Chapter 4: Contradictions

Life: The period between the birth and death of a living thing, especially a human being.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Naruto.

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"Hello Kimiko-san. Do you know where Itachi is?"

She does not startle from the sudden voice and instead lifts her head up to face the man standing on her porch.

Shisui Uchiha. Another conundrum for her to ponder.

"I thought I told you this already, just Kimiko is fine." Kimiko corrects before answering him, "I believe Itachi is away on another mission. He should be back sometime tomorrow."

"I see." A couple heartbeats of silence pass as his face twists into a more thoughtful expression, "Are you busy today?"

She shakes her head. For once everything was taken care of. With no high ranking missions rolling in and a proper amount of Jonin at his call, as Hiruzen had put it, there had been no need for her today. "No, it's my day off."

"Would you like to join me then?"

Kimiko blinks at the unexpected invitation before shaking her head again. "I'm quite alright. I'm afraid I'd just be boring company."

Shisui gives her a playful grin. "You really think you could do worse than your brother? Come on, I know a good dango place."

Her expression takes an amused turn. "We're not identical you know."

"So that's a no?"

Kimiko pauses to give herself another moment to consider her asker. This was Shisui of the Body Flicker, Itachi's best friend and inciter of his mangekyo. The man who fought for peace and the village, even if it meant disappearing into the shadows. This was the man willing to betray his own morals for the village, killed by a man who would do the very same.

This was Shisui Uchiha and to put it simply, he was very, very important.

Kimiko rises from her seat, brushing the imaginary dust off her pants. "Well, I suppose it'd be rude to turn down such an insisting man."

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He takes her to one of Itachi's favorite traditional cafés. However, she is already familiar with the shop for it's the same place Itachi takes Kimiko to all the time.

They spend the rest of the day exchanging jokes and stories, mainly about her brother, while browsing through the bustling streets of Konoha.

His presence is calming and distracting. It reminds her of being around Haru.

Kimiko isn't sure how to feel about this.

But in the jumble of emotions she's feeling, she knows one is contentment.

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It's a cold Tueday morning when the rain decides to impinge hard down upon the earth and she shivers as a particular gust of wind nips at her skin, her other hand tightening on the bundle of flowers.

A puff of hot air escapes her lips as she draws the two ends of her coat closer together. What a day to visit.

Kimiko's eyes flutter silently in surprise when a silver-haired man crosses her view. Not because he is here, but because he is here without any form of protection. He has no jacket, no coat, and no umbrella. Her footsteps falter and she stares at the lonely man who appears trapped by the haunting names in front of him.

He doesn't acknowledge her when she places the flowers in front of the stone respectfully nor when she repositions her umbrella to rest between her jaw and shoulder. It isn't until she pulls out a scroll and bites her thumb that he glances over to see what she is doing.

"Here." Her arm is extended out to him, a small black umbrella now in its grasps.

He shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"It's not really optional."

The gaze is still curious but also questioning. "Even if I've already politely declined?"

"Especially because of that." She replies nonchalantly with a shrug before jerking the spare umbrella towards him again.

"No thank you, I'm fine." He insists and although he does his best to hide, she can see that she's annoying him which is fine because in all honesty, he's annoying her too.

Frustration starts to bubble in her chest and she can't stop herself from frowning. She can't stop herself from reaching out and forcing the umbrella into his open palm either. "There's no need for sick shinobi so keep this until next time."

"And why would I do that?"

"It'd be rather rude to throw away a borrowed item, don't you think?"

And with that she turns to walk away, leaving his lone, curious eye to stare after her.

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She places the large pot carefully on the table and her head automatically turns to the sound of a door clicking open.

"Kimiko-nee?" Naruto asks, baffled that she's in his home.

"Hello Naruto-kun!"

Everything looks different. The house is clean and polished. Potted plants decorate the room and there's even a small, newly added bookcase filled to the brim with books. He can see the insides of the fridge as she pulls out a bottle of juice and there's all different kinds of foods like fruits and vegetables. There's even some sort of pie in there too.

She's gotten rid of his old, rusted kettle in place of a shiny new black one. By the looks of it she's sentenced all his old pots and pans to the same fate as well.

Everything looks brighter somehow.

"I made a hotpot for lunch!" Kimiko announces cheerfully as if this is normal and absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary.

"How'd you get inside?" He asks, still trying to register the fact that she's in his home.

Kimiko laughs and winks at him. "I'm a ninja."

There's a pause of silence and he isn't sure what to say until she smiles at him warmly.

"Welcome back, Naruto-chan."

It's a miracle he doesn't cry but instead beams at her before running up into her open arms.

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The atmosphere is warm and homey as she fills his bowl with way too many vegetables, ignoring his grumbles of protest.

"I may not be able to treat you to ramen for a while. My wallet's a little empty now." Kimiko laughs in her apology.

He shakes his head in refusal. "That's okay, this is the best gift ever, Kimiko-nee!"

"Make sure the food doesn't go to waste then. Especially, the vegetables."

"Eh! But the vegetables are the worst part!"

"Alright then half."

"Ok!"

His smile is definitely contagious Kimiko thinks as she mimics it with ease.

Every child, especially this one, deserves to be able to hear the words "welcome back".

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Danzo.

Sometimes she thinks of the man who must die, the man who must burn and whither away until he is nothing more than a rumor.

Burn... burn... burn.

It really was no wonder that Sasuke had such a hard time letting go. It was unthinkable to forget anger like this.

Danzo's death was a necessity, no matter who told her otherwise, and given the proper timing she intended to act on it. He was a dangerous man with twisted morals. There was too much he was responsible for, too much he was going to be responsible for. She didn't care whether it was for the sake of the village or not. To alienate her clan, to force suffering upon her brothers, to send his goons after her team and-

Kozu-sensei's body is burning.

ikuro's is burning too.

His eyes are in her sockets.

Her legs buckle and she stumbles backwards until a sharp pain collides with her lower back. Her hands scramble to grab the kitchen counter behind her and suddenly breathing in a steady rhythm no longer seems to be an optional ability. Her legs tremble in strain of keeping herself upright she can feel the rest of her body follow in pursuit of the action.

Kimiko barely has enough time to throw on a fake smile when Naruto looks up from his homework.

"I'm fine Naruto, it's just a little chilly."

Burn, burn, burn.

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It becomes a nearly daily routine to see him amongst the rows of stones.

"You should take your umbrella back."

"Keep it. You never know when another rainy day may come." She replies.

Because the rain was always destined to come.

That's the only time they fill the silence before parting ways.

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The day is silent and boring as she sits through another clan meeting, pretending to look attentive.

All the Uchiha seem to be proud of her, when her father announces that their heiress is going to join Anbu soon. More accurately, they are proud of the spy she will become. She finds it hard to reciprocate the feeling.

Kimiko tunes her father out and gazes distractedly around the meeting room, only pausing when she meets another pair of eyes.

These eyes are furious, hateful, and still hiding grief. They seem to send a silent question across the room.

Why was she alive?

She numbly registers the fact that these are the eyes of Ikuro's father.

There's a sudden weight in her chest and she's reminded that these eyes aren't hers.

She's reminded that she's a thief.

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Kimiko's come to learn a lot about Shisui since their first meeting. Like the fact that he was thirteen and lives alone, exactly eight houses away from hers. He enjoys teasing her and excels at keeping the mood light, especially when she fails to.

Most noticeably, she's come to learn exactly what Itachi had once seen in Naruto. Their devotion, their feelings, their wills. In the sense of emotions, the two of them were undeniably similar. In fact, being around either of them was kind of like being around the sun, so much so that Kimiko can't help but feeling like an out of place shadow.

"What do you think of the village?"

Kimiko glances over and frowns ever so slightly at the inquiry.

"What kind of question is that?"

"The curious kind."

One of the other things she's come to notice about Shisui is his frequent enjoyment of questions like these. The intriguing and information delving kind, masked under a facade of carefree harmlessness.

Kimiko doesn't take the testing to heart for she knows she would do the same if she didn't already know a vast majority of this world's lives. After all, it was important to know someone's ideals and character, especially amongst the Uchiha at times like these.

A puff of air escapes through her nose and she almost ruins her pondering expression with an early smile. It was no wonder Shisui and her brother had been so drawn to each other. Genius and awareness, even in their clan, was near impossible to find as uniquely as this.

Kimiko tilts the corner of her mouth up fondly. "It could use some work. However, it's still my home. I'm proud to call Konoha my village and serve under Hiruzen-sama."

Shisui reciprocates with a warm smile. "I see."

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The antiseptic smell of the hospital is enough to send her skin crawling but she tries to reassure herself. She won't be here long. It's just a quick in-and-out.

"When's your lunch break?"

Haru blinks up from his clipboard, his feet swiveling the chair towards her. "...twenty minutes."

"Perfect. I'll be at the front." She replies, giving him little to no time to respond before disappearing from the hospital's work room. How she got past all the official workers, he doesn't want to know.

True to her word however, when the clock strikes noon she is outside the front door with two little lunch boxes resting in each arm.

"So I hear you're currently a junior resident. How's the work? Tiresome?" Kimiko prompts curiously as he takes a seat next to her on the bench.

The question pulls the exact trigger Kimiko was looking for as Haru quickly descends into a tirade, one that is particularly aimed at his minimal hours of sleep and the new interns who can't pay attention.

Kimiko listens along attentatively and it becomes easy for both of them to pretend like this isn't the first time they've really talked ot each other in five months. It's probably not as healthy but it is sure as hell is easier.

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"Thank you for your work, Kimiko-san."

"Of course hokage-same. I'll be taking my leave now."

She doesn't make it far to the tower's exit when the sound of laughter fills her ears.

Her footsteps slow to a halt and Kimiko finds herself glancing down at the large group of children who run and play as though there is no tomorrow.

Some part of her envies them, for they are young and innocent and so naive.

The other part of her pities them instead. They are children who will grow and soon realize the cruel realities of this world.

And she can only consider them lucky if it doesn't destroy them.

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The first time Kimiko ever makes an uncalculated mistake is when her father approaches her before, just as she's finishing her last cup of tea.

"Kimiko, there's something I need to discuss with you." Fugaku announces, taking the seat across from her at their dining room table.

The hand loosely gripping her cup lowers before she replies curiously. "Is there something wrong, father?"

"Some of the clan has recently taken notice that you've been visiting the jinchuriki-"

"Naruto."

"Pardon?"

"His name is Naruto." Kimiko repeats again, keeping the correction in a casual tone, "And yes, I've been watching over him lately."

Her father clears his throat uncomfortably. "...Right. Anyways, as they've taken notice, the elders have recommended that you begin-"

"I will not." Kimiko interrupts calmly once more, placing her tea cup all the way down this time.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said I will not." Her voice hardens, feeling her lips turn into a sneer at her father's confusion and the gall of the elders. Anbu was one thing but did they really think this was a betrayal that could be done so subtly? That this could be executed so inconspicuously as to avoid reigniting implications? How foolish.

"Ignoring all other risks, the fact that stands is that child is a holder of the Kyubi and if the elders think that I'm going to allow them to make any decisions regarding him, tell them they better talk to me because he is off limits."

Silence sweeps across the room and she freezes in surprise at the uncontrolled hostility that has erupted from her. Her father stares at her with the same expression and Kimiko relocates her gaze down to the knocked over teacup, the sticky liquid slowly spreading across the table.

She's made a mistake, challenging her father and the elders in such an outright manner. How could she make such a mistake?

"Nee-chan?" A quiet and confused voice asks hesitantly.

Both their heads snap towards the voice. It's Sasuke, peering around the corner and staring at the scene as if he's not sure what to make of it. Kimiko acts first and stands up with a reassuring smile, doing her best to keep his focus off the mess in sight. "Sasuke-chan, what are you doing up out of bed?"

He squirms unsurely and looks down to the floor. "I was going to get some water when I heard you yelling. What happened?"

"I..."

"Your sister and I just had a brief disagreement over something. It's nothing to be worried about."

Kimiko takes her father's lead and offers a gentle smile. "That's right Sasuke-chan, everything's fine. We're just working things out. It's late so you should get your water and hurry back to bed, okay? Didn't you want to do shuriken training with me tomorrow morning?"

A small smile breaks out on his lips and he nods. "Mhm!"

She waits for Sasuke to walk out of sight before turning uncertainly towards her father. "Forgive me for yelling. I-"

"I'll clean it up." Her father states, already moving to get a wet cloth from the kitchen. "It's late so you should get some sleep as well."

"But-"

"I'll advise the elders of the risks. However, you must take more caution in being seen with him in public. I won't be able to keep the elder's from approaching the matter again otherwise."

Kimiko blinks once. Twice. "...Yes father. Thank you."

"Hn."

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This one doesn't even have time to scream as Kimiko slices through their body.

She looks at her soaking blade and sighs.

"Ah, it's rusty."

Her reflection no longer shakes.

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Kimiko's feet feel heavy as she wanders absentmindedly through the streets of Konoha. She's given her report to the hokage and although nothing sounds better than the thought of home, she needs a new blade.

"Greetings youthful flower! Would you care to join us?" Gai shouts out, gesturing towards their table within the dango shop where Asuma, Kurenai, and himself are sitting.

Kimiko pauses in her steps and tries her best to send an apologetic smile. "My apologies Gai-san, I don't have any money on me at the moment."

"Ah, Kimiko-chan, you can eat as much as you want as long as you pay the bill next time you and your brother come." The owner of the shop says generously, overhearing their conversation.

She shifts uneasily at Gai's overwhelming smile, trying to awkwardly return it with one of her own. "That's very kind of you...I suppose I could stay for a few rounds then."

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This village is full of such light-

Kozu-sensei is treating them to dinner as a celebration for completing their mission. They all laugh as Haru chokes on the burning hot curry he's accidentally ordered.

-and darkness.

She's washing her blood stained hands in a nearby river. Kozu-sensei's falling body still refuses to remove itself from her mind. Ikuro's eyes are still haunting her.

Happiness-

Sasuke is babbling about his day at the academy as they walk home together, Itachi being busy with his Jonin exams. Sasuke's expression turns sour at the mention of a certain noisy blonde and she laughs.

-and sadness.

Naruto is in tears again because the other kids won't let him play with them. She holds him tight as he sullies her shirt in snot.

Good-

She stands in front of Hiruzen's desk as he grants her permission to join Anbu.

-and Evil.

She knows Danzo is lurking around the darker corners of the village waiting for his chance to snatch her.

She's living in a village of contradictions.

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The constant tilting between sides is making her dizzy.

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Contradiction: Direct opposition between things compared; inconsistency.