Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I've lost count of how many eyelashes I've lost wishing for it.

Kakashi liked his genin. Really. They were cute and loud and very easy to rile up. Even Sasuke who acted like an ice cube at times, Kakashi made sure to be extra annoying for him. It was very satisfying to see their eyes full of accusation and irritation at his cheeky antics. Which was why he decided all of his genin had gotten too used to him and his antics and since a shinobi should predict the unpredictable (Don't ask him how that logic worked) they should get to know some different teachers.

Since Genma had quite spectacularly turned him down involving levelling three civilian buildings and chucking everything in a 100 feet radius at him, Genma was out. He smirked under his mask, it was a pity, he would even have given up on his ahem reading time to watch his cute team and him interact again. He couldn't even kidnap Genma anymore, he'd gotten wise and ended up bunking at Anko's. While he could get in easily, breaking into Anko's apartment was just permission for her to molest him. Something about if you could break into her house, she could break into your pants. He mulled the chances of being caught by her snakes and decided to leave Genma in peace, he deserved that after his genin team had managed to blow up his field in his face literally.

So one day as his genin kicked the grass waiting for him to arrive in about two hours and 31 minutes exactly, he shunshinned in, grabbed Sasuke and appeared behind a tree with Sasuke bundled up and gagged to avoid him spoiling his fun. Sasuke glared at him witheringly and bounced around a bit but the wire used was not the way Genma had done it and he wouldn't be able to escape. Sakura shrieked behind them about Sasuke being gone while Naruto just started to laugh. Why was he laughing? Neither Kakashi nor Sasuke knew as a team mate suddenly disappearing wasn't a laughing matter. As Sakura ran around like a Catherine wheel yelling for her precious Sasuke, Kakashi smoothly grabbed her and gave her the same treatment as Sasuke. She glared at him the way only wronged females could; he eye smiled at her and patted her head. Naruto yelling for both of his teammates was quite an amusing scene as the boy didn't even know where to look. He ran one way then another looking dreadfully confused. Kakashi decided to have some fun and stepped out.

"Naruto…why are you running around like that?"

"Sensei! You're… early!" he looked to be in shock before he put himself together, "Sakura's disappeared! ...and Sasuke too! One minute they were here dattebayo then they weren't. Does Konoha have man eating trees sensei!?"

He blinked slowly, "Maaa your team mates have both disappeared and your first reaction is that a man eating tree did it?"

Naruto looked a little sheepish and opened his mouth.

Kakashi cut him off, "They're over there Naruto, just playing a trick on you." He chuckled evilly in his head as Naruto quite trustingly presented his back to him. Sucker.

"There's no one there…Are you sure your sensing skill is working properly sensei?"

Kakashi scooped him up under one arm and walked off reading his book.

"SENSEI! PUT ME DOWN! What are you doing? HELP! My sensei's kidnapping meeeeeeee!"

"Kidnapping you Naruto? It's not quite as drastic as that. I'm just forcibly relocating you." Kakashi said distractedly as he ignored Naruto squirming, "You're too light, eat more veg."

"Vegetables are nasty left overs of the devil." Naruto spat, "Where're you taking me? I don't trust you whenever you're all casual like this!"

"I'm always casual…" Naruto gave him huge innocent eyes, "Hmmf brat, have a little faith in your sensei."

"Last time you said that, you hid my ramen packets all over the village." Naruto told him flatly.

"And see how much your stealth has gotten better." He eye smiled at the struggling boy who stuck his tongue out. Kakashi stopped next to his other two cute genin, put his book away and picked them up by the collars. Smiling at all his team he shunshinned away only to appear in front an apartment door. Somehow in the shunshin Naruto had also been trussed up like his team mates who shot him identical looks of resignation at whatever their crazy jonin sensei was up to now. They were dropped abruptly to the ground, all of them bouncing and grimacing. And Kakashi just walked away.

"Mmmfphg" Sakura yelled.

"Grrmmphgpmmf" Naruto agreed.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, somehow it was still perfectly understandable.

"Oh thank you for reminding me of my manners. Ja ne my cute genin. Your task to find yourselves different teachers for the rest of the day. Put your persuasive skills to work. You'll find me at the Scented Sake if you need me."

His genin squad stared after him in disbelief all of them feeling a migraine starting at their teacher's actions. Sasuke rolled his eyes and swung himself so his legs smashed into the door. Catching on Sakura and Naruto thumped their legs against the floor in hopes the person was home.

"Oh I forgot something." Kakashi's voice suddenly spoke from behind them. They all jumped, not even having sensed him. He quickly put something on their heads like a hairband, patted them all and the resulting smoke left them coughing silently. Sakura looked at Sasuke and her eyes bugged out comically. He stared back at his team mates too shocked to reply. Naruto made some strangled noises in his throat. They were head bands alright, Kakashi in his infinite humour had attached furry cat ears to them. Black ears stuck out of Sasuke's styled hair, pink ears for Sakura and blonde ears for Naruto. They all shook their heads and rubbed them against the walls in a frantic effort to get rid of them. Naruto shook his head like a dog so hard Sakura was afraid his head would snap.

Sakura worked her gag loose and spat it out, "Demon sensei." She agreed flatly, "Why cats? I thought he was more of a dog person."

Naruto spat his out. "Because he enjoys playing mind games with us." He said sadly before twisting in an effort to shake off the ears, "HELP!"

Sasuke joined in, "Anyone home?"

Sakura sarcastically helped, "Please sign for your delivery."

The door was wrenched open suddenly. The three genin had a very bad feeling, they slowly looked up the jonin uniform to a blonde framed face with senbon in the mouth.

"Hi?" Naruto tried weakly.

Genma shot a bored gaze down at them and blinked.

"Kai." He intoned flatly, "Dammit Anko the genjutsu stopped being funny the fifth time around." He yelled back.

All the genin now had an ominous feeling about Genma's flat partner, that phrasing did not appeal to them one bit.

"Genma sensei." Sakura tried, "A little help please?"

"Hn."

"Hmm you even got them behaving like the brats, well the genjutsu's nice and all but seriously Anko stop it."

Naruto froze in terror and began to wriggle away desperately.

"Demon sensei, Demon sensei!" he raged quietly, "Sakura, Sasuke we have to get away. We cannot be caught like this!"

Genma's foot came down hard on Naruto's stomach pinning him into place.

"Oh no," he wagged his finger at a wheezing Naruto, "Last time I let the genjutsu split up I was chasing shadows for hours."

"Sensei you can't touch genjutsu." Sasuke said flatly, "Therefore dobe is not a genjutsu."

"Unless this is a genjutsu too and Blondie here is faking the pain and making me think my foot is suspended in air." Genma countered, "Why am I even explaining genjutsu concepts to a genjutsu?" he murmured, "Kai."

"That's possible?" Sakura cried reluctantly interested.

Genma frowned as the genjutsu didn't dispel again, "I'm assuming it is, Anko's best friend is Kurenai after all."

"What does Hinata's sensei have to do with this?" Naruto wheezed out.

Genma shot him a blank look, "Kid Kurenai's the specialist for Genjutsu in Konoha. Just like Gai is the taijutsu specialist, Kurenai is-"

"One scary lady." A voice crooned lovingly from behind Sasuke. A hand on his head stopped Sasuke from turning or moving and the woman straightened from her crouch slowly. "Hello maggots. Welcome to my den." She grinned and all the genin felt dread coursing through them, even Genma shook for a second. Sasuke's eyes kept flitting to get a glimpse of Anko, Naruto's face quite plainly told him Sasuke didn't want to know. Sakura meeped. Instantly Anko was next to her rubbing their cheeks together.

"Do I scare you little maggot?" She asked teasingly. "Shiranui stop sucking your senbon, I swear you get off that, why are Cyclops's little maggots here? Is it to see me because I'm amazing?"

Genma choked and spluttered out a no. "You mean this isn't one of your genjutsu!?"

"No!" Naruto shouted as best as he could. "Demon sensei just left us here!"

"Could you untie us?" Sasuke bit out impatiently. Sakura didn't dare speak with Anko so close.

"Why should I?" Anko demanded, "I mean Cyclops left you in my care, I can do whatever I want to you."

"No! He left us in…..Genma's care!" Naruto yelled back. Everyone looked at Genma who held up his hands, "Sorry brats, this is Anko's flat, Kakashi did probably mean her tender care." The three genin exchanged horrified looks.

"Question is," Anko mused and bent to face Sasuke, "Why?" Sasuke stared back unflinching, "Ooooh I like this one."

"He wanted us to find new teachers." Sakura spoke up.

"What you got kicked out already? Loving the ears by the way maggots, that chakra glue is tricky to pull off."

"Chakra…glue?" Sasuke froze and growled before glaring at thin air imagining his sensei bursting into flames. A twitch appeared on both his team mates' faces.

"Sensei didn't say why." Sakura gritted out. "Anko sensei."

That brought up the woman to an abrupt halt. "Oh nonononono, I'm not going to be tricked into teaching some rookie brats like Shiranui here!" she snarled. Genma howled with laughter at the side lines, "Give it up Anko, they really don't give up."

"I don't care! I'm not teaching any of them. In fact this is a perfect opportunity for revenge." Her eyes glowed with unholy glee, "Imagine how much money I could make by auctioning them off."

"Slavery's illegal." Sasuke spoke hurriedly a bit worried.

"Oh maggot I'm not selling you, I'm selling your services. I hear you have quite a fan girl movement….how much would they pay for you to carry their bags and fan them I wonder…especially with those ears?" she laughed cruelly as Sasuke abandoned all civility and thrashed around in his bindings.

"And you!" turning to Naruto who looked like a deer in the headlights, "Imagine how much the Hokage would pay for his surrogate grandson to do all his filing without pay." She cackled.

"Jiji would make you do D ranks for a month!" Naruto yelled in desperation.

She flicked his nose, "Not if I phrase it right. Now Pinky I can auction you off at the old people's home to do all their chores and wrinkly stuff. An unwilling free volunteer, they'll be raring to start."

"Volunteer!" Sakura exclaimed, "You just said you're going to sell us."

"Sell your services Pinky, not sell you. There's a difference." Genma coughed, "Well I'll just leave you to it then, Anko sensei and crew." His eyes glinted wickedly and he shunshinned out causing Anko's kunai to thud into the wall.

Anko muttered some unflattering things and turned back to the horrified genin with a big smile.

"You can't sell us." Sasuke said faux confidentially. "Why not maggot?" she crooned.

"I'm the last Uchiha?"

"Yes, yes the last 'scion' of a noble and great clan. You're just a genin brat with no experience with the field, politics or life, try again."

"We'll blow up your favourite training field!" Naruto cried.

"I'll be impressed if you can even put a foot on my favourite training field." She retorted blandly.

"I'll set Ino on you." Sakura helped her team mates out, "She'll make up so many rumours your name will be filthy by an hour or two."

She laughed loudly, "Oh Maggot! That's a good one! My name is already filthy you fool. At this point in time, because Kakashi left you in my care and I don't care at all I can do anything short of biting you in the neck and leaving you in a forest." She added hastily, "There are some lines even I won't cross."

She got some blank stares at that.

"I'll…Iruka sensei on you." Naruto tried not being able to think of anything else.

"Iruka sensei really?" Sakura screamed at him.

"Dobe." Sasuke added.

Anko paused. She hadn't realised Blondie was close to Iruka, if Iruka got wind she'd sold him, he'd make sure she'd get escort and protection missions for months. Blondie was so lucky he had the protection of the mission dispatcher chunin. She gritted her teeth.

"Fine…brat."

"How could you even thi-wait what?"

"That worked!?" Naruto cried in disbelief. Sasuke just stared.

Anko smiled sweetly at them all, "I taught you something brats now get lost before I change my mind."

"What did you teach us?" Sakura asked not daring to question the crazy woman.

"How to bluff." Anko grinned, "How to get lucky, how to threaten, how to think under pressure. Now get LOST."

The genin deadpanned as one. "Anko sensei, if we could we would."

In a flash three kunai sliced through the wire holding them captive. Anko loomed over them.

"Now GET LOST!" she roared as she sent several snakes after the already fleeing genin. Sakura screamed as she ducked two snapping snakes. Naruto leapt over a constrictor and pushed Sasuke out of the way of a viper. Within instants the entire corridor was swarmed and crawling in snakes of all sizes and colours. They heard the crazy woman laughing amongst all the hisses and ran even harder, flying down stairs as they nearly tripped in their eagerness to get away.

"Is this normal for genin? Being kidnapped, tied up, blown up, nearly sold into slavery, exploited, mind screwed and drugged?" Sakura asked rhetorically as they paused for breath by a random training field. All of them discretely tried to yank on their ears and pouted as it failed.

Sasuke chuckled at that while Naruto grinned. "Iruka sensei is so cool!" he yelled out loud, "I mean he scared the crazy snake blood woman."

"Which is strange." Sasuke commented, "Since he's not exactly the model of intimidation."

"Who cares!?" Naruto flapped a hand at him, "He's still awesome!"

Sakura choked out some laughter before straightening, "So? What now? We are NOT going anywhere near anyone we know." She glared at the boys daring them to disagree. Sasuke rolled his eyes, "As if we disagree." He deadpanned.

"I'm hungry, can we get some ramen?"

"NO! Ichirakus will recognise us!" His teammates shrieked/bit out.

"What are you planning to stay in hiding for the whole day without food?" Naruto asked sarcastically pulling on his blonde ear. Sakura bit her lip, he looked sooo cute but it was a pity about the personality though. "Have you forgotten Demon sensei will ask us what we learnt and who we learnt it from? We need to find a teacher or we'll going to be blown up again." He shuddered remembering the thunderous roar and cold furious light from when his sensei had set a lightning falcon on them for not acting as a team.

Sasuke sighed, "Dobe's got a point."

"Who do we ask to teach us?" Sakura asked blankly, "Everyone we know knows our classmates, I'd rather not get known as the Pink Panther due to this. Sasuke would probably be Bagheera and Naruto would be Simba."

"Wait! Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

"Great dobe. Now we have four future Simbas running around, as if keeping it secret wasn't hard enough."

"Teme! Wait! Watch! Henge!" Three pirate hats stared innocently back at the two incredulous and one smug genin.

"Why…pirate hats?" Sakura dared to ask.

"It's because we're ninjas dattebayo!" Naruto beamed pleased with himself. "Watch Sakura." He picked up a hat and put it on his head and crept around like some cliché of a ninja. Sasuke face palmed. "We may as well Sakura." He said finally, "Wearing a hat is better than wearing a henge all day long." He didn't mention the hats were well…kind of cool.

He put one on his head and walked off after his insane team mate. Sakura shook her head, marvelled about how cool Sasuke was acting, put on the huge hat and ran after them humming an old sea shanty she picked up from her parents.

"Sensei said use your persuasive skills…"Naruto murmured thoughtfully.

"We don't have any." Cut in Sakura, "We blow up people we like and threaten the ones we don't."

"Perhaps we could persuade them by promising not to blow them up or threaten them?" Sasuke asked lightly.

"We could stick Iruka sensei on them again!"

"…That counts as threatening Naruto."

"Aww."

"Could Iruka sensei teach us though Naruto?"

"No way. We find someone strong. Iruka sensei is a chunin…"

"That doesn't mean anything Teme!"

"Chunin senseis are usually jonin who have been held back due to deception or something though."

"And the fact you know that is a such a brilliant sign it's working…"

"Fine Teme who do you suggest?"

"That Kurenai lady seemed pretty scary from Anko sensei?"

"You want…to track down one of the few people Anko sensei considers scary…what."

"Considering number one on who scares Anko sensei list is Iruka sensei, I'm not putting too much faith in what she considers scary."

"Well if you want Kurenai I think that's her with her team over there."

The three genin turned to look. And stared.

Shino leapt into a spinning kick at Kurenai's face while Hinata came at her from behind. Kiba came up from underneath Shino hand seals flying. Kurenai easily leant back to dodge Shino, grabbed Hinata by the wrist and tossed her at Kiba who lost his concentration at catching the yelping girl. In the same move she caught Shino's ankle and flipped him to scatter the bugs he placed around her to cover for his attack. Hinata came at her again alongside Kiba aiming for the chakra pathway, Akamaru snapped at Kurenai's heels. She kicked him away mercilessly as he whined. Kiba yelled as he stared after his companion and Kurenai took the chance to grab him by the collar and smash him into Hinata to send them flying. Shino recovered enough but she just tripped him and held him up by the ankle to swat at his bugs. Then she tossed him on top of the groaning pile of his team mates.

Naruto whispered, "Is it me? Or is she really fond of using her genin as human weapons?"

Sakura shook slightly, "There was no genjutsu… that was her holding back an incredible amount and dominating the fight."

"Guess all jonin senseis have … quirks." Sasuke spoke up. Sakura and Naruto shot him exasperated looks at that sarcastic statement.

"Well then Sakura, Teme, let's go meet the woman who scares crazy snake lady?"

"You can lead Naruto." Sakura spoke hastily.

"Hn."

"Scared?"

"Hn."

"…..Just shut up and walk."

They cautiously made their way down to the battling genin team watching out for trip wires and traps. Kakashi made sure to trap all around them when they trained so if they weren't careful things blew up in an epic fashion. Between Team 7 they must have kept the whole of the exploding tag and ninja wire industry booming. They did not want to take any chances with new crazy jonin.

"Hey, why are an ambush squad being trained in front line combat while we, the actual front line combat team, are being trained in traps, deception and stealth dattebayo?"

"Part of the look underneath the underneath thing from sensei?"

"When your weakest skill is battle worthy, only then are you truly strong." Sasuke quoted, "What? Mother used to say it all the time." He turned away from the surprised and sympathetic looks.

"Yes…she picked it up from me." A voice rang out from behind them. "Mikoto Uchiha was on my old genin team." Kurenai leant against a tree looking coolly at the three genin. Sasuke paled rapidly, all blood leaving his face. Naruto looked back at where Kurenai was sparring with her team and back at the Kurenai in front of them.

"Kage Bunshin huh, nice."

She tilted her head in acknowledgement, "It's not often a genin praises me on a jonin level skill he should not know of." She murmured rhetorically. Naruto flushed.

"You're….Ku-Kurenai?" Sasuke's voice was shaky, Sakura stared at him. Sasuke was never nervous. That was his entire definition, calm. Kurenai must have done something really horrible to him, what she wondered.

"Baby Uchiha." Kurenai nodded at Sasuke, her red eyes glinting wickedly. "I see you remember me."

"Who is she Teme?" Naruto blurted curiously.

"She…was on my guard…" Sasuke's mouth moved but no sounds came out.

"EH? What was that?" Sakura exclaimed. Sasuke shot her an irritated look, "I told you she ….."

"Your mouth's moving but all I'm hearing is ….." Naruto drew his fingers together in a line.

"Are you deaf?" Sasuke snapped, "…YOU." He whirled to face Kurenai who had had mock surprise etched on her face. "Break the genjutsu on my team mates."

"Do it yourself Uchiha." She shot back, "Let's see how much genjutsu you picked up under the ninjutsu specialist. No use flinging around flashy jutsu when I can trick you into attacking your own side." Kurenai's mouth curved into a smile.

"Genjutsu's are horrible." Naruto groaned.

Sakura watched in bewilderment as both of her team mates talked and ranted at thin air before trying to dispel a genjutsu except using the tiger sign instead of the ram sign. Of course it didn't work. And why was Sasuke talking about Kurenai facing away from Team 8?

Sasuke made the ram sign again, "Kai!" He growled to himself, why didn't it work? Naruto shot him an angry look before biting himself on the hand. "Owwwww." He cried as blood dripped down his hand. Sasuke rolled his eyes and handed Naruto a bandage from his pouch.

Sakura sprang into action, she didn't know what was going on but the exploding tag Sasuke gave to Naruto and the one Naruto was wrapping around his hand was primed to go off any minute. Why did Naruto even need a bandage? He just bit his sleeve. She snatched the tag away and chucked it away where it exploded sending wood chips and dust flying.

"How hard did you throw that bandage to cause that much of an impact?" Naruto stated in shock. "I didn't even know that was possible."

"That was an exploding tag! Why do you even think…..genjutsu…wow guys how did you get yourselves caught in genjutsu when there's no one to cast it?"

Sasuke looked meaningfully at Team 8 and glared at the Kurenai behind them. She gave him a cheeky smile. "Don't underestimate jonin Sakura. How did you not get caught?"

Sakura dispelled the illusion on her teammates and watched their faces tighten as they realised they had been talking to thin air.

"I don't know. Perhaps she wasn't aiming for me?"

"It's harder to place genjutsu on kunoichis. They tend to have better chakra control and can recognise foreign chakra right away, your team mate dispelled it on instinct. I say harder not impossible." Kurenai's voice floated down from a ….falcon?

Team 7 looked around hurriedly, when they had been distracted the trees had twisted for the lack of a better word. They were now black and scorched amongst pure white snow ankle high. The woods were absolutely still and the sky was as stark as the snow leaving their world in monochrome. Team 7 shivered in the bone reaching cold.

"Escape my world and I will agree to teach you one thing about genjutsu. Lucky for you I included an exit, you cannot overpower or dispel the genjutsu. Try it and find out." The falcon smirked, the action looking very odd. A flutter of wings. The falcon was gone.

Naruto screamed after it, "Wait! Sadistic Team 8 sensei! How are we meant to get out of here? Dattebayo why are all Jonin fans of swim or sink teaching method?"

"Save your energy Naruto." Sakura advised, "Chakra can be circulated to keep us warm but that's only a temporary measure. If we run out." Her face grew pinched.

"I won't run out." Naruto reassured her, "You two however…" They didn't say anything, they knew it to be true.

"The cold is an illusion. So we can ignore it." Sasuke growled, he stalked off towards the edge of the clearing muttering about blood red eyes and virtual worlds.

"Sasuke…Genjutsu affects the brain. If the brain thinks we're cold it'll activate the right responses from the nervous system. Illusions don't matter in this case." Sakura said softly. "We'll still feel all the pain and bite of the cold."

Naruto scowled ferociously, "Kage Bunshin! Let's see how many people that lady can keep up the illusion up for." Nothing happened. "Whaaaaaaaaat! That's cheating!" he wailed, "Taking away ninjutsu."

Sakura shook her head, "She didn't. I saw this before, she's tricking you into thinking one seal is another. So ninjutsu and genjutsu are pretty much out of the picture, taijutsu…" she looked around at the surrounding trees and flat white ground, "Is no help unless there's animals in these woods."

"Dobe, Sakura." Sasuke's voice called back from the edge of the clearing. "Get here now." They scurried after him and stopped dead. There was a very familiar smell in the air. A metallic decaying scent which hung heavily in the air. Sasuke was shivering in his spot, hands clenched.

"Blood." He spat, "There's been a fight nearby." He spun off to find it.

"Wait for us Teme! You don't want to barge into a fight alone!"

"Guys I don't hear steel or shouts or anything…it's strange, the blood must have been there for a while."

"This way." Sasuke said sharply. He ran through the black grasping trees, feet crunching on the snow.

"Since when where you a tracker?"

"I've had…experience in tracking blood trails." He retorted. There was a strange emotion playing on his face. A flash of black.

"There!" Sakura cried, "The smell is strongest here." It was repulsive now, the sheer stench of the blood made their stomachs roll. They inched forward covering their noses. Sakura looked sick.

A lake stretched in front of them, the white banks contrasting perfectly with the black still water. They couldn't even see one inch into the lake.

Sasuke gave words to what they were all thinking, "It's not frozen?" Indeed the black water did not have the glazed look to it ice did. They looked into it. Their reflections stared back but the water did strange things to them. Sakura's eyes were crueller, Naruto's mouth curled slightly in a smirk and Sasuke lost the very well hidden warmth in his face.

"We look psychotic." Sakura whispered.

"No. We look like seasoned shinobi." Sasuke said flatly, "That streak of cruelty is in all seasoned nin. I saw my clan people go through this change, you wouldn't understand."

"This has to be the exit. There's nothing else interesting here." Naruto declared, "There's one thing I don't understand, why is there a smell of blood here?" He dropped to his knees and stretched his fingers cautiously towards the still water.

"Baka! Don't do that! What if there's something in the water." Sakura shrieked.

"We have no other choice Sakura. We have to check it out." Naruto stretched a little more and his fingers made contact. They came away stained crimson. Black droplets ran down his fingers leaving bloody smears behind. They stared at it in horror.

"How many people were needed…" Sakura choked off, even Sasuke looked a little sick. Naruto surveyed the lake silently wiping away the blood. A lake of blood. So dark red it appeared black. The contrast between the blood and the snow was startling, it seemed almost like a fairy tale scene except for the horrific realisation that thousands of people had died on that very spot. They weren't strangers to blood by now but not on this scale.

"Anyone ever tell Kurenai sensei she has a too active imagination." Sasuke spoke grimly breaking his team mates out of their horrified shock.

Naruto shook his head slowly, "The exit's down there." He said grimly.

"What? How do you know?" Sakura rounded on him voice panicked, "We have to go down there? In the blood?!"

"What does Kakashi sensei say Sakura? Escape is only after wading through rivers of blood?"

"That's a metaphor baka!" She looked stricken.

"It's the best lead we have." Sasuke bit out. "Sensei does say that a lot, we'll have to assume it's a Jonin thing. They seem to share sayings a lot." Sakura gave them both aghast looks.

"Why aren't you more disgusted at what we have to do?!"

"My brother soaked our district's streets in blood and made me live in hell for three days. This just doesn't compare." Sasuke told her dully. He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly, "Don't think about it as blood, just red water." He advised uncharacteristically gentle.

Naruto gave her a small smile. "I've seen worse." The other two gaped at him. "At night, I dream…"

"Yes that is generally what people do." Sasuke breathed out dryly, "What do you mean seen worse? You shouldn't have seen worse in your life!"

Naruto fixed them both with a serious look. Sakura thought to herself that the look was unsuited to Naruto who was always cheerful and joking. "I dream about death." He said flatly, "I've dreamt about people being sliced, burnt, hacked and tortured to death in every way possible. It's awful watching the flesh split and blood run but it does help on the field as it does make you more insensitive."

"You never said a word." Sakura said aghast. "You need therapy." Sasuke informed him, "Next time I go for counselling you're coming along too. No arguments."

"Bu-"

"I said. No. Arguments."

"Wai-"

"No."

"This is unfa-"

"Nope."

"Hold-"

"Shut up."

"Teme!"

"Dobe."

The boys glared at each other but looked away, neither willing to concede. Naruto was slightly touched at the gesture but he wouldn't admit it ever. Sakura pointed at the lake.

"So, how do we do this?" She said with faux cheer. "We won't be able to see the exit, we don't even know what it looks like."

"She's a genjutsu mistress, she favours trickery." Sasuke said thoughtfully, "Could there be a trick to this?"

The three of them looked at the lake, back at each other then back at the lake.

"I got nothing." Naruto shrugged, "Yatta, let's do this the old fashioned way." Without further ado he leapt into the lake.

"Dobe!" Sasuke yelled, "Get back here! We don't know what's there!"

"Naruto!"

Naruto surfaced retching and choking, blood spurting out of his mouth. Sakura's heart nearly stopped before he grinned back at them. Blood dripped down from his sunny hair leaving tracks on his face and skin, crimson black swallowed his clothes with barely a ripple.

"It's cold dattebayo, come on kids time for a nice bath." His teeth chattered. "It's absolutely disgusting, I can feel it sloshing around and the smell is ugggh. I don't think there's anybody else in the lake." With that he dived again, the blood closing up over him. Sakura suddenly had the ominous image of the lake eating Naruto. She shivered.

"Come on Sakura, we should go in too." With that Sasuke dived. Sakura sighed and mused about all the crazy situations she got in with her team and followed him. The blood got everywhere, it was nothing like water. It was sticky and cold and congealing in places. Webs of congealing blood caught them and they had to shake it off before they got tangled, it was wet, sticky and slimy. They couldn't see anything and the smell was even worse in there. The metallic smell and taste was making them feel sick. They rose retching after a bit, coughing up the blood and shaking it off with a fervour. Sakura stumbled out and was violently sick behind a tree. Naruto went and held her hair out of the way until she felt better, Sasuke took another dip. Then he too stumbled out to meet them, the blood forming a red film over his skin.

"I can't see anything, can you?" he sounded shaken. Naruto and Sakura just shook their heads in response. Sakura touched her face, it came back red.

"I have some dead person's blood on my face." She said in a small voice and threw up again. "I can't stand it."

"Red water." Sasuke reminded Sakura tiredly, "Don't think of it as belonging to a dead person, it's now a part of nature. Take your time but we do have to try again."

"Teme, Are we sure the exit is there? I mean would sensei be this cruel to make us swim in blood?"

Sasuke's mouth thinned, "She is that cruel yes. I never finished what I was saying before, she was on my guard just after the massacre. I don't know why but she illusioned her eyes into a pair of mature Sharingans; as you can imagine I nearly had a heart attack and thought that man had snuck past to kill me again. She in an ANBU suit is remarkably close to that man. So I don't doubt the way out is in there." He gazed at the dark splotch in the background. Sakura stood up shakily.

"Guys. I think I know what the exit is." She wiped at her mouth, "I've been thinking all the sayings Sensei says to us. Look underneath the underneath, escape is only after wading through rivers of blood, the last to lie is the first to die, Swallow defeat to surface with victory." She looked up at her team, face very pale, "We have to drown in that lake."

Naruto and Sasuke both paled. It was one thing to willingly swim in blood but another to consciously breathe in blood and feel it filling up your lungs and drag you down helpless. It took more mental strength than either thought they had.

"Is that the only way out?" Naruto's voice was higher pitched than normal.

"I think so."

"I don't want to wander here for ever." Sasuke spoke looking around at the desolate surroundings. "It's an illusion, remember we won't drown for real." He faced his team mates.

"We're walking to our deaths." Naruto looked shaken. "What if we're wrong and we're stuck at the bottom of the pond unable to breathe or move for ever?"

Sakura giggled hysterically, "We'll make Demon sensei proud at least, we'll die as a team."

Sasuke looked like his world shattered in two at that statement, he staggered against a tree. He'd always planned to die in battle with Itachi alone. He didn't want to live as the Last Uchiha, it was his form of revenge for Itachi leaving him alive and defying his will. He had fully accepted his death as an avenger. But to die side by side with his team? His dream wouldn't be fulfilled but would that matter? Would they take on Itachi as a team? Could he take on Itachi with his team mates? His hands shook as confusion swirled in him.

Team 7 looked at each other, straightened and walked to the edge resolute. They had to do this. They had to. They took a deep breath and jumped in going deeper and deeper. They ignored the burning and tightening of their chests, ignored the stinging in their eyes, the sheer pain in their lungs as their bodies demanded oxygen. Sakura lost it first, breathing in a lungful of heavy blood as she choked and retched in the water swallowing more and more liquid. She was surrounded in darkness, the weight pressing down on her and she couldn't breathe! She gasped more and more as bubbles escaped her then finally her eyes glazed over as the bubbles stopped. She floated gently down, lost in the darkness of the lake.

Sasuke went down deep enough so he knew he couldn't change his mind easily. He closed his eyes steeling himself. He opened his eyes and forced himself to breathe in. His brain screamed at him to stop, he had air, he was killing himself! Immediately he felt heavier as his lungs filled with blood, blooming to their full volume. He felt the pressure in his chest increase dramatically, he forced himself to breathe more in without gasping for air. Agony shot through him as he sank slowly and his last thought was of his team mates.

Naruto went deeper than his team mates in the darkness. He was going to die in the dark he thought hysterically. He was going to die blind, deaf, and dumb without doing anything he wanted to with his life. It was a chilling thought to know your own death and Naruto panicked thrashing around. He breathed in unintentionally as his air ran out and he doubled up wheezing. Bright spots swam in front of him, his muscles felt like water and his vision blasted in white. He felt his heart stop, how weird was that? Then the white coloured to a bright blue which made him effectively blind from the brightness.

He retched sitting up on the grass quickly breathing deeply, savouring the air. Glorious air! Sakura was next to him gulping down air and Sasuke lay on his back in utter relief that they had escaped. Kurenai, the real one they hoped, stood in front of them smiling gently.

"Welcome back Team Kakashi, you're not as weak as you first appear are you? I thought I'd have to drag you underwater to drown you forcefully. I never imagined you'd commit suicide intentionally." She bowed her head in slight respect.

"Sensei why?" Sakura's pleading tone said it all. The sheer betrayal from one of their own Jonin stung hard, she had made them die. They felt their own bodies stop!

Kurenai looked back at them impassive and breathed out, "To get you to accept the fact you will die." She said bluntly. "You will die on the field, which is the case for all ninja. To know and embrace death is an important lesson. Kakashi contacted me to teach you something, I taught you what Jonin sensei do not normally teach until you are Chunin. What kind of mentor wants to see their children die in front of them?" She gazed up, "You may hate me for this, but it was for the best. Take the rest of the day off. Find your sensei, tell him what happened."

Sasuke clenched his fist, "Sensei, I recommend doing it to your children first before doing it to other's." He called out cruelly. Kurenai froze, "They all died screaming in fire." She spoke softly, "The harder you break it, the stronger a person gets."

Naruto scrambled to his feet eyes glacial, he tugged his team mates to their feet and gave Kurenai a mocking bow before walking off. All of them clutched at each other desperately to make sure they were real. Sakura hit their hats slightly which caused them to poof out. Before they could protest she spoke.

"I need to know that this is real and this isn't a genjutsu. The reactions will ground us."

Sasuke nodded, Naruto bit his lip then nodded too. They walked through the village drinking in the taken aback stares, laughter and teasing. Ino squealed over Sasuke being so cute before her team dragged her off, Asuma gave them all a pitying look tinged with amusement but they weren't really in the mood to tangle with another Jonin sensei. Who knew how he would traumatise them? The Scented Sake loomed in front of them, Naruto pushed the door open quietly and a hush fell. A great roar of laughter boomed through the bar as they got a good look at the cat eared Team 7. Shinobi saluted them with drinks remembering them from before grinning. They ignored them all and found their silver haired sensei drinking alone in a corner smirking. Sakura blurred and reappeared her arms around his vest hiding her face. Naruto and Sasuke stood a little closer than usual, their usual faces replaced with sombre, shaken faces. Kakashi's smirk slid off his face as he watched his cute little genin.

"What happened?" He asked quietly steel lacing his tone, if his genin had got hurt under another sensei, there would be hell to pay. Sakura didn't answer and hid burrowed more into him, he patted her back comfortingly while looking questionably at the two boys. Naruto looked away, Sasuke didn't even meet his gaze challengingly. Now he was very worried. He cast his eyes over them.

"You look fine physically, maa what happened to shake you up this much?"

Naruto spoke so quietly even he had to strain to hear, "Kurenai sensei killed us." White hot anger curled in his chest, Kurenai gave them that lesson! They were too young, too immature! No wonder they were like this. She was meant to give them a grounding in genjutsu not this! He promised darkly that he would make the Jonin suffer for that before drawing his team close.

"How did you die?" his voice lost all the cheer and lazy undertones.

"Suicide by drowning." Sasuke whispered. That word alone brought back crushing memories of darkness and metal.

"I can still smell blood." Sakura's voice was muffled by his vest. She made them drown in blood! He restrained his killer intent with some difficulty.

"My sensei made me hang from the gallows." He told them quietly, "It's something we all go through, but not this young. Trust me I will be having serious words with her for this. I am very proud of you, most ninja have to be forced into dying, myself included. To commit suicide is proof of some very strong mental states. I can see some shining futures for you. You are alive, it will ever happen to you understand? As I said I don't let my comrades die. As long as I am alive you will not die, ever." His team looked slightly better at that. To distract them he asked about their day, gathering the full story from them. He made up his mind, he was NEVER leaving them unsupervised again. How on earth did they manage to get into those kind of situations he didn't know.

He discretely signed for three strong glasses of sake to the bar tender. He brought it over having figured out something was wrong, the whole bar had and had refrained from commenting. He gently coaxed his students into drinking and when they collapsed unconscious from the alcohol, Naruto took so long he despaired he himself would pass out before his genin, he picked them up gently and shunshinned out. He made his excuses half-heartedly to Sakura's parents for effectively kidnapping their daughter and left them all curled up next to each other in his house to sleep off the effects. Now he had a Jonin to find.

Please review ^.^