Unlike my usual one-shots, this one has a happy ending because Adriane threatened to stop talking to me if I ended it tragically. Still, there's a lot of angst to be had, so carry on, and enjoy!

„Swan! Have you seen Henry's jacket?!" Killian bellows from the hallway and Emma levers herself to her feet, her baby bump preceding her out of the kitchen. She finds her husband with his head and shoulders buried in the closet, rummaging inside and cursing under his breath.

"I thought I saw it in his bedroom, draped over the back of a chair", Emma tells him, her hand resting on the small of his back, her lips quirking up when he wrestles free of the winter coats and forces the door closed.

"Thanks, love", he says, his frown disappearing as soon as he shifts his attention on her, his hand resting briefly on her stomach, his lips pressing a kiss to her cheek before he rushes off, banging on the bathroom door and telling Henry to hurry lest they be late.

Emma looks down at her baby bump and holds it between her hands, then makes her slow way back to the kitchen, her boys poking their heads in a few minutes later and waving goodbye on their way out.

"See you later", she calls after them and goes back to drinking her hot chocolate.

Hours later, after Killian had done his shift in the Sheriff's office with Emma's father and she had had lunch with her mother and played with her three old brother to her heart's content, Emma is lying in bed with her head resting on Killian's thigh, a book of baby names balanced against her stomach while he sifts his fingers through her curls.

"How about Stella?" She asks and tilts her head back to look up at him, finding him staring at her with the gentlest expression on his handsome face.

"Latin for star", he says, lifting his eyebrow as if asking her is she's impressed yet.

"Showoff. But yes. Latin for star", Emma says softly and he thinks about it for a moment, then wraps his arms around her and shifts them so that his face is close to her baby bump.

"What do you say, little love? Would you like mommy and daddy to call you Stella?"

It might be the hormones, but Emma finds herself blinking back tears, her hand rising to caress the silky strands of Killian's hair as he waits with his cheek pressed against her stomach.

Their little girl kicks right under his palm and he grins, then lifts Emma's shirt and presses a kiss right next to her navel.

"We love you very much, Stella Jones", he says and Emma sighs, a sound born of truest happiness, of love and serenity beyond her wildest imagination.

It's the day of Stella's third birthday party and Emma can't find Killian. She smiles at her parents, she ruffles her brother's hair and tells Henry to go easy on the sandwiches, and still Killian is nowhere in sight.

Emma shifts Stella from one hip to the other and tells herself to breathe.

Regina pours Robin a drink and Ruby giggles to something Victor says, Gold gazes at Belle with the utmost devotion, but Emma's husband is just not there.

"Guys! Do you know where Killian is?" Emma finally asks, and everybody turns to look at her with identical stricken expressions.

"Emma", Snow says her name like a caress and comes to lay her hand on Emma's shoulder, her eyes full of motherly concern.

"He's dead", David tells her softly, as if the tone of his voice could lessen the blow of his words.

The room spins around Emma and darkness descends, a rush of pain taking her breath away until her eyes snap open and she sits up awake in bed.

Killian is soundly sleeping next to her, the covers bunched around his waist and his chest rising and falling evenly, but Emma still leans down and rests her cheek against it to make sure his heart is still beating.

His scent soothes her, slowly loosening the hold of her nightmare, but she doesn't manage to go back to sleep again.

Days pass and she still remembers her nightmare in vivid detail, and it haunts her every waking moment. Killian notices, but she tells him she's just stressed about the baby coming soon since they haven't even finished painting the nursery yet, and the very next day Killian and David get to work, sending her to spend the day with her mother and brother.

Emma goes to see Gold instead.

"How may I help you, miss Sw- Jones?"

"I had a nightmare", Emma tells him and lays a protective hand on her stomach.

"You fear it might come true", Gold says matter-of-factly and she can just nod, her throat suddenly tight with fear. "I'm not stranger to prophetic dreams myself; it's actually quite easy to separate them from the regular ones."

"How do I know which one was it?"

"When the dream ended, and before you woke up, did it feel like you were drowning, dying a most painful death?" Gold asks, his voice almost gentle, and Emma feels all color drain from her face. "I am sorry."

"What do I do?" Emma chokes out, taking his offered hand and letting him lead her around the counter and help her sit down on a chair behind it.

"Nothing. There's nothing you can do. Trying to change the future once you've seen it doesn't work. No matter what you do, you're going to end up living through your nightmare. It's just one of the side-effects of magic."

"I don't accept that", Emma tells him and furiously wipes away her tears.

"I never did either", Gold says with the saddest smile that chills her to the bone.

Emma walks around Storybrooke aimlessly and ends up sitting on a bench at the harbor, watching the horizon and trying to find a way to live with what she knows.

Killian finds her hours later, looking so relieved when he sits down next to her and hugs her close, his hand rubbing her arm as he tells her how scared she'd been.

"I'm sorry", Emma whispers, her voice small and broken, tears rolling down her cheeks as she grips the lapels of his leather jacket and holds on for dear life.

"Love, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is the baby-"

"We're fine", Emma says, rushing to alleviate his fears and trying to find a decent lie that would explain her state.

"Tell me what's happened", he coaxes, his arms so warm and solid around her, his lips so soft when he presses kisses against her forehead. "Please, love."

Emma doesn't mean to tell him, she really doesn't, but somehow the words rush out of her and she can't seem to stop them, her fingers squeezing his jacket tightly as if it's going to help her keep him here.

"I don't care about some prophecy", Killian tells her firmly and wipes away her tears, his fake hand resting on her stomach and his eyes blazing with determination. "I promised you a long time ago that I'm never going to leave you and I will keep my promise."

"Gold says it's inevitable", Emma says weakly and he kisses her, hard and hot and perfect, infusing her with strength she desperately needs.

"Nothing is inevitable except our love", he says and pulls her on his lap, holding her tightly until she stops shaking, until her tears dry and he makes her believe in miracles.

Stella is born at 8:15 p.m. and by 9 o'clock Emma is comfortably settled in a private hospital room, watching Killian sit in an armchair next to her bed holding their baby girl in his arms. It's impossible to look away because he looks so serene, so beautiful as he gazes upon their sleeping daughter, his index finger caressing her chin, his long eyelashes casting shadows upon his cheeks.

"Tell me you're going to be there to see her grow up", Emma whispers and Killian looks up, his eyes so very blue when they meet hers.

"I'm not going anywhere, love, I promise", he says solemnly, and Emma closes her eyes, letting herself finally drift off.

They bring Stella home and for a while life revolves entirely around her, the whole family showering her with love and attention, and Emma simply doesn't have time to think about her dream.

As soon as the first four months pass and Stella starts sleeping through the night, Emma starts having nightmares in which she loses Killian in a new way every single time.

"I don't know how to help you", Killian says as she lies in the circle of his arms, his thumb caressing the dark circles under her eyes, her fingers wrapped around his wrist to make sure he stays exactly where he is.

He needs to stay with her where her magic can protect him.

"What was the point of having that dream if I still don't know what's going to happen to you?" Emma asks, her voice rising with righteous anger, but Killian remains silent because it's a question nobody has the answer to.

"I love you", he says, and her heart sinks in her chest because sometime along the way he'd stopped saying that he's never going to leave her.

He's still here, but she's never been more acutely aware of how fragile her brave pirate really is.

Somehow, life goes on. Stella celebrates her first birthday, Henry enters puberty and Emma's bother starts school, but she can't forget the prophecy no matter how hard she tries.

She can't find a way to make sure Killian stays safe either, all the books on magic Gold and Regina posses proving useless.

Killian seems stoic in the face of his own unavoidable demise, and Emma learns to hide her fears and desperation, loving him every day as if it were his last.

Emma spends a good part of Stella's second birthday locked in the bathroom because she finds it difficult to breathe, the balloons and the cake and the presents making her want to yell and scream at the injustice of it all.

Killian coaxes her to let him in and they sit with their backs against the bathtub holding hands, neither of them talking because they don't want to acknowledge the glaringly obvious.

Their daughter's second birthday is the last one Killian is supposed to see.

They return to the party ten minutes later and Emma takes as many pictures of Killian and Stella together as her memory card allows.

Emma goes back to work and doesn't leave Killian alone for a second when they are on duty. She just can't bring herself to let him out of her sight because their time is running out, and she can't give up that last, tiny glimmer of hope that her magic is strong enough to save him.

Killian doesn't appreciate it, and after a week he tells her that she's either going to stop shadowing him, or he's going to quit.

"I'm just trying to keep you alive!" Emma yells, her eyes blazing because she can't believe how thick he is sometimes.

"There's nothing you can do if it's meant to be!" He yells back and stalks out from the Station leaving her standing next to her desk in stunned silence.

She's so very tired.

Sometimes she wonders if she would've been better off without the dream; at least she'd be at peace.

A moment later she feels guilty for even thinking it and rushes out to find Killian and tell him that he can go back to being partners with her father.

David has to promise her that he won't let Killian go anywhere on his own, and luckily her father is better at being unobtrusive than she is.

Emma stands leaning against the wall outside Stella's bedroom and listens to Killian read her a good night story. He changes his voice to suit different characters and their daughter giggles happily, begging for more until Emma comes in and tells her that it's way past her bedtime.

"But daddy's story", Stella pouts, giving Killian her best puppy eyes, and Emma is so overwhelmed with love for both of them she can hardly breathe.

She lets her daughter have her way because she might not get a lot more nights like this with her daddy, but before Emma can leave them to it Killian tugs on her wrist and settles her on his lap, his handless arm resting on her thighs as he focuses his attention back on the story their daughter is so eager to hear.

"The princess wasn't afraid of many things…"

It's a dark winter morning when Emma wakes up and turns off the alarm clock so to keep Killian sleeping. She lies in bed looking at her husband, somehow knowing that today is the day she's supposed to lose him, but instead of feeling scared out of her mind, she feels oddly peaceful.

The uncertain future is here, and all she needs to do is convince him to stay at home with her.

Killian blinks at her sleepily a while later and glances at the clock, his eyes widening when he realizes the time, her hand on his chest stopping him from getting up.

"It's today", Emma says and he closes his eyes, then pulls her on top of him and kisses her fiercely, his tongue invading her mouth, his arms closing around her waist with desperate strength.

He makes love to her with breathless urgency and all she can think is one last time.

Henry is spending the week with Regina and Stella is with Snow, so Killian and Emma stay home and cook lunch together. Emma gives him a peck on the cheek before she goes to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway to watch him cut the tomatoes with utmost precision, and she's half-way down the hall when their building starts shaking, knick knacks falling off the shelves in the living room, the floor rising and falling beneath Emma's feet.

"Killian!" She screams, her blood freezing in her veins when she realizes that she had done a terrible mistake.

The building is coming apart around her and by keeping Killian home she had sealed his fate.

It's the last coherent thought she has before the ground opens and the world around her goes pitch black.

Emma comes to in an ambulance on the way to the hospital, and she goes a little crazy when they tell her that Killian is still trapped underneath the rubble that used to be their building.

They manage to sedate her before she attacks them with magic because they were probably ready for her outburst, and she's almost glad when the darkness overtakes her again.

Almost, because she knows with the utmost clarity that Killian is not dead.

At least not yet.

Emma drifts on the edge of consciousness for what feels like days, but she never manages to open her eyes and rejoin the world even though she knows Killian needs her, even though she knows every minute wasted could be his last.

She simply cannot penetrate the haze of painkillers and sedatives they pump into her, for her own good no doubt.

When she finally wakes, her mother is leaning over her with a shaky smile and her father is holding her hand so tightly she can barely move her fingers.

"Please", she chokes out, that single word encompassing everything she wants to say.

Please tell me he's alive.

Please get me to him.

Please mommy I need him.

Please daddy I can't live without him.

"He's still alive", Snow says and Emma closes her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks while they wait for Whale.

David sifts his fingers through his daughter's hair and Snow keeps telling her not to worry, but there's a note of deeply ingrained sadness in her mother's voice that lets Emma know that Killian doesn't have long.

It's another day before Whale decides Emma is strong enough to go see Killian, and in the meantime her parents distract her with Stella and Henry. Her son is oddly subdued and her daughter lies next to her and wraps her tiny arm around Emma's waist, looking at her with Killian's eyes and telling her not to cry.

And then another dawn comes and they finally roll her down the hallway and park her wheelchair next to Killian's bed, her parents and Whale exchanging worried glances above her head as if they are worried that she's going to fall apart at the sight of her husband.

He's undoubtedly worse off than he was after his encounter with Greg Mendell's car, but it doesn't quite justify the utter despair surrounding her parents and Whale.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Emma, I don't think-", Snow tries to say, but Emma cuts her off impatiently.

"Just tell me."

"He'd been buried under the rubble for too long. Being crushed like that causes toxins to build in your blood and Killian's is chock full of them. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing anybody can do", Whale says and Emma leans forward, her knuckles caressing the less banged-up side of Killian's face.

"Can you just leave me alone with him for a minute?" She asks in a voice that barely wavers, and David ushers her mother outside, Whale closing the door behind them with painful finality.

Emma's eyes caress Killian's sleeping form, and she feels such an overwhelming surge of guilt it nearly doubles her over.

"I am so sorry", she whispers and presses a kiss to his stump because it's the only uncovered part of him she can reach, her tears dripping on his skin as she tries to keep it together.

Killian doesn't respond to her presence and Emma sighs, then lies one hand on his stomach and the other right above his heart, closes her eyes and summons all the magic she possesses.

Whale might have done everything in his power, but he didn't take into account the power of a woman in love.

White, blinding light shoots out of Emma's palms and heals everything in its path, draining her fragile strength in a matter of seconds, but when she collapses forward she does so with a smile on her lips before the last thing she sees before she's pulled under is the blue in Killian's eyes and hears the sweetest song falling from his lips; the sound of her name.

Emma becomes aware of her surroundings and realizes she's in Killian's arms. She knows she's there because she knows how it feels when he's holding her; she knows how he smells and how his heart beats, and she keeps her eyes closed, marveling at the fact that they are both alive.

"Killian?"

"You are the most stubborn woman I know", he says, sounding a little choked up. "What were you even thinking pulling that magical stunt? You could've killed yourself."

"I had to try", Emma tells him, still not opening her eyes. "Are you better now?"

"Still pretty messed up, but no longer dying."

"I'm so sorry", she whispers, the guilt coming back full force. "I caused all this."

"Hush, Swan", he murmurs and she feels his lips pressing against the crown of her head. "You saved me."

"If I hadn't insisted on-"

"It could've been you in that kitchen, love, and then there wouldn't be anybody to save you the way you've saved me", he says softly and entwines their fingers, wincing a little when he pulls her closer still. "You truly are a marvel."

"I'm sorry."

"Shhhh. It was fate, and you still fought against it", Killian murmurs and his lips find hers, giving her absolution she doesn't quite feel she deserves. "We're both alive, and that's all that matters."

Stella's third birthday doesn't look anything like it did in Emma's prophetic dream. Killian is sitting on the couch in their new house with their daughter in his lap as Henry carries the cake from the kitchen and Emma follows with candles.

For a while it was uncertain if it would even be possible for Killian to leave the hospital in time, but in the end Whale had let himself be persuaded.

It was quite clear how desperate they all were for this party.

"Get ready to blow, darling", Killian murmurs against Stella's ear as Emma pokes the candles into the cake, carefully lighting them up.

"Now, mommy?" Stella asks when they are all lit up and Emma nods, wrapping her arm around Henry's shoulders as they watch her extinguish them all in one go.

"Happy birthday!" The three of them exclaim and Stella beams, then snuggles closer to Killian and hides her face in his chest.

She whispers a secret for Killian's ears only and he caresses her back gently, murmuring something comforting and studiously avoiding Emma's eyes.

Emma had saved him from certain death, but the price had been steep for both of them.

Sometimes she still wakes up screaming.

Sometimes he doesn't talk to her for hours, suffering pain she can't find a way to ease no matter how much magic she has.

Afterwards, he never fails to tell her how much he loves her, and how grateful he is for each day he gets to spend with her and their children.

He'd forgiven her for challenging fate a long time ago, but she doesn't think she's ever going to forgive herself.

And yet, she'd do it all the same just to keep him alive.

Killian looks up and his blue gaze finds hers, his lips quirking up at the corners when he speaks.

"Let's try Grandma's Snow cake, shall we?"

After everything they've been through Killian is still reaching for Emma's hand, he still dreams about her every night, and he still teaches her what love is every day.

Emma leans down and gives him a kiss, then goes to fetch the knife and plates.

Review?