AN: This is the first of three chapters, each representing one of the steps in the cycle. Please review, I want to know what you think! And I know that it is short, but hopefully the next one will be longer. Enjoy!

Oliver Davis had her figured out. He memorized the length of her stride, the bounce of her hair, the average number of times she called him a 'narcissistic jerk' per day during the month of January- 18.372, if you must know. She waits 13 seconds for him to thank her for the tea before she gives up and storms off. He can recall every single time her life has been in danger, as well as the unpleasant feeling that came with it.

There was one thing, however, that continued to perplex him. It was not her recklessness or her persistence. It was neither her knack for trouble nor her ability to turn his nice, quiet office into a noisy cafe for the irregulars. No, he was confused about that simple process that made Mai Taniyama so uniquely herself. He's seen it happen multiple times, he knows what it is. Oliver "Naru" Davis, for all his bragging that his brain works differently, despite receiving his doctorate before reaching the age of 17, could not for the life of him figure out the "why" of it all. Why she gets so sad, then so angry, then happy once more. He simply could not understand the cycle of Mai.

That is, until he went through it himself.

Stage 1: Sadness

He started right for all the wrong reasons. Oh yes, he was most definitely sad about the death of Gene. But he had already gotten that out of system for the most part. This was a different kind of sad; while the first had been an agonizing grief, coupled with the overwhelming loss of his twin, this newfound sadness was a numbing melancholy, blinding him to all happiness.

Naru should have been glad to be back in London, back with his family and the original SPR. He should have been ecstatic, if that is even possible for a man such as our dear Naru, that there were no irregulars making a ruckus outside of his office, there at the invitation of his clumsy assistant. He should have been relieved that nobody lingered for 13 seconds longer than was necessary after delivering his tea- Earl Grey, but not as good as hers.

So many "should have been"s, but he wasn't.

He was upset he was never given any interesting cases to investigate in London just because he was the youngest employee. He was desperate for the sense of familiarity brought by the previously constant sound of Matsuzaki-san and Takigawa-san's endless bickering. He was becoming more and more melancholic every day due to not having her grace him with her presence for 13 extra seconds. He was careful to keep all this developing despondency hidden underneath his normal expressionless mask, but there will always be a few people who can never be fooled.

Namely, Koujo Lin, Mori Madoka, and Luella Davis. Bad things come in threes, as they say.

"Noll," his assistant started, his voice wavering slightly in hesitation. His charge looked up, catching the slip in manner. Lin's face, though he has been getting more sleep since the return to England, seemed almost dead, not even the usual slight flicker of amusement present in his visible eye. "Your mother, Madoka and I have noticed ... a shift in your demeanor. You aren't acting like you. You aren't drinking as much tea, for one, and when you do, you're always complaining about it. Madoka claims to know why." There. That flash, hinting at deeper knowledge than what he implies he has. He wouldn't admit it to his face, but he had his own suspicions as to the reason for Naru's attitude change.

"Oh? And what, pray tell, would that be? Lin, you two may be... involved, but you should know better than to get caught up in her childish fantasies." Naru sighed, going back to his book, glancing up once more when he felt Lin's presence come nearer. Knowing he would not be able to find any peace right now, he snapped his book shut and placed it none too gently on his small, unimportant desk.

"What did she say to you, Noll?" He knew that his assistant wasn't referring to his mentor, but Mai. Lin was never one to dance around a subject, instead preferring to get straight to the point. "More importantly, what did you say to her in reply? Something had to have happened for you to be so upset right now."

That day's events flooded into his mind, but one scene immediately arrived at the front. She claimed that she liked him, in a special way, but she was wrong. There was no way in his scientific mind that she liked him. She was mistaking him for Gene. But even then, that look of utter shock when he asked that tiny question, Me or Gene?, was seared into his memory permanently, scarring him. Reminding him that even when he was at his best, he would never be good enough for her.

Gene would be, though. That small thought that crept forward, so seemingly harmless, wreaked havoc upon his brain. That sadness, so innocent, turned into a scarier type of unrest, even farther still from that ideal state of joy. He was furious now, at himself, for deigning to hurt her precious soul in his own selfishness. At her, too, for fooling herself into believing that she loved him. And- a horrifying realization occurred- at Gene, his departed twin, for taking what should not have been his.

Thus, the first stage became the second.