Author's note: Little one shot inspired an anti-CS rant (strange, I know). I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

History and Truth

"So..."

Killian harrumphed a little under her, his good hand stroking her hair. "So...what, darling?"

Emma couldn't even believe she was contemplating asking. It was so stupid. She had her pirate. Naked, right there under her after a particularly fulfilling round of get-some-before-the-next-crisis-hit as she taken to calling it. Hell, she was cuddling with the man, something Emma had thought she'd never do again. (And no, Walsh did not count. Stupid monkey.)

But they'd seen Tinkerbell in town today. She just marched right up to Killian and hugged him like they were old friends. And Emma remembered that day outside Granny's. And something very like jealousy had curled in her gut. Like she said, stupid. But her stupid brain couldn't seem to shake it. For God's sake, everyone had a past. She had one filled with nights she wasn't particularly proud of with men she didn't even remember anymore. And Emma had seen how Killian had been in the past, had blatantly flirted, kissed and distracted his past self. And liked it. So him and Tinkerbell? What did it matter?

But it bothered her. And it bothered her that it bothered her.

God, she was so beyond messed up.

"Lass?" Killian questioned. She must have been silent longer than she thought. Damn perceptive pirate. "Out with it, Swan."

"It's stupid."

"No. It's not. Not if it's got you all sullen like this."

"I am not sullen!"

"Believe what you want, love. Open book, remember?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." She sat up and took a deep breath, preparing to make a complete ass of herself. "I was wondering if you and Tinkerbell ever...you know."

To her surprise, Killian looked away, smacking his lips together. "Ah. To be perfectly honest, lass, I don't, um, really recall."

"The rum?" Emma asked, knowingly.

Killian sighed and sat up himself. "I was in a very dark place in Neverland, love. By the time Lady Bell arrived there, I had already been there for a several centuries. Strangely, we met in a similar way to how you and I met."

"A pile of corpses?"

"No, a knife to the throat."

"I knew I liked her for a reason." Except for the part where the fairy may have gotten her grubby hands on her pirate. Stop being stupid, Emma.

Killian laughed dryly. "Yes, well. We became friends...of a sort after that, dodging that demon Pan and whatnot. As to the question of anything more than that...I can't say with any honesty. I think not, but to be sure you'd have to ask her."

"What about that day at Granny's?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. God, Emma, you really are trying to drive him away with this interrogation, aren't you?

Killian tried for smug first. "So you were jealous."

"Wasn't." Liar.

"You're not the only person who can read people, Swan."

She waved her hand at him. "Whatever. Are you gonna answer the question?"

"Jealousy is rather fetching on you, Swan." Then he shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Now don't take this the wrong way, love. I was...trying to be a gentleman and respect what I perceived to be your wishes. For your sake. And Henry's."

Emma frowned. "What are you taking about, Killian?" She remembered his odd distance when they got back from Neverland. She also remembered not liking it very much, even though she'd tried denying it to herself. She spent a lot of time denying things to herself when it came to him.

"When we returned, I decided to step back. To not pursue you. To give you and Neal a chance to reconcile, if that was your wish."

"That's why you were avoiding me."

"Aye."

Emma thought back, sifting through the memories of that day at the diner. "You spoke to Neal. I saw you. Is that what you were telling him?"

Killian nodded. "Did I overstep?"

The worry line she saw in his brow tugged at her heart. He spent so much time concerned with her happiness; no one had ever done that for her before. "No. It's kinda sweet actually. Unnecessary, but sweet."

"Unnecessary?"

"Right after he spoke to you, he came to talk to me, remember?" She knew he remembered; he was there. God, it had to have killed him to watch that. "Which...typical. He gets 'permission'," Emma used her sarcastic quote fingers, "from you and comes running to beg me to have lunch with him. To talk. Just like that."

Killian looked at her curiously. "You didn't accept?"

Emma sighed. "No. Neal...it was complicated. I mean, you know what he did to me. I wouldn't have ever been able to truly trust him again. Trust that he wasn't just going to pack up one day when shit with his father got too hard. Or whatever. Killian, he left me in prison. Then never bothered to find me. Even after he knew I'd broken the curse. Not even to apologize or explain." She didn't want to speak ill of the dead, but that didn't change how she felt. Part of her would always love Neal. But she couldn't ever have been with him again. He wasn't her Tallahassee.

"Lass..."

"No, it's fine." She just hadn't talked about this in a long time. "Anyway, I was out at the docks avoiding him. I didn't want to give him false hope. David showed up and dragged me back. Where we ran into you and Tinkerbell."

"Looking suspicious."

"Yeah."

"Well, in the spirit of honesty, nothing happened. I was a tad inebriated, I'll not deny. I found Tink coming downstairs and um...offered her a drink."

Emma gave him a tiny smile. "Let me guess, you weren't just offering her a drink?"

"Not exactly, no."

"Turned you down flat, didn't she?" Emma asked with a knowing brow raised.

"Aye. Said something about not distracting me from you."

"Well, I guess I can't blame you for that. I wasn't exactly Miss Emotionally Available at the time, what with Peter Pan possessing my son and all." She reached over for his hand. She found it easier and easier to do that, to reach out for him. "Everything worked out in the end though, right?"

Killian laughed. "If you call getting sent back to the Enchanted Forest, breaking your memory curse, fighting the bloody Wicked Witch and going back to the past as working out in the end. Then yes, darling, you are exactly right."

Emma stared down at their joined hands. "I'm glad you fought for me. That you didn't give up. Even those times when I was downright mean to you. You didn't deserve that."

"This old pirate's heard worse, Swan. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Still, I'm sorry. I've never been very good at this whole relationship thing. And you scared the shit out of me." He still did sometimes. But she was getting better. Everyday. Thanks to him and her family. She was healing.

"Apology accepted, lass." He pulled her to him, laying them back down on the bed. "Now how about we get some sleep before the next town emergency?"

"No complaints here." She snapped her fingers and turned out the lights. Something else she'd gained because of the man next to her. "Killian?"

"Yes, love?"

"Stay away from Tinkerbell."

His warm laugh filled the darkness, settling deep in her healing broken soul. "As you wish."