AN: I first published this story in 2014. I abandoned it in 2015 when my muse fled; it's haunted me since then. I am republishing it now, revised and updated and am committing to finishing this. It remains my favourite thing I have ever written and I know I owe it to myself, and to all of you, to finish it.

I've missed you all; I hope you'll trust me to come on this journey with me again.

Sarah. xo

Part I

Chapter I

Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm...

... Charm however, was the furthest thing from her mind as the Tarleton twins made their farewells, on the afternoon of April 15th, 1861. She was glad to see the back of them both. Between their talk of the war they were sure was coming and of Ashley Wilkes marrying that insipid Melanie Hamilton, Scarlett couldn't care if she never saw Stu and Brent again. Never mind that she'd promised them all her waltzes at the Twelve Oaks barbecue and ball the next day, she'd simply find someone else to dance with!

War, war, war, war, war! Scarlett was sure she was heartily sick of the word. For weeks now, it had been the only thing gentleman talked of, the old men gathering with her father to shout of Fort Sumter and Abe Lincoln, while all her beaux rattled on endlessly about regiments and battalions and leaving university to join the Confederacy. Who could be bothered with war when there were balls and barbecues and fetes to attend, beaux to flirt with and dresses to be had?

"Fiddle dee dee!" Scarlett exclaimed to herself, kicking at the red soil at her feet, headless of the damage it caused to her small, ribbon-laced slippers.

Of course the talk of war wasn't what left her with a sick feeling in her stomach and an ache in her head. No, that was the thought of Ashley Wilkes, her Ashley, marrying that mealy mouthed Melanie Hamilton, truly, the thought of Ashley marrying anyone but her!

It had been two years since Scarlett had fallen in love with Ashley Wilkes. Funny really, that she had never found him so very attractive growing up. But his return from his three year Grand Tour had changed all that and, upon his calling on her family on his return, her life had changed forever. She had wanted him in that instant, wanted him as simply and unreasoningly as she wanted food to eat, horses to ride and a soft bed on which to lay herself.

For two years he had been at her side across the County, at balls, picnic, fish fries and court days, not the most regular of her beaux, to be sure, but constant enough. And still, every week Ashley would come calling at Tara and if that wasn't proof enough of their attachment, then Scarlett didn't know what was.

To be sure, he didn't make love to her the way her other young men did. His eyes never burnt with that deep, hot light she had long ago identified as passion, but surely that was out of his respect for her and her family! He remained aloof, always remote, though friendly and courteous, always!

Scarlett knew she would never understand him, he, with his run on about books and antiquity and philosophy, speaking so that she couldn't understand a word being said. Surely though, that one fault could be forgiven? Scarlett knew she would be quite content, as Mrs. Wilkes, to simply dimple prettily and smile demurely, while Ashley ran on about things she didn't understand.

Occasionally, she knew, he would catch her and know that she was bored by his words. But Ashley was a gentleman and when he caught her daydreaming he would simply smile, a little sadly and say –

"Forgive me, Scarlett! I forget how tiresome you must find my scholarly musings!"

"I could never find you tiresome Ashley," Scarlett would protest, though internally, she was rolling her eyes. Who wanted to speak of dead men's thoughts when there was gossip to be had?

After that Ashley would smile, and allow Scarlett to turn the conversation to the latest scuttlebutt of the County and they were both happy. Or so Scarlett thought.

And now she was to believe that he was to marry Melanie Hamilton? Melanie, who was as plain and boring as the day was long! Melanie, who was all graciousness and kindness, with never a cross word to say about servant, or child or the elderly! How insipid, how jejune! Scarlett couldn't, wouldn't stand to see Ashley married to that plain church mouse of a creature!

It couldn't be true, it simply couldn't! Scarlett would not allow it to be true!

Pa would know, Scarlett reassured herself. He'd spent all day with the Wilkes' and John Wilkes was as busy a body as existed in the County. Pa would know!

She hadn't long to wait, within minutes Gerald O'Hara was seen walking up the driveway, horse reigns in hand, his appearance ruffled enough to give him away, Scarlett knew he'd been galloping all the way home.

"Oh, Pa," she sighed, reaching up to assist him as he reached her. "Mother will take one look at you and know what you're about."

"See here Missy," Gerald pinched Scarlett's cheek fondly, as she fussed with his cravat. "Unless you'll be tattlin' on me, like your sister Suellen, your Mother won't know a thing!"

"You know I'm no tattletale Pa," Scarlett smoothed his ruffled feathers, slipping her hand through the crook of his elbow as his horse was led away. "Say, what news from the Wilkes'?"

"Cade Calvert was there, with the news from Atlanta..." Scarlett huffed and blew an errant hair from her face. "But I suppose you don't much care to hear about that, you'd rather hear about their preparations for tomorrow's barbecue I'm sure."

"Oh, yes please Pa!" Scarlett smiled prettily, earning herself another pinch on the cheek.

"Well Miss Melanie Hamilton and her brother Charles were there, all set for tomorrow you know?" Gerald began, noticing the angry blush that instantly transfused his daughters face. Nobody had ever accused Gerald of being quick, but he did know his daughter and he had long since grown tired of her infatuation with Ashley Wilkes. "Ashley's all set to announce his engagement to Miss Melly tomorrow at the barbecue."

"Oh Pa, stop!" Scarlett demanded, lower lip trembling. "I don't want to hear any more!"

There was little Gerald O'Hara hated more in the world than the sight of tears on a woman, particularly one of his women, for despite his choleric exterior, Gerald had one of the softest heart's known to man. On this topic though, Gerald would remain firm, Ashley Wilkes did not deserve the spot he held in his eldest daughter's heart.

"Now you listen hear Katie Scarlett O'Hara, none of these tears," he gruffly handed her his balled up handkerchief from the deepest recesses of his pocket. "Ashley Wilkes is not the man for you."

"Oh, Pa!" Scarlett whimpered piteously. "Ashley's only a friend, a friend to us all!"

"Dribble drabble!" Gerald exclaimed. "I'm no fool Katie Scarlett. Has he been trifling with you? Has he asked you to marry him?"

"No," she said shortly, petulantly.

"I thought not," Gerald said triumphantly. "Nor will he. He's engaged to Miss Melly and that's that! And," Gerald paused here, pinching Scarlett's chin in his fingers and forcing her to meet his eyes. "Even if he were not, Ashley would not be the man for you. The Wilkes', they're queer folk, not in the County way you know. Don't tell me you can make heads nor tails when Ashley begins to prattle on about books and philosophy and art and the like!"

Scarlett remained mute, for hadn't she just been thinking that exact thing?

"Don't get me wrong Puss, I like Ashley just fine, I just don't want him for a son in law. You'd make each other miserable, as sure as my name's Gerald Clancy O'Hara! No Puss, Ashley and Miss Melly will suit each other just nicely, with never a cross word between them. There's too much Irish in you for you to be happy with a man like Ashley."

Scarlett's bottom lip quivered again and a single tear fell down her cheek.

"Come now Missy," Gerald fumbled again for his handkerchief. "You don't need Ashley. Why you've got all Tara! And one day soon, you'll find a man to marry you. And as long as he's a gentleman, a Southerner and prideful, my blessing you'll have!"

"Pa, you do run on!" Scarlett threw her head spiritedly, not one to ever let anything get her down for long.

"Who knows Missy, perhaps you'll be meeting him at the barbecue tomorrow. You'd best be hoping so, gentlemen will become pretty thin on the ground once the war breaks out!"

"Oh Pa, not the war again! Come into the house and change, its almost time for supper."

Gerald allowed his daughter to lead him inside, feeling pleased with himself for doing his job as a father. His work done, Gerald was looking forward to dinner with his family and eagerly anticipating the card games that were to be had at Twelve Oaks the following day.

Scarlett's thoughts were less agreeably engaged. Her father's words had struck an uncomfortable cord with her, reinforcing the reservations that had long since taken up residence in the back of her mind. As she entered the house to Mammy's reprimands of her walking out without a shawl, she resolved to think on it another time.