A/N: I think I kind of like this one. It's one of my better stories.

Love.

A high level of affection, most of the time directed at a person of the opposite gender. A feeling that is said to be above all others, the greatest emotion mankind can feel, is said to be complete bliss, intoxicating and bitter at the same time.

She wonders if it is true sometimes, wonders if family love is something similar, because she has not felt it in years, wonders if she has ever felt it stemming from her parents who do not seem to treat her like other families treat their children.

When she meets Yukiteru – Yukki – well, not meets, but when she talks to him for the first time and sees his unconditional love for his parents and his overflowing sadness, she thinks that he knows what love is, thinks that he might be able to show her. In the end, this is why she says she will become his bride in the future, because she sees the emotion she lacks yet craves in him.

She is almost happy that night, nearly ecstatic when she tells her parents that she will introduce her husband-to-be to them soon, never noticing that they aren't listening, won't ever listen to her again. A week later she finds out that they are dead, because no thrashing fighting over the bowl of food ensues when she throws it in in an attempt at being nice, because she thought parents liked breakfast in bed. They won't move. Not anymore.

But she guesses it's alright, because her parents never loved her, have maybe not even loved each other either. The only one she will give a chance now is Yukki, he will be the only one she'll allow to love her. That's what love is, right? Right? She'll love him and he'll love her. And then there will be a happy end, she thinks as she slowly falls asleep against the wall of the room where the corpses lie and in her blissful state of ignorance and half-sleep she doesn't notice the foul smell of decay.

She continues watching him from afar, writing in her cellphone diary what he is doing every ten minutes. Not stalking, just observing, she thinks, she will be his bride after all, she has every right to look after him. She is of the opinion that if her eyes are always trained on him so faithfully, she will be rewarded with his attention. With his faithfulness in turn. With his love.

It is a long time before anything happens at all, but she thinks it's fine, she has to be patient like a good kid that will get sweets for cleaning up the living room. The longer she waits, the better the reward will be, she tells herself.

And then, suddenly, her diary can predict the future, just like his, as Deus tells her. She is swelling up with happiness, because who cares about the killing game when it provides a chance to get closer to him? She doesn't and the thought of a few more corpses to bloody her hands on does not bother her in the least, even excites her. If it is for him, she will kill them all off.

They do get closer, gradually but surely, and she nearly doesn't notice the string of diary holders pass on in her elation, bringing the end of the survival game nearer with each death. But almost is not never and she asks herself if a happy ending will be possible for them sometimes. After all, there can only be one winner, right? She forgets those thoughts soon though, as they are continuously replaced by new memories with him.

When they finally become one, it's a dream come true, her wish ever since she met him reality. It hurts a little and his thrusts are inexperienced, but nothing can milder her joy at this happening, at him being hers and her being his, the skin under her fingers, his kisses, him making love to her. It's intoxicating and she thinks she can understand love now.

In the end though, nothing lasts and before soon they are the only two people of the survival game left and he says they should commit double-suicide. She recoils, saying yes on the outside, but on on the inside she is thinking that she doesn't want to die yet, not even for him. One day, he appears before her with pills that are supposed to kill them.

She doesn't take them.

Instead, she fakes and spits them out again, right after he died, and becomes god. She is the ruler over the time-space-continuum now, she is mighty, she has power, she can bring him back. But strangely, Yukki won't move, no matter how much power she fixates on him. He just remains limp and lifeless in her arms even when she is asking, begging him to get up. He won't. She shouts at him, angry, sad, how could he? He said he loved her, he made her his, why won't he move? Why won't he live? Why won't he come back?

He doesn't answer, just like her parents did not answer her that night and she finally sees the truth she does not want to accept: He is dead. Amano Yukiteru is dead. Her chance at a happy ending is gone.

Murmur was the one with the idea that they could just create another world where the survival game has not yet started, that they could create another Yukki and in that moment the body in her arms becomes just another corpse. Of course, she can just do it again. Again and again and again, until time ends. She doesn't need this Yukki anymore, she has another one. She has another chance. She will have countless chances, she will become god again and she will see Yukki always one more time.

She plans carefully, won't let somebody else get in her way or near him. She will become one with him, no one will interfere. Yukki is hers and hers alone. Murmur has erased the most of her memories, but she still knows that he will be hers and that she will be his and that is the Happy End she is working on. Subconsciously she notices that her parents have died again, but it doesn't matter, she can always come back for them again and again and again.

She is wary of Akise, not only because he kissed Yukki, her Yukki, but also because the detective is too smart for his own good. But she can't do anything, Yukki doesn't like her hurting his so-called friends. She also does not like the number of friends Yukki has made. He doesn't need them, they will betray him in the end, they will get in her way and she will kill them if they do. He only needs her, not that Hinata girl, not Akise, not anyone.

In the end, Yukki kills them himself.

They become one again after that, this time it doesn't hurt as much and this time, there is also this weird, fluttery feeling in her belly, there is blush rising to her cheeks and there is the raw want and need she feels, something that was not there last time. It sharpens her senses and heightens her passion and this, this is so much better than the first time that it hurts. By now she thinks she understands that the first Yukki only loved her because she loved him, because he wanted someone, anyone to be near and it hurts to think that this Yukki is the same.

Then everything in her plan goes wrong as Yukki tells her that Akise showed him a dying message from his cellphone that said she was god, that she had become god in the first world, that this was already the second try. She has to kill him now. She will lock him in his dreams and he won't come back to her, because his dreams were what he really wanted from the start. Not her, not her love, he had always wanted his parents to watch the stars with him, he had wanted that girl, his first love, to be with him. She doesn't want to do this anymore, she wants to try again, she wants to get rid of that poisoning feeling of hurt and guilt and jealousy, wants to forget that she wants him, that she wants this Yukki. She has become selfish, she thinks, and turns away.

But he comes back. He comes back from a world where neither she nor her name existed, he comes back from a world of happiness. For her. She doesn't understand, isn't he supposed to be the same as the first Yukki? Wasn't he supposed to stay in his dreamworld and never return? Wasn't he supposed to die and let her move on to the next world?

And yet here he is, arms enclosing her in a warm embrace that contrasts with the cold night, whispering words of love and apologies to her. He says he will let her kill him. He says he will create a place for her to go to. He says it is fine, she should stab him, she will live. She will have a home.

The buzzing of the future changing has her hand reach for her cellphone and in that moment she decides. She brings the blade down, to stab, to kill. And yet it does not hit him as he had told her it should. The look in his eyes when he realizes she stabbed herself is so shocked, so sad, so devastatingly beautiful. In those last moments she sees the emotion they emit and it's love, yearning and longing and she knows her eyes are a mirror to his. She asks him to kiss her, one more time, one last time and when he does, their tears join at the ground they fall on. She is dying and he holds her like never before, desperate, sorrowful, loving.

This is how it should be, she thinks as she says her last words to Yukki.

This is her Happy End.