It was a gorgeous day in Ooo's central Grass Lands. A perpetual warm breeze rolled over the ocean of pastures and daises, busily tended by colonies of fat bumblebees. Out over yonder, the Tree House of Ooo's most famous heroes stood erect but for once not forlorn. Around the perimeter spanning at least three acres sprung dozens upon dozens of pavilion tents that alternated between striking colors of spring-green and a crisp crimson that stood out against the meadow backdrop.

But I am afraid that we will not be opening there, where all the fun is. No, it just wouldn't do to showcase the meat of today's festivities at the very beginning; then what would we have to look forward too? The wedding? The bedding?

Do what you can to forget about what will happen later, for we shall begin with a pair of lifelong friends awaiting the arrival of some very important guests.

"I hate these things."

"What?" Jake asked with his lips curled in a simper. "The fact that we have to wear these fancy-pants getups, or just weddings in general?" Jake pulled at the collar of his green leather doublet to emphasize its absurd tightness.

Curled up on his shoulder, Shelby the Worm looked hilariously bemused with his black frilly collar dancing in the breeze about his neck. "Both," was all he said.

Jake's smile was cocksure. "Aw, cheer up man. Our boy Finn's getting married - "

"Even though he's seventeen."

" - we get to wear these fancy getups - "

"No comment."

" - we have the fan-tastical honor of meeting the royal envoys!"

"You do that on a daily basis!"

Jake finally sighed, heavily, his demeanor deflating like a balloon as he did. "Yeah, you're right. This is pretty sucky. But hey! We're doing it for Finn."

"Yeah, sure. I guess." He sounded less than honored. Little Shelby gave off what could only be a heavy sigh, but in Jake's ears it sounded like the whistle of a child. "Don't get me wrong, it's awesome that this is happening to Finn and that a princess getting married is about as rare as oxygen turning into gold, but I just think this is all a little much. Like, why all the bells and whistles? Just give me a freakin' ring and let's get busy, know what I mean?"

A bout of laughter burst from Jake's lips. He slapped his knee and clutched his belly until the humor wore off and he was able to stand straight once more, though remnants of a smirk still danced its way across his lips. "I get it, I get it," he said. "But mind you that Finn is the technical prince of the Grass Lands, and he's marrying the princess of the Fire Kingdom. The two of 'em are practically opposites, and yet they're defying nature and stuff to be together."

"'Nature...and stuff'?"

"Think of it like if Space Angel Princess was to marry Hudson Abadeer," Jake explained. "Two people who should be natural enemies, giving a big fat 'talk to the hand' to society and merging their kingdoms into one big dynasty! How could that not be worth all the attention in the world?"

Shelby blinked once. Twice. "Wait, so who is SAP marrying?"

The dog groaned, pinching between his brows with two gloved fingers. "Look, just smile and shut up, Shelbs."

"'Kay. Should it be an open smile or closed?"

"What?"

"Just kidding. Hey look, here they come now! Just over the hill! How convenient."

Their coming heralded by a gust of hot wind, Jake and Shelby could spot from across a fold of hills the first of the crimson banners bearing the sigil of a golden fire emerge from behind a green hillock. "Man, there's so many," Jake muttered uneasily, as he watched the grass curl, blacken and catch brief fire before going out under the hooves of the approaching Fire Stallions. "It looks like they brought half the Fire Kingdom with them," he said, looking upon the numerous banners waving tall from the column of fire people; their flickering heads, those who had such, formed a dark cloud of smoke above the company and an uneasy dread in Jake's belly. They certainly knew how to make an entrance, these Flame People.

Planted in the soil on his left, Jake wrapped one hand around the pole of their "kingdom's" banner, a gold sword sheathed in vines on a spring-green field, and waved it to the company as the head of their column made it over the second hill, and the tail-end finally marched over the first. "How many banners do you count?" he asked Shelby.

The worm shaded his eyes with the end of his body. "I count nine...no, wait, pretty sure twenty."

"Twenty?" he hissed, aghast. Jake for some reason hadn't expected there to be so many. "So it's ten Flame People for every banner," he muttered, beginning to count with his fingers and grow extras. "So that makes...this many." Seconds later he held up his hands, molded so each had a hundred little fingers waggling about.

Shelby gulped. "Hope Neptr made enough pies."

"Thank Glob he's never-ending." Despite that, Jake had his doubts considering the size of this wedding, what with the Candy Kingdom bringing its own ensemble. He assumed that BMO was already on the other side of the Grass Lands, awaiting their arrival.

Shelby looked on at the host of Flame People as their column conquered the third and final hill and was now close enough to start exuding the odor of grass their demonic horses scorched with every step. His beady eyes widened to the size of peas when he noticed something big. "Uh, Jake," he said, a light confusion dancing in his voice, "I see a litter."

Jake squinted his eyes sharply. The worm was right, but he himself couldn't make out what the thing looked like.

Luckily, Shelby's superior eyesight prevailed. "It's orange with satin curtains," he said. "And a bronze three-pronged fireball is topping the thing."

"A three-pronged fireball?"

"Yeah...that's what I just said."

Jake ignored his friend's dry humor. That made no sense! Flame Princess was already at the Tree Fort getting ready, and her brother who was leading the host was of a military position, and thus was the one undoubtedly riding the biggest and burliest of the Fire Stallions at the head of the party. So who could this be? The wait would be insufferable. "We'll meet 'em halfway," Jake snapped.

He tore their own "royal standard" from the ground and took three wide-stretched steps towards the column. When the Flame People saw them coming, a shout from the captain in unclear Flamish brought them to a halt, banners hovering weakly in the breeze as they did.

The company of two-hundred Flame People was made up of all three sorts. There was the Stony Flame People, who all looked like Jack-O-Lanterns made from rock black as pitch with fire hissing from every pore in their body and traditionally lived along the Fire Kingdom's lava banks and oceans.

The Gaseous Flame People of the Fire Kingdom's volcanoes stood out the most, as their entire bodies were composed entirely of flame. Because of their weightlessness, all of them rode on coal chairs carried through the air by hot air balloons that were controlled by the occupying person's skillfully regulated body temperature (though because of his royal stature the ex-Flame King was given a suit of magnificent armor to give his naturally form a physical shape). Jake and Shelby could easily tell apart the persons of interest by how extravagant their balloons were, and there was a couple here and there. They were the fewest of the company, though by no means did that mean there was a sparse few, as Jake counted at least thirty on his approach.

And finally the most common of Flame People and what made up the bulk of the column were the Fire Elementals. There's really no definitive profile I can give you of Fire Elementals, sorry to say. Every one of them was unique in design, in that, some were bulky while others thin, some tall and other short, few had the semblance of candles while even fewer loosely resembled person-sized volcanoes. More than one looked like a person with glowing skin but many hardly looked human at all. In the end, I suppose the only traits shared among Fire Elementals was a flaming head and a sour attitude. All three were well presented as the Fire Kingdom's retinue.

The knight leading this column of two-hundred Flame People was undoubtedly Flame Princess's brother, of whom Jake merrily recalled humiliating Finn in front of during that whole 'Jakesuit' affair. And he seemed just as unfriendly then as he does now. Jake has seen many faces in his line of work, and this was a soldier's face if he ever saw one. His face was bright but saturnine, With thin jagged brows above narrow eyes as red and glowing as twin pools of magma, always sizing a person up before he spoke a word. The black set he wore with a red ruby grafted in the breast was made entirely from molten rock, cracked and veined with lava that ran through like blood. Appropriate, as the soldier scarce removed his armor and was practically a part of his being.

He slammed a fist against his own shoulder, a common Flamish greeting. "You have the honor of being in the presence of Slag, Captain of the Fire Kingdom's standing army and brother to the betrothed. And here are my younger brothers, Fuego and Llama."

From behind Slag's mighty red steed came two little Flame Persons riding on Fire Ponies. Like their father, the princelings were of the Gaseous variety, and given magnificent steel suits to give their forms physical shape. One of the twins, Fuego, had a flame as dark and red as the setting sun, while Llama looked a lot like his father. Both had a childish mirth in their little smiling faces and little gold circlets atop their flickering heads. "Hullo!" they said at once, bowing just as timely.

"Greetings, barons of the Fire Kingdom." Jake bowed, as did Shelby from atop his shoulder. The Fire Elemental leading the column gave a dutiful bow in return. "I am Ser Jake," he continued with practiced courtesy, "loyal knight, fool, and servant of the Grass Prince of the Grass Lands. This is my associate, Shelby."

"Sup."

Jake resisted the flash of urge to flick the worm off his shoulder. "It is a great honor for you to be staying at our kingdom," he concluded.

Slag wheeled his stallion around to face the company. "My brothers, molten mamas, knights and warriors and nobles, see how the gracious Grass Prince greets us. His Magnificence has been so kind as to send his doggy servile to bring us to my sister's wedding."

Shelby snorted back laughter, and Jake forced amusement himself. "I apologize if the Prince has disappointed you, Captain. The Grass Lands aren't much of a kingdom-"

"No, it isn't." Slag pursed his lips, sizing Jake up for what could be the twentieth time that minute. "And last I heard, Ser Jake is dead - slain by his own Prince to win my sister's affection." His voice was low, even, and somehow a little cold. As cold as Jake's blood became right then.

The dog frowned, shifting his weight on his other foot. Remember your courtesy, he told himself. Remember the tradition. Remember all those boring hours you spent in PB's classroom. "That was four years ago," he simply stated.

"Correct, doggy," mocked the captain. "And four years ago, it is as much of a lie as it is now."

Jake knew Slag was just trying to unnerve him; everyone in Ooo and beyond knew that Jake the Dog is alive and well. But all knew of the little Flame Queen's decree for complete and total honesty as well. "Times were different then," Jake worded carefully.

Slag nodded. "Can't argue with that. You tried to help your buddy get over his paramour-that-was-not-to-be by snatching my sister's hand like a fat boy with a sweet tooth." Jake frowned, but his teachings made him smart enough to at least keep his mouth shut. The captain smiled. "He did have quite the sweet tooth after he lost his arm, as I've heard. How many buckets of spit did he swap with all those princesses, I wonder?"

"You shouldn't pay attention to rumors man," Jake advised, failing to withhold his threatening tone. "They can get you into quite a mess."

The captain shrugged, indifferent to the dog's threat. "I've learned what to believe and what not to believe. Usually, if it's too good to be true, that is normally the case." Slag gave Jake a moment to soak in his words before asking, "Did you know my mother? The Flame Queen?" Jake shook his head. "In a time long before she passed giving birth to the twins, my mother once claimed that we were living proof of the Four's benevolence. Do you know why that is?"

"Nope," Jake admitted warily.

"Such a stupid dog. Well, if they were cruel then they would have made my siblings and I bloodthirsty usurpers, almost as evil as my father. But no. Instead, his firstborn son turned out to be good. His daughter turned out to be good. And just as mother hoped, the twins are sweet as sugar. Four children. Four, good children. How is that not proof of Grob's benevolence? Or Gob's wisdom? There's a reason for that, 'Ser' Jake. A reason why we were all the way we are. I serve my kingdom, my sister is the new Flame Queen, and only the Four knows what mischief my brothers will wrought when they come of age." At his sides, Fuego and Llama beamed proudly. Slag reached down and clasped the redder child's shoulder. "I love my family, 'Ser' Jake. And by my sister's wish, I must be honest: I hope your brother never finds a way to touch her, to soil her with his soft flesh and weak seed. She is too good for that little whelp."

A scowl exploded across Jake's face. But to be completely honest himself, he was actually at a loss for words. He had no idea how to counter that, especially something so vile. Luckily, Shelby always had a wisecrack at hand, and boy did he not disappoint:

"Hey, Slugger, with all the respect in the world, can I just say that your sister is really freaking loud when she sleeps over?"

Jake completely lost it, as did nearly all two-hundred Flame People in the company. Nearly. Slag's frown could not get any deeper than it did right now, and he looked just about ready to turn Shelby into a shriveled crisp. All the while his blazing red stare was locked on Jake, and his hands tightened around the reins of his stallion like it was the throat of his enemy.

"It was nice of you to let Flame Princess have the entire Tree Fort to herself, Finn - I mean, Grass Prince." Princess Bubblegum put a hand to her mouth, stifling a ladylike giggle. Her other worked to smooth out her pink cocktail dress.

"Yeah," the boy muttered, half in thought. "These traditions are weird. Why am I Grass Prince again?" With a candlestick as his only light source, Finn had to hold the thing underneath his chin to get a good look at himself in the grimy mirror. "You think my hair is fine like this?" he asked, playing with the tumble of blonde curls that fell around his head.

"Relax, you look sexy," Bubblegum assured him without the slightest hint of a tease in her tone.

Finn turned away from the mirror, holding the candlestick between him and PB. In the darkness of the attic, his shadow danced, tall and monstrous against the wall. "How do I look?" he asked.

Bubblegum thoughtfully rubbed her chin, looking over Finn's black tux and bow tie like one would a piece of art. Finally she stepped away smiling and said, "An A-plus, give or take."

"Give or take? Math." Finn strode a bit, adjusting his cufflinks so they covered his green, thorny arm.

Bubblegum noticed this and put a hand on his shoulder. "She doesn't care."

"I know."

The princess offered a little smile. "And the reason why you're Grass Prince is because, in a traditional royal wedding, the prince and princess must unveil their names before their kingdoms to symbolize that no secret shall be between them. Even if the couple already knows each other's names. It's silly, yes. But also sweet."

A smirk graced Finn's flawless face. "I don't even know FP's real name. Kinda excited about that. A little nervous too. That's normal, right?"

PB only had to look at his trembling hands to know the answer to that. "It'll be fine." She took his hands in her own and looked him in the eye. "She loves you, Finn."

"I know," he said, nodding.

"And it all just goes by like that." Bubblegum snapped her fingers to emphasize her point. "I say a few words, you guys exchange a couple things, a name here, a drink, a kiss, and then it's time for the feast."

"Actually PB..." Finn bit his lip. "I'm afraid that for an even like this only the one, true King of Ooo is suitable to bless this wedding."

"WHAT!?"

The boy erupted into laughter, and once it took her a minute to figure out her was joking Bubblegum joined in. But after the humor died Finn's face suddenly went pallid with realization. "Two kingdoms are riding on this thing," he muttered.

The princess gave him a look. "One. The Grass Lands aren't a kingdom, really. Mine is just here for the formalities."

The boy shrugged meekly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Deep inside, the princess who knew him well was sure that his heart was still pounding away like a wardrum. But she didn't pry any further; her best friend was seventeen now, after all, and could take care of himself.

After five minutes of sitting in the waning candlelight, Bubblegum stood up to see if Flame Princess was ready.

Yep. This is just a random idea I had. Probably gonna make this into a three chapter story if reception is good.