Once again, a bit out of the norm for this story, but a random little one-shot with our favorite pals that I wanted to share. I hope you enjoy, random Halloween details and all. Please Review!

Also, I know my chapters are normally longer, but I find that the shorter ones are easier (and faster) to write and post more frequently.

Again, please please please review and I am open to any prompts/suggestions you want to see of our favorite Dauntless duo!

Disclaimer: Don't own Divergent, don't really own anything, to be honest.

"DAD-DY!"

"Ooff," Tobias lets out a grunt as his youngest child slams into his legs, propelling him backwards and into the wall.

"Dammit Zeke, when they say trick or treat, you give them a treat, not a damn heart attack!"

Zeke is caught up in a chuckle before Shauna's hand swipes the mask off of her husband's face, adding a sharp whack to his arm when he turns to her and frowns.

"See Anya? It's just Uncle Zeke," Tobias says softly to his two-year-old daughter, crouching down and smoothing back her hair.

"Sth'not Unca Zeke," the small child sniffles, hugging Tobias's leg like a lifeline, her snotty nose buried into her father's knee. "It'sth ugly monsther."

"He is ugly."

Tobias's response earns him his own honorary whack from Shauna, and it's only when Tris comes up behind the father-daughter duo with a four-year-old astronaut in tow and a handful of Halloween crafts and decorations that they finally manage to make it through the front door and into Shauna's apartment.

"For the record, I am not ugly."

"For the record, I do not give a shit."

"Sthwear jar, daddy."

Tobias's lips tighten into an amused frown as he turns in the direction of the two small voices. He raises an eyebrow at his kids' expectant smiles, slowly pulling out his wallet, and fishes out a dollar before snapping the leather casing shut.

"Nuh-uh, Daddy, we both said it. That means times two."

"Baby, that's not how it works."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-huh."

"Nuh-huh."

"Uh-huh – dammit," Tobias snaps his mouth shut, tilting his head sideways at his grinning son. While it's hard enough to win an argument now over which Frozen character is the best (Tobias insists it's Pabbie, Theo knows it's Oaken, Anya swears by light itself that it's Sven; Tris thinks they're all insane because it's Olaf you guys, are you blind?), he can't even begin to imagine what he'll be like as a teenager. He shudders at the thought.

"Ooh, Daddy, you sthaid anotha bad word," Anya taunts in her adorable lisp, eyes bright and smile wide.

"Now it's times 4."

"Theo, baby, you skipped a number," Tris starts.

Tobias's "That's not a swear word," cuts her off.

"Tobias, yes, it is." She replies sweetly to her husband, pinching his leg and raising her eyebrows.

"No its no-,"

"Dammit. Dam-mit. Dammmmit."

"Damn damn damn damn damn - ,"

"Okay! Mommy's right – bad word, it's a bad word."

"Nuh-uh, no taksies backsies."

"Theo, that is still not how that works."

"Who says so?"

"I say so."

"Doesn't matter."

"Theo, I'm your father."

"And I'm your son and Anya's your daughter and Mommy's your wife and Aunty Shauna's Uncle Zeke's wife and Uncle Zeke likes eating Chinese food."

"What?"

Tobias stares incredulously at his baby boy, biting the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling as he watches him nod his head in solemn affirmation at his stated points.

"I thought we were saying things we know."

"Wow Tobias, he really is your kid."

"We know that Uncle Zeke, I just said that."

"What are they even arguing about?" Shauna asks, gliding back into the room and adjusting the hybrid tiara pirate hat on Anya's head before plopping down on the couch.

"Whether or not d-a-m-m-i-t is a swear word or not," Tris says from her spot next to Tobias, her words garbled by the licorice she stuffs in her mouth.

"Oh yeah," Shauna nods along, matter-of-factly. "That is a very bad swear word. One of the worst."

All the adults nod in unison, eyes trained specifically on Theo. He frowns at them all, his gaze nearly rivaling the glare Tobias normally uses when training initiates, and for a second Tobias's almost convinced that his son is right and he's wrong.

Almost.

Theo huffs defeat before climbing into Tobias's lap and stares at his mother with his mouth open. Tris sticks a piece of licorice between his teeth and Tobias grins sweetly at his son, laughing when he heaves out a dramatic sigh before ripping the candy in half and shoving it into his face.

"This daddy is just unbelievable," Theo whispers loudly to the room, hand hiding his mouth from Tobias's line of view and widening his eyes in emphasis of his statement.

Tobias can't help the bark of laughter that he lets out – Theo had taken to referring to his as "this Daddy" and "that Daddy of mine" and, while his little eye rolls and frowns of annoyance are serious to him, they are the parts of Tobias's day that make his heart swell to three times its size.

Because where Anya is Tris's mumbling babbles and two left feet and wide-eyed amazement, Theo is all Tobias – right down to his very core.

He squeezes his son tightly in his arms, ruffling his astronaut helmet and tickling his sides as he smooshes kisses all over his face.

He's squealing in laughter, and Tobias's face is pure light as he motions for his baby girl to join the squirming pile of tickling torment.

Anya is racing across the room as fast as her toddling legs can carry her, and she's almost there – she's right there - before the hem of her oversized pirate princess costume catches on the dining table and she falls forward into the carpet.

"Fuck."

"Anya, NO."

Hola friends, PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE IT SO, SO, SO MUCH WHEN YOU DO! Also, I have an account on Archive of Our Own that basically posts the same stories as I do here, but I have an Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak version of this story posted under the Oliver and Felicity version of "I Love You Most When" story. Please check it out my dudes! LOVE YOU ALL!