AN: So, here is a short fic that's more of a massive headcanon dump of what could possibly be a tragic backstory for all of our favorite veggies. Depending on how this is received, there may be a sequel in the works.

I'd like to point out that I don't think anyone is going to take this as canon, but as far as I know (with only exception being Jimmy and Jerry on the 80s album but I'm turning a blind eye to it) none of this goes directly against canon, either.

Bob was taught all the ways a man could fail from an early age. Growing up with his single mother on the downtown streets of AnyCity USA…it was tough. The grimy buildings, the ne'er-do-well neighbours, the constant fear. And little Bob was the man of the house for as far back as he could remember. His mom cried a lot, and it was his job to make it better.

That's why in high school he never went out, never partied. Studying needed to be done. He had to make something of himself, after all. And it did all work out. He got a huge scholarship and was able to go to university and make his mother proud. That's why even now, as an adult with a secure job and enough money to buy his mother a house in the nice part of town (which he stills claims as his proudest moment) he feels the need to push for excellence. It was how he was born and bred.

Larry was pretty sure he wasn't gay. Well, he did come from a very conservative family where it would've been frowned upon and he would've repressed it…but he just liked musical theatre and stuffed animals and was a late bloomer! That was it! The teasing and tormenting was going to go away once he graduated, he thought. But even his first two years of college left him feeling closed off and alone. Like being himself was wrong. It brought him to some dark and dangerous places.

But then, everything changed. He was in his creative writing class when the professor paired him off with Bob for a group assignment. And Larry found his first real friend. Bob wasn't cruel like the others. Any teasing that arose was always in jest. Larry felt like he could finally be himself around someone. He never told Bob, but his friendship just may have saved him.

Archibald was going to be deported. It was so hard to find work in the states, but he couldn't go back to England. He'd already burned all of his bridges. Going back would leave him with absolutely nothing. At least here he had an apartment. One that he couldn't afford the rent for, since he was currently balancing a plethora of odd-jobs, but it was a roof over his head, at the very least.

He was a month away from being forced out of the country when Larry offered him his seat on the bus "You seem kinda blue. Thought you could use it more than I could!" was the opening line of a dialogue that thankfully secured him a real job so he could keep his place.

Pa was struggling to make ends meet. They were close to eviction. Ma knew, he was sure. They never spoke of it, but he could tell from looking at her. The kids, bless their hearts, had no idea that having next to no food on the table wasn't how everyone else lived. There was nights where crying was all he could do. Then he would pray. Not for himself, but for his wife, and Tom, and Rosie. That something would come and save those three. The three most precious beings in his life.

And then, one day, he ran into a young man after church. His name was Bob, and he was new to the area. He was starting a short film company, with one video already out. Chance encounters, sometimes, could prove to be divine intervention, as far as Pa was concerned from that day forward.

Jimmy and Jerry always wondered what life would be like if their parents had survived the crash. Their lives had changed drastically since then…and they just couldn't help but wonder. What would have became of them? Jimmy immediately started coping with humor. It was often ill-suited, but it was how he got by. It was especially hard on him, as his once vibrant brother now barely uttered a word to anyone but him. Without Jimmy around, people would probably think Jerry was mute. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly anxious, he'd still only speak to and via his brother, still to this day. While others question it, Jimmy never does.

Of course, as years went by, he got more comfortable. He has Big Idea to thank for most of it, actually. Jimmy was an obvious choice for an actor, but he insisted his brother join, too. It helped Jerry open up, and it helped Jimmy loosen up. They could finally have something next to normal. And for them, that was all they needed.

Lunt had just about as much as he could take with ridiculous stereotypes. No one would give him a job interview, he assumed because of the accent and the gold tooth. Nothing was working out for him. He couldn't even talk to the cute girl three doors down. He was a great guy once you got to know him! The only problem was, no one particularly wanted to get to know him. He used to be so smooth, he could talk his way in or out of anything…but lately, things were getting him down. He had even looked into getting the gold tooth removed. Anything to conform a little more.

But then, his agent called. He got the part. He was thrilled, of course. When he asked Bob about it later, the tomato shrugged and said with a smile "Your audition stood out the most!"

It was then that he realized that maybe standing out wasn't a bad thing.

Nezzer had done some time in jail. He didn't really like talking about it. It was for assault. He was at a bar, a guy was trying to take advantage of a much too drunk girl, and Nezzer decided that he'd use his size for good. He just got a little carried away, was all. And jail changes a person. He came out a changed man. But not many places were about to willing hire a convicted criminal. Needless to say, Big Idea changed that for him. They looked past who he used to be, and hired him based on who he was now. And while he was originally hired to play villains, after a while, they started letting him play some good guys, which meant more to him then he could ever articulate.

Madame Blueberry was never actually married. Madame Blueberry was a stage name. Back when she was, in her own words "young and beautiful" she was a drama major, and as such, took a lot of literature courses. Megan Bluette understood the pun, which was why she chose it. Not too many of the customer's at the strip club got it, but hey, it didn't stop them from asking for her.

Oh yeah. She used to be a stripper. And if you ask her, that would be her reaction. Though sometime the memories still haunt her, she now realizes that it was very hard to get a job relating to her degree, and it took them no time at all to convince her it was a performance art. She was young and foolish and they exploited her, but she made it out in the end. Of course, she still wonders what would've happened if she hadn't accidently ran into Bob that day – but she chooses not to dwell on it. She was a real actress now. And that was all she ever really wanted, anyway.

Petunia really hoped they didn't know she was within earshot.

"I am like, 1000 percent sure I'm not gay."

"Does our late bloomer have a crush?" Bob teased "You think she was pretty?"

"I could always look at a girl and tell she was pretty. I've never looked at a girl and thought 'I want you' before, Bob."

The comment made her blood boil. This was supposed to be different. She told her agent not to book her anymore auditions that were basically for young, pretty, undiscovered girls. "But this one's different." Her agent had told her "They're a Christian company."

She had been screwed over by directors before. Literally. Told "all lead actresses do it to get their in" and then being told "they were going in another direction. You know how it is." She was stupid for agreeing to it all in the first place, but they had such a way with words. They always made it seem so legitimate.

But here she stood. Even if she got the part, it was only because one of the creators wanted to screw her. She'd have to turn it down. There was no way she could work with them knowing that. And she had put in so much effort to nailing this character. She really thought she had a shot…

"I mean, you know, not like that." Larry added quickly "I just mean…gosh, she's so pretty, Bob. And she seems so kind. She's…she's perfect. And I'd get to pretend marry her!"

She found herself giggling, for some reason. Just like that, he had gone from total skeezeball to well…she dare say he won her over. And he was pretty cute…

They needed each other. The entire studio. There were fires. There were scares of bankruptcy. There was general disorganization and moments of terror. But it was unanimously agreed within the cast - it was so much better than the alternative.