Disclaimer: I do not own any part of The 100, and I'm grateful to those who do for creating this universe and story. Reading bellarke fanfics has been helping me get through a difficult time in my life, and I hope that my fanfic will bring some enjoyment to people's lives. :)

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Author's notes:

I thought I'd give credit to some of what inspired this. (I might change this section this later since because links don't seem to carry over into the document referencing others is turning out to be harder than I thought.)

1. A quote from Our Souls, They Blend By BlackRavensWing (on this site)/blackravenswing (on another site) that I saw in post #253 by the user Maud&Danny in the

'Rebel Leader | Brave Princess {BellamyღClarke} #7: "He has an unspoken faith in her [Clarke's] perspective" - Lindsay Sperling'

thread on fanforum. Here is the quote (I'm requoting it from the story):

"'Look. I know you need to be the light.' He leans forward impulsively, wrapping his palm around her knee. 'All the reason and the compassion and the goodness - it's what you're made of. So I'll be the darkness. I'll be all of it. Every kill, and merciless decision. Every war and bomb and grenade. Every whip lash in a torture room. I'll do it all, for as long as you need - for as long I'm here. I'll be the monster, so that you don't have to be." -Our Souls, They Blend by blackravenswing.

2. Young Blood by LauraRobin. Warning: this has an "Explicit" rating where it's posted, but I absolutely loved how the author was able to include physical intimacy while still retaining tension between Bellamy and Clarke.

...

"You don't have to be here for this, Clarke." Bellamy said, he was sweaty and his breathing was heavy. Torture was hard work.

Clarke looked up at him at that, she hadn't pegged Bellamy as a particularly empathetic guy-and let's face it, he was in the process of torturing another human being-and so when beating the grounder didn't work Clarke was surprised that Bellamy wanted to spare her the sight of whatever he was going to do next. He must have seen me turn away when he hit the grounder.

"I'm not leaving until I get that antidote," She responded. Bellamy nodded at her. This is on me, Bellamy waited for me to ok this before he began. Does this mean he trusts my moral compass more than his own, or did he just want to absolve himself of the responsibility for torture?

It was Octavia who finally ended the torture, risking her own life to do so. Later, as Clarke removed the large screw that Bellamy used to pierce the grounder's hand she was distraught. What have we done? What have I done? Octavia took her place in cleaning the grounder's wound, as he was fighting Clarke's attempts to do so.

She walked outside, caught up in her guilt. We had to. Finn would have died otherwise. Finn… She missed Finn desperately, but seeing Raven scream that Finn was all she had as she tortured the grounder only solidified Clarke's resolve to let him go. She had only just met Finn whereas he was Raven's everything. Raven had risked her life to come down to the ground. She looked down at her hand, hating herself. It was then that Bellamy walked up to her, taking the bloody screw from her her hand, his fingers grazing her own.

"I'm a torturer, what have I done?" She was shaking, and to her surprise Bellamy placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I was the one doing the torturing Princess, remember?" Bellamy said, attempting to comfort her.

"I told you to do it."

"I would have done it anyway, it was what I thought needed to be done to save Finn's life." His voice was firm, reassuring.

Finn… Tears came unbidden to Clarke's eyes, brought about in part by what they had done to the grounder, and in part by almost losing Finn to poison and then losing him to Raven. She began to shake, and would have collapsed to the ground if it had not been for Bellamy, who gripped her shoulders then, steadying her.

"Clarke? Clarke, it's okay." Bellamy sounded uncertain and worried, not used to her being this way, and not knowing what to say. He led Clarke into his tent as it was closer, thinking that it would not be good for morale for the others to see her break down.

She was in a daze as he sat her down on his bed, sitting down beside her. "Look, it really is on me. And the grounder will be okay, he was tough, he will heal. As will Finn."

Clarke looked at Bellamy and saw him as if for the first time. He had the grounder's blood on him, and he was sweaty, his hair a mess. He is strong. He did what he thought needed to be done to save one of our own. And now he would take the burden of what we did together onto himself to spare me the pain of being a torturer. She leaned against him, cautiously at first, then, when he didn't move, she let the weight of her torso fall against him. He stiffened at first, surprised, but then he put his arm around her. He smells so good. She suddenly took his hand in hers, running her small pale fingers through his larger and darker ones. He turned to look at her then, his eyes dark and inscrutable.

Something took hold of Clarke then. Clumsily, she pressed her lips against his, not thinking of the consequences.

What is she doing, Bellamy thought at first, but then those thoughts were replaced by the sensation of her lips against his. She was not skilled at this, not by a long shot, but he felt his whole body respond. I want her. It was all he could do to gently pull away from her.

"Clarke, you're not being yourself. I'm not one to turn a woman away, but with what happened to the grounder and what happened to Finn, and between you and Finn…" he looked at her knowingly. "I don't want you to regret this." I don't want to be something you regret. Bellamy was not used to feeling this way. What he did with girls hadn't been a big deal to him down here, but suddenly it was and it left him confused.

Clarke was embarrassed. He doesn't want me. She was blushing. I'm an idiot. Wordless she stood up to leave.

Bellamy saw her embarrassment, he knew if he let her walk out this would never again happen between them. He took her hand in one of his and closed his other hand around her forearm, preventing her from leaving and looked up at her, not knowing what to say, only knowing that he didn't want her to leave.

"I'm not one to turn a woman away," he repeated, clumsily, feeling himself pulse with desire for her and no longer caring if she only wanted to use him to get through her pain, caring only that she could be his for this one time.

"Then don't," she said shyly.

It was all Bellamy needed to hear.

What followed was so different from what she experienced with Finn. She let go and let herself be his. Bellamy's. He was at once intense and rough, yet also tender, and at times he looked into her eyes with such need that it gave her chills. At the end of it, Clarke was pleasantly worn out, her legs weak with a sweet warmth spreading through them. Bellamy rolled off her and lay on his back beside her, breathing hard. They stayed like that for some time, both afraid to speak and end what happened between them. After a while sleep took them.

...

Bellamy woke up first, and noticed how peaceful Clarke looked as she slept. A stark contrast to her near-breakdown yesterday. He had an urge to hold her tightly against him, to keep her safe and to shield her from the harshness of life on the ground. Bellamy was surprised at how he was feeling, but he found he liked it. It made him feel more like the man he wanted to be.

He reached for her tentatively, but then pulled back. Uncertain of what she would want. She was not herself yesterday. She might regret all this when she wakes up. The thought was painful. Bellamy knew what Clarke had shared with Finn, just as he knew how all that changed with Raven's arrival. Snap out of it he told himself as he got up. Bellamy was determined to be gone before Clarke woke up, to give her time to process what happened and to decide what it meant to her. Perhaps he was also afraid of seeing regret in her eyes when she first looked at him.

…

Clarke woke up alone in Bellamy's tent, relieved not to find him there and thinking of Finn. What have I done? She was filled with regret, and a fear that she would not be able to interact normally with Bellamy and that the group would suffer for it. Oh, what am I thinking, he does this all the time, it won't be a big deal to him. She took a deep breath and walked out, hoping not to run into Bellamy.

During her radio conversation with the Ark, Councilman Kane mentioned the existence of an old emergency aid depot. With winter coming and their lives at risk, it was important to go there and see if there might be any supplies they could use and if, as Chancellor Jaha had pointed out, the depot might provide shelter for them. Clarke realized how important this was, and that she couldn't go alone. She needed to take someone who she could trust, and who was strong in case they ran into grounders. With Finn injured, that only left Bellamy. Bellamy. Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Might as well get this over with she thought, as she walked out to look for him.

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