on the air.
Morwen: Telemain, did you remember the eggs?
Telemain: What eggs?
Morwen: The eggs you were supposed to pick up.
Telemain: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Morwen: Eggs.
Telemain: What eggs?
Morwen: The eggs I told you to pick up on the way there -
Zina: Thanks for calling It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk, we are out of time for that call! Queen Cimorene, you're on the air.
Mendenbar: Me, too.
Zina: Oh, I see.
Gargoyle: Me, too!
Cimorene: (apologetically) We're on the mirror in the study, the other one was down.
Zina: I get it. And your purpose for calling is?
Cimorene: I'd like to ask Zemenar a question.
Zemenar: I do not associate with nemeses.
Cimorene: Neither do I, but I still want to ask you something - do you realize the entire Council of Dragons is listening in on this show? Do you have any idea how mad they're getting?
Kazul: Yes, she's right! We're all here!
Mendenbar: What she means, is, if you ever set foot in the Mountains of Morning.you're a wanted criminal.
Zemenar: @#$%^!
Zina: That's all the time we have for today. Please join us on the next episode of It's Just Magic!
(Guests murmur hellos and thank-yous).
Zina: We'll begin our discussion right after these messages from our sponsors!
------------------------------------------------------
Female Voice: Have you been experiencing difficulties with wizards lately? If so, please place your call to Pest-b-Gone Central to receive a brochure on the newest, most effective ways for getting rid of wizards, moles, cockroaches, and undesirable princes. The booklet is free, and contains a coupon for Pest-b-Gone, the revolutionary supply store stocked exclusively with pest removers. Call today, for your free Pest-b-Gone brochure!
(Soft music in background)
Suave, Persuasive Male Voice: Hello, stranger. I am Merylis the Magnificent, and you shall soon fall under my spell. Hear my voice - nothing but my voice - listen to me as I speak to you, of waterfalls, of trees, of large ugly rocks. You will hear my voice and be enspelled. Listen, listen. You are growing weary - you hear nothing but my voice - soon you will be under my control. Listen, lis-
Curt Female Voice: Really, Meryl. I've told you to stop trying to hypnotize the radio audience.
(Soft music stops abruptly)
Female Voice Continues: As I was about to say before our little interruption.
(Peppy music blares)
.If you're having trouble finding Prince Charming, here is the place for you. Find-a-Prince is a FREE organization where you can come to find listings of all the local knights, princes, and eligible woodcutter's sons for miles around! There's also an index of dragons, ogres, and giants who are affiliated with Find-a-Prince, who would be happy to carry off any maidens in need of a little help. So have your Magic Mirror take you to Find-a-Prince and meet your match today!
------------------------------------------------------
Zina: Aaaand we're back to It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk. First we'll hear from Zemenar, Head Wizard of the Society of Wizards, who will tell us a little bit about the purposes and tasks of the Society. Zemenar?
Zemenar (pompously): Our first purpose is, of course, to unite the wizards living in and around the Enchanted Forest region. Take note however it is not a social society. It is strictly business-related. We meet once a week to discuss things of importance pertaining to the world of wizards, such as spells, interference, new sources of magic, etc. Sometimes members of the Society will take on apprentices and we will train them in the mysterious arts. We also deal frequently with the problems caused by dragons. Though we do nothing to provoke them, the meddlesome creatures seem to find it their business to -
Zina: Yes, yes, we understand. Thank you very much. Now, one of the most intruiging facts pertaining to your people are the fact that you collect magic from your surroundings. How is this done?
Zemenar: It is a complex spell, Miss Mayk. It would most likely confuse the audience.
Antorell: Actually, Father, it's quite simple - just a magic-absorbtion spell invoked in the staff -
Zemenar (frostily): Really, Antorell, can you not hold your tongue?
Telemain: Ah, is that how you do it. I was thinking something more complex, such as a reversed defence spell that ingests the magical particles near it -
Zina: A what?
Telemain: A - ah - defence spell, meant to ward magic particles off, reversed. That - ah - absorbs the magic in the air around it.
Zina: Thank you. Now, one more question and then we will accept some calls. Over the past few years, it has been proven that wizards have a - er - dislike for soapy water.
Telemain: With lemon juice, Miss Mayk.
Zina: Ah yes, with lemon juice. As I was saying, soapy lemon-juice-water has an extremely adverse affect on your kind. Do you know why? Zemenar?
Zemenar (frostily): It is not a topic I enjoy discussing.
Telemain: Miss Mayk, I believe it is because of the -
Zemenar: It is also not a topic I enjoy others discussing.
Zina (hastily): Then let's take a commercial break. Stay tuned!
------------------------------------------------------
Herman the Dwarf: Are you looking for training for that soon-to-be-hero of yours? Does your maiden need Damsel In Distress tutoring? Look no further. Herman's Elite Academy For the Training of Important Juveniles is accepting pupils! You can send your application to Herman the Dwarf, Magician's House, Middle of Nowhere, Mountains of Morning. If you would like to apply for a scholarship, please send a chart showing your monthly income as well as the heroic history of your family line.
------------------------------------------------------
Zina: We're back again! Welcome back to It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk! Our next topic of discussion is dragons. Antorell, any thoughts?
Antorell: They're pests. And they keep stupid princesses.
Zina: Right.Zemenar?
Zemenar: They interfere greatly with the workings of the Society, hamper the gain of new magic, and.ah.have a particular taste for wizard. They are very hasty, as well, more liable to destroy a wizard on sight than hear his reasonable explanation for why he is there. And to top it all off, the dragons have this past year canceled our access to the Caves of Fire and Night, which caves are crucial to our research -
Zina: I see, thank you. Telemain, do you have anything to say on the subject? Then we'll take some calls.
Telemain: Dragons are highly intelligent creatures. They generate their own magical substance, and so are indisposed to let wizards linger near them because of the rather unpleasant side effects that result when the wizard's staff comes too near, and the essence of the dragon's magic is sucked away. That is the reason for the banishment from the Caves, you see. And -
Zina: I'm sorry, Telemain, but we're out of time. Your discourse on dragons sounds fascinating, however. Perhaps another time we can chat. Right now, we have just enough time to take some calls. First we have Morwen, you're on the air.
Morwen: Telemain, did you remember the eggs?
Telemain: What eggs?
Morwen: The eggs you were supposed to pick up.
Telemain: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Morwen: Eggs.
Telemain: What eggs?
Morwen: The eggs I told you to pick up on the way there -
Zina: Thanks for calling It's Just Magic with Zina Mayk, we are out of time for that call! Queen Cimorene, you're on the air.
Mendenbar: Me, too.
Zina: Oh, I see.
Gargoyle: Me, too!
Cimorene: (apologetically) We're on the mirror in the study, the other one was down.
Zina: I get it. And your purpose for calling is?
Cimorene: I'd like to ask Zemenar a question.
Zemenar: I do not associate with nemeses.
Cimorene: Neither do I, but I still want to ask you something - do you realize the entire Council of Dragons is listening in on this show? Do you have any idea how mad they're getting?
Kazul: Yes, she's right! We're all here!
Mendenbar: What she means, is, if you ever set foot in the Mountains of Morning.you're a wanted criminal.
Zemenar: @#$%^!
Zina: That's all the time we have for today. Please join us on the next episode of It's Just Magic!