Disclaimer: If I were JK Rowling, Fred Weasley would not be dead. Neither would Lupin or Sirius or Tonks.
Remus Lupin was very much uncomfortable. And he had Nymphadora Tonks to thank for that.
She entered the room in Muggle clothing, and unlike most, she had a peculiar knack for doing it right. Not only to say that she did not look strange, but Remus Lupin was struck by how beautifully she pulled it off. As she sat to join the dinner, she pulled her brown hair out of its ponytail, and her pink hair tumbled over her shoulders.
"Wotcher, Lupin."
He was in a daze. All the blood in his body was rushing very much away from his brain as he opened his mouth to reply.
"Nice to see you Dora. And it's Remus."
She smiled at him as conversation erupted at the other end of the table. Though she joined, neither Remus, nor his good friend contributed. As Sirius ate, he kept watching his friend in his awkward and blushing state, focusing mainly on not laughing.
Remus was trying not to think of anything but his food. Though he was in no danger of the full moon, he felt rather like a wolf as he ravaged his meal.
He let out a sigh of relief as he finished. Standing up rather aprubtly, he excused himself, and stepped out the back door for some air.
After only a gasp of the non-suffocating night air, he heard a click, followed by the tell-tale bark of Sirius' laugh.
"Spectacular! Two thumbs up! Best dining entertainment I've had in my life! Precisely what I've needed."
"It's not funny Padfoot."
Sirius was beet red and looked as if he were to combust. "Not at all Moony. It was not remotely comedic that- how do I put this delicately- your erm," He raised his hand to make quotations, "wand should make such trouble in front of the Order."
"You are still a teenager."
Sirius threw his arm over Remus' shoulder. "A nasty case of arrested development I'm afraid. But you're one to talk Moony. Your," the air quotes made a reappearance, "wand seems to think you're back in your prime."
Remus pulled away and punched his friend in the shoulder.
"She is your cousin!"
Sirius chortled. "I'm not looking to sleep with her."
"Who said-"
"Shhhhh. No one said that. But remember Moony, the wand chooses the witch."
"Be serious."
"I am." Sirius grinned from ear to ear and his eyes twinkled with tears of laughter.
"Merlin's pants, Sirius! You are such an idiot!" Lupin shoved his friend as he began to smile. He laughed for a moment but then it faded into a sigh. "What do I do? It's not just being attracted to her, it's more than that, but I couldn't possibly be what she's looking for."
"A smart, kind, loyal man with the instincts of an animal?" Sirius smiled but was this time reserved.
"Stop. I mean an old, poor man, with a rather large furry problem."
Sirius stepped closer and put his hand on his friend's shoulder as they looked up at the stars. "Careful Remus, I'm older than you." He sighed. "There's nothing you can do to make her love you, but I know Tonks. If she falls in love with the man I described, nothing will stop her, and certainly not the man you described."
Remus turned and his voice fell. "I don't want her to love me."
"Moony-"
"I'm serious. I'm a nuisance, not to be loved."
Sirius thumped his friend on the back of the head. "Are you kidding me? Don't ever tell the man who spent three damn years becoming an Animagus for your sorry ass that you are unworthy of love. The only person that matters that has ever not loved Remus Lupin is Remus Lupin. Stop this bullshit. You deserve happiness, you moron."
He returned this speech with a sigh.