She has never seen Coulson like this. Sure, she had seen him in various situations and conditions. Angry. Tired. Excited. Wounded. Near death. Even if he still denied the severity of his wound that time to which May just usually rolled her eyes. And not to forget exhausted. Which had been worse than near death.

But never, not even in the most dire circumstances, had she seen him this… lost. Broken.

As she watches them now through the hospital room's observation window one thought keeps popping up in her head. They are a unit. How close of a unit she doesn't know. Not even after all these years. Even staying at her mother's house for two days last year hadn't shed light on that. By now she has just given up wondering.

They are a unit. That is the status quo and really all she needs to know. They are a unit. Inseparable and indestructible.

Until now.

And it was all her fault.

She watches as Coulson's hand lifts from where it had been tangled with May's fingers and pushes a strand of hair out of her face. His knuckles graze her cheek and she suddenly thinks that this is the most tender moment she has ever witnessed between them. And the most heartbreaking.

Although May is awake where she lies in the hospital bed she doesn't react. Just closes her eyes for a few moments and takes a deep breath from the looks of it. Her left arm is in a cast and cradled against her chest while she stares into space. Not seeing anything. Or not wanting to see.

And Coulson…

He looks up at Maria at that moment and his eyes widen momentarily. She gestures for him to meet her in the hallway and he does that after leaning forward and softly saying something to May. She doesn't respond and by now he doesn't expect her to.

"Hi." She says nervously. She doesn't know how welcome she is.

Coulson just nods in response before turning and checking in on May. They are standing shoulder to shoulder, keeping watch over her.

"Has she said anything?"

A deep sigh from next to her. "She gave a full and detailed report as soon as she got out."

"And since then?"

"Nothing."

Now it's her turn to sigh. "Fury has been calling me since he got wind of it."

"What did you tell him?"

Maria turns her head and looks at Coulson's profile. His face gives nothing away. "Nothing. I have no idea what I SHOULD tell him. What the hell even happened in there."

"She took care of it." Coulson quickly defends his partner.

"Yes. She did." She says tersely. "And now?"

Coulson crosses his arms. "Tell him I'm handling it."

"You're handling it?" Maria gestures at the human body curled in on itself on the other side of the glass. "She hasn't said a word in 24 hours. And I know you probably haven't left her side , but how the hell are you handling it?"

Her phone rings before Coulson has to answer. He turns to face her, his eyes darting down to the phone in her hand before he meets her gaze with new-found resolve. "Just tell him I'm handling it."

Then he leaves her to answer to Fury and enters May's room again. He makes sure to firmly shut the door behind him.

Maria takes a fortifying breath before she answers. "Sir? Yes, I'm on location in Bahrain."

::

She hates bureaucracy. She hates it even more when she has to spin her red tape in a state ruled by patriarchism. And with tension running high she was only willing to compromise so much. But that's what her second was for. And she had trained Decker well.

Maria makes her way through the hospital's corridors. She is thankful the air conditioning gives her a reprieve from the hot desert sun. When she finds Coulson, he is standing outside May's room, looking worse than the day before. His eyes never waver from what's happening inside the hospital room which gives Maria a second to look him over. He is wearing a new suit but whoever supplied him with clothes forgot a razor. Or Coulson simply hadn't bothered, afraid it would take too much time. Time spent away from May's side.

"Any change?" She asks from a few feet away.

He nods curtly, not bothering to turn around.

Maria comes to stand next to him, much like they did the day before. Shoulder to shoulder. Only this time May is not alone.

"Who is he?" She asks in surprise and takes in the black man in the tailored suit talking to May. And May actually talking back.

If anything, Coulson tenses up even more. "Andrew Garner."

She looks at him as if that name should mean anything to her.

Coulson sighs. "Her husband."

Her.

Husband.

Melinda May's husband.

What?

How was that even possible?

She always thought if anyone deserved that title it would be the man next to her. Which probably explained why Coulson was currently strung tighter than Barton's bow.

"What? I mean… She's married? But you…? Since when?"

Coulson actually cracks a small smile at that and she's glad her utter confusion is so funny to him. "Ever since the academy."

"You mean all this time?"

Coulson nods.

"All this time since I know her and you and the both of you. She has been married?"

He nods again.

Maria knows she is not handling this very well. But with all the things that happened in the last 72 hours - from her getting this mission, to asking Coulson and May to accompany her, to the hostage situation - this is just the cherry on top of the sundae that has been this shitty operation.

She wants to ask so much more but the look on Coulson's face doesn't invite any more questions on the matter. It's not his story to tell she supposes.

"What's he doing here?" Maria asks instead.

"I called him."

"Does he know…?" Maria trails off, unsure how to phrase it.

Coulson seems to know what she means nonetheless. "Yes. He's been working with us for years."

They watch as Melinda May's husband gets up from his chair and makes his way out of the room. Maria notices that May doesn't follow him with her eyes and instead opts to look out the window.

"Agent Hill, can you give us a moment?" Coulson asks her as soon as the husband had closed the door behind him.

She takes them both in. How they seize each other up. And knows that she'd rather stay. But a look from Coulson is enough to make her nod and knock on May's door. She doesn't wait for an answer, instead gently opens the door and closes it behind her.

May still faces away from her so Maria walks over to the other side in her bed to get a good look at her face.

She looks… okay.

There is none of the usual playful glint in her eyes or the small smile she wears most of the time, but otherwise…

"Hey." She says tentatively.

"Has Coulson hit him yet?"

Maria's eyes dart towards the observation window at May's unexpected question. "Uhm. No. Doesn't look like it."

May doesn't say anything to that and keeps her gaze fixed somewhere left of Maria's legs.

"So." Maria takes a seat in the chair vacated by the husband and leans back. "I have a few questions I need to ask you."

May's reaction is instantaneous. She doesn't say anything, doesn't even move, really, but Maria can see the tension inside her rising. She sees it in the way May's hands tighten around the bed sheets and eyes dart around the room. Still not meeting her gaze.

Maria takes a deep breath, hoping her instincts are right. "Why did you never tell me you're married to a Calvin Klein model?"

May relaxes instantly but if she knows Maria is trying to change the subject on purpose she doesn't let on. "What did Coulson tell you?"

"Just that you've been married to him since the Academy. He didn't really want to elaborate."

May actually rolls her eyes at that, which makes Maria think that she is still in there somewhere, no matter what Coulson seems to think.

Maria doesn't know what else to say so she just enjoys the companionable silence. It's what May'd prefer on a normal day anyway.

It's May who interrupts the silence in a low but steady voice. "We met while I was in the Academy. We got married right after, hoping it would keep us from drifting apart when SHIELD would inevitably send me to different corners of the world. We separated six months after that. He is still working with SHIELD, though."

It's more than Maria ever thought she would get on the matter and she thinks hard before voicing her next question. "You're not divorced?"

May just shrugs. "We were never in the same city long enough to take care of it. Let alone the same time zone."

Maria guesses hemisphere is probably just as accurate. "So what does your mother think of him?"

Bahrain resolved itself pretty quickly. At least for her.

May was relocated to Washington for the time being. And although Coulson had tried to postpone it as long as possible, he was too good of an agent not to be sent on missions. With or without May.

So Maria knows she and May are in the same city. She has even visited her a few times, every visit being shorter than the previous one. But it's still a surprise when May suddenly walks into her office on a Tuesday afternoon.

"May." She looks up from her report and smiles at the older agent.

"Hill." A courteous nod as she takes a stand in front of her desk, her hands folded behind her back. It's a sight Maria has seen countless times. And yet, with the hard set of May's face, it's not the same.

"How are you?"

"Good."

"How is therapy going?" Maria asks carefully.

"My arm is fine, thank you."

Not what she meant.

"So what brings you here?"

"Last night one of our prototypes crashed three hundred miles west of Yakutsk."

Maria herself has only gotten the memo an hour ago. How May knows that while on administrative leave was beyond her.

"You know I can neither confirm nor deny that."

May ignores her objection. "It was a type five prototype installed in the on-board computer. We can't leave that technology in Russian hands. You need someone to retrieve it."

"And you are volunteering?"

May just nods, her resolve clear on her face.

Maria takes a deep breath. Where was Coulson when you needed him to talk sense into someone? "If it was any other supervisor, you know they wouldn't let you back in the field. Not now."

Maybe not ever. She knows May hasn't passed her psych evals yet.

"Yes." May says as if she knew that argument was coming. "But you know I can do it. Three months ago you wouldn't have even hesitated."

True. But three months ago May wouldn't have volunteered for a suicide mission.

Maria heaves a deep breath. The problem is that May is right. They can't allow the Russians access to this kind of technology. "Fine. Pack a bag. You leave in an hour."

::

It's four weeks before Maria meets Coulson again. Four weeks and three more solo missions for May. All of them designed to fail.

"Hey." He greets her in passing and Maria quickly adapts to his strides.

"We need to talk."

"I heard you managed to retrieve enough information for our little coup in South America, well done."

"It's about May."

This makes him stop in the middle of the corridor and he sends his entourage scrambling to get out of their way with just one glance.

"What about her?" He asks impatiently.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Three weeks ago."

"She's been going on missions again."

Coulson frowns. "I didn't know she passed her psych eval."

Maria tries to draw a breath for courage. "She hasn't."

"Then how…?" His befuddlement is clear on his face.

"She's been volunteering for solo missions. And she's too good for anyone to pass up that offer."

Realization settles in him like dead weight. "The lost prototype? The Assimov mission?"

Maria nods to all of them. All the suicide missions May threw herself into and yet miraculously made it out of. "You have to talk to her."

Coulson focuses on her with a newfound intensity. "Me? You have been letting her go!"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"Stop her." He insists.

"Right." She scoffs. "As if I could talk sense into her. And even if, you know my superiors would never so no to what she has to offer."

He knew the system they served as well as she did. Fury had made sure of that.

Coulson shakes his head in defeat. "I'll take care of it."

::

May never comes to ask for a mission again. Maria tries to call her, but she doesn't answer her phone. She spies a glimpse of her in the Atrium one day so she knows she is still here and well. She just wants space.

So Maria gives her space.

For all of three weeks.

Then she can't stand it anymore. This in-between. And yes. She still feels guilty for taking Coulson and May along with her to Bahrain when she should have been able to handle the situation on her own to begin with. It's something May picks up on and tries to absolve her of. It doesn't really help. Not when Maria Hill finds out that Agent Melinda May has been assigned to push paper around her desk.

"What did you do?"

"You realize this is the men's room, right?" Coulson asks casually from where he washes his hands in the sink.

She just gives him a look in return, signaling that she could care less.

"What did you do?" She repeats herself.

"What are you talking about?"

"What did you say to her?"

"Why?" He asks arrogantly.

"Because she is worse."

He shakes his head. "That's impossible."

Maria is in his face instantly. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her what she needed to hear." Coulson concedes. "That she can't go back to the way things were."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Her tone is equal parts disbelieving as it is furious.

"Because it's the truth. There's no point pretending none of this happened. It did happen. She has to let go of that and move on."

Maria shakes her head in disbelief. "Like you let go of her and moved on?"

He is a man who is used to wearing an impenetrable mask of professional bravado. So she is not surprised that his face gives nothing away as he calmly walks past her and towards the door, leaving her standing alone on the middle of the men's room.