Not an Ordinary Psychopath
ではない普通の精神病質
WARNING: Gory/Graphic Scenes
I can't really describe the feelings I get when their blood drips from the tips of my callous, tan fingers or when they scream and plea as if I have some kind of humanity left in me. This is when I laugh—laugh so manically—that they clash their jaws together, a sound of teeth meeting teeth clattering in the place I held them in, and a fear—more fear than usual—enter their eyes when they see that, no, I have no humanity left in me. That's when they start to squirm from the tight ropes, trying desperately to escape. I smiled at this and called them stupid. Of course, why shouldn't I? They should've known from the moment they woke up to a room with the stench of blood and death that they were screwed. Then again, some people just thought that this was a dream; a dream where they'll wake up and keep living a normal life, a life where they're not at the doorsteps of death himself.
I stopped my train of thoughts as I looked at them. The male glared at me as if that alone would burn me to ashes. A muffled sound came from the woman beside him and the male glanced at her. It seemed that she already knew she was going to die by my hands and they shared their last glances of love. Rage filled my being. They were normal and they didn't have to deal with this, this thing that I have. No, they could go on living their lives together and love each other normally while I suffer hell and back. No, I wouldn't allow that. Maybe if I was sane enough I would've let them go and accept that I'm not rational enough and live my life alone; I would've, could have accepted that. But I couldn't because I was envious of them.
I grabbed a knife and didn't give the woman time to think before I slashed her stomach. The knife cut cleanly in a horizontal manner and the blood gushed out like a river falling from a cliff. The muffled scream of her boyfriend filled my ears and I hummed in pleasure. Oh, yes, I loved the way they screamed with fear. It makes me feel superior. I dug the knife deeper and watched with amusement as the knife stabbed the stomach. The woman started to struggle which caused the wound to open wider and more blood oozed out but the scream that the woman made, oh god, it was rich. Even though the cloth stuffed in her mouth was stopping most of the noise, I heard the pain and desperation to get out. She was tied onto a wooden chair, her wrist and ankles bruising due to the friction of the rope. I watched as the rope scratched her skin, leaving marks that slowly started to turn red. "Want me to rid that for you?" I questioned with a smirk on my face. I dropped the knife and the woman doubled over, throwing up near my shoes. She cried and was probably going into shock. I ignored the scene she was making and grabbed a saw I left last time in the shack. It was rusty but it was still useful. Without any hesitation, I cut off her wrists; the sound of bones breaking made the woman cringe and cry more, and I then moved on to cut off her feet. She was shaking and her head was hanging to her side. Her skin was pale from all the blood leaking out from the wounds I inflected but did I give a damn? No. I threw the limbs in the fire place and quickly lit it on fire. I watched as the black smoke went up the chimney and the smell of flesh filled the shack. The man was jumping on his chair; probably trying to get out of his little prison and escape, but it was useless. I sighed, watching as the man struggled and the woman slumping on the chair, her eyes slowly dimming. I decided to end it; these two weren't fun to play with anymore. I slashed her throat, deciding her fate would be a slow and painful death. I turned to the man and licked the blood off the knife while giving him my look. It's a look that I myself find terrifying that it could shit the pants of the strongest person in this planet. My blue eyes turned to this crimson color and my pupils would become slits. It was the very mask of the devil, maybe perhaps something more sinister.
The man's eyes widened and I decided to let myself have a little more fun. The rest of the night was filled with muffled screams, my laugh, and the pleasure I had in seeing my victim die by my hands.
"And the top story today is the death of two unidentified people. The bodies were found today at seven in the morning when someone called the police, complaining about a horrible smell. The bodies were behind an abandoned restaurant that closed down two years ago and Konoha Police is now looking for any clue that can give them a lead. It sounds like they're stuck in a stump, huh?"
"Yes, I agree. The bodies were so impaired that the Department of Body Identification is having more trouble to identify the bodies than usual. So far, the Konoha Police doesn't wish to share any information about this case. Do you remember six years ago? Sudden killings started to happen, dead bodies appearing in different locations, and the authorities were worried that the population of Konoha would drop to dangerously low standards. It was a dark time."
"Yes, truly horrible. Now the killings are starting again and it's starting to cause a wave of fear in the Konoha community."
"Hai, you're right. It seems those years of fear are coming again." He presses his finger on his ear, a headphone hidden from the many viewers. "It seems our anchorman has the head of the police with him now. Camera is on you, Akio-san."
"Konichiwa. I'm here with Uchiha-dono. Can you give us some news that could settle our hammering hearts?"
"It seems I can't," responded the Uchiha with a frown on his face. "And please, Fugaku-san is all right with me."
"As you wish Fugaku-san, any suspects for this gruesome murder? Can you even identify the victims?"
"Sigh. I wish I could tell you all but we have no suspects what so ever. This killer is as clever as a fox. But I do warn you all to be careful. I'm going to be blunt here; any of us can be the next victim to this ghastly murderer."
I turned off the television and as the screen turned black I could see my face reflecting on the screen. I was serious, my lips shaped into a firm line, and my yellow brows furrowed. Then, out of nowhere that I even surprised myself, I smiled out of relief. "They don't suspect me at all!" I said while stretching my limbs. I felt incredibly happy. I could go on with my killings till I feel content then I'll stop for a while. One year? Two? Three? I shrugged, responding to my own question, and moved to grab my worn out satchel. After all, it is I who controls their lives, not them. I locked my apartment and walked leisurely to my school. To occupy myself from here to the prison I thought about my little…activity I did last night. I smiled; to anyone else they would've thought that I smiled because of the nice weather but they were wrong. Completely wrong. What I enjoyed the best, though, was scrapping off the skin from their faces. Oh, sweet blood and screams.
I entered the grounds of my school and I couldn't help but smile some more. With every glance of a student a thought never crossed their minds: that their fellow classmate, Uzumaki Naruto, is the sole responsible reason for the deaths of multiple people in Konoha and I'll like to keep it that way. My killings were sly, undetected, yet I made sure that the world would see the results of my power: a warning to all that there is a god within them.
I slipped off my sneakers and placed the don school slippers while simultaneously putting my street shoes in their rightful place. I had a choice of attending high school. It was a drag finishing my junior high school year and I seriously considered stopping my education there but I changed my mind when something started to tickle my insides, something that I've never felt before. I was curious and that drove me to follow the cause of this confusion which led me to apply to this high school. Do I regret it? Immensely so. But will I stop? No, I will not.
I grabbed my satchel and threw it over my shoulder, my hand gripping the strap. I walked to my classroom, knowing that my friends tended to be there in the mornings. I walked leisurely, knowing that I'll be scolded for being late but did I give a crap? No, I didn't. Sometimes I would question myself on to why I should still be friends with them. I'm dangerous, yes, and maybe I could snap at them at any given moment but what stopped me? Don't look at me, because I don't even know the answer. They do piss me off, however, to the point where I'll be glad to throw a sharp object on their neck and watch them drown on their own blood. Sometimes they forget that they're in a presence of a Kami, a god, and they should be honored that I've saved their lives. Of course, they don't know that I'm a god because they'll demand an explanation. So what's the point of them being there? What's the point of them being in my life?
I stopped my train of thought, feeling the blood lust surge through me. My many classmates whispered as I stood frozen in the hallway. It's true that I have no affectionate emotion towards my group of friends but that doesn't mean that I should kill them right? The thought of it, however, brought different emotions. I felt pride, power, and superiority but on the other hand, my chest started to constrict and my eyes began to sting. Why? Did I want to kill them? I'm starting to doubt myself and I shouldn't be. I sighed and kicked imaginary dust.
"Why is Uzumaki-san standing there?" I looked to the side and glared dangerously to a group of girls. They gasped and scrambled away.
"Oi, Naruto, why you over there, baka?" I growled lowly before masking it quickly. I saw Kiba grinning wildly and waving his hand. People tended to compare us, saying that if it wasn't for our hair color we could've been twins. Bastards, I look nothing like that buffoon.
A smirk grew on my face and I felt an emotion I subconsciously try to push down.
"Yeah? Baka, look at yourself! Screaming like a crazy idiot!" I yelled while running towards him.
It was bound to happen.
I smacked him on the head and he growled and punched me on my shoulder.
"Oh yeah? Well, you're screaming too idiot!"
"Shut up! Kami, I didn't get my beauty sleep and don't you dare start again—!"
"I'm not an idiot! Don't you dare call me that dog-breath!"
"Don't call me dog-breath, blondie!"
"Why'd call me?!"
"Did I stutter?"
Sakura was too quick for the both of us. She smacked us both, making us crumble to the floor.
"You guys are already causing a commotion!" I massaged my head and glared at the floor. I loved these little fights I have with my friends. It makes me feel normal.
Normal…
"Anyway, Hinata's coming right now Kiba so maybe you shouldn't fight with Naruto."
I cocked an eyebrow while standing up. "Why'd you say that, Sakura?"
Sakura sighed and looked at her nails. "I'm not telling you. Anyway, I'll be waiting inside for Sasuke-kun. I'm sure he's coming back from the restroom." With that, Sakura slid the door open, closing it with a slam.
"What did she mean when she said that you shouldn't fight me, Kiba?"
Kiba had a frown, two bruises already forming, but when his head snapped up to look at me, a large smirk was planted on his face. "How should I know?"
I narrowed my eyes but then looked around noticing the lack of friends. "Where's everyone anyway?"
"Well, Ino already left with Shikamaru and Chouji. Neji was challenged by Lee, again, and Tenten dragged them to the courtyard before they destroy the wall…again." Ah, I remembered that.
"It seems that Naruto's already here." I sighed, hearing Shino's monotone voice.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Why don't you try to, I don't know, add a bit of emotion to your voice Shino?"
Shino adjusted his dark glasses and replied, "Same to you Uzumaki."
"Ano, maybe you shouldn't fight, Shino-kun…" Hinata said, coming out of her hiding space behind Shino.
There it goes again. Every time I would see my friend, a small glowing fire would start to build within my soul and I was used to it because it's been happening for years. But every god damn time I saw Hinata; the sparks of glowing fire would grow and grow, brighter and warmer. It always filled my entire being and it would always leave my mind hazy. Why? Why the fucking god would this happen to me? It's been going on for years but it's been getting more intense with every passing fucking day. Why? Why?
Hinata glanced at me before smiling, something shy and reserved, before glancing down, a blush painting her pale cheeks. "Ohayogozaimasu, Naruto-kun."
"Ah…" Suddenly I was speechless. Her voice…was it always this soft? "Uh…o-ohayo…" I heard a snicker and I turned to see Kiba and Shino walking away from us. A sudden nervousness washed over me. Why the hell did they leave us alone? Didn't they know how dangerous I am? What if I say something she might not like? Hinata has been my friend for years now so why would something as a simple as a one-to-one conversation would make me nervous?
"Ano…" I scratched my cheek, suddenly afraid that I'll make a fool of myself but Hinata knows me well, so why am I worrying? "How—how are you, Hinata? Hope Shino didn't damage you in anyway way."
"Eh? Why would Shino-kun damage me in anyway?"
"Well, he's Shino…he's so…" I paused, "weird."
Hinata laughed and a tinkling sensation started to spread in my stomach. My heart fluttered and I began to laugh too. "It's true, though, right?"
"Shino-kun's a nice person, Naruto-kun. H-He's your friend too…"
"Guess so…" The bell ringed and I sighed, suddenly feeling disappointed.
"Ano, Naruto-kun?"
Our eyes locked and I felt warmth dust my cheeks. My hands got clammy and my heart started to beat a bit faster. I was breathless. Her eyes; they were the color of light lavender and it changed depending on the lighting of a room. Sometimes it'll be a nice shade of silver and other times it'll be a light gray. But now, those lavender pupils less eyes made me fall in—
What.
What was I just…?
"I have to go o-or I'll be late." She smiled. Quickly, she took my hands with her own and I noted how sweaty her hands were too. I wonder why. "Naruto-kun, remember that you're…that you're s-sunshine to everyone, okay?" With those departing words, Hinata left, her shy, dazzling smile the only thing left in my mind.
Class has started a few minutes ago but I stopped paying attention when the teacher said to read so and so chapter and take notes. As if I will. Instead I leaned back on my chair and glanced outside. It was a particularly warm day with the right amount of cool breeze that we won't get dehydrated. It was, to say, a nice day. But was it really? Instead of being in class, I should have been planning out my next victim, like these idiots in my classroom. I could easily take their lives away.
A tinkling laughter filled my mind.
I sighed. My blood lust was being replaced with that emotion that led me to apply here and it all led to Hyuuga Hinata. It's the same as always. I will begin to plot my new victims' death when suddenly I'll remember the previous conversation I had with her or the smile she'll show to me. Sometimes I'll remember when we were small. We were outcasts, Hinata and I, starting from the very beginning. She was the new kid that moved to Konohagakure and she was a shy one to boot. I was the orphan kid who tried to gain attention but never managed to get it. I remembered it clearly. I managed to become friends with Kiba who then introduced me to his group of friends. I was happy. What more can a lonely kid ask for? I was having the time of my life and Hinata was seen in the park two weeks after I was introduced. She was sitting by this large tree; it had an odd color of leaves. Some were orange while others were pink and green. I've noticed her for a while now but decided not to say a damn thing because I was afraid I'll lose my friends. But then I was reminded of the situation I was once in and the loneliness I felt. I marched right up to her with the traditional Uzumaki grin and asked, "Wanna play with us?" I will never forget how her whole face lit up with a bright blush and her eyes widened with concealed happiness and shyness. "H-Hai!" We became fast friends and, even though I regret many things in my life, I will never ever regret having Hinata in my life.
The bell rung and I jumped, startled out of my memories.
"Oi, Naruto." I looked to the side to see Sasuke frowning with a curious looking Sakura behind him. "Why are you blushing?"
I had no idea why.
Lunch came, rather slowly, I thought bitterly. I was so relieved when I heard that the police couldn't find any of my traces that I completely forgot about eating god damn breakfast. My stomach growled once more and I frowned, smacking the growling monster. It was a tradition for our group of friends, known as the "Rookie 12", to eat at my classroom during lunch. It wasn't because the classroom was the closest to the courtyard but because it was the only one with a working air conditioner.
What a bummer for the other classes.
I watched as all my friends grabbed multiple desks and placed them near each other. Ino would usually sit in between Shikamaru and Chouji, considering they've been inseparable since kids, and it gave her the perfect opportunity to scold Shikamaru when he doesn't eat but sleeps instead and placing a bento after bento for Chouji. Since Ino sat behind Sakura's assigned seat, the cherry blossom girl would simple sit sideways to talk to her friend while eating her bento. Sadly, Sasuke wasn't far from the very talkative girls. He sat right next to Sakura and right in front of me. I looked to the left and saw a serious Neji; his bento already emptied and sealed closed with his chopsticks on top, listening to a speech from Lee—a rather youthful speech—who was trashing up the area and Tenten just sighed, her yakisoba-pan nearly finished.
I jumped when a hand clamped my shoulder and I turned to my right to glare at a grinning Kiba. Shino was right behind him and Hinata was sliding the door closed. Rather rudely, Kiba just left, deciding that a talk with Lee about a future spar was better than talking to me. Shino simply adjusted his glasses and mumbled a greeting and left as well. What the hell was wrong with them? I saw as Hinata approached me slowly and her eyes flickered to her best friends, a hint of worry swimming in her eyes, before looking at me. Our eyes clashed once again and I saw as her face turned crimson. I cocked an eyebrow and ignored the fact that her blushing face made me feel that hot sensation in my stomach. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I left my apartment quickly and forget to get some money for my lunch. It started off as a good day and now it's ending horribly. How can I live without food? A scrapping of a metal made me peek to my right and I saw as Hinata dragged a desk towards me. All the while, her eyes never left the floor and her cheeks stayed a permanent red color. I raised an eyebrow when the desk was settled beside me and she sat quickly. She reached for her satchel, again avoiding my eyes, and took out a sizeable bento. She looked at me and then looked at the bento. I cocked my head and watched as she pushed the bento towards me.
I couldn't believe that she just did that. Why? I just stared at the bento, as if it'll give me all the answers to my questions, and I stopped breathing for a moment. Even though I had many friends, no one has ever shown this kind of kindness to me. No one has willingly gone out of their way to make something for me and even though it was just a bento, it was for me. It was something Hinata took her time to do and I'll be damned if I didn't take it.
"I-I-I made this for you, Naruto-kun. I-I hope you like it!" Hinata bowed her head, her hair blocking her face. I couldn't understand the emotions I was feeling right now. I felt pure happiness, warmth that made my palms sweaty and my face heat up. I felt nervousness, my fingers twitching ever so slightly and making me scratch the back of my head. Then, I felt tunnel vision, everything else was blocked out and I saw only Hinata. The way her hair contrasted her pale skin, her index fingers poking each other while averting her eyes everywhere else—afraid of something—and her cheeks rosy, a healthy and beautiful color. Why is this happening? Hinata…what have you done to me.
Noticing that I haven't answered, I quickly scrambled for one. "A-Ah, arigatou, I-I'm sure I'll like it!" I meant more than those few words but I couldn't think of another way to show my gratitude. There was no way I could show how much this meant to me. "Itadakimasu!" I grabbed the chopsticks and opened the bento only to be attacked by a mouthwatering aroma. I dug in as if I've never eaten before and in between bits I would complement Hinata with a goofy smile and a mouth full of food. She'll laugh, a hand covering her wide smile, and I'll smile before returning to my food. After I was done, I still complemented her. I would babble on and on about everything and anything. It was an amazing feat but I never stopped because suddenly I wanted to keep talking to her forever. I wanted to hear her when she gives out her thoughts to my amazing stories and hear her laugh when I tell a stupid joke. I want that.
We kept talking till the bell rung and I felt disappointment rise within me. Everyone moved their desks back to their original place and I helped Hinata moved hers. She smiled and said her thanks. Before she left, I told her with a wide smile, "Thanks for the food, Hinata! It was really good!" Hinata blushed and was pushed out by a grinning Kiba and a serious Shino. I sighed, coldness washing over me.
"Oi, dobe."
I twitched and sighed. I turned around and glared at Sasuke. "What do you want, Sasuke-teme?"
Sasuke smirked and sat down right when the teacher walked in. "There you go blushing again, dobe."
I burped; the taste of Hinata's food made my mouth water and reminded me of today's afternoon exchanged between Hinata and me. I double checked to see if I locked my door and went to lock the windows in my apartment. I finished off the last of my homework and went on to take a shower. The water was warm, and for once, I didn't imagine myself bathing in the blood of my victims. The only thing I imagined was Hinata's shy smiles and her voice that kept ringing in my ears. It was a blur from there, my mind replaying today's lunch over and over again. Once I successfully changed and fell on my bed, I left my mind to wonder more and more about Hinata. Today I almost confessed in my mind but why was I about to say that one word that held a strong meaning? I was denying it, and I knew it, but I refused to let myself acknowledge it. I wouldn't let myself be a danger to Hinata. If anything was to happen to her and somehow her blood would stain my hands, I will never forgive myself. That'll be the day I'll end my life as well.
I can acknowledge that she means more than anything else to me and I'll do anything to make her happy but to actually have her in my life more than a friend? I just can't. A sudden ache in my chest made me gasp and I pushed a palm down, thinking that it'll soothe my pain. But it didn't. The more I thought about it, the more I felt vulnerable and tears descended down my cheeks. I don't have that privilege of making Hinata mine. I'm a monster, a destructible force not to be reckoned with. I'm unpredictable, unstable, uncaring, so why the sudden pain? Why do I suddenly want a love with Hinata?
I won't be with her.
I woke up early the next day, my eyes swollen from last night's crying. I stared at myself in the mirror and rubbed my face, splashing cold water to wake myself up a bit more. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I didn't like the fact that I was so sentimental about Hinata but who was to blame? Not her. It's not her fault that she's beautiful and nice, and that she's just so amazing in my eyes. I dressed in my school uniform and ate a cup ramen. I grabbed my satchel and left my apartment. I was sad, I can tell, but I could do nothing but keep on going with a fake smile on my face. The desire to kill didn't intrigue me in that moment so I distracted myself with the weather around me and how close I was approaching my school.
I entered the school grounds and switched my shoes for the slippers. I checked the clock to see it was just turning seven thirty. A few students were already here but I was disappointed to see none of my friends were there yet. I was hoping to talk to them to distract myself but life can't even give me that.
"Ohayo Ino. Why are you here so early?"
I perked up upon hearing Sakura's voice and I was about to turn the corner to greet Ino and her when the next news stopped me in my tracks.
"Ah, ohayo Saku-chan, I have some news for you," purred out Ino. "It's about Hinata."
"Eh!" Sakura gasped.
I pressed my body against the wall, hoping that they won't notice me.
"Hai, hai! Our Hyuuga-hime found herself an ouji-sama!"
"No way! Who is it? Who is it?!"
"Oi, oi, I thought your gossiping days were over!"
"Yeah, but this is Hinata. Who is it, Ino?"
"Shinpuru-kun."
"No, that can't be!"
"Right, he's the star athlete of the soccer team and just the dream guy of every girl in this school. I heard that he asked out Hinata a few days ago and she has yet to respond!"
"But Ino, did you forget about…" Sakura's voice lowered a bit, "Hinata's crush on Naruto?"
My eyes widened and my heart started to beat erratically. She has a crush on me? My mouth went dry and I was dumbfounded. Who knew?
"Ah, well Naruto-baka doesn't show any interest to our poor Hinata. Maybe Shinpuru-kun would be good for her."
"You're right, Ino. Poor Hinata though. She's going to have to forget all about Naruto…" With that, the best friends left the hallway.
I was left frozen in my spot. Who would have thought that Hinata would like me? She didn't even know my true nature, how dangerous I am, and how powerful I can get if I'm not careful. She doesn't know that any given moment I can snap her neck like a twig and crush her without a second thought. Didn't she know that? If she knew then she'll forget about me and she'll call me a monster. That thought alone brought a fresh wave of pain to my chest. Discovering that she had feelings for me was probably the biggest shock I have ever received in my sixteen years of living.
Hinata has a crush on me…
Suddenly I remembered something. "I heard that he asked out Hinata a few days ago and she has yet to respond." Someone asked her out…
Someone asked out Hinata to be their girlfriend…
Meaning that she'll be someone else's…
A dark fire started to build up in the pit of my stomach making my blood lust flow more quickly. I gripped my hands tightly, loving the way my nails dug into my skin. I smirked, an idea popping into my head. With the anger fueling me, I proceeded on to Hinata's classroom. It was still early and I knew Hinata always arrived an hour or so early to prepare herself for class. I stomped my feet, eager to arrive there as soon as possible. I had an idea, it was stupid I knew, but I couldn't think of anything else. Just the idea of Hinata no longer being in my life as more than a friend because she was someone else's made my blood boil. My idea wasn't thought through but when have I ever planned something out? Plus, drastic times called for drastic measures and that's exactly what I'm planning to do.
I saw Hinata's classroom and I quickly slid the door opened. Hinata was organizing papers on her desk when her head snapped up to see me. Her eyes widened before she straightened herself.
"Ohayogozaimasu Naruto-kun. W-Why—how can I help you?" She asked and I forced myself to smile.
"Ohayo, Hinata-chan, I just wanted to ask you something." I dropped my satchel and slid the door closed.