Notes: Trigger warning (rape)! Please, please don't read if you think this will affect you in a bad way. R to NC-17-rating. The time-frame is undefined, early seasons-ish (definitely before London). This will be a multipart story, but still quite short.

Prologue

It is not that the pain is immense, but it is there, nagging and raw.

Chandler closes the door carefully behind him and locks it, surprising himself with how steady his hands are as he turns the key around in the lock. He exhales carefully, quietly, because it is 4:32 in the morning and Joey is most probably sleeping off the fever from the flu he had caught a couple of days ago.

mocking laughter turns into a horrifying, silent intensity and he can barely think but the feeling of humiliation is still overwhelming

Chandler shakes his head, feels something in his chest tighten. He forces himself to breathe steadily and walks, with only a slight limp, into his room. He grabs his pajamas from the bed and moves into the bathroom with a panicked urgency. He can't bear to look in the mirror, instead undressing directly and stepping into the shower.

the bodies pressed up against him makes his heart race with claustrophobic anxiety but his arms feel numb and he can't move

There is something-of course he knows what it is-smeared and dried over the back of his thighs; even more along his jaw and throat, along with dried saliva. The hot water easily washes these things away, but he finds that it doesn't actually help. He feels like a walking cliche, but it turns out that showering actually doesn't fucking help.

His anger, even if it is only expressed in his own mind, surprises him. The emotion seeps out as fast as it had surfaced. It is replaced by an odd feeling, impossible to describe, but it makes his heart race until his throat is hurting. It is like his heart is trying to force its way up and away from his body.

rhythmic movements, the smell and taste of sweat and something much more stale in his throat

Oddly disoriented, Chandler stays in the shower for what must be at least half-an-hour, until his skin is red from the heat of the water and his heartbeat finally slows down.