Setting himself down on the cliff balcony, Rintun set himself up with a nice book, The Lusty Argonian Maid. A boys were hauling in loads of loot and slaves. Yep, things were looking pretty good right now. There was even talk the Dragonborn had saved the world, so hey, no more worrying about that. Things could coast along easy like and he could retire. So now, the bandit chief was allowing himself a nice break. Have some mead, enjoy the clouds passing on by, recount how many gold pieces he looted. You know, gotta enjoy the little things.

A small rumble from the caverns behind him. His base was located in a mountain not that far from Whiterun. Had a nice view of it too. For some strange reason, he had found it belonging to another bandit crew. Most of them were dead by the time his crew had got there, but hey, free base.

It was probably his crew moving some of the heavier loot around and dropping it. They had raided a caravan the other day, they were still sorting all the stuff they had. Clumsy sods, the lot of them. Still, loyal enough. Stupid as all hell, but loyal.

Opening his book, he settled on his last page.

Act IV, Scene III, Continued.

Lifts-Her-Tail

"Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto

Is that all you have come here for little one? To clean my chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail

I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto

So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Huh, the sound was getting louder now. Were they moving it upstairs? Oh well, it was probably nothing.

Lifts-Her-Tail

You embarrass me sir!

Crantius Colto

Fear Not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail

I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto

Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Okay, it was really getting louder now. What was going on down there? Where they moving boulders or something?

Lifts-Her-Tail

But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto

Plenty of time my sweet, plenty of

"FUS RO DAH!"

Odd, was he supposed to feel weightless? And was was he facing the mountain, not Whiterun? And why was the ground moving that much closer to him?

"Annnd it's good!" Throwing her hands up into the air, a short, petite Breton woman with long red hair tied into a ponytail dressed in scale armor with a cloak was currently celebrating over the cleared bandit lair. Her name was Amalia Farseer, know by many names, but the most famous was Dragonborn, slayer of Alduin. Behind her, the ever loyal housecarl named Lydia. Dressed in steel armor as always, but sporting a nice glass sword at her side.

"Honor to you, my Thane." She said, flicking the sword clear of some blood, "But...you do know that was the bounty, right?"

A second passed by as Amalia processed this.

"Aw crap."

Finding the body was a lot easier than you'd think, it mostly involved tracking down the bloody splatter on the pavement.

Kneeling down next to the former redguard bandit, Amalia poked it with a stick.

"My Thane, what are you doing?" Lydia asked, searching the body for something that could be used for identification.

"Making sure he's dead Lydia."

"My Thane, you blew him off a mountain side. I don't think he's going to be revived soon. Or at all." Lydia rummaged through the body, "There we go. A journal, that will suffice….My Thane, what are you reading?"

"I dunno. It was on the ground. I think he was reading it before I fusrodahed." Amalia said, shrugging, "Whose Crantius Colto?"

Lydia furrowed her brow, "Do you mean Crassius Curio?"

"No, I mean...huh."

"What is it?"

"Written by Crassius Curio, I think this is a self insert."

"...Good to know, my Thane."

"My lord, as you are aware, the Stormcloaks have retaken The Reach, we simply must send some-"

"Enough." Balgruuf the Greater snapped, cutting his Steward, Proventus Avenicci, off. Ugh, it was too early in the morning for this. With the Imperial-Stormcloak truce now over, the two sides were at it again. With their new territory "negotiated" in the peace talk, both sides were now more than ever, ready to tear each other's throat out. And now his Steward was increasing his protests to back the Imperials.

He mentally sighed, he missed the days where things were simple, go there, kill this, get reward. Ah well, at the very least, he had rule over a sizeable hold, with good, loyal people.

Well, except for The Gray-Manes, but hey, nothing's perfect.

"My lord, I-" Cut off once again, the doors to Dragonsreach were opened, and in stepped in their resident adventures/comedy duo.

"Ah, what brings you here, Dragonborn?" Jarl Balgruuf asked, already knowing the answer as the two walked up the steps.

"Just turning in a bounty." Amalia said, holding up what was supposed to be a book of somesort, but it was soaked in blood, and was that...bone?

There was silence in the court.

"I'll admit, I could've planned it better." Amalia admitted, "But I still get the bounty, right?"

Lydia sighed, "Honor to you, my Thane."

So, yeah, um, hi. This Skyrim fic, as you noticed, is short. The reason for that? It's the start of a oneshot series I hope to write. To those of you unaware: a oneshot series is sorta like a lot of self contained stories. With each chapter being their own genre and length. For instance, one could be a joke about the "arrow in the knee" meme, and another could be a chapter length about romance. Expect this fic to be updated randomly, as this is more or less just something to do when I have free time. Still, I hope this becomes something worth following.

Truly Wandering, Outlaw.