Tori Goes Wild And Stuff.

Author: Invader Johnny.

Summary: Jade and Tori have a picnic in a graveyard, and indeed it will be memorable.

Notes: This story is meant to be kinda silly and crack-ish, just so I could take a rest from the dark writing I been doing on my Jade-Trina Saga, so everyone please enjoy and like always I don't own Victorious Dan does.

"Come on Jade let's leave!" Tori begged. "This can't be legal!"

"Quit being such a wet blanket Vega"

"I have a good reason to be a wet blanket!" Tori snapped "We are breaking and entering at night so we can have a picnic in the middle of a dark freaking cemetery!"

Jade snickered and in a mocking childlike voice responded. "Aww is wittle Sally Peaches afraid of the dead?"

Tori narrowed her eyes "I hate you"

"Ah, on the contrary I think you love me very much, if you didn't we wouldn't be here on my birthday"

"Your birthday is tomorrow!"

"Which is an hour and a half from now to be exact" The Goth pointed out nonchalantly "Don't worry I just want to be here long enough to see if the ghost of a pedophile that got burned alive a few decades ago is really coming back from his grave"

"I REALLY hate you"

Jade grabbed the scared Latina's hand and squeezed it "Seriously Tor, thank you for doing this"

"As long as I'm don't end up dying I'll give you your present at midnight"

Jade kissed her "I'm counting on it"

After the girls made it to the grave or at least where it was assumed the body was buried, since the man "Freddy", Jade thought his name was, didn't exactly got a proper burial, his corpse was just dumped in a hole people deemed deep enough to be close to hell, she and Tori made their picnic.

"What did you bring Vega?"

"Let's see uh, strawberries, whip cream, sandwiches…and… ok what are you looking at me like that?"

Jade smiled at her lover evilly "Ah we going to do it at midnight I presume?"

"What? no, NO!" Tori denied hurriedly "Why would you think that?!"

"Your food choices"

Tori blushed, not believing she didn't pick up on that "No, we are not doing it in the middle of a cemetery, especially not on our first time!"

"Aww" Jade whined in disappointment "Just when I thought you were turning wild"

"Hey! I can be very wild!" Tori said with a squeak to her voice.

The Goth snorted mockingly "Right, because sweet Tori Vega is known for her wild side"

"I AM WILD!"

"And Robbie will kiss me someday" Jade said sarcastically.

"Ewww that's an image I did not want in my head"

Jade cringed realizing what she just said "Ok that makes two of us, still my point stands"

"I will prove to you that I CAN be wild!"

"Surrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you can"

Tori narrowed her eyes "Don't mock me Jadey"

The Goth growled "Ok you are on Vega, tell you what, prove me wrong and I will dress up like that insane little robot what's his name? Gir? For that stupid Half-o-ween party next week"

"Aww in the green doggy suit?" Tori cooed "Cat will love that"

"Well you better save an imaginary picture in your head because it's not happening"

"I will prove you wrong"

"Oh?" Well Vega in the events that you do which I remind you, will never happen" then I'll keep my end of the deal but if you don't" Tori could see the evil glee in her girlfriend's blue eyes "You'll have to kiss me in my cheeks in front of everyone at school!"

Tori blinked "Jade I think you are losing your touch"

The Goth smirked cruelly "You do realize I wasn't talking about my face, right Vega?"

The tanned girl widened her eyes, understanding what her lover meant "You can't be serious!"

Jade made chicken sounds to goad her into accepting.

"You suck" Tori growled.

"So you agree?"

"Fine, it's a deal, but you won't win!"

"Aw come on Vega" Jade taunted "You would think that kissing my ass was not out of the ordinary, after all you done so before"

Tori groaned in exasperation "Ah, so now doing nice things for you is ass kissing?!"

"Chill Vega" Jade said soothingly "I'm only teasing"

"It's not funny" She pouted "It's a wonder why I love you"

"Damn"

"What?"

"Had I know you would agree so easily I would have bet that we do it in the cemetery"

Tori narrowed her eyes angrily "For the last time Jade, I'm not losing my virginity in a place full of dead people!"

"You're no fun"

"And you're incorrigible!"

Midnight came and went, and much to Jade's utter disappointment, no evil pedophilic ghost appeared. But she still had a pretty memorable time, since Tori was freaking out at every little sound they heard, Jade loved seeing the half-Latina all jumpy, so of course the pale girl had to up the ante and tell her that the parents who killed Freddy died one by one and their souls were reported to come to this graveyard to ensure Freddy doesn't go far from his resting place.

Tori was about ready to run for it had Jade not grabbed her by her legs and had to sit on top of her so she wouldn't escape.

"Jade!" She bellowed "Get off me!"

"Man, am I a bitch".

"I'm going to get you back for this Jade!"

"I love you too baby"

The half Latina growled.

Despite no paranormal entity appearing during their picnic, another thing did.

After Tori calmed down, Jade released her and to the Goth's surprise the younger brunette actually wanted to prove to her psychotic girlfriend that she could be wild and started to drink some alcohol the thespian had brought, but only after half a bottle was drunk, Tori said she needed to pee real bad and since there were no bathrooms nearby she had to go near a bush.

Jade suggested a nearby grave, but Tori refused since in her sarcastic words "Desecrating a grave? Oh yeah, that's sure to win me points with the big man upstairs"

"Come on! Do it! Jade encouraged "Maybe you'll piss off something and a corpse will come from the ground and grab you!"

"WHAT?! NO!"

The Goth rolled her eyes "baby"

She took another drink from her beer.

Tori then walked off and took refuge behind a large white Azalea bush. "Hey Jade" Tori said about a minute later.

"What Vega?" The Goth asked without looking.

"Feel like going for a jog?"

"What the fuck kind of question is that Tori?" Jade asked "Do you want to get mu.."

Jade stopped what she was saying when she finally made eye contact with her lover.

Blue eyes opened as wide as saucers. "WHAT THE HELL VEGA?!"

Tori smirked smugly "Is this wild enough for you?"

The tanned girl was wearing her birthday suit.

"Vega" Jade warned darkly "Put some clothes on"

"Well this is the first time you ever said that to me."

The Goth scowled "That's different, we were alone, and now we are in the middle of a goddamned cemetery with cars driving by every five seconds!"

"Then you better catch me and put my clothes on me before I get arrested!"

Tori ran by her yelling "I'M NAKED!" with a high pitched tone, then disappeared behind a small mausoleum.

Jade couldn't help but think "Even when she's dunk, my Tori still looks sexy nude" but then shakes her head when understanding what she was witnessing.

"Vega come back here and put on some pants!" Jade ordered ominously "I am not going to bust your naked ass out of jail if you get caught! Tori? TORI?!"

She got on her feet sand started running in the direction she saw her girlfriend run into.

"VEGA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS" Jade bellowed like a madwoman "NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SEE YOU WITHOUT PANTS BUT ME!"

Jade suddenly heard Tori's voice to her left. "Kiss my ass Jade!"

She quickly ran to where the sound of the voice was, but Tori was far gone.

Somewhere off in the darkness she could hear HER say in a playful, but drunk voice. "Hey moon….look at my boooob's. Aren't they wonderful…"

"STOP THAT!" Barked Jade

"Ok then, HEY! LOOK MOON I'M MOONING YOU!"

"lower your ass Vega!"

All Jade heard in response was a spate of giggling.

Two and a half hours later the thespian was tired of playing a deranged version of hide and seeks with her naked girlfriend. Jade eventually found Tori, fast asleep while hugging a tombstone.

She rolled her eyes "In a way she did desecrate a grave"

Jade grabbed Tori and carried her away bridal style, even though the sleeping girl was covered in mud and leaves. To Jade she was still beautiful, even more so when she muttered in her sleep "Umm Jade, faster"

Said girl blushed "Well Vega, someday your dream will turn into a reality but sadly tonight's not the night"

Tori sleepily put her left hand on Jade's breast and squeezed it "Ok even your sleep you got to grope them huh?" She asked rhetorically.

The Goth stopped in her tracks when she realized something "Aw shit on a stick, she proved me wrong!"

Jade looked at Tori's sleeping face and smirked confidently "Ah what I worrying about? She won't remember a thing".

To Jade's dismay, the half-Latina did remember the events at the graveyard and a couple of days later a very smug Tori Vega was at Jade's house dressed in her costume.

Tori was dressed like Gaz from Invader Zim, she had even dyed her hair purple, was wearing the dark dress and around her neck was a necklace in the shape of a stylized human skull.

In the pale girl's eyes was a cruel joke on her girlfriend's part, since she did it because she thought they "should match" however the costume could serve as another character, Tori didn't know this, but if she had put a bald cap and devil horns she would resemble Pepito, the antichrist from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

She decided to keep that to herself not wanting to possibly traumatize Tori.

"Come on Jade!" The tanned teen yelled exasperatedly "We are going to be late!"

"I'm not coming out!"

"Don't be such a baby" Tori said with a bit of delight "I think you look cute"

"Well I don't do cute!" She shot back "Just like you don't do scary!"

"Jade come out already or I swear I will go to the party by myself dressed like Catwoman!" Tori threatened "I got the spare costume in my car, so unless you want both guys and girls seeing me in a very tight outfit you WILL come out now!"

The older girl finally made it down the stairs, dressed in a green doggy suit, true to Gir's disguise Jade has an oversized zipper going from her chest to her lower region, the black legs and arms were the only thing the Goth liked since it's a color she was comfortable with, she did however put some booths only to add a bit of her style to the costume, she also wore a pair of glasses to represent the robot's true cyan eyes, but what really made this humiliating wasn't the hoody which was currently up but rather the little black tail on her ass.

"I feel like an idiot"

Tori smiled while taking a picture with her phone "I got a pic of my little servant"

Jade was not amused "Delete it Vega!"

"Baby even if I delete it you can't prevent everyone in the party to take picture of you"

"I really hate you"

The Latina shook her finger patronizingly "I don't think you do, in fact I think you a very fond of me and by the end of the night you will love me even more"

"I doubt it"

"You sure?" Tori questioned.

"Oh I'm sure"

"Then you won't care to know that I've taken the liberty of going commando."

Jade gasped as her mind quickly went into the proverbial gutter.

Tori grinned triumphantly "I thought so."

"Vega has gone wild!"

"Now come along Gir!"

Just as Tori made her way to the front door, she was swung backwards and her lips met her girlfriend's.

Tori closed her eyes while opening her mouth to let Jade's tongue in.

After minutes of kissing they both had to let go so they could breath.

Jade smirked evilly at Tori "Two can play at this game"

"Oh really?"

"Yup, play your cards right Vega and you might just get some tonight" Jade said seductively, while moving her hips as she walked past her stunned girlfriend.

The temporary Goth narrowed her eyes dangerously "Oh I might? No, I will!"

Tori followed Jade out the door, slamming it with suck force it felt like it could break in half at any moment.

"I will destroy your pussy Jade!"

Later that night Tori finally lost her virginity.

Well what you guys thought?

if you didn't noticed this has way to many obvious references to Invader Zim, the title is a parody of "Gir goes crazy and Stuff" when Tori screamed "I'm naked!" It's something Gir did in "Walk of Doom" and finally when Jade kissed Tori while they were in their costumes, it was an eater egg since Gir did kissed Gaz and I felt that toying around with that would be quite amusing.

I also made a not so subtle reference to Freddy Kruger, meh.

anyways what this too crack-ish or semi in character?

Second disclaimer: I guess I should say I don't own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez does.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.