Emma could do nothing but stare at the sight before her. She was dreaming, she had to be dreaming because if she wasn't then… Regina Mills—Madam Mayor, former Evil Queen and all around badass—was standing butt nekkid in the middle of Emma Swan's bedroom and Jesus Christ what the hell was going on? Did she hit her head on something? Was she unconscious? Shit, what if she was in a coma and everything that had happened in the last two years was just a dream? Maybe she's still standing on that footpath, staring at that goddess of a woman and this was just the icing on the cake of daydream desserts.
Eyes wide, mouth gaping, Emma was lost—for thoughts, for words, for—shit she had stopped breathing and her throat was burning with the need for air. She sucked in a lungful and it wasn't enough, panic started to overwhelm her as her heart beat murderously against her chest. Fuck, was she about to have a heart attack? What were the signs again? Numbness, tingling – oh there was definite tingling, but that had nothing to do with her heart. Shit.
"If you would release me, perhaps I could conjure an outfit before you have an aneurysm, dear." When Emma failed to comply with her suggestion, Regina released a long-suffering sigh and snapped, "Miss Swan!"
Which was apparently enough of a warning because the magic holding her frozen suddenly released and she almost fell to the floor, not realising she hadn't bothered to leave any attention on remaining upright while Emma stared at her like a succulent piece of meat. Of course, Emma Swan was the Saviour, so even in her less than rational state; she still managed to save Regina from carpet burns and a nasty shock to her knees as she threw out a hand and stopped her descent.
"Sorry," Emma blurted, unthinking as she shot up from her bed and moved to guide Regina down to the mattress. She should probably avert her eyes, at least until Regina magicked herself some clothes and though she doubted that would erase the image of the brunette bare and wet that had been forever imprinted in her mind, she did it anyway—if only out of a belated sense of respect.
"I don't know what happened," she explained without prompting. "I wasn't trying to do anything. I was just thinking about how much fun our lessons were lately, and then I started to wonder why and…" She trailed off because oh right she had been thinking about how attracted to the Mayor she was and remembering their little dalliance in the past and... "Shit."
"Eloquent as ever," Regina drawled, pulling Emma back from the highly unhelpful memory. "I am decent, Miss Swan; you can stop blushing at the wall now."
Emma wanted to mention exactly how decent she found Regina without the clothes, but wisely kept the thought to herself. She turned back to the brunette, taking in the pantsuit Regina wore, and quickly averted her gaze once more when she realised just how not any better that sight was since she now knew what Regina looked like underneath them. Granted, it wasn't the first time she had seen the brunette's body, but already her mind was cataloguing all the minor differences and for fuck sakes, why didn't she just give the woman that goddamned potion.
"Miss Swan…"
"Can we just pretend I'm looking at you and leave it at that," Emma interrupted and though it sounded like a question, it clearly wasn't which annoyed Regina if she were being honest. Why Emma was embarrassed when she had been the one on display in all her high-definition, technicolour glory was unknown to her.
"Fine," she muttered and stood, ready to wave her hand and disappear back to the mansion where she would drown herself in alcohol to forget the nightmare that was this entire uncomfortable situation. She blinked, eyes going to her wrist where slim fingers clasped her in their grip before her face hardened in a glare and she looked up.
"Should we not talk about this?" Emma's voice was soft, pleading and the anger swept out of Regina instantly.
There were a number of reasons for why she could have ended up abducted from her shower and placed in that poor excuse of a bedroom within a loft previously owned by her most hated enemies. Despite that, however, there was only one possible reason behind Emma Swan's reaction and though they could ignore the glaringly obvious, it would only come back to bite them in the ass. So rather than answer with a firm, "Absolutely not," as she wanted to, Regina sighed and returned to her seat at the foot of the bed.
Knowing they needed to talk, and actually knowing how to talk were two very different things though and the following silence only added to both women's discomfort over the whole ordeal. Emma needed assurances that what happened wouldn't complicate things in a bad way—it had taken a painfully long time for Regina to forgive her when she brought Marian back from the past and Emma never wanted to experience that kind of distance between them ever again.
Also the reason she chose not to give Regina the potion, her brain reminded her.
Regina on the other hand, was more concerned about the desire she saw in Emma's eyes. She wasn't blind, she knew there was a mutual attraction there, they had just never spoken of it or even acknowledged their agreement that it existed because that most definitely would alter their relationship and she had found that once her trust in Emma began to rebuild itself, she had come to cherish their budding friendship. She needed more than simple assurance and even if Emma hadn't stopped her from leaving, she knew she would have appeared again and forced them to talk about it a week later when sleep eluded her and she ended up an incoherent mess of babbling confusion. She had questions, so many damn questions and there was no way she would be able to stop thinking about that insufferable feeling of being wanted when Emma looked at her.
When the bed dipped with Emma's weight, Regina glanced from her lap to the blonde and frowned. Emma sat with her head in her hands, back tense as if preparing herself for something. "I didn't know," she muttered and the frown deepened. "If wondering and wanting- I had no idea my magic could even summon another person. I need you teach me better control so that never happens again and then… if you want…"
Regina waited, a flicker of hope igniting within her chest that only succeeded in annoying her. She snuffed the feeling out, a scowl she would wear on the outside with pride under normal circumstances, turned inward at herself. Life had disappointed her enough, she wasn't about to give it another opportunity.
Emma released a heavy breath and straightened. She had expected something in response; a refusal to continue their lessons, a prompt to continue her thought, or even an irritated scoff to cover both. However, the minutes passed with nothing and she could no longer take the silence, so she looked and she would have regretted it had it not been for the emotion warring within the inky depths of Regina's eyes. Her face remained blank, but the walls were too low to hide everything from Emma.
"I've been keeping something from you," she finally admitted because really? How long could she have honestly kept it a secret? Regina had warned her at the time that future her might remember when Emma returned to her own timeline. Three months had passed, but there was never a timetable of when it might happen and if it was going to, surely the time was drawing nearer.
Eyes darted to her, the emotion behind them clear. Regina wanted to yell at her, yet Emma knew she wouldn't. One of the pieces of advice the two had taken to heart during their discussions with Archie was not to act on instinct and instinct had always dictated that Regina would lash out without first allowing Emma to explain.
"I made a promise to you in the past when you agreed to help Killian and I," Emma confessed, unable to stop once she started. "I never told you how we met and you never asked. We didn't really talk about it considering all that happened, but I should have told you the moment I returned."
Sighing as she stood, Emma padded over to her dresser and retrieved the memory potion from the top drawer. Returning to the bed, she held it out to Regina who continued to frown, anger morphing into confusion as she stared at the small blue vial offered to her.
She recognised what it was, there was no doubt when the symbol etched within the glass told her exactly what the vial contained. For the moment, she refused to take it as she looked up at the blonde with accusation in her eyes. "What did you do?"
"Take it," Emma replied, "and you'll find out."
Days passed and Regina avoided Emma as much as possible, sending her secretary for lunch and coffee so she wouldn't run into her at the diner. She had taken the vial home with her, but her stubborn side had won out thus far and by the end of the week, it remained untouched, sitting on the mantel in her study. She wanted to be furious with Emma for keeping secrets from her, except when she reached for that familiar anger, it never surfaced and instead of that white-hot rage, all she felt was disappointment that came in the form a deep-seated ache in the pit of her stomach.
Left with the weekend and absolutely nothing to do until she returned to work on Monday, she was stuck at home with no reason nor want to venture outside, which meant she was also stuck being tormented by that vial and the curiosity that begged for answers like a peasant begged for spare change. It was pathetic, infuriating and for fuck sakes, she needed to get it over with before she murdered someone.
Moving to the mantel, Regina poured herself a drink and then removed the stopper on the vial. She drank a forgetting potion once, when she first adopted Henry but those memories were restored with the arrival of the Savior and hadn't required a potion. She didn't know what to expect as the liquid burned her throat, but she didn't have to wait long for one memory to return.
"After three decades, have you grown weak or did you lose sight of why we embraced being the Evil Queen?"
Regina grimaced and drained the first glass, then poured another before she crossed the room and sat. She hoped no one had caught her talking to herself, though she doubted anyone would have lived to tell of it. Resting her head back against the sofa as she took a shuddered breath, Regina allowed the memory to continue.
"You forgive our enemy, the woman responsible for our misery and you still deny yourself that same forgiveness?"
An image flashed within her mind.
Emma lying on her stomach, a bare back illuminated by moonlight that fell through an open window, eyes closed as she rested her head in sleep atop muscular arms.
Regina remembered the soft rumble that escaped pale lips as Emma slept, a light snore that sounded so much more like a purr and her heart felt oddly warm inside her chest.
"Two days I have spent in this woman's presence, and already I feel there is something special about her." The Queen paced her chambers as she spoke, a fire dancing within the hearth and casting ominous shadows along the walls. "You are supposed to be happy, Regina and yet the woman who would make it so claims you hate her."
With a frustrated growl, the Queen walked to the bed and pulled the furs from Emma's body. "Look at her," she whispered as she stroked a hand down warm flesh that pimpled at her touch. "You had this, you didn't know and I cannot blame you for letting the opportunity go to waste, but you could have this again. Search these new memories, feel what I felt and see what I saw. She loves us. We could wake to this sight every morning for the rest of our life. Stop being a coward; mother was wrong and you know that, you have always known that."
Emma lay curled up on her couch, blank stare focused on the television where infomercials were ignored in favour of the thoughts running through her mind. Giving Regina the potion was the right thing to do, she knew that and even if she didn't, the weight that had lifted from her shoulders when Regina finally snatched it from her hand had been telling. She hadn't realised just how much guilt she was holding on to until that moment. It was never her choice to keep that secret, she couldn't- didn't blame the brunette for avoiding her.
She missed her though, something fierce.
Even if Regina was mad, even if the only words she heard from her mouth ever again were caustic and intended to wound her emotionally, Emma would have relished every painful second if it meant not having to settle reliving their past interactions in her head while the loneliness and regret ate away at her. Every waking moment had been pure torture, and since she had to be physically exhausted to be able to shut her mind off long enough to sleep, there were a lot of waking moments to contend with.
Emma groaned and pushed up from the couch, swaying a little as she stood. Lack of sleep, no appetite and a truckload of beer seemed to be taking its toll on her body. Yes it was stupid, yes she would feel horrible in the morning and the thought of looking like that creepy old lady from the diner in Legion was a passing concern, but otherwise, she didn't much care. Collecting the empty bottles gathered on the table, she moved to the kitchen and deposited them into the trash before retrieving another.
On her way back to the couch, she paused at the sound of knocking. Familiar to her somehow, her eyes narrowed and she tried to match the rhythm to a face, but after a minute and warning of a possible headache, she shook her head and dropped unceremoniously to a cushion. It was late, she wasn't in the mood to entertain and her phone hadn't rung at all, so- priorities.
Flicking the bottle cap across the room, the beer almost flew out of her hand when her phone chose its moment with creepy precision and she jumped as it rang - almost. Instead, she had been jolted just enough to soak her shirt and send a plethora of colourful phrasing echoing through the apartment. With a growl, she grabbed her phone and slammed her beer down on the table a little too forcefully.
"What?" she snapped, and promptly froze at voice on the other end.
"Stop wallowing and open the damn door."
Throwing her phone somewhere—the floor most likely—Emma stood up too quickly and swore yet again, stumbling in her haste to do as she was told because the floor had apparently decided to learn how to dance and was in the process of spinning like a ballerina. Stupid floor, she thought with a scowl and yanked open the door.
"Hi," she said, eyes widening the second her stomach lurched.
Regina watched her pivot on her heel with mild concern as she stepped into the apartment and closed the door. Concern that multiplied as the minutes ticked by and Emma still hadn't returned. She decided she had waited long enough around the fifth, draped her coat over a dining chair and went in search of the blonde, finding her on the bathroom floor with arms over a head buried between the knees pressed against her chest.
"Emma?"
The blonde groaned miserably and Regina sighed, realising the scent assaulting her nose was the atrocious dirt water known as beer that Emma preferred to decent alcohol. Lowering herself, she squatted beside Emma and coaxed the turtle from her shell with a gentle hand that she pressed against a clammy forehead.
Emma hummed as the warmth of Regina's magic flowed into her, skin prickling at the intimate feel of it working its way through her. "Oh," she breathed softly, the pounding behind her eyes dwindling down into nothing while her stomach no longer felt as though it were crawling up her throat. "That feels nice."
Not bothering to acknowledge the comment, Regina rose from the floor with far more grace than the supposed Swan and gestured to the sink. "We need to talk and I'd rather not be struck with permanent sympathy for you because of that pathetic look, so clean yourself up and join me in the kitchen when you're ready."
Emma moved before she was even done speaking, feeling a hundred times better than she had all week. Obedience had never been a trait she was known for, but for no longer feeling as though the world were ending and with Regina actually talking to her again, Emma found she was willing to do almost anything for it to continue that way.
Of course, the fact she looked like utter shit helped her decision to suppress any protest her pride may have demanded from her at being told what to do.
Ten minutes later, after cleaning her sympathy inducing face, a thorough mouth rinse, a small battle between her hairbrush and uncooperative hair, and a change from beer-soaked tank to a t-shirt two sizes too big, Emma plopped down on to the stool at the counter. She watched as Regina moved about the kitchen, looking as though she owned the place without once having to ask Emma where anything was and in the blink of an eye, a plate was placed before her filled with every kind of greasy breakfast food that one could think of.
Her mumbled thanks was met with an exasperated sigh, as it was said around a mouthful of food and as she ate, Regina prepared them both coffee before joining Emma at the counter. She had had time to ponder her new memories, not a whole lot since she had only taken the potion hours prior, but enough to decide she only had one question for Emma.
"Why didn't you give the potion to me sooner?"
Emma blinked and chewed slowly, reached for her coffee and swallowed before taking a long sip. She expected the question, not to begin with considering all that they did in the Enchanted Forest, but eventually and the fact it was the first had thrown her off for a moment. "I uh… I ruined your life. I thought remembering me, remembering what we did would make it worse and seeing how much pain you were in- you loved Robin and I didn't want to complicate things any more than they already were. I know that it wasn't really my decision to make, but I can't change how it happened or what I did."
Pushing aside her urge to make a snarky comment pertaining to Emma's lack of forethought, Regina considered the words carefully and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. An eyebrow rose in response. "You do realise that if you had given me the potion, I would have known you hadn't meant to hurt me by bringing Marian back. You would never have lost my trust; I put you through hell to earn it back."
"Yeah well," Emma replied with a shrug and glanced down at her plate. "Intentions aside, you still had feelings for Robin. What happened between us, it was new to me - recent. For you, it happened thirty years ago…"
"Emma," Regina sighed. "When you came back from New York, did you feel that a year had passed since you last saw everyone? My mind may remember it happening thirty years ago, but I've only been aware of everything for a few hours. It doesn't feel old, nor does it seem like something that happened in the past; it would have been as new to me as it was to you."
"Oh." Emerald eyes met brown, teeth pulling at a pale lower lip. Regina gave a small smile of encouragement and after a second or two of hesitation, Emma allowed one of her own and asked, "You mean-"
"That I want you," Regina interrupted, her smile transforming into a smirk as Emma's eyes widened in response. "That I feel… everything. That I am one hundred percent pissed at you for making me wait three more months than I should have to remember our time together."
Author Note: Ask and you shall receive but this is, without question, the end; this is not going to be another Surrender fic.