Beth stares down at the offending plastic stick as if staring at it will really change the result.
She's suspected for weeks. It shouldn't be this much of a surprise. She's been exhausted and sick and emotional and one night it just clicked. Daryl is sure she's been coming down with something (and oh boy has she come down with something) but there's been a niggle in the back of her mind and it seems her suspicions were correct because here she is with a little pink plus.
She had asked Maggie to find her a test on the next run she went on; too scared to ask it of Daryl. She hadn't wanted to worry him unnecessarily though she was certain that the test would not tell her anything she couldn't already feel in her bones. Maggie had gone white but had agreed at once.
She had discreetly passed the box to Beth once she returned to camp and Beth had hidden it at the bottom of her bag. That was two days ago and now there's nothing else to do but accept it.
She's been quiet for days. Daryl isn't overly concerned - with the cold weather closing in everyone is busy preparing everything they'll need. They've taken up refuge in a small elementary school and are gathering and organising as much food and warm clothing as they can find. It isn't until Beth seeks him out early one morning that his senses prick up.
"I need to talk to you." Beth tells him quietly, nodding towards the door. He glances around but Glenn is too busy shifting boxes to take any notice.
"What's up?" Daryl asks when they are outside and alone. Beth shivers slightly as her breath fogs in front of her. She wraps her arms around herself and bites down on her bottom lip. Daryl waits, suddenly full of apprehension. Was this the moment he had been waiting for? Ever since they had decided that what was going on between them was in fact something, Daryl had been waiting for the day when Beth decided that it wasn't what she wanted after all.
He tries to steel himself for her words but all he feels is a sudden sharp pain in his chest.
"I'm pregnant."
He hadn't expected that.
Daryl takes a step back from her, his head suddenly spinning.
He's hit with so many different emotions he feels sick. His initial reaction is shock, followed closely by elation which does not last long and is replaced abruptly with terror. It all happens in the moments the words tumble from Beth's lips and he spends them in silence, his jaw clenched as Beth stares up at him, waiting for a reaction.
Her eyes flick between his, searching for some sort of response but it is almost as though he is shutting down.
Beth opens her mouth to speak but the door opens suddenly and Glenn steps out.
"Beth, there you are. Maggie's looking for you." Glenn tells her. His gaze darts from Beth who is practically shaking to Daryl who looks like he's going to hurl. "Everything okay?"
Beth's eyes snap to Glenn and she forces a smile. "Fine."
With a glance towards Daryl, Beth heads inside. Glenn hesitates a moment, watching Daryl who still hasn't moved since Glenn stepped outside. Shaking his head, Glenn heads back in to the warm.
It takes Daryl several attempts to swallow and all he can do is do what he always does when there are too many thoughts in his head - he takes to the woods. His head is too foggy to actually hunt anything but he hopes the air and the quiet will clear out some of the thoughts in his head.
Beth finds Maggie sorting through blankets.
"Hey..." She greets her sister in a quiet voice. Maggie looks up immediately.
"Hey." Maggie drops the blanket she was folding into a box and steps towards Beth. Beth crosses her arms across her chest and shrinks away from Maggie.
"Oh god." Maggie's hand comes up to cover her mouth. "It was positive wasn't it?"
Biting her lip as her eyes suddenly fill with tears, Beth nods. Maggie steps forward and wraps her arms around Beth. Beth clings to her sister until her knuckles are white.
"Have you told Daryl?" Maggie asks.
"Just now." Beth nods.
"And? What did he say?"
Beth is silent a moment and then tells her, "He didn't say anything."
The terror that had carried him to the woods quickly dispels into guilt and shame as he thinks on how he gave such a non-reaction and allowed Beth to leave him alone in the pale morning light.
He immediately heads back to the school and he finds her sitting crosslegged on the floor of the administration office, sorting through the scarce supplies of a handful of first aid boxes. He taps lightly on the door frame and she looks up, her eyes are rimmed red and guilt hits Daryl like a punch in the gut.
"'m sorry." He doesn't know whether he is apologising for bolting or for having gotten her into this mess in the first place.
"It's not your fault." She shrugs, her voice is hoarse. Cautiously, he steps into the office and joins her on the floor.
"I shouldn't a run off." He chews on his lip. "Just…"
"Got scared?" Beth prompts him gently. He finally looks up to meet her gaze, holds it, making sure she's not teasing, before he nods.
"I don't know how to be a dad, Beth." He sighs, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut. He stills when Beth's hand pulls his away from his face slowly. His eyes open and she's closer to him than before.
"We're in this together." Her eyes are wide and she almost looks as though she's asking him rather that telling him. He nods.
"We'll figure it out." He tells her, his voice low. "Make it work."
"I keep thinking about Lori." Beth whispers suddenly in the darkness. He opens his eyes in surprise, having been sure she had fallen asleep hours ago. He tightens his hold around her.
"We're gonna be okay." Daryl tries his best to sound reassuring; the truth is he is just as scared as she is. "You're gonna be okay."
He's always been protective of her – she was a part of his family. It was only after they were alone on the road together that it became something else. Something more.
After everything they've been through, after losing her once and finding her again, he won't let it happen again. He'd tear the world apart before he'd let anything happen to her.
But this is life and life is messy and Lori is proof that some things are just too big for one man to stop.
It's been a few weeks and Beth thinks it's time they should tell the others. Daryl thinks it's too soon; she's not far enough along to really be showing yet and he doesn't think they should worry them.
"It's not fair on them." Beth argues. Daryl has been cutting back on his rationed food and giving the extra to Beth. She tells him the others will start to notice.
They tell the group over a meagre dinner of boiled beans and rice. While everyone smiles and offers congratulations, Beth sees the tightness around their eyes and the strain in their smiles. They remember Lori. They remember the struggle.
Maggie hugs Beth until she can barely breathe but she knew already. Michonne gets a sad smile on her face before leaving to walk the parameter of the camp. Rick shares a nod with Daryl and offers him another quiet congratulations.
Carl comes to sit by her with Judith but doesn't say anything.
"You okay?" Beth asks him as Judith reaches out towards her.
"Yeah." Carl mumbles eventually. "Just thinking about…"
"Your mom?" Beth's voice is gentle. Judith whimpers as she stretches further to try and reach Beth. Carl nods. Beth runs a hand down Judith's back and lifts her from Carl's lap. The little girl smiles and grabs a chubby fist full of Beth's blonde ponytail.
"You're going be okay." Carl says, watching Beth look down at Judith with a smile on her face. "It's going be different. We'll make sure. You're going to be safe."
Beth looks up at Carl and her eyes soften. "And you're going to be the best uncle." She nudges him and manages to coax a smile from him.
They're on the road again and Beth's stomach is swelling by the day.
They've travelled too far north east and Daryl finds himself standing frozen at the state line.
The others haven't taken any notice of Daryl's sudden stop. Carl is laughing with Michonne as he places one foot either side of the state line, Rick is watching him with a smile. Their laughter carries back to Daryl who still hasn't moved.
Beth comes up behind him, slips her hand in to his and he jumps at the contact.
"Hey…" she whispers, nudging him. He swallows and looks down at her.
I've never been out of Georgia. It echoes in his mind. That day he fought with Beth with a belly full of moonshine, the day she tore down his walls and started to creep under his skin.
"Together?" Beth smiles up at him, tugging ever so gently on his hand as she moves forward. One step. Then another. And another. And then they're in South Carolina and Daryl can breathe again.
Beth gasps suddenly and Daryl's heart splutters in alarm. Only the smile on her face stops him from raising his crossbow at an unseen danger. Without warning she grabs his wrist and places his hand on her stomach.
"It's kicking!" She gasps again, grin stretching from ear to ear. Daryl's stomach turns over when he feels it against his palm.
His child.
Full of life and demanding attention.
Beth sits with her feet in Daryl's lap, he's rubbing her swollen ankles and she's digging into a jar of peanut butter with a spoon. They're on the floor in the corner of a basement. The others are settled in around the room for the night but Beth can't sleep and Daryl isn't about to let her suffer by herself.
"What about Anthony?" She asks with a sigh, leaning her head back against the wall. "Or William?"
"No." His answer is curt and his tone makes her look at him in surprise. He notices her stare and looks away in discomfort.
"Bill Dixon…" by the tone of his voice and the shrug he gives while avoiding her eyes and shaking his head, he doesn't have to elaborate. His father. She clears her throat and takes another spoonful of peanut butter.
"How're you so sure it's a boy?" Daryl sighs, changing the subject. Glad he hasn't fallen into memories of his past, Beth grins and shrugs.
"Not hard to imagine a little Daryl Junior runnin' around causing mayhem."
He shakes his head. It's just as easy to imagine a little blonde thing with skinny arms and a voice as sweet as her mother's. If it is a boy he's not sure he wants him to be a Dixon.
"What about Hershel?" He asks suddenly. Beth quiets and her smile fades. She swallows and looks down at the jar in her hands. He instantly regrets opening his mouth and feels sick.
"Sorry." He says quietly.
"No it's not that...it's sweet…it's just…I don't want this baby livin' in the past. I want it to be the future." Beth bites her lip. "I'm not saying I want to forget everything that's happened to us and our family…I just don't want it to be defined by it."
"I get that." Daryl nods, his hand running up her aching calf muscle. "Still reckon you should think of some girl names though."
They're holed up in a boarding house in preparation for an oncoming storm. Beth's advanced condition is making it difficult to keep a regular pace these days and no one wants her camping out in the open unless they have no other option. Daryl knows she feels guilty but he also knows it has never occurred to anyone in the group to feel bitter. Beth has only ever done her best to look out for everyone and now they wish to do the same for her.
When Rick relieves him of his watch for the night, Daryl finds Beth in the kitchen with Tyreese and Judith. She is hunched over a shirt mending a tear, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. He can't help but think she looks beautiful in the light of the handful of candles that are lit. He remembers the night when they ate peanut butter and jelly and he had felt something tug at his chest when she met his gaze. It seems like so long ago now.
Daryl swallows before stepping further into the room. He nods to Tyreese in way of greeting. The other man returns the gesture as he rocks Judith, humming quietly. Beth glances up and smiles at Daryl's entrance before returning to her task. Daryl settles himself in the chair beside her. The curve of her stomach is obvious, even in the dim light, under the oversized shirt they've found for her to wear. It's getting more difficult to keep her comfortable in clothes that are big enough to accommodate the baby.
As he watches her, bump and all, there's a deeper, perhaps more primitive, part of him that relishes in the thought that he has laid claim to every part of her. Then comes the sobering thought that Beth has done the same with him as he thinks on the strange ache in his chest whenever she isn't nearby. Without thinking, he runs a hand over Beth's shoulder and down her back. She turns to him; the smile on her face is warm and familiar.
"Okay?" She asks.
"Mhm." He nods, chewing his lip. Beth turns back to her sewing but leans herself closer to him so that their shoulders touch.
The is storm raging outside but in the little room they've claimed for themselves Beth can hardly hear the wind howl at all. Daryl is curled around her, fingers laced with hers over her stomach.
He feels Beth run her fingers along the back of his hand, feeling the bones and muscles of his fingers flex under hers.
"You want a ring?" He asks her quietly. Half hoping she'll say yes, half dreading she will too. He's been thinking on it for weeks and it's easier than he thought it would be, asking her. Maybe because they're in the dark or maybe because it doesn't mean what he used to think it did. Not in this world at least.
Beth's hand goes still over his.
"If you want one, I'll get you one." He nudges the back of her head with his nose.
She is quiet for several moments. "Do you want me to have one?"
He chews his lip, thinking on it. If he's honest he doesn't see the point – Beth knows that he is hers and he's come to accept that she feels the same about him (he hadn't trusted it for a long time; couldn't believe he deserved that kind of happiness with someone as good as Beth). But he knows that in the old world Beth would've probably wanted a big church wedding and any baby she'd be having would have its daddy's name all nice and legal.
"It's up to you."
Beth snorts. "We could do this all night."
"I'm serious." Daryl swallows. There is a moment of shuffling and creaking bed springs as Beth turns in his arms to look at him in the dark. He can just barely make out her features.
"I don't need one." She tells him simply. "I love you, Daryl."
Daryl can't help but look down at her stomach that fills the space between them. Beth raises her head slightly off the pillow, watching him.
"I'm yours and you're mine. I don't need a ring to remind me of that." She brings a hand up to cover his cheek. "And neither will this baby."
Daryl is frantic when Beth goes in to labour.
He finds Carol and Maggie, and they get things ready while Beth tries to breathe like Carol tells her. Daryl is by her side when she starts to push. She's practically sobbing through the pain and she grips his hand so tightly Daryl is sure he's going to end up with a broken finger or two.
It's messy and she's exhausted and Daryl feels his throat close up because she's here. Their squalling pink baby is opening her blue eyes to the world and Daryl is shaking when Carol hands her over with a smile.
Beth turns her head towards him, hair sticking to her face with sweat, eyelids drooping with exhaustion but there's a smile on her face and when Daryl holds the child towards her, Beth raises a hand and brushes her finger along the baby's bright pink cheek.
"Looks just like her daddy." Beth has a lazy smile on her face. Everyone seems to have squeezed in to Daryl and Beth tiny room as best they can to meet the newest member of the family.
"Here's hoping she grows out of it." Rick teases, clapping Daryl gently on the back. Daryl doesn't even react; all he can do is stare at the sleeping child in Maggie's arms. His sleeping child.
"I think she looks like Shawn." Maggie smiles down at her niece in wonder before glancing up to look at Beth. The sisters share a look of fondness and Beth gives her a small smile.
"What are you going to call her?" Carl asks. Beth looks up at Daryl and he shrugs.
"Told you you should'a thought of girl names." He tilts his head and gives her an unexpectedly tender look. Some of the others exchange knowing glances and barely concealed grins.
Rick clears his throat. "Okay, let's let them rest. It's been a long day." Beth sends him an appreciative smile and he nods. Slowly everyone shuffles from the room. Maggie is reluctant to go, until she looks at Beth and sees just how close her sister is to nodding off. She places the baby down in her makeshift bed - it's a box that is strikingly similar to little Judith's first crib at the prison (a sign that maybe this is the new way of the world; that life can go on and this is proof). Maggie then steps forward to press a kiss to her younger sister's forehead. She leaves the room and closes the door quietly behind her. Daryl moves to sit on the edge of the bed, enough to peer down at the baby.
"You gonna sleep?" Beth shifts, trying to get her aching body into a comfortable position.
"Nah, I'll stay up for a bit." He tells her quietly. She nods.
"You did good today." She reaches for his hand and squeezes it gently.
He snorts and turns his head to look at her. "You did the hard work."
She closes her eyes and nods again. "I guess I did."
He can't help the grin that appears on his face because it's only moments before she's asleep.
There would be time to pick a name and find a place to be; to figure out their next move and how to live.
For now, he's happy just to watch his two most important people sleep.
AN: A little Bethyl one shot written for Tiffany (daylightspeaks) because she told me once that she had a soft spot for baby fic – happy birthday, m'dear! Hope you like this!
By the way, I was completely floored by the response to the last Bethyl fic I posted so I hope everyone enjoyed this too! Do let me know what you think :) x