"You lost Excalibur?" Arthur stares in utter shock at Merlin who doesn't look the least bit ashamed at his latest display of incompetence.

"Not exactly. It's not lost if I know where it is right?"

"If you know where it is then why is it missing from my scabbard?"

Merlin scratches his head and smiles sheepishly, signs that only serve to increase Arthur's dread. "I know where it is. That's the problem."

"Lance, I told you several times that I'm not going to that costume party. Firstly, it's being hosted by that arrogant, selfish rich brat Arthur and secondly, I -"

"I know Gwen. Why are you bringing it up?" Lance sips his coffee gracefully (he seems to do everything gracefully, making Gwen feel like quite the klutz around him) as he curls one hand over hers. "I said I'd go alone didn't I?"

"Then what is with the sword?"

"Sword? What sword?"

Gwen rolls her eyes and stomps off to her room to retrieve the sword. Swinging it at him, she says, "This one. The one you put on my bed."

"Hey! Be careful with that!" Lance jumps up from his seat and backs into a corner, hands raised. "Where did you get it? Because that isn't from me."

Arthur watches Merlin suspiciously as he chants in some foreign language over a pool of water. Eventually Merlin finishes and turns to Arthur expectantly.

"Why don't you jump in first?" To aid Merlin, Arthur shoves him in the direction of the pool.

"Why don't we jump in together?"

"Fine. No, I'm not holding your hand!" Arthur shoves Merlin again. He figures after his latest nonsense - losing his precious sword - Merlin deserves all the shoving he gets. "Did you tell Gwen?"

Merlin shrugs. "I just said we were going on a quest. I didn't want to worry her."

"Should I be worried?"

"No."

Arthur sighs, not believing Merlin one bit. Merlin is a habitual liar and Arthur quickly learnt to take everything Merlin says with a lot of salt. "Fine. On the count of three?"

Merlin nods.

Lance is examining the sword when Gwen hears the noises. There's a splash, some spluttering and then hushed whispers.

"Do you hear that?" She is whispering too. Her eyes land on the sword and she grabs it. At least it would come in useful. "I think it's coming from the bathroom."

Lance looks around. "You stay here. I'll go check it out."

"Don't be silly." Ignoring Lance's attempt at chivalry (he must have been a knight in his past life - just yesterday he wanted to lay his coat on the ground so she wouldn't get her shoes muddy. It was the most ridiculous thing Gwen had ever heard.), Gwen creeps towards the bathroom. Lance follows behind.

She places her hand on the knob, takes a deep breath and opens the door.

"Gwen!"

"Excalibur!"

"What the hell?"

For a moment, she and Lance stare at the two dripping wet men standing in her bathroom. They stare back at her.

Gwen finds her voice first. "You're flooding my bathroom."

Arthur likes this world. It has Gwen, really fluffy towels and oddly appealing drinks. He takes another sip of this "coffee" drink.

"Are you sure you won't take off your armour? It might rust." Gwen asks. She is standing a distance away, frowning at them. Lance hovers protectively. Arthur doesn't like that much.

"Arthur never removes his armour. Wears it to everything. He seems to think it's suitable for all occasions."

"Shut up." He turns to Gwen who is still staring warily at him. "Like Merlin here says, I'm Arthur, King of Camelot and that's my sword, Excalibur. You look amazingly like my wife, although I understand that's how all these parallel worlds work. There are versions of us all over."

"And you two look amazingly like Lance's ass of a boss and his personal assistant." She rubs her forehead and turns to Lance. "This isn't really happening right? It's a dream or a hallucination. Parallel worlds?"

Lance rubs her back and Arthur glares at him. This may not be his real wife, but that doesn't mean he likes seeing this world's Lancelot touching her. "I'm not sure myself. It's really strange." He looks at them and asks, "So if I have it right - you two are from another world and somehow your sword got thrown into this world. And you're here to retrieve it."

Merlin nods. "That's about it. So if you'll pass us the sword, we'll be on our way."

Arthur suppresses a growl as he watches Lance and Gwen whisper to each other. Finally, they seem to come to a decision. Carefully, Gwen picks up the sword and passes it over to him. He wraps his fingers around the hilt and sighs with pleasure at the feel of it in his hand. Only Gwen feels better than Excalibur in his hands.

"Thank you! We'll be off now." Merlin grins as he drops the towel Gwen gave him on the table and gets up. Arthur follows suit and they head back to the bathroom.

Gwen and Lance follow at a distance and peer at them from the doorway.

"Huh. I just had a thought."

"Merlin -"

"I'm not quite sure how to go back."

There are two strange men who look uncannily like two men she knows standing in her bathroom, quarreling with each other. Gwen wonders when she entered the rabbit hole.

"Is there a problem?" Lance asks.

Arthur, the one who keeps smiling at her and looking at her as if she's the most precious thing ever, replies, "Yes. Merlin here doesn't quite know how to take us home."

"It's not like I don't have any idea. I just need a bit of time." Merlin grumbled. "Maybe if you didn't stand here and breathe down my neck, I'd be faster."

"Maybe we should leave Merlin alone and sit outside? I believe you have some biscuits Gwen?" Lance suggests, his eyes darting from Merlin to Gwen.

The three of them sit around her small kitchen table in silence. No one eats the biscuits. Not that she blames them since they look more like elephant dung than biscuits. That will be the last time she attempts baking.

All Arthur does is stare at her while Lance stares at Arthur staring at her. She has no idea where to look, especially when Arthur is too close to her and his arm keeps brushing against her, causing goosebumps to rise.

"I guess there is an Arthur in your world too?"

"He's my boss at Penn Holdings."

She can't help herself. "And an ass."

It's slightly surprising when Arthur laughs. It's a rich, warm laugh and she feels shivers run down her spine. What is wrong with her? Lance must have noticed her reaction because he slings an arm across her shoulder and pulls her to him. She shrugs him off. She hates it when he acts like she's his property.

"Why am I not surprised?" Arthur is still smiling. "Hopefully, he'll grow up." He pauses, sobering up a little. "He might need your help for that."

Lance's arm is back around her shoulder and she pinches his thigh. "Me?" Her voice is a squeak and she almost feels embarrassed.

"The Gwen from my world was a lot of help." A soft smile flits across his face and for some unfathomable reason, she wonders what it would be like to have Arthur smile like that at her.

Lance clears his throat. "Gwen hates Arthur." There's a slight tension between the three of them and Gwen almost laughs at how absurd it is.

Thankfully, Merlin bursts from the bathroom, a grin on his face. "I did it! Let's go. Gwen will be worrying by now. Gwen back home - not you."

Arthur stands and bows. Like the knight he was dressed as, he lifts her hand and presses a kiss to it. "Thank you for your hospitality." He turns his head and whispers before he leaves, "maybe you should give that Arthur a chance. He doesn't know it but he needs you."

She and Lance stand awkwardly in her tiny bathroom, waving as the two men jump into her bath tub and disappear.

"Imagine. Your tub is a portal to a parallel universe." Lance says wonderingly as he stares at the empty tub.

"Imagine that."

His wife is in his arms, Excalibur safe in his room and he is in heaven.

"Tell me about this Gwen in the other world."

"I only spent about an hour with her. She looks like you. You're more gorgeous of course."

Gwen sighs. "I'm fat."

"You're pregnant. I believe there's a difference. Anyway, I'm feeling sorry for that Arthur though. It seems like that Gwen hates him. I can't imagine a world in which you hate me."

Gwen pushes herself away from him and cups his face. "Lucky you. You won't ever have to experience that."

Lance is busy networking at the party so Gwen decides to take in some fresh air on the balcony. The view is spectacular but that is to be expected when you are as rich as the Pendragons. Tilting her head, she stares up at the sky, wondering about the parallel universe her strange guests came from.

"Makes you feel small doesn't it?"

Startled, she turns to see Arthur standing behind her.

"Arthur." Her heart is pounding. It never did this before when she met him.

"Guinevere. It's nice to see you again."

She says nothing. The last time they met, she had given him a piece of her mind about his decision to reduce funding to the local women's shelter she volunteered at.

"Surely you're not still angry with me." He moves so he is standing next to her. "Not only did I not reduce funding, I am also donating one of my buildings to the shelter so they can have somewhere bigger and better to operate from. And you know the decision to cut funding was my father's not mine."

"Yes, but you stood by and let him do it."

"I did but you showed me that I was wrong to do that. Thank you for that."

She looks at him and remembers the other Arthur's words.

"How about a dance?" He offers his hand.

She takes it.

AN: An old short fic while I write more pirates! :D