(Warning of depression and attempted suicide. Includes Man/Man. Sabriel, Sam/Gabriel.) If Gabriel wasn't actually dead, if he had faked his death when Lucifer tried to kill him so that he could go back into hiding, but he never forgot about Sam.

Sam was speeding down the highway. Tears were blinding him and all he could hear was the sound of the rain beating down on the Impala like rocks. Dean was in Purgatory.

Dean was in Purgatory.

Even though it'd happened close to a week ago, the memory was still vivid. Dean was gone – there was no getting him back this time.

Sam felt so guilty, even though it wasn't his fault. His body was wrecked. Since getting his soul back, everything in his life had been torture. And now, he was alone. No Dean, no Cas, no Bobby. There was no one. Even Kevin was gone; Sam had slipped up and lost him. So, he couldn't hate himself for not being able to hold back the tears any longer. He just felt so weak.

There wasn't a point anymore. He had nothing left. Just the Impala, with those Legos rattling in the air vents as heat blasted him in the face, making his skin tighten. Those Legos just made everything hurt that much more. Sam quickly turned the heat off. Enough was enough.

And that was when he decided that he'd end it all. Maybe he'd get to go to Heaven when it was all over, see Ellen and Jo again. Bobby should be there too, he thought. Even so, he'd never get Dean back.

So Sam just let go of the wheel, relinquishing control of his life to the Impala, letting the last part of Dean decide what would happen to him. And he smiled. It wasn't a big smile – it was small and actually quivering a little. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Are you insane?!"

Sam was jolted back to reality by Gabriel, who was in the passenger seat yelling at him with wide eyes. "What the hell?" was Sam's choked reply.

The car was already leaning to the right, about to go off the road, and Gabriel grabbed the wheel. "Watch out!" They swerved, narrowly avoiding hitting a dog, before going off the road.

Sam tensed up, being thrown forward. He waited for his head to hit the windshield, but it never happened. 'Maybe the impact was so much I didn't even feel it,' Sam thought. 'Maybe I'm already dead.' He opened his eyes slowly, and saw that he was in an old diner, already closed down for the night. He was sitting in one of the red booths, moonlight coming in from the window on his left, and the rain was still just as heavy.

"Before you ask," came Gabriel's voice from a few feet away, "no, it wasn't a dream." He sighed at Sam's bewildered expression. "You're welcome."

"What the hell just- ho-how are you even here? You're dead," Sam sputtered, quickly getting up and walking in front of the much-shorter-than-him angel.

Gabriel swallowed before looking down. "Look, if you're going to make me explain everything that I've been doing for the past three or so years, I think I'll just pop outta here."

Sam quickly grabbed his arm, as if that could stop him. When Gabriel gave him a look that said really Sam, the human was glaring. "Don't even think about it. You've got things to explain. I thought Lucifer killed you after you helped us escape," Sam stated. Though he didn't want to admit it, the memory of that night had been vivid in Sam's mind since it happened. After Mercury had summoned Lucifer, and the angel had begun to kill everyone there, Gabriel distracted him long enough so that Sam, Dean and Kali could all get away. It was the turning point that made Sam think a lot more highly of the shortest angel in all creation.

After he pulled his arm away, Gabriel leaned against the table, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "It was a trick, you should've been able to guess that. I'm surprised at you, Sammy boy." Sam leered, so he groaned. "Look, I had to get you guys out of there, and I didn't exactly wanna die, so I played a trick on Luci, okay? And then after, I told you guys what you needed to do to put him in the Cage so you wouldn't need me anymore. I honestly just hated being involved in all of it."

"You just let me throw myself into Hell with your brothers?" Sam asked furiously. "You could've helped us, and you ran away and hid, like you always do."

Gabriel looked back up again, and seemed like he might actually feel hurt. "It was a really difficult situation, okay? I couldn't exactly pick sides."

Sam sighed, turning away. "Yeah, I know, you told us. You didn't care who won, Lucifer or Michael, just as long as the fighting stopped."

"No, I couldn't pick between you and that idiot brother of yours, or my family." That got Sam's attention again, and Gabriel laughed, but didn't sound happy. "Yeah, okay? So I didn't know who I should help, my own brothers or you two bozos. You guys broke everything – granted that you were meant to – but I couldn't help you because I wasn't exactly supposed to. My job was to sit back and let it all happen, because that's what my father wanted from the very beginning."

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the black and white tile. "I grew up with Michael and Lucifer. They were more than my brothers, they were my friends. But then there was you." Gabriel looked up to see that Sam was staring at him with big eyes. "You were my father's promise to me."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

For a moment, Gabriel was quiet. When he continued, his voice was a lot shakier than before. "When everything started, my father rounded up Michael, Lucifer, Castiel and me. He wanted to tell us first hand the story of the new, weird, little creatures he'd just made that he was calling the humans. He talked about how he'd crafted all the humans with love, a love similar to the one he'd used to make all of us angels. But he told us that he wanted the humans to have disadvantages, to see how they would act being born in adversity.

"He told us that we needed to love them more than anything, and that we should learn from them, because they were incredibly important." At this point, Gabriel let out a chuckle. "It's funny, because Michael didn't even really like the humans, because they were so weak and frail, and he thought they were useless, and he only loved them because Dad told him to. Lucifer thought they were fascinating. To him, it was like watching an ant farm, before he got cast down and everything.

"Dad told us that someday, the world would end with two very special humans, and they would be brothers. One would be older and determined, loyal and brave. The other would be younger and headstrong, cunning and resilient. Castiel was told that when the eldest brother came, it would he his job to watch over him and protect him until the time came for the world to end. And I, well…I was assigned to the younger brother."

Sam nearly fell over. "You've…been my guardian angel this entire time?"

Gabriel nodded. "I waited for you for a very, very long time. My dad had always told me to be patient, that you'd come along. Castiel got so excited when he got Dean, and I was jealous, wondering when you were gonna turn up." He half smiled. "And then you were born: bouncing, baby Samuel Winchester. Finally you were here, and I watched you like a hawk.

"It really sucked when I found out I wasn't actually allowed to influence you in any way. And if you got hurt, I couldn't do anything but watch. When you died the first time, I lost it, because I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I was a total wreck for the two days you were gone. After that, I promised I'd never let anything happen to you again. So, I started breaking the rules a little bit."

Sam's eyes widened. "Mystery Spot."

"I had to start teaching you things. Because, let's face it, you really needed me. You were stuck to Dean like glue; even though you knew he was going to die, you acted like if you loved him hard enough, you could stop it. I had to teach you that there are some things you have no control over."

"You mean how you weren't supposed to have any control over me?" Sam asked, his voice deeper with anger.

Gabriel swallowed. "I know it was a real dick thing to do…" When Sam didn't make a snarky comment, he continued. "I was apologizing to you, though, every morning."

Sam's eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about? I relived the same day a hundred times before I even found out it was you."

"The radio, Sam. I played "Heat of the Moment" every friggin' morning. You didn't even really listen to it, did you?"

For a few more seconds, Sam was confused, then he thought about the very first lines of the song. I never meant to be so bad to you – one thing I said that I would never do. One look from you and I would fall from grace and that would wipe this smile right off my face. "You were…actually apologizing," he said in disbelief.

"Castiel broke the rules more than I did; he rose Dean up from Hell. As guardian angels we're supposed to watch over you, influence little things, but never actually come into contact with you," Gabriel explained. "So he got to be besties with you and Dean, and I was the asshole that killed Dean over and over."

Sam shook his head. "Okay, but something still doesn't make sense. Why did Cas bring me out of the Cage? If you're my guardian angel, why didn't you do that?" he asked, crossing his arms.

Gabriel looked at him with this fierce burning in his eyes. "You don't think I tried? I did everything I could to try to get you out. Who do you think had to beg Castiel to get you out?" Sam's tension eased down. He was totally blown away. "I felt horrible about not helping you before, I was completely disgusted with myself! I let you get yourself killed!" Gabriel took a deep breath before continuing. "But I couldn't get in there, for whatever reason. So I had to ask Castiel to get you. But…he left your soul behind. I guess because he wasn't your guardian, he wasn't capable of bringing it back with him, so he did the best he could."

And suddenly Gabriel was standing in front of Sam, looking up at him with these pained eyes. "But you have to know that I've been watching you. I couldn't bear to see anything else happen to you again. I knew that I would have to do anything I could to keep you from dying anymore. I screwed up so many times in the past; I couldn't lose you again."

Sam scoffed. "But you only care because it's your job, right?"

Gabriel was just quiet, staring at Sam in disbelief and agitation. "God damn it, Sam. You're supposed to be the cunning one. You're a freakin' idiot."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You can't even tell when someone's in love with you," he replied through grit teeth. "I waited for you since the beginning of the time, and I tried to do whatever I could to take care of you. And now you're so ungrateful! I don't think I could've sent stronger signals! I had you do a commercial for an STD."

"That's supposed to be flirting?" Sam asked in a voice that was higher than normal, pretty taken aback. "What about when I was on that Japanese game show and got hit in the nuts, was that supposed to be flirting too?"

The angel disregarded his question, continuing with his examples. "And at Mystery Spot, I apologized every morning with the song you lost your virginity to." Gabriel threw his arms up. "What more do you need?!"

Sam turned away, because he might've been blushing. His face felt hot, anyway. At least it was still pretty dark in the resturant. "Were you around for that?" he asked.

"I stepped out during that part," Gabriel answered, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Kinda hard to watch the guy you love get laid behind a bus."

"I-I was at an Asia concert, there was nowhere else to go," Sam countered, defending himself, still not looking at Gabriel yet.

"Sam, how many times to I have to say that I love you before you respond to it in some way?"

The room fell silent after that, because honestly Sam didn't know what he should do. He couldn't say he'd never thought that way about Gabriel before, but he hadn't exactly anticipated all this. How was he supposed to know Gabriel would show up just when he needed him the most? He turned around, his hands out in front of him, and looked like he had no idea what he was doing. "Umm…okay."

Slowly, he came towards the surprised-looking angel and gently held him in his arms. He hadn't expected to feel like he was being wrapped in this immense comfort and warmth when Gabriel put arms around him too. This felt so strange and wonderful, and almost overwhelming, like nothing Sam had ever felt before. There was no way he was only feeling Gabriel.

"And…yes," Gabriel told him softly. "Those are my wings around you." Sam tensed, and Gabriel smiled. "I've always wanted to do this. It…probably doesn't feel the same. My wings are kinda messed up from all the times I went to Hell trying to get you out."

Sam relaxed a little, bending down so more of himself was around the angel. "How many times did you try?"

"Lost count," Gabriel replied. After a few seconds of silence, he nuzzled his head into Sam's chest. "It doesn't matter now. You're safe, that's all I care about."

They stayed like that for a while, and Sam actually really enjoyed it. At first, his heart was going crazy, but then he calmed down and just enjoyed the sensation. Gabriel decided to test his luck, and stood on his tiptoes in order to plant a subtle kiss on Sam's jaw. Sam got a little rigid, but held him tighter anyway. He just enjoyed having something new to live for.

"Oh, and Gabe?" Sam asked. He peered down at the angel, who now looked so tiny, and kind of adorable. "Just a heads up, "Heat of the Moment" can't be our song. It makes me think about Dean dying too much. Plus, I don't like thinking about that girl at the concert, either."

"So we get to have a song?" Gabe asked, and his eyes were so wide and shiny like a little kid. Yep, definitely adorable.

Sam just smiled at him. "If we're going to try being a couple, we're going to need one. And umm…" He looked away, still smiling, just being bashful. "I…would like to try that, being a couple, I mean. If you really love me so much…I think it wouldn't hurt for me to try and feel the same way."

"God, do I get to kiss you yet?"

At that, Sam really did blush a bit. He looked at the angel in surprise, but then chuckled at the frustrated, determined look on his face. "Umm…okay."

There was no delay. Gabe reached up with all his might, hands on Sam's shoulders to give him their first kiss. He'd waited for this moment literally since the beginning of time. It was taboo, and if any of the other angels found out – which they would, at some point – there would be hell to pay. Gabe wasn't scared of that, though. He was just worried that, in the end, Sam wouldn't feel the same way.

It was encouraging, though, when Sam laughed a little into his lips, bending down to ease the strain of Gabriel balancing on his toes, taking his face in his hands. Sam's hands were massive, jesus. Gabriel held back as much as he could, waiting until Sam was ready to deepen the kiss, and it didn't take long. He couldn't contain the small moan that escaped him when Sam first pressed his tongue into his mouth, and Sam seemed to really like that, moving closer. Gabriel gripped Sam's flannel shirt tight when he pulled away, but he almost fainted when Sam pushed their foreheads together and murmured in this deep, sexy voice that resembled a growl, "Yeah, I'm definitely keeping you."

A/N: This chapter has been newly edited, as of January 8, 2017. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this one shot, or any of the other ones.