London, 1981

Ministry of magic

My life shall never be complete. My son was dead. My best friends as good as lost to me. And My Wife, oh my poor beautiful, was now broken beyond repair. This is what we have become, empty shells wandering the world in search of one we would never see again. Gone, Harry was gone.

And with him, so was I.

"James?" The Minister voice broke through my thoughts. I winced, his voice in the silence felt like a stab in my already pounding head. I glanced up from the spot on the floor I had been staring at to the wizard before me. The Minister, Augustus Brogen, stood dressed in blood red dress robes and a twisted part of me laughed at the irony, so much blood had been spilt tonight and here the man stood looking like he was dressed in it.I shook my head and tried to talk. I felt as if my voice was lost as well. Maybe it was the shock of it all.

"James, Do you understand what I'm telling you?" He asked as he looked at me down his long nose. suddenly I felt like I was back in school again and had been sent to Dumbledore's office.

"Y-yes sir." I said, my voice cracking as I finally forced the words.

"They will come looking for you. The death of your boy caused the death of their master" the Minister said. "For your safety you must return to hiding. Farther away the better. Go to America, be muggles. No one must know you both are alive, James, do you understand? No one. Not Dumbledore, None of your friends. No one."

I shook my head. it was all so much. just hours ago I was pretending to fly my son around the room and now I was being told that everyone needed to think we were dead to stay safe.

I glanced over at Lily. She sat in a chair by the wall; her legs pulled tight to her chest. Her face was blank. her green eyes, that had once been filled with joy and life, looked dull as she stared at the wall behind the Minister's desk. She needs this I thought staying here might just kill her. She needs to get away.

"Alright" I whispered. My eyes never leaving Lily's still figure across the room. "set it up"

14 years later

Indianapolis, Indiana

July 27, 1995

The years past by slowly, the first few being the worst. We missed Harry and we missed our lives before. Brogen set us up in a american city and helped us find a house and jobs. Slowly we settled into life but the absence of our son took its toll on our first year we worked because we had to; but barely talked at silence filled the house like a fog, weighing us down.

That christmas passed without either of us realizing we missed it and so did all the holidays that followed. Then Harry's 2nd birthday came.

~flashback~

a sound broke the silence of the house and woke me from my sleep. someone was crying in the house. I sat up and looked over to where Lily should have been to find her gone.

My head pounded as a hopped out of bed. My eyes met the calendar across the room. July 31st.

Harry's birthday.

"Oh Lily!" I whispered. quickly I ran from the room and followed the sound of Lily's sobs.

Lily was sitting on the couch, a box with the name 'Harry James' written across the side sitting at her feet, and in her hands was a small blue bear that I had bought for Harry at birth. She shook as the sobs racked her body.

"Lily?" Her head shot up and she stared at me in shock. then her face changed again as she started to cry once more.

"Our son is dead, James." She whispered. This was the first time she had openly talked about him "He's dead"

"I know, Love" I replied, I walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. Lily turned and buried her face in my shirt, her hand balling it in her fist, and let out a heart breaking sob. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. tears filled my eyes as Harry smiling face pop in my head. "I know. and I miss him so much. He was such a good boy."

Lily nodded into my chest. It felt good to talk about him again. For the past 8 months we had not spoke of him once. We had avoided his name as if it was the curse that killed him. Even now it seemed hard to speak it.

Lily backed up and looked me in the eyes. Green met Hazel as we stared at one another.

"I'm so sorry James!" she croaked "These past few months I felt as if I was dead too. and I- I really haven't been the best wife" I shook my head. she was grieving, I knew that, and so was I. and I knew what she meant. I felt like I was playing a part, like James Potter really had died and in his place was the empty shell of a man that most knew as Matthew Davis, But now….suddenly as I looked at Lily, and I mean really looked at her, for the first time in months I felt like me again. Here was my poor wife before me, with a tear stained face, and for the first time since Harry's death there was a small bit of her back in her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, love, I checked out as much as you did." I replied. "A part of me died that night with our son" again his name was like glue in my throat, stuck and it refused to pass my lips. "But it felt like all of me did. But I'm here now Lily, and I promise you that from now on I will be here for you. We will get through this, but we have to do it together" Lily's eyes filled with tears again. without a word she buried her face in my chest again.

The rest of the day was spent like this. With her in my arms and the box next to us on the couch. as each item was lifted from the box a little bit of Harry returned to our lives.

~end~

Every year since had been the same. Lily and I would look forward to our time with Harry all day and as soon as night fell upon us and the house was quiet we would make our way to the couch, Harry's box in hand and sit and remember him. Every year it got a little easier.

In year 5, Brandon Henry Potter was born. finally we felt like we had a reason to live again. This little guy needed us. Slowly I watched my wife come back to life. Her eyes filled with laughter once more. Brandon filled a void in our hearts. But the Harry shaped hole would always be there, no one could fill it.

Year 8 brought a daughter, Elizabeth Ann Potter. and slowly life felt normal again. we never returned to the magic world and did our best to teach the kids ourselves. But the community was something we felt like we could never return to. Sure we missed our friends and every part of me wished to write them and tell them why we left. but I had to remember that they thought we had died and a letter from James Potter would seem like a joke and would only hurt me more.

"MATT!" My wife's voice broke my thoughts. I glanced up from my desk to the door then back at the paper I had been grading before i had lost track of my thoughts. this would have to wait till later. slowly I got up and made my way to the kitchen where I knew Lily to be.

Lily stood at the stove, with 7 year old Elizabeth at her side and a pot of stew on the burner. she looked up at me as I walked in the room. The years had taken their toll on my wife, she looked worn but still had never looked more beautiful to me. She smiled at me and nudged Elizabeth with her elbow. Elizabeth looked up at me and grinned, her hazel eyes alight with joy, and ran to me, her red curls bouncing.

"Daddy! Mommy taught me to make stew!" She said, reaching her arms up for me to pick her up. at once I picked her up, her weight reminding me just how big she was getting.

"OH! Beth, I'm not gonna be able to pick you up anymore here soon, you are getting too big!" I said, grunting as to show my point. Elizabeth laughed as I sat her down then ran to the other room. Shaking my head I walked over to Lily and wrapped my arms around her from the back.

"Hello Mrs. Potter" I whispered in her ear. In front of the kids we called ourselves by our new names, Lily's Muggle name was Katherine, but to ourselves we had whispered talks of who we once were. Lily turned around and slid her arms around me as well.

"I've been thinking" she said. I cocked my head to the side and stared at her "I want to go home for Harry's birthday this year." I sighed, every year since Beth was born Lily had asked me this.

"Kate, you know we can't" I said. using her muggle names as i spoke louder. "We are in hiding! I will not have that mans crazy follows hurt my family" Lily pushed away from me and turned back to the stove.

"I'm not asking to go back for good. No one would even know we were there. I want to go back to the house, thats it" She turned around and faced me again. "I need to see it Matt. Its been 14 years since Harry died. I need to see where. I'm not asking to go to Diagon Alley, just to the house. Please Matt, I need this."

I leaned back against the counter and sighed again. She was right, I knew that. There was always I part of me that thought about what had happened to the house. But its was fear that had stopped me. Voldemort had killed my son and I would be damned if I let anyone hurt my family again.

"How about this" said Lily "We change how we look and only go for a day. I can call Karen and see if the kids can stay with them while we are gone. I'm sure Brandon wouldn't mind staying with Alex for the weekend." Her green eye bore into mine, silently begging me to agree.

"Fine" I said at last "If this is what you need then, alright. But only one day then its straight home." Lily's face broke out in a big smile and she pulled me into a tight hug.

A/N: Alright there is the first chapter. let me know what you think and if I should keep going! Thank you to all of you that have stuck with me.

Please ignore any grammar errors, its never been my strong point.