Chapter VI: Memories

It had been six years since I'd entered the Griffon household. I was a junior in high school and could not wait for my final year. I didn't have many friends, and those that I did manage to get ended up ditching me for the "cool" kids. I didn't mind. Being alone had become the norm for me. I knew that I wasn't ever truly alone.

It was a Sunday morning. Mrs. Griffon had woken me up and told me to go downstairs and prepare breakfast for the family. I quickly did so and ran back upstairs to put on my Sunday best.

"I'm leaving now." I yelled before exiting the door into the cold January air.

I made the 2 mile walk to the church that I called home. Ferguson Methodist was an old church with a tiny chapel whose pews squeaked beneath any weight. But I loved it.

I was greeted with numerous good mornings and took my seat in the farthest pew to the left.

Today's sermon was about abiding in God. The preacher spoke about Moses and his prayers for God to be in his presence always. He said that all we could do was trust the Lord and know that he will do what is best for us. He was right.

On my way home I decided to pass the time by taking a different route. I had always gone the same way but for some reason it felt like I was supposed to go left instead of right. I walked down a long and winding path away from the city and hoped that the Griffons didn't need me home soon.

I didn't think I would ever stop walking. I wanted to continue, to run away from the life that I despised so much. But I knew that my thoughts were not realistic.

I decided to turn around, however a building in the distance caught my eye. I immediately recognized it as the building that I had grown up in. The building where I lived with my mother what seemed like 20 years ago.

I made my way to the building, knowing that it had been abandoned a year ago. When I reached the front steps I decided to go in. Making my way to room 3B, tears began to surface in my eyes as the memories of my old life began to rush out at me.

The door was faded and rundown, with half of the "3" missing and no door handle. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The apartment looked untouched, as if it hadn't been empty for the past 6 years. There were dirty dishes in the sink and clothes strewn on the floor.

Clean up.

You're not good enough.

You pig

All of the memories were left behind, and I was standing in their midst.

Are you deaf? Clean up!

So I did.

I scrubbed the floors, washed the dishes, put away the clothes, and dusted every surface in the apartment. As always, nobody thanked me.

"Are you happy mother?" I said, knowing that there would be no response.

I sat down on our little couch and turned to channel 21, blasting the volume because I knew that my mother could not stop me.

Moses prayed, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here".

- Exodus 33:15