Detective Skywarp:

And the Mystery of the Weirdin' Out Trine-Mate

(case 1.)

(part 2.)

Well this probably isn't going to work. It's honestly past 2 a.m. at the moment, but I figured I may as well get around to writing (some of) this as I, at the very least, want to wrap up "case 1." and continue working on another story of mine.

Really got no clue where this will go. I have an idea, but there's no guarantee it'll go down that way. So let's see, shall we?

~~uOu~~

Whispers of a secret underground drug operation were suddenly flying across the Nemesis. It was a different story each time it was told, the only consistency being Shockwave was almost always the villain or Narcotics-Overlord. Whether he was using drones to "illegally" transport crystalshine, maccni and SubTar to worlds throughout the galaxy, or standing all ominous in the dark on an abandoned street-corner, waiting for a Steelhie to arrive at the drop, Shockwave was some sort of shady character; it didn't take long for stories of the Drug-Lord's eminent (and surely soon to pass) downfall to surface, either.

"He'll be caught! Once the drone spies realize he's been playing them all along, they'll have enough proof to break free and bring him to an end."

"I'm tellin' ya, Misty will be the one who takes him down! Secret secretaries are kept secret for a reason! You dun'go bangin' what you're gonna be seein' tomorrow."

"All these idiots... It'll be the mutated drug-zombies that'll take over."

Of course the soldiers could hardly be blamed for indulging in (and clearly enjoying) these outlandish rumours; they had been so bored as of late with no battles or excitement that desperation was seeping through them, making them so very susceptible to Skywarp's lies.

Well...there always was the chance that Shockwave actually was a Drug-dealing-zombie-king-secretary-banging-Overlord, but one mystery at a time.

Time had slipped past Skywarp incredibly quickly. With the business of spreading as many base versions of the drug-rumours as possible, (occasionally dropping the hint that "somehow" Starscream is involved) Skywarp still had a scrap-ton of work to do.

After the berthroom incident, (as he'd taken to calling it) Starscream had slowly begun to disappear: working less shifts in the Command Centre, never really appearing in the rec. room, taking fewer and fewer flying missions, etcetera, etcetera. Point was, everyone was beginning to see progressively smaller amounts of him. But these changes, unlike his dramatic personality alternation, were indeed barely distinguishable, and Skywarp might never have noticed if he wasn't paying an unsettling amount of attention to his Trine-Leader these days.

However, as a little more time wore on, mechs were starting to notice, too. It was apparent that everyone had taken note of the shift in Starscream's personality, (whatever their thoughts, Skywarp didn't know) but his absence raised questions.

Where was he? What was he doing?

The villainous Shockwave rumours toned down some in light of whatever, exactly, Starscream was doing. Whenever he was spotted, it may as well have been documented; everyone became obsessed as to what he was doing. Even Megatron seemed anxious.

One afternoon, Skywarp sat thinking (he'd been doing that a shockingly surprising amount lately) in his quarters. Originally, his plan had been to spread enough rumours of plausible scenarios, and carefully watch Starscream's reactions, waiting to see if one of the tales would strike a cord and he could have an idea of the situation. The problem? Starscream didn't even appear to know about the rumours!

The idea was ridiculous, he knew. So much talk and Screamer didn't know a thing? But it seemed to be the only logical (oh how he hated that word) explanation. For, you guessed it, Starscream showed absolutely nothing. And Skywarp meant nothing. Not like he was acting innocent nothing, (as if he could really pull that off anyway...) but legitimately he held no response to the gossip.

This was because, as far as Skywarp could see, (however littler he saw him) he never heard any of it – he was completely and totally uninterested in what was being talked about. In fact, he only spoke to anyone if it was unavoidable!

It was down right structural-frame chilling.

A groan passed from his intake.

And now the rumours were beginning to recede in favour of everyone more interested in Starscream's activities. With a grumble he shook his helm. Ironic, how uncovering his actions was what he was trying to accomplish all along.

But now everyone else was! So how in the bloody hell was he supposed to use that to his advanta-!

Skywarp froze. Everyone else was. Of course! How could he have been so idiotic?!

"I'm brilliant!" he shrieked excitedly, trying desperately not to start hopping around like a sparkling high on sweets.

Starscream must have noticed everyone's suspicion of him - the mech was more paranoid than Breakdown and Red Alert combined! It just had to be on his nerves that everyone was on to him!...whatever he was doing.

A triumphant smirk lit the Teleportor's expression. He would get to the bottom of this.

A little whiles later, Skywarp was heading all casual-like to Starscream's quarters, appearing disinterested in much as he rounded the final corner and arrived at his Trine-Leader's door. Completely at ease, he entered a recently-stolen override code, and walked straight in. Knocking would be far too suspicious.

Starscream was sitting over at a small couch leaning against the far wall, at least thirty data-pads stacked on either side of him as he sat bent over one.

"Skywarp." his weirdly calm voice called without him looking up.

Said mech refused to shudder. "Screamer," he replied subtly, not wanting to seem mellow, but acting excited could raise alarm.

Not bothering to wait for a reply or ask, he trudged over, shoved the stack of datapads on Starscream's left aside, and plopped his aft down. "You seen TC?" He jumped right in, sounding bored.

"Out completing a scouting mission." He shot him a pointed look. "The one you should be on at the moment."

Skywarp, obviously, knew exactly where Thundercracker was and what he was doing, but on regular days, he'd require an excuse to get in and annoy the living scrap out of Starscream, so he'd come armed with a false one (as he often did, but that was just details).

"I'm boooored!" One which he wasted no time in getting at.

Instead of a scowl, snap, glower or other, Starscream merely sighed. "Of course you are." He shook his helm. "That established, I am too busy-"

"But I'm boooored!"

Starscream rolled his optics. "Then go frag a door."

Skywarp paused. That was probably the most spirited, Starscream-ish response he'd gotten from him in months.

Shaking off the phenomenon, Skywarp quickly recovered. "No doors to frag! Everyone's too busy hidin' behind them all, gossipin' about some big unda-ground drug deal and your disappearing! What's up with that all anyway?"

"Myself being too overloaded with paper-work to mingle with you idiots, or some mythical drug deal I've never heard of?"

"Er...both?"

"I just told you, and it doesn't exist. I have no idea who informed you about an underground narcotics dealership, – of all things – but I can say with certainty it's a fantasy concocted by a bored mech with nothing better to do." His gaze locked with his. Another pointed look.

Skywarp pretended to be affronted. "Moi?"

"You would." Starscream answered flatly. "If you had nothing to be doing otherwise."

Skywarp scoffed. "If I could be havin' the time of my life, running around an' spreadin' rumours about a major drug incorp., why in the name of Primus would I be here talkin' to you?"

This seemed to settle whatever accusations that were rumbling inside of Starscream's head, and his Trine-Leader shrugged, settling back against the couch. "So what is it you want from me exactly? I'm extremely busy and can't afford to be wasting time."

Biggest moment. The chance to sell. He needed to get closer to Starscream, discover his operations, and this moment was how.

"Ya wanna go flyin'?"

Starscream's expression morphed into something...odd. Like it was trying to be angry, but it was just too estranged to manage it. "Are...are your audio receptors functioning? I just, literally just, told you I am extremely busy, and you pop that up from...where exactly?"

"Uhhhh, Krypton." Skywarp replied dully. He rolled his eyes. "Do ya wanna go or not?"

"Get out. Now."

"But do-"

"NOW!"

Three hours later, after much brooding over how that could have possibly have went so utterly wrong, (really, is firing one's null-rays six times in quick succession at your Trine-Mate necessary?) Skywarp was sitting in the rec. room, waiting for Thundercracker to appear.

He let a sad sigh drift from his vents. It was time. He'd figured he could solve this by himself, but...TC...was needed. Perhaps he'd even have a bit of hindsight into what was going on with their Trine-Leader.

As if on cue, all blue in cheery smiles (for a change), Thundercracker walked in. Grinning at him the sort of grin one has after a long and beautiful flight, he strut towards his table, pulling up a chair and saying, "Hey, how's it going 'Warp?"

Skywarp refused to waste any time. He looked at him, square in the faceplate. "What the frag's up with Starscream?"

Still smiling, and not having fully sat down, Thundercracker gracefully reversed his action, giving a bright, "Nope!" before turning on a thruster and walking away.

"Thundercracker!" Skywarp yelled loudly, but the blue Seeker was already gone.

~~O_u~~

Oh Thundercracker, what are you involved in? C:

So how'd you like it? I was a little surprised at the positive response of the last chapter, and though yes this came out later than I figured it would, here it is and I hope you enjoyed. I actually had fun writing this! (Who knows, maybe now I can finally get back to working on my main story.) But as stated in the last chapter, I don't take this fic seriously nor is it meant to be. It's silly, and I guess a strange attempt at crack or something, but certainly not serious.

That being said, I really hope you enjoyed my sleep-depraved writing. I technically wrote this on two different nights, a couple of days apart from each other, both times it was passed 2 a.m. As of right now, it's almost four. So I've posted it, (well...will be, but if your reading it already has...or something,) and am going to bed.

Thank you for your comments last chapter, Thunderweb and Guest - they were wonderful to read. :)

I'll see you all soon and please leave a review telling me what you think. I doubt I'll go far with this story, (at least not yet) but I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions on my silly, sleep-deprived writing. Funny, what a brain running solely on dwindling caffeine comes up with.

~Scarlet