Hello hello, Invader ZIM, fandom. I'm just going to say, this fic has been nearly a decade in the making. Well okay, maybe closer to five or seven years, but that's still a lot. It started as something fun to do when I was bored, and after a few years of revisions, I decided it was okay to show the public. I only wrote three chapters, back when I first started, but I decided to write more, well, I wrote only one, but I plan on writing more.

Also, some of this stuff might seem a little dated, since the fandom has changed a lot since 2005, but some of of the cliches I mock you still see today. Also, I'm not mocking anyone in particular, I make sure that all the stuff I make fun of is either a widespread cliche, or something of my own making. If you have any cliches, plots or characters you'd like me to add, then leave it in the review. I also know I'm not the best writer, so if you see any mistakes I keep making, feel free to say something, I'm not above a good constructive criticism.

Here's hoping the fic doesn't upload as a text wall. That keeps happening to me.

It is the future. Earth is normal, like it always was in the year 2000, and hardly anything had changed. There was the skool, which was still in use. Yeah, there was still the skool and... The city cesspool? I don't know!

One of the many things that haven't changed was the house of Dib. Now that he was no longer in skool, Dib had grown. He was now tall, and powerful looking, with more hair, with was silky and beautiful. His hair was kind of like Sephiroth's, only the bang still stuck up, and it was the black of a moonless night. Dib was no longer a freaky nerd, but a sexy hunk who everyone wanted to date!

"I feel pretty." Dib sang in a deep, masculine voice as he waited for his computer to load, even in the year 3000, because someone told me that IZ is set in the future, computers still take forever to load. "Oh so pretty! It is done. I must check my E-mails. Maybe the great, amazing, Almighty Tallest have sent me an E-mail."

Now, before this story started, there was a battle between the Irkens and an evil empire. Dib had to help ZIM and the Tallest, and let me tell you, it was an adventure. Explosions, chase scenes, space battles, and romance. Yes, romance. Dib and ZIM had fallen deeply in love.

Their love saved the day, and there was a big space parade in their honor. The Tallest blessed their relationship, since they are also space gay, but some people have a problem with it, since Dib isn't from space, so sometimes people are mean to them, JUST LIKE REAL GAY PEOPLE! See! This isn't just a fun fan fiction, this is about REAL LIFE issues!

After a amazing battle, which happened just before this story, Dib and ZIM fell in love, and Dib joined the Irken empire. The Irkens are such a kind race, they were happy to have any allies. The evil Vortians were so mean... I mean, cruel, and sly that the poor... (Hmmm... Thesaurus!) hapless, miserable and pathetic Irkens needed all the help they could get. It was so romantic, Dib and his love joining a huge, towering empire, who were fighting against a tiny resistance.

"Yay!" Dib cried, in a booming, manly voice, "They have sent me an E-mail! I must read my E-mail from the Tallest!"

Dib cried all this out while flexing his amazing muscles in several still shots, and than screamed "DI-DI-DI-DI-DIB!" and his name was in big letters behind him.

"HELP US!" Was written, obliviously from Tallest Red. "Purple had been taken from me by the mean, cruel, evil, mean... MEAN Vortians! HELP ME!"

"DIB MUST AID THEM!" Dib screamed, than flew off, but not before flexing and screaming. "DI-DI-DI-DI-DIB!"

Even though Dib is amazing, and SO hot, we need to go to the Tallest, and earlier that day.

They were on the Massive, giving another inspiring speech about how they will make sure the universe is safe for all. Omniversal peace was the Tallest's dream, especially Purple's.

"Donuts for all, and a peace and rejoice." Purple declared, he was the one who did the most talking.

The many drones cheered, some of them even cried tears of joy. They loved their leaders so much. The Tallest were so kind to them, and kept them safe, and always made sure they had plenty to eat, and good insurance.

"That sound happy..." Red drooled. "What it mean?"

"It means." Purple explained. "That everyone will have donuts, and live in peace and rejoicing!"

"Oh!" Red exclaimed, for Purple was smart enough to explain things to even an oaf like him. "That sound pretty!"

Red cried out with joy, and pranced around. Purple only watched with a small smile. Even if Red was a big idiot, he still loved him.

Purple turned around, stage left, to take a walk in the beautiful daisy patch on Irk. He loved daisies, they were so yellow, like the sun, it made him smile. He closed the door behind him, and smiled, he liked daisies, they were liked god's tears.

Purple walked carefully among the blooms, and not bothering the bees. You see, Irk is a beautiful planet, full of meadows and quaint villages. They really just wanted all the universe to be like them and live in peace. That was why they had a whole armada, and had invaders scout various planets. They wanted to see if each planet's species were pure of heart and sound in mind. If they weren't, they would leave the planet, and leave a complimentary gift basket for their leaders.

"You know," Purple said to himself. "I think I shall take a nap among this lovely foliage."

Dear, sweet Purple laid down on a particularly soft bit of grass. It was so cozy, almost as cozy as the massive. Purple did love the massive, as it was his home, and the Irken's ship of peace, but loved nature. All Irkens did.

Suddenly, Purple was roused from his sweet slumbers, by an aura with a faint hint of citrus mixed with pure EVIL! Almost as if every villain is lemons! The lemony scent was strong, and stinking of evil. Sure enough, the demur tallest was surrounded by a mass of Vortians. It was as if the whole Resisty had come to kill him!

"Put yous hands were we can see ems." Uttered the evil leader, wearing his yellow sunglasses.

"N... N... No.." Purple stammered, cowering.

The leader made a signal, and the others caught the Tallest, and tied him up. Purple did his best to struggle, but he was so weak. There was also no way he could think his way out of this predicament, as the Vortians were too cunning. They carried him off into their ship, and flew away. Their evil cackling and the smog from their non environmentally friendly ship was the only thing that remained.

"PURPLE!" Red cried, assuming fetal position.

The news had hit him hard, and Red didn't know what to do without Purple. If Purple were here, he would suggest some amazing plan of action, than they would all eat donuts latter and have a laugh about it. At that moment, Red realized that he loved Purple. He needed him more than anything on this Earth.

"Go... Um... In... That... Ummm... WHAAA!" Red tried to figure out what to do, but his tiny brain couldn't comprehend the smallest of plans.

The drones listened to him intently, the both loved their leaders so much. They were the ones that made sure that they were happy, and practically hand fed them donuts. They kicked the ship into overdrive, and chased after the lingering trail of the Vort ship.

It was then that one of the drones walked up to Red. The drone didn't like telling his beloved Tallest what to do, but it was obvious Red needed a hint.

"Mister Tallest Red." Said one of the drones, looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. "Maybe you should send Dib an email so he can help us. He is the most reliable character IN the whole sh- umm planet!"

Red began to write an email, begging the universe's mightiest hero for help. He even managed to write it all by himself, and the crew of the Massive was very proud of him for that.

"HELP US!" Was written, obliviously from Tallest Red. "Purple had been taken from me by the mean, cruel, evil, mean... MEAN Vortians! HELP ME!"

"Oh please..." Red pleaded, after the email was sent. "Somebody help us."

I hope every one enjoyed this first chapter, the next one will be up soon.