Chapter 4:

The first time Sam woke up he was hot and he began shifting attempting to kick the covers off of his body, and he jumped when he felt a hand on his head.

"Leave them on Sammy, you just gotta sweat it out." The covers were pushed back up to his shoulders and Sam let out of frustrated huff. He opened his eyes, trying to blink away that tired feeling that was coasting through his body.

"Dean?" Sam could see the blurry version of his brother, leaning over him.

"Hey little brother, how you feeling?"

"Mmm… hot, tired, sore."

"Yeah you got a little bit of an infection in your shoulder, but you are going to be fine, go back to sleep little brother."

"I'm not little… and don't tell me what to do." Dean laughed and pushed the hair out of Sam's face.

"You'll always be little to me Sammy…" Sam was filled with a feeling of warmth, before he drifted back off to sleep. The next time Sam woke up, he was very aware that it was not his brother in the room with him, and he opened his eyes, to see a silver haired man that Sam had known all his life.

"Jim?" Sam asked groggily. Jim was the oldest in their family, and he was the Guardian of the Brotherhood, not to mention a devout pastor. Jim looked at Sam over the top of his book, and put it down.

"Glad you are finally waking up my boy, how do you feel?" Sam pushed himself up and grimaced at the pain in his shoulder.

"I'm fine, just a little sore." Jim laughed, the boys who had grown up on his farm had a distinct talent of downplaying how bad an injury was, he believed it was a reminder that they had all been raised around a marine, John Winchester himself and even though Sam was distinctly different from the rest of them, he held on to those qualities that made him in many ways exactly like his father.

"Sure you are Samuel." Sam sighed, Jim always saw right through him.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked automatically, and then blushed slightly when he realized how young he sounded, he sounded just like a sick little boy who needed his big brother with him, and in many ways maybe that was true.

"He went to shower, I told him I would sit with you until he got back." Sam nodded, his head. "What are you thinking about?" Sam met the Pastor's eyes, there was no getting around Jim, the man always knew when one of his boys was having a problem, and he was the safest person to talk to, even if he wasn't under a religious oath, Sam knew nothing they said to each other would ever leave the room.

"Dean knows about Stanford." Jim nodded, Sam had came to him the year before asking for help applying, the Pastor had told him that he could have all of the applications mailed here, but when it came to telling his family, Sam would have to handle that on his own.

"How did he take it?"

"I don't know, he brought it up when I was hurt, I think he was just trying to distract me… I need to talk to him about it, but I don't want him to hate me." Jim sighed, and shook his head.

"Samuel, after everything that has happened, and all you have been through Dean has been a rock through it all. I remember when I first met you boys, Dean was always watching you, making sure you were safe, and I also remember Dean fighting so hard with all of us when we wanted to tell you the truth about monsters, because he wanted you to feel happy, and he you wanted to be a kid. I think you need to have a little more faith in your brother Samuel, because no matter what you choose to do with your life, he will let you do it, as long as you are happy." Sam thought about it for a little while and then turned back towards Jim.

"I know how much he cares about me Jim… and I know that he will let me go if I ask him too but what if I break him by doing this? My Dad can go on, we don't get along anyway, and I can't help but feel like this is the worst thing I could possibly do as a brother." Jim watched Sam, and he remembered days on the farm when Sam Dean and Caleb were all children, and this was a place of solace for all of them and Jim selfishly thought it would be better if he could keep them all here where they would be safe, but Jim knew better. Dean and Caleb had been grownups for so long, and it was time for Sam to go off and figure out what he wanted out of life. He knew better then to clip his boy's wings, even if that meant letting them go for a while.

"Samuel, you know I would never lie to you right?"

"Of course."

"Okay, I am just going to tell you the truth, it is going to be hard on Dean for awhile, but I promise you, that this family will keep him safe and we will hold him together, for as long as it takes, and I am sure Caleb will be more then willing to step up into the brother role for now, until you decide to come back." Sam stared hard at Jim and bit his lip.

"What if I don't want to come back Jim? What if I just want to live my life away from monsters, hunters, and the Brotherhood? What then? Will any of you ever forgive me for that? I don't want to lose my family." Jim already knew that Sam would come back, he had a destiny ahead of him that would bring the Winchester's and the Brotherhood back together again, but it would be along time until Sam would have to step into those shoes, so for now Sam could just be the college bound teen.

"Time will tell what is going to happen, my boy, but for now I will keep your family safe, and Caleb will protect your brother, but you need to talk to him, tell him everything, I don't want this weighing you down anymore, but no matter what happens, or where life takes you, I promise that you will always have a place here, nobody can take that away from you, this is your home Sam, and it will always be here waiting for you, if you need it."

"Okay Jim, thank you." Sam kicked back the covers and stood up steadily, the long sleep had done him wonders, and although he was still quite sore he felt steady on his feet for the first time since the hunt.

"Of course Samuel, where are you going?" Sam grabbed a tshirt and pulled it over his head and then picked up his jeans off the floor so he could change in the bathroom.

"I am gonna shower and get changed and then I am going to go downstairs and eat some breakfast, I smell bacon." Jim laughed and watched Sam go, he sat there for a minute twisting the silver ring on his finger.

"Good luck my boy, I will be waiting until you return to us."

Sam let the hot water run over his sore muscles attempting to keep his shoulder and stomach out from under it, he didn't want the hot water running into either wound, he knew from experience how bad that would hurt, and he turned the water off when he heard a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" He called.

"You okay in there Sammy?" It was Dean.

"Yeah, hang on a second." Sam dried off quickly and slipped into his jeans before opening the door, Dean was leaning casually against the wall, but Sam knew his brother and could tell how tense he was. Dean looked up and smiled at Sam.

"You looked better." Sam smirked.

"I feel better now that I don't feel coated in 3 days worth of grime and sweat." Sam winced as he inspected the wound on his shoulder, it was still tender but it seemed to be healing better now.

"You want some help bandaging that back up?"

"Yeah if you don't mind, I can bandage my stomach, but this is too awkward to do one handed." Dean laughed.

"Yeah, shoulder injuries are a bitch. Sit down, we will get you fixed up before we go downstairs, we got Caleb cooking breakfast."

"Is Dad here?" Dean tensed.

"Yeah he got here this morning, why? You gonna go chew him out?" Sam shook his head. "Why not Sammy? He did screw up."

"Yeah, but don't you think this is punishment enough for him?"

"Or maybe you don't want to pick a fight with him cause you are leaving for Standford soon?" Sam winced, and it had nothing to do with the fact Dean was trying to clean and wrap his shoulder.

"I was going to tell you… I was just waiting for the right time."

"When were you planning on telling me? The night you walked out?"

"No, that was the night I planned on telling Dad, I kind of wanted your… okay to go I guess."

"Why do you care so much what I think?" Dean finished bandaging Sam's shoulder and was now sitting beside Sam on the edge of the tub.

"You're my brother, and you spent so much time helping me with homework and stuff. I mean, you were the one I told when I got A's and you were the one who was always so proud of me… I guess other kids have their parents to do all that for them… and I had you. And honestly, I'm not sure if it is even worth going if I know you are disappointed in me…." Dean sighed and looked at Sam, he wanted to tell Sam he couldn't go, but he couldn't.

"I have never been disappointed in you Sammy, and to be honest, I knew that this day was going to come, no matter how much I wanted to tell myself it wouldn't. If this is what you want, I won't stop you. I can't say I understand, because school has never exactly been one of my top priorities, but I also know you aren't happy here. So go, live your life, and know that I'm proud of you." Sam swallowed the lump in his throat, and smiled up at his brother, his hero in so many ways.

"Thank you Dean."

"Your welcome princess, how long you got until you have to leave?"

"5 months." Dean nodded.

"Who else knows?"

"Pastor Jim, you, and I guess Caleb."

"Alright, well then lets make it count little brother. Everyone's waiting for you downstairs, ready?"

"Yeah, lets go." And for just a few hours, Sam forgot about Stanford, and the future and sat there laughing at the men who had shaped his life, and for the first time in months, he wasn't tense, and he was completely happy.