Harry then reached into Hermoine's breast, ripping the blood-soaked pulsating heart from its socket. Grasping the heart in his hand, he took a delicious juicy bite, chewed it up and swallowed it, feeling the blood flow through his digestive system. Then Harry threw the broken heart into a nearby wood chipper, pouring the bloody remains into a syringe and mercilessly injecting it into the withered folds of his scrotum, screaming with delight.

"How does your girlfriend taste, Harry?" Hagrid asked.

"Like some pussy with ventricles." Harry replied, coughing up blood and mucus.

Harry's demonic guitar, Fuckslayer, transformed into a fire-breathing motorcycle made out of space dragons with machine guns. Using this ultimate instrument of badassery, Harry tore through the demonic zombie horde, harnessing the force of a thousand dragons to kill fucklings and people he didn't like.

Hagrid got run over by Harry's Fuckcycle and was flattened into a zombie raccoon pancake. Harry thought about juice.