Burning Out

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic

YAJJ

Date: 6/17/2014, 8:10 PM

A/N: Hey, all, and welcome to the wacky world of "F is for Family", a rewrite of the fanfiction that I wrote years ago!

I am still willing to let, like, anyone at this point be a beta for this story if they should like to. I have gotten no requests... but it's alright if not. I've flown all my other stories solo, I can do this one.

Seriously, though, if you're bored with your summer and looking for something to do... I will not say no to a beta reader. :)

Good news! Okay, so I was reading another story's review regarding the sexual abuse that happens in it, and it said something like "why did that rape happen? Was it to make us pity the character more? Because we already pity him enough." And I realized that's why I added sexual abuse into the sequel. To make us pity the victim more, but it's like... why? Why make us pity him more, especially when I'm always like "this character is so strong he can do stuff all n his own, he don't need no other man" Just to throw this sort of thing on him? No. I don't want him to be weak. I want him to be as strong as he can be. And so, that is now the reason that rape will not be included in the sequel. Or prequel, for that matter. I promise. So if it made you feel awkward... well, you don't need to anymore.

Thank you, and sorry for that novel. Please read, enjoy, and send me a PM if you'd like to beta. Also, reviewing would be good, so I can see the overall reception this will get.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any other mentions. I don't own anything. I'm a poor, currently unemployed college student (working on it, though!) who still lives in her parents' basement.

Please, enjoy!

"Really, Axel? A D?"

Axel flushed warmly with embarrassment, hanging his head. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, accepting his dad's scolding with no resistance. His teacher just hated him. That was it. He hated him. He had no reason to get that D, he could have sworn that it was at least a C worthy test…

Well, judging from how this stupid class had been dragging on, he was lucky to get a D.

Two tiny voices giggled side by side, hiding behind the legs of their father. "Axel's in trouble~" sang the older boy, who was only older by five minutes. The other boy giggled wordlessly, peering around Dad's legs with no qualm of listening to him be scolded.

The man above them, tall and blond with piercing blue eyes, sighed heavily with exasperation. They'd had this talk way too many times. "Axel, look at me."

Axel griped for a moment and lifted his eyes. He got a good look at the anger fueling the fire in his father's eyes and looked away, face pale. "No."

"Aww, Axel, you don't have to be ascared of Daddy." The blond brother tottered over to Axel and patted his knee, his face painted in a smile.

"Go away, Roxas."

"Yeah! Daddy isn't gonna hurt you!" the other brother laughed.

Axel just buried his face in his hands. He couldn't reply to the innocent boys. All that he would be able to say was "you have no proof", and then he'd feel so guilty because this dad wasn't like his other dad. This dad wasn't bad. Not yet, at least, and so far that fact was twelve years strong…

"Boys, go on in the kitchen. Go color or something. I'll be in in a little bit," Dad sighed a little, unhooking the older brother from his legs.

"But—" Roxas pouted. Then he patted Axel's knee and said "see you in a bit!" He followed his older twin out.

Above him, Dad sighed. "Axel, look at me."

"No." Axel flushed with embarrassment. He felt like such a child, but this was so pathetic, especially the way that his dad was scolding him. "Why don't you just go bother the boys?"

"Because there's something wrong and I'm trying to get to the bottom of it," Dad sighed again. "Is the material too hard? Should we put you in a remedial class?"

"No!" Axel quickly protested, finally looking up at his dad. He ignored his eyes. "The material's not hard. It's the easiest science class we have in the school! There isn't a remedial earth science!"

Dad blew out a heavy breath, slumping a little with exhaustion. He looked up at the ceiling. "You were doing so well last year."

"Yeah, well, maybe earth science is just stupid and pointless. It's not like I'm going to be a geologist or anything! If anything, I'll be a chemist and then earth science is just pointless! I don't even see why it matters!" Axel pouted. He crossed his arms and looked down at his test, which Dad had dropped onto the table. 64/100. That score was mocking him. And the worst part was, it wasn't the worst that he'd done in the class. That 38/100 still flashed painfully in his mind. He was lucky Mr. Even had allowed him to take a make-up test, that Dad had made him stay up for hours studying for.

"Maybe it is, but it is required for graduation, and so you are taking it and you are passing it, with nothing less than a B. So far, you'll be lucky to get a D…" Dad sighed. "What can I do? How can I help you? Do you need tutoring?"

"No, tutoring's dumb."

"Do I have to sit there and hold your hand while you do your homework?"

"No! I don't need help! I need you to stay out of my life!" Axel threw his hands in the air and moved away from the couch, stomping around the table and his dad. He never raised his voice when the boys were in the house, but he was being torn into pieces from frustration and he hated his class and he was starting to think that maybe Dad wasn't off of the list of things that he hated, either.

"Axel, we're not done talking!" Dad snapped.

"Yes, Cloud, we are! I'm going to my room! Good night!" Axel stomped up the stairs, knowing he'd be in big trouble for calling his dad by his first name. The door at the top of the stairs, his room, was quickly kicked open and slammed shut once he was safely inside.

"You watch your mouth, Akuseru!" Cloud snapped through the door, clearly having followed his son. "And don't even think about coming out for supper, either!"

"No, I'll just call CPS because you never feed me anymore and you know what? I don't even care! I'll just go over to Sai's, at least his mom pretends to care!" Axel kicked his door, and Cloud gave something not unlike a scream of annoyance, finally leaving his son alone.

Axel snarled with frustration and collapsed onto his bed, taking his pillow and yelling into it.

What he'd said was—mostly—a lie. It wasn't that Cloud never fed him, it was that he was never hungry anymore. CPS had actually been called twice on Axel, from a few teachers worried about his health, because of how freakishly skinny he was. Axel and Cloud had explained the situation, how Axel had a ridiculously high metabolism and chose to never eat. The men had threatened each time that they were going to keep an eye on Cloud and that, if he wasn't careful, Mom wouldn't be the only Strife that the family would lose.

Axel's heart clenched painfully, and he dropped the pillow onto his face, breathing a deep, warm breath into it. He missed his mom. Aerith Strife had been the nicest person in the whole world. No, she wasn't Axel's actual mom, just like Cloud wasn't his actual dad and Sora and Roxas weren't his actual brothers, but they all felt like family. Axel had been a part of the family for six years before Sora and Roxas had come along. And then Aerith got sick, and… and she'd gone away. It had all happened unexpectedly; so unexpectedly, in fact, that none of them got to say goodbye. She'd even been cremated, though it was against Dad's wishes and the action had nearly gotten the hospital sued. Instead, Dad had just taken the urn that her ashes were in, and had it buried under a beautiful cherry tree, and they'd moved on.

Axel rolled over on the bed, the pillow falling off of his face to land with a poof on the floor. He flopped one hand off of the bed, landing on shaggy red carpet. "Ugh…"

Things had been so much better before the boys came around. Not that he was angry with the boys, or blamed them or anything. No, he loved those kids. They were his baby brothers. But back then, when Mom was still alive and Dad's temper hadn't been so short, things had been amazing. Back when Axel was the only kid that they had to fuss over and maybe he was a little more difficult than most but they never really seemed to care, then life had been perfect.

And now, this. Now, Dad was always angry at him, Axel was always angry at everything else, and the boys didn't seem to understand that you couldn't just laugh at everything.

It was all this stupid class's fault. Last semester, when he'd been aceing advanced chemistry and had a GPA of 4.0, Axel and Dad and the boys were all happy. Cloud would practically show off a blushing Axel, saying "look at this genius! Look at this kid!" Now, he was failing earth science, and he was nearly failing math, and he wasn't doing hot in literature, either. Stupid earth science.

"Hey Axel…?"

Axel looked to his door, which was slowly creaking open. Two boys with bright blue eyes peered in at him, both looking cautious. "Hey boys. You should probably get out. I'm in trouble. Or didn't you hear?"

Sora looked at Roxas, and then pushed open the door. Roxas carried in a plate of snacks; cookies, Fig Newtons, a pop tart… He set the plate at Axel's side and stepped away when Sora put a tiny glass of milk on the bedside table. Both boys started rocking on their heels.

Axel tipped up one brow, looking at the boys with caution. "...What are you doing? You'll get all three of us in trouble. Dad's pissed right now."

"Well, you called him Cloud!"

"And he hates being called Cloud!"

"Besides, don't worry! Daddy said that you couldn't starve because of you already need to eat more so here. He told us to get some food for you, but he was so mad that he didn't want to look at you."

Axel grouched a little and sighed. "Great. Thanks."

Both boys grinned brightly, missing the heavy sarcasm.

Axel didn't move for a bit of time, his hunger still hadn't come, even though he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, nine hours ago. Finally, Roxas sighed in exasperation, climbed on top of Axel, and reached over him for a cookie. "Here you go, Axel," he said, pushing the cookie into his hand. "You're 'posed to eat 'cause Daddy said you can't come out for dinner."

"'M not hungry."

Sora rolled his eyes and climbed onto the bed beside his twin. "You're never hungry. How come? You're supposed to eat. Are you sick?"

"Yeah, I'm sick. Sick of Dad, sick of school, sick of homework and yelling and earth science and being adopted and I'm just sick." Axel rolled over some more, discharging the twins from his bed.

Sora rolled a little on the floor, sitting up when he came to a stop. Roxas had toppled where he'd fallen and looked up at his older brother. "You're not even 'dopted, stop being dumb," Roxas claimed, sticking out his tongue. He bounced to his feet and leaned his chin on Axel's mattress. "Gotta stop it."

"Maybe then Daddy won't be so mad all the time!" Sora reasoned.

"Go away," Axel groaned loudly.

"Make us!" Sora chirped, and Roxas gave a playful squeak and dove away from the bed, huddling beside his brother to wait for Axel to come play.

Axel turned over and faced the wall, ignoring the boys, drawing an audible pout from the both of them. "Get out. I wanna sleep."

"But sleeping is for bedtime, and it's not even bedtime."

"It's playtime! And dinnertime."

"Playtime! Come on, Axel, it's playtime!" Sora hopped over to Axel and tugged on his hand, making him turn back over and face them.

Axel glared at them both; he was so not in the mood! "Keep it up, and I'll play you right out of the window!" he growled.

Sora dropped his hand and looked to the window, Roxas copying him. Both swallowed anxiously and left their eldest brother alone. The window in Axel's room always freaked them out, because it was the only one that they could reach that didn't have something to catch them on the way down, like a tree or roof. The garage was right beneath the boys' room, and the maple tree was just outside of Dad's and the bathroom.

Axel groaned and rolled back over, burying his nose into his blanket. He looked up at the plate of treats the boys had brought him. Though it was hardly a healthy meal, and exactly not what Axel needed, the sentiment was still sweet. He may be the older brother, but that wouldn't stop the twins from looking out for him. He'd have to remember to thank them later.

Taking one cookie, he brought it to his mouth and munched on it slowly, ignoring that the rest of the day existed and instead swimming in the warmth that the boys gave him.

Axel didn't fall asleep that night. He went back downstairs at one point to grab his bag and do his homework and study, but just dragged it all back upstairs as soon as he saw his dad, locking himself away in his room. It wasn't until eleven thirty at night that he just gave up. The equations and stuff he could understand, but all this other crap about land formations and gems? He didn't even want to know about it.

He threw down his pen and switched off the lights, pushing the books off of his desk and onto the floor. He stomped over to his bed, tossed the covers back and curled up beneath them. His pillow hadn't left its place on the floor, and Axel was tempted to reach down for it, but he was tired and didn't want to bother, and it was probably cold anyway.

It wasn't long after that that his doorknob jiggled. Roxas and Sora had gone to bed hours ago, had in fact been very disappointed that they couldn't say goodnight to Axel, so he knew it wasn't them. And Dad was too furious with him to want to see him.

Then, the lock clicked and the door eased open, shedding a little light into the room. Ahh, Axel always forgot. Dad was an excellent lockpick, from a past that Axel sometimes didn't want to know about. Locking the door was really only a show anymore.

Axel quickly squeezed his eyes shut when heavy footsteps neared the bed, urged to let Dad think he was asleep. A weight fell on the bed near his middle, and a cool hand settled on his cheek, gentle and kind. What in the world…?

"Axel…" Dad sounded so tired. Of course; his business was failing, he had three kids to look after by his lonesome, one of whom was being very stupid and rebellious recently, the others were two six-year-olds that demanded attention.

For a moment, and just a moment, Axel thought that Dad knew he was still awake. He considered replying (probably something snotty and nasty, because he was tired too; tired of all of it) but then thought better of it. He wanted to hear what Dad had to say. Maybe he was coming up to apologize…?

Or maybe he was coming up to say that after twelve years, Axel had spent enough time with the family and because Cloud couldn't handle raising three boys, he'd have to go; Axel wasn't a real Strife anyway.

Axel shuddered a little at the thought, and then almost opened his eyes when he felt the blanket over him rise up to his chin. Ha. Dad thought he was cold. Axel was never cold.

"Axel," said Dad again, softer this time. Axel still wasn't entirely sure that he wasn't supposed to say something, but somehow he doubted it. Dad sounded like he was just talking. "..." He made a noise like he really wanted to say something, but then it flopped and stopped working, so he just sighed heavily. Axel felt the hand lift off of his face and glide over his hair, and then it was on his shoulder and there was more pressure, what the heck was Dad doing?

Axel's eyes nearly shot straight open—would have, if Axel wasn't determined that Cloud didn't know he was awake—when he felt Dad's scruffy, partially-unshaven chin touch his cheek and then soft lips touch his temple. Dad wasn't one to express affection, not like this, certainly not when recipients were conscious. Of course, Dad didn't exactly know he was conscious…

Dad sighed and stood, and Axel almost—ALMOST!—wanted to reach out and pull him back, because Cloud was still his dad, and a better one than his first one had been, at that. But he stopped himself, because he was supposed to be asleep and he was supposed to hate Dad right then, but he couldn't, he couldn't just mindlessly hate, he didn't even hate his first dad or his first mom and they had been the ones to hurt him.

"Good night, Axel," said Dad after a moment, and Axel cracked open one thin eye to peek at him and see what he was doing. He was standing in the doorway, blocking out the light. "I love you, kid."

Axel's throat felt tight and he didn't reply, closing his eye and pretending to be asleep again. The door squeaked shut, and the light out in the hallway went out with a click. Dad's heavy footfalls went back down the hallway to his room, and then the house was quiet.

Guilt kept Axel awake the rest of the night.

So, yeah. That happened :)

You all have no idea how nervous I am, posting this. My stomach hurts.

Please review! All reviews will be answered via PM.

Until next time,

~YAJJ