Sherlock was feeling very good today. It was a week after John had met his parents, and Sherlock was just finishing up ballet practice. His partner, Molly, was a good friend of his who had learned to deal with his eccentricities. They were currently dancing the Nutcracker as a cooldown from a few hours practice under their coach, and as Sherlock was performing the last, perfect lift when John, sweaty and dirty from practice, poked his head around the corner. He smiled fondly at the look of utter contentment and focus on Sherlock's face.

Practice broke up, Sherlock went and changed, emerging to hurry across to his boyfriend.

The pair were out, certainly. John had dated many girls and gone on an unsuccessful date with a male before Sherlock. Being bisexual was very convenient for dating Sherlock Sara Holmes, and John was not ashamed of dating somebody who, to others at least, was male.

Molly waved goodbye as Sherlock and John headed off hand in hand, turning back to her own boyfriend (a fresh from the academy police officer 7 years her senior).

"Greg, I've never seen Sherlock happier than when he's with John" she commented softly, looking up at him.

"Just as long as he's not eyeing you" Teased Officer Greg Lestrade, leaning down to peck her on the nose.

Sherlock was feeling rather feminine that day (though certainly not female) and had dressed accordingly in skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a casual unbuttoned forest green waistcoat. It was all topped with a casual grey jacket that gave a rather nice effect.

They were headed back to Sherlock's for a movie and some popcorn, and ended up cuddled on the couch with an empty bowl on the table in front of them.

It started off innocently enough. A soft, gentle kiss. John would never get used to Sherlock's lips; they were addictive and always tasted of tea and almonds. The kiss deepened. John's hands were meshed in Sherlock's thick, dark curls as Sherlock tentatively parted his lips.

It didn't take long before Sherlock was flat on his back with John straddling him, and for both of them their arousal was abundantly apparent. John was leaving hickies across Sherlock's neck, nibbling his collarbone. His hand slipped down Sherlock's body to palm at the slender man's clothed erection, and oh Sherlock was feeling so overwhelmed. His hips bucked into the feeling but-

"John!" He gasped out "John st-st-stop! Please stop!"

"What?" John sat up at once, face flushed and eyes dark with arousal "What, are you alright? Have I hurt you? Sherlock?"

"N-n-not ready" Sherlock was shaking with arousal and confusion at the overwhelming sensations.

"Oh…" The disappointment on John's face was hastily concealed "Sorry, yeah Sherlock that's alright" He slid off Sherlock lap, standing awkwardly rubbing at his wrist to try to dispel his own erection "That's…yeah, alright."

Sherlock felt a packet of guilt explode in his chest "John, wait!" he said quickly, panic flooding his brain "We can go on, I'm sorry, please don't…we can go on…" Despite his words, his face was white and his blue eyes were wide with trepidation.

"Oh Sherlock…" John crossed the room and cupped Sherlock's face in his hands "It's alright to not be ready. I'll just be in the bathroom, yeah? Ten minutes"

John vanished down the hall.

Sherlock sat up, trembling a little, before shaking his head, slipping on his shoes, and going out into the city to get some air.

When John emerged to find Sherlock gone he swore softly and tried Sherlock's mobile, but it vibrated uselessly on the coffee table.

It was nearing one in the morning when Sherlock returned, surprised to find that John hadn't left.

"Sherlock! You prat, where did you go, why didn't you take your phone, I've been worried s-"

"Quiet John. We need to talk"

"Oh…"

There was silence for a moment before Sherlock indicated that John should sit in the red chair designated for him these days. John obeyed, and Sherlock began to pace.

"I am…uncertain" Said Sherlock quietly, crossing back and forth across the room.

"About?"

"Love"

"Oh"

Silence. Footsteps on the carpet.

"I love you, John. I love you powerfully and beyond the realms of sanity. Today I was willing to go past my own comfort, to be in pain, to do anything to keep you happy. Afraid of losing or displeasing you, I offered you myself, and surely that is not healthy. Were you to tell me to leap off a building, I would ask which one and do so without hesitation."

John was numb, the words ringing in his ears. What was Sherlock saying?

"Love is frustrating. Maddening. It goes beyond reason, beyond sense. It is foolish, and I adore you John, and I am overwhelmed and overjoyed by this…this chemical construct of love. How do I account for it?"

"Sherlock, stop!"

Sherlock went very still, not looking at John. The latter stood and approached, hesitantly cupping the taller man's cheeks in his hands.

"Love is…is madness Sherlock. Love is insane, it goes beyond reason, like you said. But it's a wonderful insanity, love is. It's beautiful and terrifying and you cannot let it take control like that. Sherlock, unhealthy relationships are built on one person practically worshiping the other, even beyond their own comfort. We can't let that be us. I-"

Sherlock's resolve to remain expressionless was crumbling. He was very pale and his eyes were stinging with suppressed tears.

"John, I have done my research. I looked all across the internet. While I enjoy snogging, I am unprepared to go 'all the way', which I believe qualifies me as a 'tease', correct? And taking on the submissive female role, it is my duty to please you, is it not? No matter what the cost"

"NO!"

John was appalled "I told you Sherlock, I told you to never go to the internet for advice about relationships, okay? They aren't right, that's not what a healthy relationship is. Whatever we are, it isn't that. You are no less than me, and you always have a right to say no. Do you hear me, Sherlock Sara Holmes? ALWAYS!"

There was a ringing silence before Sherlock crumpled. John lunged forward and caught him. They sank to the floor with John holding his Sherlock, his poor naive Sherlock.

"Hey hey…it's alright, Sherlock, come on, it's alright…"

"I was so…so afraid to tell you. So afraid you were going to tell me that they were all right, that I had to please you, so afraid I was going to lose you John, for saying no…"

"Oh Sherlock…oh Sherlock I love you…I love you so so much…"

Sherlock was crying. John was crying. They were two fools in love, crying on the sitting room floor, all the stronger for it.