South Park © Matt & Trey.

For once I'm not writing in first person. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Also, I'm going to have the same teachers for this just because I don't like using OCs in fanfic. I've also never written Kenny like this before. I wanted to try something a bit different with his personality.

Full summary: Cartman is a sadist, Stan has a stiffy for his bestie, Kyle is oblivious and Kenny wants them all to himself. The boys are at it again. When Stan's gang and Craig's gang are caught fighting, much to the dismay of the entire high school, the principal decides group therapy is the best punishment. Soon, secrets are revealed. When Cartman sends Tweek on a mission to soften the stoic Craig Tucker, everyone is surprised when it actually starts to work. Unfortunately, Craig finds out it was all a game and everything goes to hell for Stan and the boys. Like everyone didn't already have enough on their plate!

Warnings: drugs, violence, guns, prostitution, self-harm

The sun is up and the snow is piled high. Nothing new in South Park. It's Monday – ordinary Monday – the most boring day of the week.

Craig Tucker is on his way to pick Clyde, and then it's time for school. "What are we doing after class today?" Clyde asks once he hops into Craig's beat up, old truck. He starts playing with the glob of chewing gum in his mouth and sucking on his fingers – a nervous habit he hasn't yet broken.

Craig shrugs, pulling out of the Donovan driveway. "Whatever." School, like most things in South Park, is a cycle. Today will likely end the same way as every other day.

"Bebe hates it when I fight," Clyde murmurs, frowning. "I'm still sore from last time. Kyle Broflovski is a beast and he punches really hard."

"Don't be a pussy," Craig retorts. "Besides, Bebe isn't even your fucking girlfriend, so don't let her whip you."

"She's my friend, though," Clyde reiterates before murmuring, "Plus… I want her to be my girlfriend."

"I know," Craig snorts. "Everyone fucking knows. You're intentions are so obvious."

"I like her, Craig," Clyde explains. "Maybe, someday, you'll find out what it's like to have feelings for someone. Maybe then you'll stop being so damn selfish."

"Like I care," the black haired teenager scoffs. It's true, Craig doesn't find interest in most things, but he does enjoys upping Stan Marsh and his friends – Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and that white trash ho, Kenny McCormick. He hates them all. He hates how much trouble they've gotten him into over the years, and that string of hatred has never been cut. He hates them and showing them up makes him so happy. Craig has always been a fan of chaos.

"Someday, you will," Clyde mutters. "Relax and allow something good to happen, Craig."

Craig rolls his eyes. "Bebe is fucking that McCormick kid, anyhow. She sticks plastic dicks up his ass."

"Seriously…?" Clyde asks, frowning.

Craig nods. "That's what Red says, anyway."

"Fuck Red," Clyde bites.

"Watch it," Craig warns, a light attempt to stick up for a friend.

"Really, though," Clyde mutters. "She's always making shit up and spreading it around the school. She's the one that told everyone I had a small dick."

"Well, it's not that big," Craig says.

"Neither is yours," Clyde retorts.

"You wouldn't know," Craig states. "You've never seen it. Per your request, I've seen yours on countless occasions."

The jock rolls his eyes. "You're such a bitch sometimes. You know that?"

"Yeah, yeah," Craig says dismissively.

The rest of the ride is silent. They drive down the street and it doesn't take long for them to arrive at the high school. South Park is a small town. Craig parks the car and the two of them walk into first period. Craig sneers at Stan, who returns the glare with one of his own. He's seated with Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, who all look oblivious as they chat amongst one another.

Craig holds up his middle finger as he and Clyde join Token and Jason. A minute later, Mr. Garrison walks in and tells everyone to shut up.

"Nng!" Tweek lets out a shriek, practically convulsing in his chair. Mr. Garrison ignores it. Everyone is used to it by now, but Craig still finds it annoying as hell.

Kenny shoves his things into his locker before entering the cafeteria for lunch break. "Sup, twink?" Cartman asks once he spots his blond friend.

"Nothin'," Kenny shrugs, taking a seat at the table to join his usual crew. "And I'm not a twink."

"Where's your fag hag today?" the chubby teenager asks.

Kenny wrinkles his little nose. "Doesn't that make you a fag stag, then?"

Cartman grimaces. "No, because none of us enjoy spending time with you."

"Liar," Kenny calls him out.

"Stop fighting," Stan cuts in warily. "We all like you, Kenny. Ignore Cartman. He likes you, too. He's just being a dick. Pay little mind."

"I always do," Kenny says.

"Come on," Cartman scoffs. "We all know Bebe wants to fuck your butt, fem-boy."

"She already has," Kenny reveals, smirking as Cartman grimaces dramatically. "Multiple times."

"Do you have food today?" Kyle asks, promptly changing the subject.

"No," Kenny admits, knowing it would do no use to lie since he has nothing to back it up with.

"Want me to buy you something?" the redhead offers, giving Kenny a sympathetic look.

"No," he rolls his eyes. "I'm not hungry, so it's fine."

"Got a belly full of jizz, huh?" Cartman cackles. "How filling."

"Yes, that's exactly it," Kenny states tartly, pulling out his phone to check the time. "I've actually got something to do," he announces.

"What?" Kyle asks, raising an eyebrow as Kenny stands. "It's the middle of school. What could you possibly have to do?"

"Don't worry," the blond says, winking. "I'll be back before class starts."

Kyle clicks his tongue as they watch Kenny wander away. "What do you think he's doing?"

"You mean who? Dirty old men," Stan answers bluntly and Kyle shrugs. Though, were he to be honest with himself, he'd admit that Stan is likely right. Kenny's track record is pretty scandalous, especially for a sixteen year old. It's not something to laugh about.

"But unlike the rest of the kids around here, he fucks for free," Cartman adds.

Butters shakes his head. "I don't get it! Doesn't Kenny realize he could be making some serious motherfuckin' money?"

"Shut up, Butters."

Kenny McCormick doesn't have sex. No, what he does is much different than the simple act of flesh on flesh. Kenny McCormick doesn't make love. No, what he does holds no pure, sincere emotions. Kenny McCormick fucks. That's what he does. He fucks when he's bored. He fucks when someone asks him for a piece. Kenny McCormick fucks to feel because he's dead on the inside. Turns out, that's what repeatedly being killed does to a person. Just his luck.

The situation is familiar. Men often drive past the high school to pick up a teenager for a half an hour. Teenagers in this crummy town don't usually pass up the chance to make a few easy bucks. Kenny isn't the only kid who gets into cars with strangers, but he's the only one who does it for free. Red did it when she wanted concert tickets. Tweek will do it for drugs if he's in the mood. Craig does it for alcohol, but he has a no penetration rule and he doesn't want anyone around his sacred area – as if that makes him any better. Thirty bucks a blow from Craig Tucker, the kid with weird teeth and tired eyes. But Kenny knows for a fact he's done it for as low as ten. Knowing that makes Kenny smirk and shake his head. The other guys don't know about this side of Craig, but he'll keep it a secret because, in all honesty, it's more fun this way. Kenny knows secrets about many kinds of different people, but he keeps them all to himself. It makes him feel superior – like a god.

The willing teenagers loiter so the tricks know who they are. A window will roll down and a man will beckon to his choice.

It's what Kenny does best. He's attractive and seductive with a passion for big dicks and a kink for pain.

It goes like this: an expensive car pulls up. Kenny will get in. It will smell like expensive cologne. Kenny will close his eyes and inhale. He used to enjoy the smell, but now he's used to it and it isn't so special. Kenny will smile at the driver and they'll go somewhere to park. Whether it's a blowjob, a rub and tug, a fuck, or all three… he knows what to do and he's good at it. Sometimes these men come so hard, they are back for seconds, thirds, fourths…

Today is no different. Kenny walks to the end of the school parking lot and sits on a bench near a rank smelling dumpster with a few other kids. He spots Tammy Warner and holds up his hand.

"Hey, Ken," she greets, sucking on a cigarette. She offers it to him and he takes a puff before handing it back. "Business, as usual?" she asks.

"Yeah," he nods. "You?"

"Yeah," she says with a sigh. But Tammy Warner has standards. She won't get in the car of any ordinary man, unlike Kenny, who never says no. "I envy your ability to not care about anything."

"Existential nihilism," is all he says. He won't bother telling her about the dying.

"Fancy term for a guy like you," she laughs.

Kenny chuckles wearily.

Eventually, yet another shiny car pulls up and the window rolls down. Inside is your typical business man who is probably on break from his 9-5 job, looking to relief a little stress. "Hey, blondie," he calls.

Kenny hops off the bench, bidding Tammy a, "See yah later."

The car smells just like every other. Kenny smiles at the driver and they leave the school, parking in the poor part of town. The cops avoid it here, so it's safe for illegal activity.

This guy is pretty vanilla compared to other men Kenny has been with. A quick blowie and that's it. His sperm feels thick on Kenny's tongue, but he doesn't mind the taste. It's hot and when he swallows, he feels it settle in the pit of his stomach. Afterward, the man hands Kenny a twenty, but Kenny denies it. "I'm not a prostitute," he says.

"C'mon, take it," the man urges. "You're a nice kid."

Kenny shakes his head. "I don't do it for the money. I don't want the money. Keep it."

The man finally relents, putting his wallet away and driving back to the high school. Kenny likes it best when it's like this – no funny business. It's hardly neat when people take advantage of the fact that he is so expendable. Then again, it can be exciting. It depends on his mood.

"Why do it if not for the money?" the man asks once they're back at the high school.

"It makes me feel good," Kenny tells him. He smiles one last time, laughing as he gets out of the car. No more than a minute later, he hears the bell ring and he strolls to class.

Once school is out, Kenny goes home with Kyle. Kenny recites nursery rhymes on the walk to the Broflovski house. He's always been a fan of them. "Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow," Kenny sing-songs, "and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go."

"Why do you like children's rhymes so much?" Kyle asks. They can get annoying, but either way, he'd much prefer silly children's songs to the dark stories Cartman tends to come up with.

Kenny shrugs. Instead of answering, he says, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put Humpty together again."

"Y'know," Kyle starts, "they never said he was an egg."

Kenny pauses for a moment, making an 'o' with his mouth. "Dark thought." he grimaces. "Why is he always shown as one, then?"

"Probably because they're fragile," Kyle shrugs. "If an egg breaks, then that's that."

"I think it'd still be worse if it was a person," Kenny says. "Then there'd be all that blood…"

"Yeah," the redhead laughs. "I guess this way it's more child friendly. Anyway, just go on thinking it's an egg."

Soon they turn into Kyle's driveway. "So, why are you hanging out with me so much lately?" the blond asks once they're inside.

Kyle shrugs. "I miss you, dude."

"Oh, I'm touched," Kenny simpers, putting a hand to his heart.

"Yeah, yeah," the redhead says dismissively. "So, how'd your lunch meeting go? Or… whatever it was."

"Good," Kenny says vaguely. They walk upstairs, into Kyle's room and settle on his bed.

"What did you do?" he pries, feeling curious.

"Gave a businessman a blowjob," Kenny reveals carelessly, examining his cuticles.

"Oh, I see," Kyle says. Stan was right after all. "You do know that you're only sixteen, and therefore, it's not legal to be screwing around with men."

"Blah, blah, blah," Kenny says dismissively. "Tell me something interesting for a change."

"Tsk," Kyle clicks his tongue. "Ass."

"What? Don't you have any fun stories to tell, Kyle?" Kenny asks. "Or are you boring?"

"I'm not boring," Kyle says. "I just don't have any stories that would be of interest to you. I already know that."

Kenny smirks. "How about I tell you a story instead, then?" he offers.

"Do I really want to hear your stories?" Kyle asks with a sigh. He's used to Kenny's stories of sexual indiscretions. He isn't all that fond of them. Kyle is incredibly modest in nature and isn't the type of person to talk freely about his own sexual expression.

Nonetheless, the blond smirks mischievously. "I was once with a guy who made me sit down and pray with him before we did anything," he starts, shaking his head at the memory. "Fuckin' weird… and pointless. So we prayed, we fucked, and then we prayed some more because what we were doing was wrong. I left after that, but he gave me rosary beads and said he knew I was a sinner. I think he wanted God's forgiveness. He wanted me to beg for it, too. I went along with it, because I don't mind humouring those kinds of intentions even if I don't know where I stand in terms of religion. I felt bad for this guy, though. He was trying hard to repress himself."

"Do you like it?" Kyle asks. "Sleeping with strangers?"

"Yeah," Kenny says.

Kyle shrugs his shoulders, "All right, then… I guess there's nothing wrong with that."

"Thanks, Kyle," Kenny says. "This is why you're my favorite. You don't judge, even when you don't understand and when you don't agree. Stan is too full of guilt and Eric doesn't know when to stop talking. You're the nicest."

Kyle smiles slightly. "It's no problem, Kenny."

"Want a blowjob?" the blond offers out of the blue.

"What?" Kyle raises an eyebrow.

"I asked if you wanted me to suck your dick," he says condescendingly.

"What?" Kyle asks again, mouth agape. "Why?"

Kenny rolls his eyes. "Maybe I just want to taste you," he says airily. He's been trying to get into Kyle's pants ever since the redhead became single, but he never succeeds. Each time it happens, Kyle looks just as taken aback as the last time and it makes Kenny want to laugh at how proper the tall teenager is. He blames Sheila.

"Erm," Kyle pauses, grabbing his laptop. "Let's watch a movie instead… I've got a few ones you might like."

"Oh, yeah?" Kenny asks, shifting closer to the redhead. He likes comedies. He hates tragedies. Being able to laugh is a hell of a lot more pleasant than crying. Even he understands that.

"Mhm…" Kyle murmurs, opening his laptop and showing the blond boy his latest torrents.

"Let's see," Kenny muses as he looks over the list. "Let's watch The Proposal. I still haven't seen it."

Kyle nods, opening the file and turning up the volume. "Here we go," he says, pressing play and settling the laptop on the mattress in front of them.

In silence, they watch the movie until Kenny decides to speak again. "Kyle, are you a virgin?" he wonders, leaning back against a pillow.

"No," Kyle says. "Why?"

"Then why didn't you want me to… y'know," he says vaguely, but Kyle understands. "Because you're straight?"

"No, because you're my friend, dude," Kyle explains.

"So, who is on your fuck-list, then?" Kenny asks.

"Just Rebecca Cotswolds," he says with a sigh.

"Right… then she cheated," Kenny adds, finishing the story.

Kyle nods, frowning. "Yeah, quite a few times." It happened last year. After two years of happy dating, Rebecca's scandalous amount of infidelities were discovered by Bebe. Since Bebe has a soft spot for Kyle, she felt like it would be the right thing to tell him what his girlfriend was getting up to. Naturally, Kyle didn't want to believe it… but, why would Bebe lie? Either way, Rebecca admitted to it once Kyle confronted her. The redhead was distraught for the following month, but he recovered.

"Whatever," Kenny shrugs. "She's dumb."

Kyle chuckles. "Easy for you to say that, but I was the one dating her. I thought I loved her."

"Boo fucking hoo," the blond snorts. "Love is overrated. I'd rather just fuck."

"Dude…" Kyle shakes his head.

Kenny smiles lazily. "Rebecca will learn someday," he promises. "She doesn't know what she's missin'. We've all heard rumors about that big, ol' cock of yours."

Kyle rolls his eyes at that comment. It was revealed by none other than Rebecca. Their breakup was dramatic. She insisted she only stayed with him because of his king-sized dong.

"So?" Kenny wiggles his eyebrows. "How big is it, Kyle?" he reaches towards the redhead's waistband, only to have his hands slapped away.

"Hands off, dude," Kyle says. "I'm not gay."

This time, Kenny is the one to roll his eyes. "Oh, please. Gay, straight… it's all the same shit to me. You don't have to be gay to screw around with a guy. I've fucked plenty of so-called straight boys."

Kyle is not swayed. "Well, I'm not like that."

"Like what?" Kenny asks. "Like me?"

Kyle lets out an irritated groan. "I just don't like sleeping around, okay?"

Kenny wrinkles his nose. "Boring. Boring!"

"Why do you really want to suck my dick, anyway?" the redhead asks, eyes narrowing at the blond.

"I told you already," Kenny says. "I'm curious. I've seen Stan's dick and I've seen Eric's dick… but I haven't seen yours."

Kyle cringes at that, but doesn't say anything more on the subject. The movie is almost over and soon the credits play, but still, he remains silent.

Kenny reaches forward and shuts the laptop. "Let's do it, Kyle. Show me your cock."

"Nah, that's gay," Kyle says again.

"We're sixteen," Kenny deadpans. "We're allowed to experiment. Christ, Kyle, haven't you ever gotten curious?" Unlike many, he skipped the coming out of the closet spiel. Kenny was never in the closet to begin with.

"No," Kyle insists, shrugging.

"You're so fuckin' vanilla," Kenny snorts. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"If I do, can we stop talking about this?" Kyle asks and once the other teen nods, he stands up and reaches for his waistband. He unties the string to his sweatpants and pulls his pants down below his hips.

Kenny bites his lip, whining as Kyle briskly makes himself decent again.

"Satisfied now?" the redhead asks, crossing his arms.

Kenny grins. "Very," he promises. "It is big! It's even nicer than Stan's, and that's saying a lot 'cause he has quite the pretty cock."

"Great," Kyle mutters sarcastically. "Good to know… and by the way, you don't have to show me yours. I don't think I'd know what to say if I saw it, to be frank."

Kenny shrugs. "Fair 'nuff."

"But, I have to ask," Kyle starts, sitting back down next Kenny, "Where the fuck did you see Stan and Cartman naked and why?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he teases.

"Really," Kyle urges. "I'm curious."

"Eric likes to have a hole to fuck," Kenny says. "Sometimes, that hole just happens to be mine. Same with Stan. He got lonely and sexually frustrated after Wendy broke things off. So, if they're in the mood, they'll call me over. It's not a big deal. It's just something that happens."

"Shit," Kyle groans. "Are you joking?"

Kenny shakes his head. "No."

Kyle lets out a breath. "Well… all right, then. How come I never knew about this before now?"

"Because you're, as you like to think, straight as a fuckin' pole," he says. "Just because you're a jock it doesn't mean you have to live so closely to that damn stereotype. Let me just tell you this, Kyle: most people are not as straight as they claim. If you keep thinking that, you might miss out on something fun. Open your fuckin' eyes. Sexuality is a spectrum."

"So, what?" Kyle asks with a scoff. "If I open my eyes, you'll open your legs?"

The hoodrat smirks. "There's one way to look at it."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to see that much of another guy," Kyle admits.

"Well, then," Kenny says, standing up. "You're missing out, because I have a pretty sweet ass." He saunters towards the door and says, "I'm going home. Bye, Kyle!"

Without another word, he's gone, leaving Kyle alone to think about everything he said.

The following day, school goes by slowly and after classes are over everyone gathers behind the school to watch the fight unfold. It's always been like this – Stan's gang versus Craig's gang. Fights are almost weekly and now that they're older, the damage is always worse than what they've endured from one another as children.

Cartman throws the first punch, landing his fist in Token's unsuspecting face. "Shit!" he hisses. "You fat fuck!" He doesn't hesitate to retaliate and the fight is on. Kids are screaming and cheering, circling the rowdy boys.

Stan and Craig are wailing on each other and tossing insults back and forth. "Snaggle-toothed bitch!" Stan shouts.

"Dyke fucker!" Craig returns as they roll around on the snow, each fighting for the upper hand.

Jason has Kenny pinned down. The blond is laughing as Jason throws punches. He hits harder, but it only entices Kenny into further laughter. "Are you psychotic?" he shouts at the bloody-faced teen.

"Yeah, babe," Kenny says breathlessly, staring up at him. "Didn't you know? Hit me again."

A few feet away, Kyle has Clyde in a chokehold. "Fuck!" Clyde coughs, trying to struggle out of Kyle's iron grip.

Before anyone gets knocked out, Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey arrive on scene. "Break it up, mm'kay!" he shouts, while Principal Victoria just looks pissed.

"Craig, Stan, Clyde, Kyle, Jason, Kenny, Token and Eric!" she yells. "To my office, now!" She spins around on her heels and the boys all untangle themselves from one another, following the principal inside. They squeeze into her office and she begins an angry tirade. "We're all getting sick of this! The semester has just begun and you boys have been in nine fights already! Nine!"

"We're sorry, Principal Victoria," Cartman apologizes with an impatient sigh, not sounding all that sincere.

"You say that every time, yet you keep fighting!" she exclaims. "If you were sorry, you would all try harder!"

"That's why we've come up with a better solution than simple detention, m'kay," Mr. Mackey cuts in. "This time, we'll all be doing group therapy."

"Fuck that," Craig says simply, crossing his arms.

"You have no choice in the matter," Principal Victoria says in a shrill tone. "I'll be calling all of your parents and informing them of your behaviour."

"Shit," Kyle cusses under his breath. Sheila is going to murder him.

"Are we done?" Kenny asks, wiping the red trail running out of his nose. "I'm kinda bleedin' a lot here."

The principal sighs warily, waving them off. "Yes, go. I'll be in touch with all of you when I've thought of the terms and conditions for your punishment."

With a collective sigh, they all leave the office. Stan's gang goes one way, while Craig's gang goes the opposite.

"This is so fucking gay," Cartman snaps angrily. "Who does that bitch think she is?"

"The principal," Kyle answers dully.

"Smart-ass," Stan mutters, nudging his super best friend.