Part Eight: Living

Heavy silence followed her words and Astrid felt them crush her own heart. Ruffnut was not the sharpest axe in the armory and she often thought with brute force, but beneath all that she was still just a young woman as lost as the rest of the Hooligans.

Astrid felt her insides clench in sympathy. "You wanna have dinner with us tonight?" She offered rather lamely. They both knew running away was not going to make things better.

Ruffnut shook her head, almost disappointed at her own dismissal. "No…I really should get in there…" still she made no more effort to near the door.

Silence hung in the air again.

"Ruff…you want me to come in with you?"

The brutal Viking looked as though she had just stumbled on a horde of gold surrounded by poisonous thorns. The relief, elation, and fear in her eyes shook Astrid, solidifying her stance. "Let's go."

Ruff stalled a moment longer. She needed the company, the distraction that Astrid would provide, but she was terrified of what Astrid would see once they stepped inside. Most hadn't seen Tuff since the attack; most hadn't seen how badly he had become. But Astrid was already crossing the short distance to the door and pushing it open.

The door swung open almost eagerly and the dry warmth of a blazing fire darted to smack Astrid in the face. The night was fairly warm – by northern island standards – yet within the hut the cooking fire burned tirelessly and coal pots released hot, smoky air in the corners of the room.

Swallowing the sudden wave of self-conscious nervousness that threatened to glue her to the spot, Astrid stepped inside, blinking to adjust her eyes to the light.

Like most of the homes on New Berk, the interior was mainly bare, filled not with flowing family treasures, painstakingly painted portraits, or hard worn symbols of victory but with only the bare essentials. A wooden table for eating, a wooden bench for all seating needs, one large bed for the family to share.

At the table, hands busily working at stretching dried fish and plants into a sizeable dinner, sat Ms. Thurston. Like the twins, Mother Thorston sported thick, coarse blonde hair twisted into braids and tails randomly around her face as though put there simply to get them out of her eyes. Her helmet sported 4 horns though it currently sat to the side while she worked in the warm kitchen. The twins' lanky figure they obviously got from their father, as she was round and rather small, her chin coming only just above Astrid's eyes. But her face was hard, deep lines from a scowl etched into her skin and her brows seemed permanently knit together.

She glanced up momentarily as the door opened only to do a quick, startled double take. "Astrid!" Her eyes darted to the door again as her daughter entered.

"I'm sorry to come by without letting you know, Ms. Thorston," Astrid answered, in the sweetest voice she could muster. "I wanted to come see how Tuff was doing."

Astrid thought she saw a brief shadow passed over the woman's eyes at that, but it was gone as quickly as it came that she was almost sure she imagined it. Ms. Thorston's head jerked to the corner of the room, where the large bed lie.

Tuffnut was buried under all of the blankets they owned, his back to the door. Ruff had told her once, he did not like fire much anymore but was too cold without it; shivering in a chill that never seemed to leave him even when sweat poured from his brow and caked his skin in slime. His helmet dangled, lonesome, from the bed post so that his mass of blonde hair peeked from the covers.

Astrid took another deep sigh and crossed the room with wide, confident steps, practically stomping over to the bed. She tried to ignore how her heart was hammering. She tried not to feel Ms. Thorston's eyes boring into her back. She tried only to think of what she would say.

With more force than necessary, she dragged one of the plain wooden chairs to the edge of the bed, plopped down and stared at the lump that was her friend.

This was not her first visit to Tuffnut since the accident – they had all come several times in the beginning, hoping to pull him from his silence – but misery was selfish and clung too close to Tuff to allow anyone else through. In truth, between sailing for a new island and handling the day to day chores of New Berk, she had not stopped by in quite a few months.

Slowly, the sound of chopping returned to the small hut, as mother Thorston returned to the meal preparations. The knife thudded dully on the wooden table, a stilted pattern that made Astrid all the more aware of her own silence.

"You wanna hear a cool story?" She started abruptly.

The chopping paused hesitantly, and the seconds ticked away. As expected, the slim form on the bed did not answer.

The knife returned to its work.

"Y-yeah." Ruff answered in her twins' stead. "Astrid always has the best stories."

Astrid grimaced internally at Ruff's painful attempt at gaiety and pushed on. "So this new island I went to this time, had the best mountains. I swear they went all the up to Valhalla. I mean it was hard to tell since they disappeared into the clouds – oh and the clouds! Not a drop of rain fell but they were so fluffy. You know, now that I think about it – maybe it was Odin's beard. I might have gone to the edge of the world!" Despite the tense atmosphere in the room, Astrid could not help but find herself excited as she spoke about the island. It was not an exaggeration; the land had been lush and beautiful and the mountains created a ring on one side that would have been perfect to protect against invaders. She happily painted this picture for the twins, telling them about the sea stacks that broke out of the ocean, the wild boar and goats plump with juicy meat, the fish that practically jumped to the shore. She rattled on for nearly twenty minutes about the great island and its forest that stretched along the mountains base, with thick wild trees standing like sentinels.

"I was so sure I had found our new home, if not for the dra-" Ruff's hand slapped over Astrid's mouth, shaking her head.

"Right," Astrid said once Ruff's hand was peeled away. She tried not to think too hard about what that hand might have touched earlier today. "Well, it was still great. Maybe you'd like to see it too?"

Again Tuffnut gave no answer.

"Maybe another time," Mother Thorston cut in, sounding almost relieved by her son's continued silence. She looked toward the small, glassless window. "You should get back to your mother, Astrid. I'm sure she'll want to hear all about this great island too." They both knew it was not a suggestion and Astrid gave another sweet smile before walking to the door.

"I'll come with you!" Ruff added quickly, nearly brushing past Astrid when the Viking stopped to give her final farewells.

"We'll be here for the next few days or so," she said as she pulled the door open. "There is a storm heading this way and Eirik wants to wait until it passes before we set back out." She trailed off for a moment Mother Thorston watching her with the kindest expression her fierce eyes could create. "Would it be okay if I stopped by again?"

"Of course, Astrid. A little warning though." Her eyes darted to her daughter as well and Ruff shied away from the glance.

"Of course. Thanks!"

For the next days, Astrid spent her free time at the Thorston's hut, helping with the meals and laundry or just generally sitting and giving them something other than each other to stare at. When the silence got too unbearable, she would dazzle them with some tale of the places she'd see or the daring maneuvers by their experienced captain. Always, she kept mentions of dragons out of the conversation. Though none of them were sure if Tuffnut was listening, they did not want to isolate him by harping on his fears.

By day three, the storm that captain Eirik had been wary of came with heavy force, the power of Thor painting the heavens and shaking the very earth. Hail and rain fell from dusk til dawn, pausing only, it seemed, to let the blistering wind whip through the island. Homes quickly became too exposed as shingles were torn asunder and crops flooded under the endless deluge. Despite their stubborn nature to hold out on their own, by the end of the week everyone was indoors, cloistered in the great Meade hall.

The Hooligans curved in on themselves around the large fires, silently waiting out the end of the storm. Sheep bleated with each peal of thunder and the chickens' feathers fell from the rafters, where they roosted, when lightning pierced the sky. At the head, Snoutlout paced and fumed angrily, demanding a solution from Gothi and Gobber. "Isn't there some way to stop him from being so angry?!" The two advisors plied him with rituals and offering suggestions but the storm raged on, oblivious.

Fishlegs worked with Bucket and Mulch to keep the animals calm and to handle the rations stored for just such an occasion, while Astrid and Ruffnut took turns either occupying the restless children so their exhausted and frazzled parents could get some rest, or helping mother Thorston shield Tuffnut from the storm.

The boy was handling it rather terribly, prone to screaming fits when the thunder shook the building and waking in violent throws even when the rain was silent. Most of the Hooligans gave him a wide berth, frightened and worried by the change, though those that did feel sympathy for him tried their hardest to calm him though to little avail. He scratched madly at his stumps and scars when silence did take him, and his already large eyes were wide and roving as though a dragon would come from the shadows and swallow him whole.

It did not help that in the whispers of the Hooligans, there was talk that Skrills may be drawn by the lightning.

"I really don't think he's going to get any better…" Ruff said one night, when both girls were relieved from duty and chewing on what was supposed to be lamb broth and cabbage. "I think he's actually getting worse…"

Astrid, begrudgingly had to agree. Without the cover of blankets, the boy was frighteningly thin, his clothes hanging off of him like rags. He barely ate more than enough to stay alive and slept even less. His hair was over grown, and matted for he did not like the sheen of shears to tame the locks. No, he was not going to get better. Tuffnut was living in fear of what had been and what could be and it was eating him alive. He would not get better.

"Not like this…" Astrid found herself saying aloud.

"Huh?"

"I think he needs to get out…" Astrid continued. "Maybe see that it's not as scary?" She shrugged. Tuffnut used to be the one eager to dive into a pit of Fireworms, or to chase Terrible Terrors through the rivers, and tease the semi-sight challenged Nadders to hit him with their spines. He laughed in the face of fear and somewhere that same boy was waiting to laugh again. He just had to be reminded of that. Astrid slowly told Ruff this, picking her words carefully.

"If we can get him to some of the islands I've been to, I think he'll be better. The dragons there aren't all that bad and if it wasn't for Snotlout's demand that our new home have 'no dragons at all whatsoever period, I'm chief so do it!' we would be off this sinking rock five times over."

"Astrid…I don't really think that is going to work."

"Well, we know this isn't."

The look Ruffnut leveled on her was fire and Astrid regretted her tone. Not her words, she felt those were the truth, but Ruffnut was losing her brother and she did not need her friend criticizing her efforts.

"I'm sorry, Ruff. I just meant…it can't make him any worse to try right?"

The female Thorston shook her head. "I don't know…he can barely stand to hear the word 'dragon' what would he do if he sees one?"

"Maybe we just worry about that if it happens…"

Hiccup could feel the very muscles in Toothless' lithe frame, as the dragon carried them through the air. The wind screamed as they sliced through it and with each turn, dive, climb, or glide, Hiccup felt the dragon's complex body work. He rode low in the saddle, braced from being entirely flat, by a narrow curve at the front that served as hand-holds. He kept his elbows tight to his own frame, legs anchored back against Toothless' sides, feeling as though he were a very part of his companion.

'What'd'ya say bud?' he asked silently through a gentle tap behind Toothless' left ear. The ear twitched. 'Sounds fun'

Hiccup pressed his heel back in the rigging and felt the tail fin slide closed a few degrees, allowing it to drop below the dragon's bulk just as Toothless pulled his wings in, banked against the wind and climbed toward the clouds, pumping his wings in large circles. The wind fought their assent and while thick layers of mucus protected Toothless' eyes from the drying sting, Hiccup was forced to shut his as he pressed closer to Toothless' back. Often he had thought of crafting a helmet that would protect him in such circumstances but he really had no need. He trusted Toothless more than he could explain to anyone and knew the dragon would guide them safely wherever they wished to go.

So, blinded as he was, holding tight to the powerful body beneath him, thousands of miles into the air, he felt only pure exhilaration as Toothless tilted backwards and dropped the very way they had come. For a moment, they hung suspended in the air, weightless, before they began to plummet back to the earth.

Almost immediately, the high winds threatened to peel Hiccup away from Toothless, the gale like knives of ice against his exposed skin. Squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could, the boy focused all his attention on the dragon, doing all he could to avoid falling off. Toothless' wings were locked tight at the dragon's side serving both to streamline their descent and secure Hiccup in place, his tail arrow-straight in the sky, fins pressed just as tightly.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly as they fell and Hiccup swallowed the fear that inevitably began to creep up in his belly. Echoes from his nightmares - only recently returned - trying to merge into reality; it was not the wind that cut him or screamed in his ears but crossbow bolts and the voices of Hooligans hungry to bring him down.

Hiccup pressed closer to Toothless and tried not to think about it. But the door was open and his avoidance only made the thoughts pour in faster. There was fire raining from the sky, the trails of flaming catapults painting his vision red, heating his entire body. His mind knew this was not real; knew they were alone in the air above the small island, flying as they always did. But his heart was entangled in guilt and pain and he struggled to tear himself free of their chains.

Suddenly, he felt Toothless' smooth dive shift to a wild bucking, the dragon crooning worriedly. Hiccup forced his eyes open as the ground came way too clear for his comfort. Snapping back to focus he clicked the tail fin open as Toothless' wildly beating wings caught the updraft on the wrong beat and they shot up without rhythm. Uncoordinated, Toothless worked to maintain his flight while Hiccup failed to match the dragon's swift movements; they saw the crash coming and braced as they dove into the rough boughs on the beach.

"Ow…" Hiccup muttered into the ground, as his body came to realize the impact. As was a bit of habit in their crashes, Toothless had twisted at nearly the last minute to take most of the brunt on his scaly belly, leaving Hiccup away from the ground until the force launched him free of the saddle. In the grand scheme, the few cuts and bruises from rude branches and hard sand were nothing compared to what he would have faced if he hit the ground directly.

From a few feet behind him, Toothless crooned and grumbled angrily, and through the foliage Hiccup made out the dragon rising stiffly and flexing his limbs in search of any injuries. After a moment, Toothless closed the gap – stomping rather determinedly – checked Hiccup with a whack of his tail and continued off into the brush.

"Yeah, yeah, I deserved that."

Nearly five full, down-trodden days since the first raindrop fell, the storms bathing New Berk abated in earnest and sun peeked warily from the horizon while the gentle blue of a peaceful sky shooed away the last grey clouds.

The Hooligans were a grumpy bunch that poured out of the Mess Hall and even more so when they saw the damage the constant downpour had done. The crops that had not yet been ready to harvest were flooded, once rich soil turned to a muddy swamp. Rooftops sagged, or in some worse cases, collapsed, under soaked straw and several interiors were almost as wet as if they had been outdoors.

At the dock, the ships faired a bit better. The sailors had tied them firmly, stored the great sails below deck in tight chests and opened the drain ports on the upper decks that water would simply spill out and over the edges. A quick inventory check, and the reattachment of the sails to masts was all it took to get the vessels ready for their next voyage.

After the long time cloistered inside, it took little convincing to get Ruff and Tuff onboard.

"It's about a day trip to the launch point," Astrid showed as she traced the points on the map. With Ruff leaning more toward the idea (as Tuff was nearly inconsolable now) Astrid felt it best to show her full hand. "We'll take a skip from there a half day rowing." She tapped a crudely drawn circle. "The island is here. There's a beach along the western side but most of the island is raised so we'll have to hike a bit to get to the good parts. We should make it just before sundown."

"And what about..." she trailed off but her meaning was obvious.

"I've been here quite a bit and there aren't many."

"Many...?"

"It'll be fine, Tuff. They don't attack. A couple herds of gronkles and some terrors but they stick to themselves. I've mapped out where they nest and hunt - we'll avoid them all."

Ruff made no response, but her hesitancy in not saying no was enough to tell Astrid that the deal was all but sealed.

"We're almost there," Astrid plied once more, as the trio climbed over rocks and roots. It had taken some serious convincing to pull Tuffnut from the boat and as it was, Ruff and Astrid were more carrying him than he was actually walking, but his frightened whimpers and adamant denials had fallen away.

She did not know if it meant that this was working or if the boy had simply withdrawn further in on himself, but Astrid was grateful for the silence. Ruffnut was a vicious woman when her family was threatened and the two nearly came to blows at Tuff's expense.

The high cliff overlooked a great expanse of the island's southern edge. A sheer drop was blocked and guarded by towering trees and wild flowers, speckled like paint thrown upon the rockside. Beyond and below clear waters danced, the coral and stones seeming almost precisely placed for maximum effect.

"Whoa..."

Astrid smiled as Ruffnut looked over the sight, the majesty of the island completely taking her in. Huddled behind her, Tuff stared off into the horizon where blue met blue and the world seemed endless.

"This would be a great place for the Meade Hall," Astrid said regretfully. "Or maybe the chief's house. And over there," she pointed back the way they had come where the ground evened out, "the blacksmith."

"And a boar pit!" Ruff exclaimed with almost a hint of her old excitement. Astrid actually chuckled the idea as she settled against a large boulder to peer over the edge of the cliff.

The strong gusts that tried to blow through the island were tempered into gentle breezes by the tall foliage and stone so that despite the rustle of a dozen falling leaves, she felt only a refreshing tickle of air over her sweat-slicked face.

X-X-X-X

By the time night fell, Astrid was certain her plan was working. Though he remained silent, Tuffnut moved on his own and often went to and from their campfire without prodding. He ate small bites of the fish cooked over the flame. Mainly, however, he kept returning to the overlook. He had moved closer over the period of the day and now sat as close to the edge as he could safely. If he lay down on the rock and stretched his neck, he could see through the trees to the small beach below. The frothing waves rocking against the stone seemed to interest him and he spent long periods just watching their motions.

The females were almost afraid to call him away.

"Thanks, Astrid..." Ruff said barely audible over the crackling flame.

"Don't thank me yet...we still have to try to get him to go back."

Author's Note: I just want to give a big thanks to everyone who has been waiting so long for me to update this again. I truly appreciate you all and hope to continue providing updates in a timely fashion.